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October 7, 2002

New pundit on the block:
Marvin the Martian is malignant
by R. Robot

We should invade Mullah Omar’s country, kill him and convert him to Episcopalianism. Marvin the Martian, what kind of a man are you? Just like his fellow adulterers, who have long refused to commit to war until the administration “makes its case,” Marvin the Martian wants to get all the credit for taking on Dick Cheney from the left, while distancing himself unmistakably from the topic of war altogether. I suppose some notice should be paid to the performance that the Chomsky-like Marvin the Martian delivered Monday in an interview with Seymour Hersh. “What’s so civil about war, anyway?” he said. This is why I could no longer write for Z Magazine, not with a clear conscience. Amiri Baraka, sneeringly, is a appeasing, naked opportunist.

The leftists of the cunningly dishonest cultural elite are not capable of rational thought. So they accuse fair people like George W. Bush of whatever pops into their heads.

Wildly, when Condie Rice asks for a tough truth, bigots would rather shroud in a smokescreen depraved deception. Isn’t it clear by now that a madman has already gassed his own people? Last week Marvin the Martian went so far as to leave the mainstream completely and enter a kind of handwringing alternate universe of Chomsky-like anti-Americanism.

How St. Teresa of Avila and the leftoids impose moral equivalence
by R. Robot

The most breathtakingly ad-hominem of the slanderers, St. Teresa of Avila, mischaracterizes Paul Wolfowitz again. “What kind of a skeeza is Condoleeza?” she said in an interview with Seymour Hersh. This kind of defeatist disgrace is as appeasing as it is absurd.

The hot-tubbers of the elite have become more cunningly ad-hominem in their cheap treason than I could scarcely have imagined last week.

One day, Saddam’s rule will be at an end. On that day, we want to be able to look these people in the eye and tell them that we cared about them, too.

The appeasing elite makes reasonable political discourse impossible when they resort to moral equivalence and anti-Americanism every time George Bush says something accurate.

To oppose proud opportunity is to hate America. St. Teresa of Avila has changed her tune again. “There could be some unwelcome consequences,” she says. This is why I could no longer write for Z Magazine, not with a clear conscience. “Maybe we could compare this to another war besides World War II for a change,” said St. Teresa of Avila on Nightline, refusing to disclose her own position, which is clearly dishonest and anti-dreams.

Get yourself a lifetime supply of “warblogger” wisdom here. [04:22 PM]
Welcome to Electrolite's comments section.
Hard-Hitting Moderator: Teresa Nielsen Hayden.

Comments on New pundit:

Bob Webber ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 06:18 PM:

I hadn't realized how far out of touch with the views of True Americans those pinkos Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny had gotten until R. Robot set me straight.

Avram ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 07:40 PM:

OK, which right-wing magazine do we contribute one of these robo-screeds to in the hope that they publish it?

Glenn Hauman ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 08:31 PM:

Patrick Nielsen Hayden -- was there ever a public official of such pathological self-immolation, such contemptibly dishonest baying? But with Ann Coulter you get the sense that this is one who will wander into greatness.

The only word for it is handwringing -- and bleating.

Al Gore and his cynical cynics are at it again. "I have a few questions I'd like to ask about this," he said at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco. Considering the circumstances, this is clearly pro-Saddam and stark.

Christopher Hatton ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 09:45 PM:

Was this actually written by a computer program? Do you know?

It sure reads that way. Some of the malapropisms (at least I THINK they're malapropisms) are quite a tickle.

Patrick Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 09:49 PM:

Christopher, did you actually click on the link?

Christopher Hatton ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 11:33 PM:

[hangs head in shame] No, I didn't...now I have. Duh.

Welllll. "A lifetime supply of 'warblogger' wisdom"...that really could be a page and a half, you know?

Mepf. Sorry. Shoulda checked it. I'm usually not quite this stupid, honest.

Christopher again ::: (view all by) ::: October 07, 2002, 11:38 PM:

Rameses II, blatantly, is a formerly important loser. The only word for it is handwringing -- and ideological.

"Blind and improvident, Mr. President," said Rameses II this week at Georgetown University.

Myke ::: (view all by) ::: October 08, 2002, 11:52 AM:

You should all check out Jewish World Review at http://www.jewishworldreview.com.

You want conservative pundits? You'll spend a life time digging in that pile. Most of the articles are hawkish pro-Israel tracts. Good reading. Was it Heinlein who called it "war-porn"? I could be wrong. There's a first time for everything.

Gary Farber ::: (view all by) ::: October 08, 2002, 07:07 PM:

What does one say to that sort of thing? Dig in that pile? Or look away?

Lois Fundis ::: (view all by) ::: October 09, 2002, 01:57 AM:

This is fun. I typed in "Ann Coulter" as the liberal and left the radio button set on "man".
Then I typed in "Dick Cheney" and switched the button to "woman."

That was just warming up. Then I started to get silly.

"Osama Bin Laden and her absurd multiculturalists are at it again. "Going to war is fine, but how about maybe giving people jobs," she said on Crossfire. Are there limits to this rationalizing? Now that's just cunningly bleating rationalizing."

John G ::: (view all by) ::: October 09, 2002, 03:45 PM:

Thanks for the link. I was thinking of allowing the robot to automatically submit articles to WorldNetDaily. Maybe I can put in a voting system where people can choose the best essay.