"Thr s n lmt t th gd y cn d f y dn't cr wh gts th crdt."

(Gnrl Grg C. Mrshll)

r, t lst, rlly, rlly, nnyng.

(Ys, t s dmn hrd t dsmvwl onslf whl tpng, sn't t? f crs, th whl d f dsmvwlng onslf s gggl-ndcng.)

Spkng prsnll, hvn't tndd t rmv pncttn. Th pr rdr nds vr vlbl hnt t dcd dsmvwlld txt.

d rmv y's whn thy srv s vwls rthr thn cnsnnts. Ths th "20.5* ltr kybrd (* nd smtms y)"

n dy pln t wrt th dfntv bk bt dsmvwllng, n whch wll "rdscvr" th tr rgns f th tchnqe. t wn't b bstsllr nlss ths rgns r lst, thgh.

Ys, bcs SCRTL wrt fr Tm mgzn, MWHHHHH! S 'm nvlvd n th cvrp.

nd snc n n cn rd dsmvwlld txt, m scrt s sf!

MWHHHHH, sy gn.

B hnst. Y jst md tht pst s y cld sy "MWHHHHH," ddn't y?

Gt t n n.

Nt tht, lthgh dffrnt vws n th sbjct f dsmvwllng r fn, y wll b RT-13'd f y gt rd, r tr t prs (yt gn) th spcfc mttr tht gt y s wrkd p lst tm.

N thrdjckng, pls.

nd yt dspt ths drdfl cnsrshp tchnq w r hvng ths cnvrstn. Prtt pr cnsrshp, thn.

W hv dscssd - xtnsvl - yr vws, nd y jst gt rdr nd ngrr vr tm. Y knw tht y'r nt prsdng nn hr. Wht, prcsl, r y trng t chv, thn?

Prsnll, lkd rdng yr cmmts whn y wr nt bng rd nd ngr ll th tm. Bt f ll y hv t sy ths dys s tht y fl y hv bn ll-sd (n nthr st, mnths g), thn myb t's tm t mv n.

n shrt, f y cn't b cvl, b bsnt. f y cn nvr b cvl, sty wy. 'll mss y, bt 'll mss th ld y.

Dn't wrr. W stll hv RT-13, bnnng, nd f crs th smpl frc f wrds. f thr wr nl n tl tht kpt th td f ncvlt bck, w wld b lrd lst.

n shrt, dn't lt t spl yr fn.

tng tng, wll wll bng bng ...

#18: Ae ou o e eaa? eau a ou ie ei aioa ae i aoi.

e e ae o e ooa a I i ea u eaue I a o a ooa.

Y?

Dn't y mn:
Frst thy cm fr m vwls...

Bng lttl vrl-drmtc, rn't w? Ths s wht mnt bt mssng th ld y, th slf-dprctng y, wth th sns f hmr.

Rmnd m gn hw ths s cnsrshp, snc w'r hvng ths cnvrstn?

n scnd tht, dn't bthr. Snc y cn't b cvl, g wy. Rll. Jst g wy ntl y r wllng t hv dcnt cnvrstn. t's bg ntrnt; fnd smwhr ls t ply.

Mst sy tht ths thrd s crtnly mkng m wrk hrd! Smwht wrrd tht f pst t mch hr, th hbt f wrtng wtht vwls wll stck wth m, wth cnsqncs fr my blty t d m jb...

F thngs d gt bnxs hr, prhps stbl pnshmnt cd b rnvwlng! Bat woth duffiront viwols? Thi ibjoctuve wauld bo nat ti miko thi uffindar onriadible, bot ti maku hum rodicelaus...

Wll, y'v mr thn usd p m ptnc, cmng n hr nd pssng ll vr an thrws plsnt nd fnn thrd. f y ct lk trll, nd tlk lk trll, y'r trll. Cngrtltns.

nyn wh wnts t rd wll's whnng cn rt-13 t.

o @34, zgga f ag pyieaff. g'f ay zgga.

w @34, x, x!

s fr rnvwlng? Th cmmnts, nd th rdnss bhnd thm, dn't nspr m t spnd tht knd f tm n t.

Ths thrd s ncrdbl strng. Srrl, vn.

t mks fr hck f chllng whn y trnscrb nms nt r t f t.

Hmmmm.....

YMNK!!

(Hmm, s t sr t tp wtht vwls, r tk thm t ftrwrd?)

While trolls can clear a room,
Kill a channel like a broom,
They're a vicious threat and menace
'Til disemvow'll'd!

Now every on-online forum is fraught
With censorship or gone to naught,
But with disemvow'lling present,
They're put to shame and heaped with blame--

Vowels for sale or rent,
Trolls to stomp with cement,
When they forfeit vowels,
We all have fun!

