There's nothing like a good diner -- hot coffee, greasy eggs over easy, waitresses with 'tude.

Nearly everything in the west is so tragically new. Except Chuy's-- which has embraced the concept of seediness and good food -- but alas, they don't serve breakfast and their seediness is contrived.

With nothing of the atmosphere and greasy glory of the previously mentioned establishments, if you're in Chicago and need a breakfast skillet, Mellow Yellow is to die for. Right down to the part where you weep for not being able to eat it all and having to take half of it home for dinner later on.

I think we were going to the one in Yonkers.

[Whine: please allow <abbr> and <small> tags in comment markup?]

Before NH, we lived down in southern Rhode Island. By far the best restaurant down there is Crazy Burger in Narragansett. It's an eclectic little place that serves up some of the most delicious and innovative grub we've ever come across. From phyllo-wrapped salmon-pistachio patties with mango-lime mayonnaise to delicious Caribbean blackened tilapia fillets, they've got something for every palate, and numerous options for vegans and vegetarians.

And maybe Ruby's in Missoula, but that's a long damned way to go for breakfast.

Enquiring aliens want to know ...

Egg flipped over (cooked on both sides) but the yolk still liquid.

And there I'd be, 60 miles from Vollmer's, and the closest anything would be the 7-11 a block away, where I might find a candy bar or a Twinkie or something similar. No tortes.

My sister shops there a lot. She took me and my niece there a few years back. It's a "channel" store, with one long winding aisle you must proceed down. There were talking and singing cow manniquins and other barnyard animatronics, a guy stationed by the coffee grinder to tell you all about beans, and stations selling soft serve ice cream and such.

By the check out is a wall full of photos of people posing with Stew Leonard bags in front of famous landmarks. There should be one by me up there; a crowd of well-bundled rocket nerds standing around a camp fire in Oregon's high desert.

Monday through Thursday you could get a dinner there, and get a free pass for that evening's double feature at The Cinema theater across the street. I don't know if this deal is ongoing, however; the theater recently raised the price of its double feature ticket from $3 to $5.

The lunchwagons I mentioned are rolling stock.

Never got a chance to eat at one of the lunchwagons either time I was in Hawai'i. If I can ever get back I'll make a point of doing so.

But they're almost always requiems. They're almost always posts about places that are closing their doors because we don't have quite enough luxury apartments and malls yet.

Thank you for writing about places that are unique and wonderful and still there.

On the other hand, it looks like the place on the A6, just north of Towcester, still shows on Google Earth. There's the Ram Jam Inn on the A1, at Stretton,

These places are on the old roads of England. The motorways, the roads people usualy use to travel, they have service areas which are 24/7 corporate mini-malls. Not bad food, but unexciting and priced to pay for the night staff.

The cheap places, those slightly shabbyimmobile non-buildings, are rarely open at weekends.

The Spar did *what*? (I assume you are talking about the place in Olympia where we always stopped to get a hot roast beef sandwich w/ gravy.) I noticed the last time we were there, about 10 years ago, that they'd put jazz in in the back room, and figured it was a downhill slog from there, but McMenamin's, oh the pain.

All this healthy living has been heck on the old traditional places on both coasts.

The decor and the milkshakes and the cigar counter are supposed to stay, but I doubt McMenamin's will keep the older bits of the menu, like the hot beef and turkey sandwiches and the fried oysters.

I was about to go to Papa Murphy's for mediocre bake-at-home pizza. Now you have me wondering if there's even a greasy spoon in the vicinity.

If you are in Portland, Oregon and want a good burger, fries and milkshake, you must go to Mike's. Two locations, both eastside: in Sellwood on 17th just south of Tacoma, and in Milwaukie on... oh, dammit, I can't remember the street name, but it's just off the bypass and two lights before the Albertson's grocery plaza. Look them up in the local phone book, the milkshakes are worth it.

(If you're downtown and don't want to go that far, stop at Rice Junkies for a wrap (there's one on 10th by the old Galleria and another one down between 3rd and 4th a couple of blocks off Morrison) or get a Honkin' Huge Burrito from the vending cart in Pioneer Square.)

On the other coast, if you happen to be in central Maine, try Big G's Deli in Winslow for more food than you can eat in one sitting. You want the half sandwich. Trust me on this. They bake their own bread and it is about 8" across. Can't remember how late they do breakfast, but if you want an omelette you can get damn near anything wrapped up in it you can think of and probably a few things you'd rather not think about. The dining room gets a bit loud and crowded but it's worth it.

