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Normally, “fun” and “interesting” are the last words you’d use to describe a company that sells educational materials for Sunday School teachers, but it’s clear that Pick-Me Products is heavily invested in both those concepts.
I’m fairly amazed. The underlying message of traditional Sunday School lessons is, “You’re supposed to find this interesting — and if you were a good child, you would.” (Alternate translation: “Greetings, Captive Audience!”) Whereas on Pick-Me’s opening page there’s a crawl line announcing that the radio-controlled blimp is now available. Doubtless they have suggestions for lesson plans that will make good use of the blimp, much like the highly scientific rationale for NASA’s recent water balloon experiments.
I’m particularly smitten with the Fire Bible:
Open this authentic looking “bible” and watch the looks of amazement as flames begin to rise from the pages as you recite the scripture for the day. “Bible” comes with a battery operated ignition system, you supply the batteries and lighter fluid. Only $44.95.And they’ve definitely got the right sell line on the now-almost-common anatomically realistic brain and heart Jello molds: “Gross! Icky! And they will remember the lesson forever.” Which is true, especially if you follow their suggestions for using them. It would never have occurred to me to embed gummi worms in a Jello brain, but like a true daughter of Deseret I find the idea charming, and intend to try it someday.
The Gomorrah, A Nice Place to Visit Upon Bible is "authentic-looking?" So it's, what, a Revised Standard, or contains the Book of Tobit. or three random chapters from Sun-Tzu, or the Lineage of Gondor, or what? Just wondering. It actually sounds pretty cool (in a certain specific sense) and I hope Penn Jillette knows about it, because he probably wants several as gifts.
JMF, Chief Lexicognizant
Society for Creative Authenticity
What, you don't want one yourself? I know I do; it would be just the thing to swap for the real Bible when objectionable persons are about to be inaugurated.
And wouldn't it be fun when the Jehovah's Witnesses come calling? Much livelier than my current response when they ask me if I own a Bible, which is to raise one eyebrow and ask how many different translations they want. I don't actually own a scary number of translations, but they never ask to see them.
I expect "authentic-looking" means "the audience won't look closely at it beforehand." It can't be a real Bible; too close to sacrilege for the target market. Must be something else. The Koran plus the Book of Mormon wouldn't give you a the right length. Perhaps if you threw in The Book of the Law?
I don't own a flaming Bible, but I do have a radio-controlled blimp, and I can testify that it's a highly scientific educational type device, used for demonstrating Newton's Laws in class.
(I didn't buy it for educational reasons-- my sister got it for me for Christmas. This is (part of) what it means to be a physics professor-- you can be thirty, and still get toys for Christmas...)
I'd have to think harder to come up with an educational use for a flaming Bible. In physics, anyway-- I'm sure the Bio department could get some use out of it in classes talking about evolution...
My thought is "Massive Liability Suit", when the fuel leaks, ignites, and the little tykes get a demonstration of fire and brimstone they're not likely to forget.
But that's just me.
Der Deutsches Gottinhimmel-Seidank-und-Lufttransport pre4gt Ihnen, nicht der Flammenbibel im Nahe der Heiligsluftschiff zfcnden zu machen. Danke sehr.
Er, do not use the Flaming Bible in the Holy Airship?
I like the Gottinhimmel-Seidank-und-Lufttransport. You should save that one.
Personally, I think "Do not taunt Happy Fire Bible" would have been easier to type.
Now I know what I'm getting Dean Gahlon for Christmas (he collects Bibles, you see).
I need to look at this catalog. Do they have rubber inkpots? Dean thinks there's a market for rubber inkpots so kids (and others who are young at heart) can safely reenact the moment when Martin Luther threw an inkpot at the devil.
What Marty was originally said to have thrown at the bloke has been available in rubber facsimile for a long time.
I s'pose there are rubber inkwells, aren't there? Clearly I haven't been in the market.
I take some solace that I kept thinking "inkpot" rather than "inkwell" given how intensively I was taught everything about Martin Luther back in the day. I really want to forget more of it.
(Every single class I took in fifth grade at a certain Lutheran school was made to be somehow about Martin Luther in honor of some anniversary or another. Art projects relating to Luther. Our math word problems were related. Writing exercises. Choir. Everything. For. An. Entire. Year. Aieee!)
What did you do in PE? "Here I stand; I can do no other" is all very well as theology, but it's a lousy exercise program.
Someone, may as well be me, should bring Laurel's attention to the bobble-head Luther doll at http://www.oldlutheran.com/ which link was mailed to me by my Lutheran pastor friend when I sent him the flaming bible link that started this thread.
Teresa, I guess you were kidding when you said you couldn't invent jokes?
Teresa's remark made me giggle helplessly. I can't help but picture this game we used to play in gym class called "pin guard" which was like dodgeball except with a couple of plastic bowling pins standing up on each side of the gym that teammembers would try to shield to keep them from being knocked down (your team lost when both your pins were knocked down or all players were hit and eliminated). Oddly enough (considering there's nothing I hated more than being hit hard by a ball in a dodgeball situation), I'd often end up guarding the pin. I was good at somehow staying in front of the pin without getting hit (much). Now I'm just imagining my young self standing there and saying that.
I'm truly frightened by the Martin Luther bobbleheads, but of course I can think of people I know who really really need them (not me, though).
Oh my. They sell "Sin Boldly Lager" at that site, as well as coffee called "This is Most Certainly Brew.
My favorite "You Might Be A Lutheran If . . . " item is "You're watching Star Wars and when they say 'May the force be with you,' you reply 'and also with you.'"
Laurel writes:
My favorite "You Might Be A Lutheran If . . . " item is "You're watching Star Wars and when they say 'May the force be with you,' you reply 'and also with you.'"
I do that and I'm Catholic. (Haven't been to Mass in years but that's another part of the story...)
I used to teach CCD (religious ed. for public-school students, on Saturday morning in our parish) and would have been afraid to use the Fire Bible for my first-and-second-grade class. I could see it go over big in a high-school Confirmation class, though!
"We've secretly replaced these Gideon Bibles with Fire Bibles . . . "
This seems like a convenient place to hang a note pointing to Laurel's LiveJournal entries for folks who are her friends but don't stop by LJ often. Worth a look for her friends.
I really like the armadillo puppets.
http://www.letusteachkids.com/puppets/puppetarmadillo.htm
But anyway ... you know that Martin Luther knew Dr. Faustus? They were at Wittenburg together. I sometimes wonder if they were roommates. Or, did they have a suite with Hamlet and Horatio?