I was not able to do much better than

Spice, the finial furniture.

She thought of it and devised and implemented it, did it first, and demonstrated thereby how effective this tactic is.

Love, C.

ntrstng t cntmplt tht mny rly systms f wrtng jst rcrdd th cnsnntl ‘skltn’ f th wrds. Y cn mgn frm rdng ths cmmnts wht grnd fn ths gvs th ppl tryng t dcphr thm, lt ln wrk t wht th lngg snded lk.

Sm crrnt wrtng systms r smlr: rbc nd Hbrw ndct vwls wth mrks bv (nd blw?) th wrds.   thnk thr r thrs (KCML), nd bbrvtns ftn wrk th sm wy. D y thnk flnt rdrs f ths lnggs wld rd dsmvwlld txt rdly? Then there's the issue of Hawaiian …

Mtt #14 - TNH ftn wlds th 2x4 clstck, nd hs mny shrp blds, bth fn nd frt n hr rmry.   dmr th wy sh clls   spd   spd. Sh prbly kps shvls t dl wth sl r mnr n thr prpr wy, rthr thn fr sslt.

Mchl #16 -  'm crtn smn mntned   rmvwllr nrby rcntly. Lk spllchckr, t hd sggstd smthng msng fr n wrd.

Th thrd ws "Tm Ntcs Cmnts". Prhps w shld ct thm sm slck; thy'v nly knwn cmmnts xstd fr fw mnths.

We will always remember the /f/i/f/t/h/ third of November posting that started this thread, and when the time comes for the OED to add "disemvowel" we should be firm in reminding the Editors of its origin.

If there isn't computer software that will automatically disemvowel a passage of text, as there are to handle Pig-Latin and rot-13 (&cet.), Questions Should Be Asked. (We should not, however, expect software capable of re-emvowelling such eviscerated text. *sigh*)

hp tht smdy, dcds frm nw, smn stmbls crss ths pst nd rlzs tht dsmvwllng ws nvntd by smn, nd ss thr dscvry s n xmpl f th dngrs f prptl cpyrght.

ftrly rrttd dsmvw lthnr rngnf vchrc trgrp
ngsss trdtn lncry ptlks

I'd save that up for an extra special troll. H'mm, I guess I ought to write the Perl script.

> and even an auto re-emvoweller which finds an awful lot of words to be too uncertain to give you really useful results.

I do wish it was better at guessing - perhaps the next version of it will be - but just wanted to make sure you knew that clicking on the blue ("uncertain") words brings up a list of possibles. Still not as good as getting it right of course, but somewhat useful.

So Ken MacLeod was wrong when he predicted that if we ever get artificial intelligence, it will come from the fight between spammers and spam filters?