And for the really out-of-the-way places, stop in at Four Seasons in Jackman, ME. Jackman is the last town before the Canadian border on the road to Quebec City. Good home-style cooking, large portions, reasonable prices, and admire the proprietor's collection of coffee mugs. (Over 1000, last I heard.)

Mmmm. I should make a list.

Also there's Waffle House, where I ended up last week, and where my server looked a bit too much like one Miss Noxeema Jackson, on a really bad night (1/appetizing).

We still have two or three that we enjoy -- but only one of those is of a quality on a par with what it used to be like. That one is an hour and a half away (of course). It's named Michael's, it's on Route One about 10 miles south of Princeton.

Fantastic salad bar (which sometimes includes spanakopita, and really, what else do you have to say?).

They're known for amazingly bad-taste decor, huge menus, and variable quality.

Some have huge portions and fabulously generous multi-course dinner specials.

One of my favorites was called The Dragon Boat and was on the waterfront in Sai Kung Town. They used to have a great curry that used french fries instead of potatoes and an Indonesian Fried Rice that has ever served as my benchmark of how it should be. Unfortunately, they appeared to get a new cook a few years ago, and the quality of those two dishes fell off.

When I am out of HK, I miss them. So filling and such value for money.

Also, starting in late November, the parking lot smells sweetly of christmas tree trucks.

That said, though, my favorite diner of all time isn't even in this time zone: it's the 101 Coffee Shop on Franklin Blvd. in West Hollywood (inside the Best Western Hollywood Hills). They might as well be 24 hours (closed from 3-7 am), and their French toast is really good, though my favorite menu item is their hominy grits. They brew the iced tea right and fresh, too. I'm going back in a couple weeks, and I can't wait.

(And re the "frappe line" -- that's the border between Massachusetts and Connecticut, isn't it? I order a frappe here in CT and they look at me like I've got two heads. And yet strangely, I ask for jimmies on my cone and they know exactly what I'm talking about. Ah, Connecticut, the land that New England tried to forget.)

And there's a regional distinction between the west coast and the midwest about Chili Size- here it's chili with raw onion and cheese (or sometimes a chili burger done that way).

Not that I know for sure, but the people I go out to dinner with in Portland and Seattle are stuck on Mexican food, so if there's a British cafe I haven't seen one.

There's actually a pretty good one on the East Side, but no rarebit. The Bon Marche restaurants used to have it, but after Macy's (God rot them) bought into the chain they removed the restaurants...

Thanks for the info on the chili size. I gather the elaborate multi-layer versions are an Ohio thing--I've got cooking directions for one but would rather get one pre-made for my first time rather than brave it out myself. God knows how vile Poutine would have been if I'd tried making it in cold blood.

Macys has a lot to answer for.

Well, the coffee is apparently up to my standards, if Sunday's strip is to be believed.

Also, Moody's Diner in Waldoboro, ME, which is the source of some very serious pies and of bibs that read "I'm a Moody Baby."

I am restraining myself valiantly from discussing delis, seafood shacks, and other related, but not entirely on-thread eateries.

There's also a Spar in Tacoma, by the way, up the hill a few blocks from the waterfront where all the hang-out bars are.

The Spar in Tacoma is a dive bar, or at least was, not a blue-plate special place like Olympia's Spar (when Tim Egan left as the NW correspondent for the NYT, one of the new guys first articles included a very clueless depiction of The Spar, making this particular small town look as if it hadn't changed since I was a kid and it was as far back in the hills as you could get at sea level; at that point, Sleater Kinney still had a tendency to eat breakfast in the front booths).

And, speaking of dinerish places, the Poodle Dog in Fife still makes peanut butter pie.

oh man... droooool.

my wife and i went back to Roch to visit friends, two years ago. after hitting all our favorite diners (Nicks, Highland Diner, Gitsis, McGregors, Doc Hua) we bought a freezer pack of Zweigle's red and white hots (packed in a little barrying case with dry ice, for air travel). i just thawed a package last weekend. even after two years in the freezer, they were as good as new.

back to NE, i recommend Billy's Chowder House in Wells Beach, ME.

we moved down to Raleigh, NC, from upstate NY. about the only thing we can find open late night are burger shops (CharGrill and CookOut) and Waffle Houses. but what we really want, at 2:30am, saturday is a big gravy-soaked open-faced turkey sammich. but, there's no place to get that down here. it's sad.

on the other hand, the eastern NC BBQ is damned good. now if someone would just bring down some Kimmelwick rolls, i could put that vinegar and pepper pork on one and recreate the yummy "Saratoga Style" BBQ you can get at PJ's, outside of Saratoga NY.

no, dummy, a carrying case.

