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August 18, 2002

And it’s a big “Jai guru deva” shoutout for the California GOP Atrios links to this unofficial site promoting doomed anti-choice right-winger Bill Simon for Governor of California.

Understand, personally, if I had to choose between Simon and incumbent Democrat Gray Davis, a death-penalty-extolling money machine with all the warm humanity of a hammerhead shark, I’d probably have a seizure in the voting booth and need to be carried away by burly EMTs.

But that’s not what struck me most forcefully about this site addressed to “you, the conservative pro-life California voter.” Granted, I shouldn’t be surprised, but it still startles me to see, at the bottom of this red-white-and-blue exercise in invoking the California GOP’s memories of Reaganish glory, a note from the web designer that concludes “Thank you for your kind understanding and compliance. May Karma continue to return your best intentions.”

Okay, so we have to take our cognitive dissonance where we can find it. Nothing to see here. Move along.

[UPDATE: Jeanne D’Arc gently points out that the site in question is obviously satirical. Er um.] [11:37 PM]

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Hard-Hitting Moderator: Teresa Nielsen Hayden.

Comments on And it's a big "Jai guru deva" shoutout for the California GOP:

Oliver ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 02:24 AM:

The California GOP had a chance to beat Governor Lowbeam, and it was moderate Richard Riordan. Simon's pro-life, conservative stance along with his financial shenanigans probably cedes California to the Democrats completely. The turnout will probably be tepid at best, and unless the Green candidate pulls a Nader - Governor Lowbeam gets the "hold your nose" vote.

Ulrika O'Brien ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 03:44 AM:

My usual NPR station is fundraising 24X7 at the .2
mo, so I switched to the Minnesota Public Radio affiliate for the duration. Truthfully, I would have done it sooner, but I thought I couldn't get the station clearly here, and it was only the extremity of All Pledge Radio that led me to try again. Which was why I got to hear the honorable Jesse Ventura on a Minneapolis-based variety show last night, sounding as strangely reasonable and grass rootsy as ever. And as a person who potentially is faced with a choice between Simon and Davis in November, assuming I have a permanent address then, and it's somewhere in California, I thought to myself, I wonder what the chances of getting up a Jesse Ventura write-in campaign are? If ever there was a state ripe for a sensible, affable, down-to-earth third party candidate, it's us. Wah.

Mary Kay ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 10:40 AM:

Ulrika: Ha ha, nyah nyah nyah. I'm moviing to Seattle so I don't gotta worry about burly EMTs carrying me out of the voting booth and whether or not I've got on clean underwear. Okay, so we're not actually going to sell the house in California until after November. Details, petty details.


Jeanne ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 10:57 AM:

I assumed it was a satirical site. Hard to believe anyone who liked Simon would put up such dreadful pictures of him. His campaign pictures make him look like Clark Kent about to enter the phone booth. In these he looks demented. Also look at the way their links bring up all the charges against Simon, with an attempt to spin them so desperate it seems to drop below even the silliest Republican levels.
If this isn't satire, Republicans are even dumber than I believe.

Patrick Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 11:03 AM:

No, it's me who's even dumber than you believe. You're absolutely right, this is obviously a spoof site, and I fell for it entirely.

For my next trick, I will run around the room with a paper sack over my head making "bawk bawk bawk" noises.

Daryl McCullough ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 11:20 AM:

It may have been satire, but it isn't too far-fetched. My former employer was:

-- A brilliant mathematician who believed in Astrology and reincarnation and rejected evolution and relativity.

-- A Jew turned Buddhist who became a millionaire working as a defense contractor.

-- A vegetarian, right-to-life Reagan Republican.

Mister Hepburn ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 12:29 PM:

I'm glad to see some of you got the humor of the site. It is, as Jeanne mentioned, just a little below even Republican spin levels. Not too much, mind you, or it wouldn't have entertained Patrick Nielsen Hayden so much :)

BTW - no one so far has noticed, or publicly remarked, on the fact that on the background page, Bill Simon has only three fingers on his right hand - a subtle, yet blatant, touch that I enjoy laughing at when right wing people thoughtlessly link to the site without noticing that not only is Bill Simon a cartoon character regarding how vacuous his head apparently is, but he sports the same kind of digital periphery to boot.

I'm glad to see that some of you enjoyed the prank.

Simon Shoedecker ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 01:43 PM:

Jon Carroll says, vote for Peter Camejo.

This has been an unpaid announcement, thank you.

Scott Janssens ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2002, 04:44 PM:

Mary Kay, I'd hold those nyah nyah's if you're moving to Seattle.