bbtt: Wll Cstll, 'm gng t Nw Yrk wth y. Y knw Bcky Hrrs, th Ynk's mngr, gv m jb s cch fr s lng s y'r n th tm.
Cstll: Lk bbtt, f y'r th cch, y mst knw ll th plyrs.
bbtt: crtnly d.
Cstll: Wll y knw 'v nvr mt th gys. S y'll hv t tll m thr nms, nd thn 'll knw wh's plyng n th tm.
bbtt: h, 'll tll y thr nms, bt y knw t sms t m thy gv ths bll plyrs nw--dys vry pclr nms.
Cstll: Y mn fnny nms?
bbtt: Strng nms, pt nms ... lk Dzzy Dn ...
Cstll: Hs brthr Dffy.
bbtt: Dffy Dn ...
Cstll: nd thr Frnch csn.
bbtt: Frnch?
Cstll: Gf.
bbtt: Gf Dn. Wll,lt's s, w hv n th bgs, Wh's n frst, Wht's n scnd, Dn't Knw s n thrd...
Cstll: Tht's wht wnt t fnd t.
bbtt: sy Wh's n frst, Wht's n scnd, Dn't Knw's n thrd.
Cstll: r y th mngr?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: Y gnn b th cch t?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: nd y dn't knw th fllws' nms?
bbtt: Wll shld.
Cstll: Wll thn wh's n frst?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: mn th fllw's nm.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy n frst.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th frst bsmn.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy plyng...
bbtt: Wh s n frst!
Cstll: 'm skng Y wh's n frst.
bbtt: Tht's th mn's nm.
Cstll: Tht's wh's nm?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: Wll g hd nd tll m.
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Tht's wh?
bbtt: Ys.
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, y gtt frst bsmn?
bbtt: Crtnly.
Cstll: Wh's plyng frst?
bbtt: Tht's rght.
Cstll: Whn y py ff th frst bsmn vry mnth, wh gts th mny?
bbtt: vry dllr f t.
Cstll: ll 'm tryng t fnd t s th fllw's nm n frst bs.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy tht gts...
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Wh gts th mny...
bbtt: H ds, vry dllr. Smtms hs wf cms dwn nd cllcts t.
Cstll: Whs wf?
bbtt: Ys.
[PS]
bbtt: Wht's wrng wth tht?
Cstll: Lk, ll wnn knw s whn y sgn p th frst bsmn, hw ds h sgn hs nm?
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Hw ds h sgn...
bbtt: Tht's hw h sgns t.
Cstll: Wh?
bbtt: Ys.
[PS]
Cstll: ll 'm tryng t fnd t s wht's th gy's nm n frst bs.
bbtt: N. Wht s n scnd bs.
Cstll: 'm nt skng y wh's n scnd.
bbtt: Wh's n frst.
Cstll: n bs t tm!
bbtt: Wll, dn't chng th plyrs rnd.
Cstll: 'm nt chngng nbdy!
bbtt: Tk t sy, bddy.
Cstll: 'm nly skng y, wh's th gy n frst bs?
bbtt: Tht's rght.
Cstll: k.
bbtt: ll rght.
[PS]
Cstll: Wht's th gy's nm n frst bs?
bbtt: N. Wht s n scnd.
Cstll: 'm nt skng y wh's n scnd.
bbtt: Wh's n frst.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt: H's n thrd, w'r nt tlkng bt hm.
Cstll: Nw hw dd gt n thrd bs?
bbtt: Why y mntnd hs nm.
Cstll: f mntnd th thrd bsmn's nm, wh dd sy s plyng thrd?
bbtt: N. Wh's plyng frst.
Cstll: Wht's n frst?
bbtt: Wht's n scnd.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt: H's n thrd.
Cstll: Thr g, bck n thrd gn!
[PS]
Cstll: Wld y jst sty n thrd bs nd dn't g ff t.
bbtt: ll rght, wht d y wnt t knw?
Cstll: Nw wh's plyng thrd bs?
bbtt: Why d y nsst n pttng Wh n thrd bs?
Cstll: Wht m pttng n thrd.
bbtt: N. Wht s n scnd.
Cstll: Y dn't wnt wh n scnd?
bbtt: Wh s n frst.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt & Cstll Tgthr:Thrd bs!
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, y gtt tfld?
bbtt: Sr.
Cstll: Th lft fldr's nm?
bbtt: Why.
Cstll: jst thght 'd sk y.
bbtt: Wll, jst thght 'd tll y.
Cstll: Thn tll m wh's plyng lft fld.
bbtt: Wh's plyng frst.
Cstll: 'm nt... sty t f th nfld! wnt t knw wht's th gy's nm n lft fld?
bbtt: N, Wht s n scnd.
Cstll: 'm nt skng y wh's n scnd.
bbtt: Wh's n frst!
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt & Cstll Tgthr: Thrd bs!
[PS]
Cstll: Th lft fldr's nm?
bbtt: Why.
Cstll: Bcs!
bbtt: h, h's cntrfld.
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, Y gtt ptchr n ths tm?
bbtt: Sr.
Cstll: Th ptchr's nm?
bbtt: Tmrrw.
Cstll: Y dn't wnt t tll m tdy?
bbtt: 'm tllng y nw.
Cstll: Thn g hd.
bbtt: Tmrrw!
Cstll: Wht tm?
bbtt: Wht tm wht?
Cstll: Wht tm tmrrw r y gnn tll m wh's ptchng?
bbtt: Nw lstn. Wh s nt ptchng.
Cstll: 'll brk yr rm, y sy wh's n frst! wnt t knw wht's th ptchr's nm?
bbtt: Wht's n scnd.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt & Cstll Tgthr: Thrd bs!
[PS]
Cstll: Gtt ctchr?
bbtt: Crtnly.
Cstll: Th ctchr's nm?
bbtt: Tdy.
Cstll: Tdy, nd tmrrw's ptchng.
bbtt: Nw y'v gt t.
Cstll: ll w gt s cpl f dys n th tm.
[PS]
Cstll: Y knw 'm ctchr t.
bbtt: S thy tll m.
Cstll: gt bhnd th plt t d sm fncy ctchng, Tmrrw's ptchng n my tm nd hvy httr gts p. Nw th hvy httr bnts th bll. Whn h bnts th bll, m, bng gd ctchr, 'm gnn thrw th gy t t frst bs. S pck p th bll nd thrw t t wh?
bbtt: Nw tht's th frst thng y'v sd rght.
Cstll: dn't vn knw wht 'm tlkng bt!
[PS]
bbtt: Tht's ll y hv t d.
Cstll: s t thrw th bll t frst bs.
bbtt: Ys!
Cstll: Nw wh's gt t?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, f thrw th bll t frst bs, smbdy's gtt gt t. Nw wh hs t?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: Wh?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: Ntrlly?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: S pck p th bll nd thrw t t Ntrlly.
bbtt: N y dn't, y thrw th bll t Wh.
Cstll: Ntrlly.
bbtt: Tht's dffrnt.
Cstll: Tht's wht sd.
bbtt: Y'r nt syng t...
Cstll: thrw th bll t Ntrlly.
bbtt: Y thrw t t Wh.
Cstll: Ntrlly.
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Tht's wht sd!
bbtt: Y sk m.
Cstll: thrw th bll t wh?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: Nw y sk m.
bbtt: Y thrw th bll t Wh?
Cstll: Ntrlly.
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Sm s y! Sm s Y! thrw th bll t wh. Whvr t s drps th bll nd th gy rns t scnd. Wh pcks p th bll nd thrws t t Wht. Wht thrws t t Dn't Knw. Dn't Knw thrws t bck t Tmrrw, Trpl ply. nthr gy gts p nd hts lng fly bll t Bcs. Why? dn't knw! H's n thrd nd dn't gv drn!
bbtt: Wht?
Cstll: sd dn't gv drn!
bbtt: h, tht's r shrtstp.