We prefer to sit in the "real" diner side when we can for the full ambience. I live near Worcester,MA and so actually get to eat at "real" diners often. I do miss the diners in NJ though, they were almost as big a draw as the man (that would be husband #2) I was visiting.

There are currently benefits being organized. I hear them advertised on the radio sometimes.

Unfortunately, the Miss Portland Diner, where you could crack your kneecaps on the table scooching into a booth and then load up on coffee, kielbasa and eggs of a Sunday morning, is no longer with us.

Then there's The Full Belly Deli near the Portland-Westbrook line. Corned beef, brisket, or pastrami, latkes with apple sauce, and chicken soup made on the premises.

Alas, I can't have matzos because I have food sensitivities (shouldn't be eating the latkes either, really, but what the hell). The chicken rice soup is wonderful even if you don't have a cold.

Moody's is good if you happen to be in Waldoboro. If, on the other hand, you happen to be in Belfast, try Dudley's which is downtown just before the wharf. Last time I was in there they had Polish Corn Chowder on the soup bar and it was to die for. I hear the rest of their food is good, too.

And if you happen to be in Machias, stop at Helen's. You won't have much choice if you're trying to eat in Machias, there ain't much else there. But Helen's has some wicked good pie.

Good thing I don't have appts at Kaiser Woodbridge too often; I'd eat way too much chili.

I was going to mention both O'Rourke's and Moody's, but you beat me to it. Moody's also had something new to me: clamcakes, made like crab cakes, only different shellfish.

#57 Rikibeth:

I'd heard about the demise of O'Rourke's, but I hadn't known that the reason he wasn't too keen on rebuilding was no insurance.

Locally in Austin, a comfort-food lunch place was in that situation a couple of years ago, and has just reopened (new location) after a spate of benefits and a stretch serving out of portable facilities.

The food's great, only place I've ever had grits which were edible to my northen palate. I wish I could remember the name. It's about a mile south of an abandoned Studebaker dealership, sign still swinging in the wind.

I could probably arrange to get you some Kimmelwicks, for the right price, actually... (Native Rochesterian, still there) :-)

I'm kinda surprised nobody at Wegmans has thought of a mail-order service for local delicacies - there are enough Upstate ex-pats out there (friends in Boulder call their infrequent trips to Rochester their "journey to Wecca" because it has to involve a stop at Wegmans...) to make such a service at least moderately profitable. I know Zweigles does an okay business air-shipping freezer containers of their hot dogs to various places.

Thena wrote -
that was just the thing at the unholy hours of the night between when the bars close and when the donut shops open.

Donut shops close? ;-)

What I miss around here is the original local version of Perkins - 24 hours, about a step up from the greasy spoon diner, breakfast anytime, and a menu so full of options that it could lead to indecision ( friend of mine used to order deakfast - dinner/breakfast - by rolling a d10 multiple times against their "sides and extras" tables for dinner and breakfast... "I'll have ahh... (clatter) French Fries, with sausage patties, a biscuit with gravy, and (clatter) cinnamon-raisin toast"). In-store bakery for muffins and cakes and such, a menu that changed just enough to keep it fresh with options - it was a chain (and a good sized one, at least locally - a dozen locations or so), but never really felt like chain food.

I think Perkins fueled more late-night gabba sessions for the RIT and UofR gaming and SF clubs than anywhere else - and that was with Jays and Mt. Hope diner being closer to the UofR.

The new Perkins chain is far too Family Dining oriented - good restaurant, but not really worthy of the Perkins name. Old Perkins was a family diner that didn't mind truckers and cheapskate students - Perkins today definitely does not want a crowd of students in the back corner sucking down pot after pot of coffee, arguing about everything under the sun until the sun was back in the sky, and redeeming themselves only by tipping amazingly well (because some of us worked food service).

which reminds me that a country club software package I once bought had a random lunch generator program buried in one of its program libraries.

Regrettably, you had to put the possible restaurants into a lookup table, so randomness couldn't really be achieved.

What's a "d10?"

But if, like Jim Macdonald, you're up around exit 18 on I-89, you should know that the Fort now has serious competition: The Farmer's Diner just opened in Quechee, Vermont, and it's worth the few extra miles if you've got a craving for bacon or sausage.

They buy much of their food from local farmers, and the breakfast menu is spectacularly good. They've got cream from Stratford Organic Creamery, bacon from local farmers, and french toast with real maple syrup. And their maple sausage should not be missed.

We got really lucky the other weekend--according to the waitress, the cook got bored and showed up at 4am to make old-fashioned cake donuts, soft on the inside and chewey on the outside. But even on a regular morning, they've got the best English muffins I've ever had in a diner.

