By which He has granted to Osama bin Laden His precious and exceedingly great promises; that through these Osama bin Laden may become a partaker of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world by lust.

Whoa, that's really not good.

. . . you are an evil, evil woman.

And then they go out the next morning and make laws. Eww. . .

That way, you can amaze your friends with the sermon on the mount where Jesus says, "Bork bork bork!"

Or the Snoop Dog Shizilater.

"...And Jesus spake unto them,'Ain't no thang, Dawg'."

Blasphemy is so amusing...

I'm going to be a wimp and bleep out words, but it's much better if you say it in your head with all the words. From vague memory:

Don't f*** your parents.
Don't f*** the kids.
Don't f*** the grandkids.
Don't f*** with me; I am the LORD.

Don't f*** your father's wife.
Don't f*** your sister.
Don't f*** your father's sister.
Don't f*** your mother's sister.
Don't f*** with me; I am the LORD.

Don't f*** your daughter-in-law.
Don't f*** your father's brother, or his wife.
Don't f*** both a woman and her daughter, or a woman and her granddaughter; that's just sick.
And don't f*** her sister either, at least not until the first woman's dead.
Don't f*** with me; I am the LORD.

Although, on actually going back and reading the original, the regular cadence of the "I am the LORD" bit really doesn't happen until Leviticus 19, and all the "don't uncover the nakedness of..." stuff is from Leviticus 18, so maybe we'd mixed the two passages at that point. It was very late at night.

Seeing it credited to Alvin Hawkins is less gratifying, though.

That's a fine question, indeed. I'm semi in the market for a book manufacturer.

From talking with him, I expect he'd answer lots of questions about how he did it (he lists his designer, who has good design sense and seems to understand readability of body faces as an important criterion). Check him out and let me know what you find.

Cheers,
Tom

Thanks, very informative. Data Reproductions Corporation is the bookbinders that the author you mentioned used. he has a link on his site. They do University presses and a variety of other book binding. I'll definitely have to lookinto them when I'm finished proofing my novel.

Today I got to thinking...they're actually not far off on creating a truly marketable product. If, instead of replacing all the occurrences of "you" with my name, they replaced all the occurrences of the word "Jesus" and "Jesus Christ" with my name, I'd actually buy that. I think it'd be a big hit.

Tittilatingly, the site even accepts "Satan, Lord of the Damned":

"No longer do I call Satan, Lord of the Damned a servant, for a servant doesn't know what his lord does. But I have called Satan, Lord of the Damned a friend, for everything that I heard from My Father, I have made known to Satan, Lord of the Damned."

It's very childish, but they were asking for it, really.

Paul's Letter to your penis and to the Ephesians
Chapter 1
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus through the will of God, to your penis and to the saints who are at Ephesus, and the faithful in Christ Jesus: 2Grace to your penis and peace from God, your penis's Father and his Lord, Jesus Christ.

3Blessed be the God and Father of your penis's Lord, Jesus Christ, who has blessed your penis with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ; 4even as He chose your penis in Him before the foundation of the world, that your penis would be holy and without blemish before Him in love; 5having predestined your penis for adoption as a son through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His desire, 6to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He freely bestowed favor on your penis in the Beloved.