And "Why not buy a hippo?", a sensible question indeed.

Sorry, Teresa, that you didn't get due credit.

wnt hppptms fr Chrstms
nly hppptms wll d
N crcdls r rhncrss
nly wnt hppptmss

Because they're actually not the jolly fat people of the animal kingdom as wich they're usually presented, and are often very fierce and aggressive? Then again, that might make them a nicely deceptive addition to your evil lair:
"One more such thing, and I'll have you thrown to the hippos!"
" The hippos? Ha ha, that's a good one, what are they gonna... ... ...Arrrrrgh!"

Pndgn dsn't d t mch, thgh. Th sm t lk plyng trll hck bttr. Dff'rnt strks.

ls lk hw Brck bm's nm lks dsmvwlld. Jhn McCn's s mch lss sll.

Srg #69, j' vt jd drnr. (Hy -- dn't hv t wrry bt gndr n dsmvwlld Frnch!)

T qt Hlr Bllc:

"S tll yr pp whr th yk cn b bght
nd f h s wfll rch
H wll b y th crtr -- r ls h wll nt,
cnnt b pstv whch."

Sbsttt hpp fr yk n th prcdng pm.

N nd t nswr ths. dn't knw f 'll rtrn t ths thrd.

Mgnfcnt, bth th cntnt nd th frm (ccnts! n vwls, bt th ccnts rmn! *nts fr ftr*)

Brv!

Still, aa oo o e i i o i, as we say in the disemconsonanting world. Or to put it another way, o e e ue i ou o.

u i.

Are you sure you invented it? I recall some prior art*:

O, swear not by the oo, the inconsonated oo,
That monthly changes in its twofold orbs,
Lest that thy love prove likewise aiae.

Or maybe it's the product of too short sleep last night, watching the election from an inconvenient time zone.

----
* Crossthreads for extra points!

Perhaps Neil is confusing himself with... er... me.

I went into detail 6 months later.

(This thread is giving me a heaache so I'd better stop)

What's a heaache?

rthr lk th bscrtn f frst rt-13ng th txt, nd thn dsmvwlling. Lk s:

Cngvpx Pbrf @ 64

V ngur yvxr gr bfphngvb bs svfg bg-13vt gr grkg, nq gr qfzjyyvt. Yvxr fb:

nd thn cn rt-13 gn:

Patick Coes @ 64

I athe like te oscuatio of fist ot-13ig te text, ad te dsmwllig. Like so:

frthr dsmvwllng t tst:

Ptck Cs @ 64

th lk t sct f fst t-13g t txt, d t dsmwlg. Lk s:

disemvowelling.

It is sad to acknowledge, but just as Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California and Hawaii are part of the United States, though taken by force thy(?) wr (?), Tibet is part of China and will remain so at least until the centrol government of China is weak again, something that won't be true in our lifetime. Any group that suggests otherwise, and encourages young people to risk their lives to agitate for independence, is doing them a disservice.

But I still haven't figured out why that was considered worthy of disemvowelment. The answer could be in "thy wr". Anyone able to help me out?

Or perhaps Hamish was briefly Yoda.

-----
* Good Scots name that
† Like the people who scatter "thee" and "thou" randomly in texts, with no understanding of case, in order to sound Shakespearean.