With computers, you can have dice that have an arbitratry number of sides.

d100, or percentage dice, were around in the early Seventies that I know of. There's also something called an "Average Dice", which has the same average score as a d6, but has the sides numbered 2,3,3,4,4,5

The Dungeons and Dragons game popularised the basic d4, d6, d8, d10, d12, d20 set with what were pretty crudely-moulded dice. Which was perhaps why some other games settled on standard d6 or d10 pairs. These days, all these different types (and the tech to make them) is established enough that production quality isn't an issue.

which reminds me that a country club software package I once bought had a random lunch generator program buried in one of its program libraries.

Regrettably, you had to put the possible restaurants into a lookup table, so randomness couldn't really be achieved.

What's a "d10?"

That sounds like the sort of thing the programmer develops because he's bored waiting for specifications on some subsection, codes up in a day, then ends up as a 'feature' because someone figures out its there, and, well, why not?

A d10 is a polyhedral die used in many role-playing games - 10 sided solid marked "1" through "10" on its faces, to generate a random value between....

Example of a d10

Well, perhaps other donut shops in better parts of town didn't close, but the little corner donut shop within walking distance did. It was run by an Asian couple - Korean, maybe, a skinny silent man who made the donuts and a round gregarious woman who sold them. It was open from about 6 am until whenever the donuts ran out.

Louie's, on the other hand, was open 24-7. But they didn't do donuts.

There are basically three types - the ones marked 0 - 9 the ones marked 00 to 90 - for generating percentiles (throw two, read the two-digit as the 10s and the one-digit as 1s) and the ones marked 1 - 10 (or sometimes 1-(symbol) as with the various White Wolf dice - Vampire dice were green with a red rose symbol, etc.) which are straight 1-10.

Since all three are usually dumped into the same bin at most game stores, it usually doesn't matter which one you grab. They're also commonly used as life markers for various TCGs like Magic:The Gathering.

Scott Taylor = Old Skool Gaming Geek gone pro...

That said, I do love Harry's in Westboro, MA and have been eating there for 40+ years (it's in it's 60th year). It's still owned and run by the original family and has great onion rings (not that I should be wasting carbs on onion rings...) and fresh seafood for those interested in seafood. I almost always get a BLT. I work in a synagogue. Go figure.

On an absurdist note my partner and I were once in Illinois where I spotted a wooden highway sign for 'Mom's' or 'Ma's' Diner- Best Coffee for 100 Miles.'
Okay, I'm a sucker. Wooden sign, cartoon characters, paint peeling, looks like a sign Bonnie & Clyde might have driven past. 'Partner' says 'this is going to be a waste of time' but I could not be dissuaded. Images of prohibition gangsters with rolled up sleeves, suspenders, and fedoras danced in my head. After the 30 minute, out-of-our-way drive I waltzed inside to get the coffee to go. 'Best coffee for 100 miles'- Partner wouldn't go in due to moth phobia-
Went inside, saw the sizzling steaks, saw the flapjacks being flipped, saw the locals smoking away, got two coffees a tad suspicious of the thin, plastic translucent lid (always a sign to me of watery coffee) and yep. She was right. A waste of time. Watery dreck.
Being from Canada we like our coffee strong.
but a fun memory. I'm quite sure Ma Barker blasted some bullet holes in that sign.

That being said, I should put a word in for Mom's Triangle Inn in Belize City. Decent, inexpensive food (or it was 18 years ago).

Pro gaming geek? Elaborate a little (please).

The Anchor Grill in Covington, Kentucky is not perfect, but it has three redeeming qualities: 1) AFAIK, it is the only traditional 24-hour diner serving the entire Cincinnati metropolitan area*, 2) You can get fried goetta** with your eggs, and 3) it has one of the nation's few remaining Chicago Coin Band Boxes still in service (although the trombonist has long since been replaced by a Barbie™).

The post-war bleached wood paneling and faux-nautical decor has not changed since the place opened in 1949. Also unchanged since 1949 is the smoking policy and the plumbing and flooring in the restrooms. In theory, the waitresses call people "honey," but in practice, the waitresses are far too swamped and exhausted to say much.

* The downside to this is that the coveted 3:00-5:00 AM hours are dominated by Club Kids.

** Goetta, for those unfamiliar, is a German cousin to haggis, made from pigs instead of sheep. Or it's like scrapple, but made with oats. Forget Cincinnati chili; goetta is the true local food oddity.

I asked the developer of the software about that random restaurant program once; she explained that the programmers could never come to a consensus about where to go to lunch (it was a small shop -- maybe four people), so they wrote the program and (theoretically) agreed to abide by the results.

It wasn't transferable without new coding; all the restaurants were in Dallas, and I was installing the package in West LA.

* * *

Steve Jackson Games just accepted "The MacGuffin Alphabet" from me, so I suppose I've re-donned my Pro Gaming Geek title.

I have to recommend "Le Tub" on A1A along the Intracoastal Waterway in Hollywood, Fla. Not a diner, but definitely a unique eatery. Burgers, hotdogs, fries, fresh fish sandwiches, the best--the best--smoked fish dip in the world, a seafood salad that is beyond description. Also a bar with cold beer, etc.

The place was literally cobbled together from the remains of an old gas station/garage and a whole lot of driftwood, and is decorated (if you can call it that) with a plumbing theme. The kitchen has no refrigeration--everything is bought fresh that day, and kept on ice until it is cooked and served. When they run out of something, they run out. To call the parking lot "microscopic" is to make it sound larger than it really is.

The place is incredibly popular: there can be an hour wait for a table and then another hour or two to wait before the food arrives, since just one guy is doing all the cooking. (The willingness of many folks to wait so long is all the more impressive when you realize that the place is almost entirely outdoor seating only, and there is no air conditioning.) People who don't want to wait are free to leave, and the staff have a very casual attitude about it--after all, there are plenty more folks in line.

Le Tub really exists to serve the locals, and the owner is supremely indifferent to tourists and to the wiles of developers (thank God). A year or two ago, GQ Magazine "discovered" that Le Tub served the "best hamburger in America", and published the fact. What followed was hilarious. People showed up in three-piece suits, wanting to reserve (!) tables in the air-conditioning (!!) and pay with credit cards (!!!)--all this despite the numerous signs telling you that Le Tub is a cash-only establishment. The wait for a table grew to proportions unheard-of even for that restaurant, and the locals couldn't get near the place. Finally, the owner got so fed up he took the hamburger off the menu and refused to serve it until the hoo-ha died down. (It's back on the menu now.)

It used to be that you had to be a local, or know a local, to know the place even existed, and it is still hard to find--minimal signage, and you can drive right past it several times without seeing it--but it is definitely worth the hunt.

Been involved in tabletop RPGs since... well, a long time (I remember when the original Little Black Books edition of Traveller came out, and a time before the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons hardcovers existed - although only barely in both cases). I worked for a time for Paul Meyer (Crazy Egor), and have been a published RPG author for... umm... well, my first book published was the first or second released for Cyberpunk 2020 in the early 90s.

I've done a fair job supplementing my income with gaming supplements ever since. I don't have as many words under my belt as, say, Bruce Baugh, or Geoff Grabowski - but I've been at it a fair bit longer (just not as intensely, and with occasional breaks for sanity checks and "real" jobs).

I thought I'd finally removed the "Gamewriter" beanie a couple of years ago, but here I am in 2006 with a book on the shelves (Manual of Exalted Power:Dragon-Blooded, for White Wolf), a project in the works (which I can't talk about right atm), and bits and pieces of some PDF projects that will likely see release early in the next year, if I can find a good, cheap, artist or two to do the (scant) illos for them.

So while I might be a part-time freelance for hire, a profession it has been, of sorts.

She wouldn't have existed, in some way, without your game.

She wouldn't have existed, in some way, without your game.

Ack!

I don't want to give the impression that Cyberpunk (the RPG, not the genre) is my fault - far from it! CPunk (original, 2020 and v3) are all the brainchild of Mike Pondsmith - he just let me play in his backyard a few (well, maybe more than a few) times when he needed a writer.

(insert obligatory "All die. Oh, the embarrassment." story here).

I had a follow up to this, which I directed to your email (ROT-13'd here for further protection from the spam robots): vmmlybob ng znp qbg pbz

Making mention of it in case this is not an addr you use frequently...

Re: the new decor. I wish they hadn't installed the depressing overhead fluorescent lights or chosen aqua and white linoleum. But at least it's cleaner and more logically laid out now.

(note to self: get that "Don't worry, I'm not your biggest fan" T-shirt made up.)

i was in portland over the weekend for the stumptown comics festival, & went to a british pub where rarebit was on the menu... if i'd ordered it, i wouldn't have been able to tell you if it was good compared to other rarebit, but i didn't order it anyway. i was tempted, but eating the inspirartion for winsor mccay's pre-nemo strip didn't seem like a good enough reason for food selection. now i wish i had; i've never seen it on a menu anywhere else.

i don't remember the name of the pub, but it was in the hollywood district, near the hollywood theatre.