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Ever since I put together my list of weird classics of the ‘net, I’ve been bothered by a sense that there’s stuff I left out. I have now remembered one: Dogs in Elk. It was a thread that ran in Salon’s “Table Talk” for several days in September 1999, and primarily consisted of Anne Verchick’s ongoing reports concerning her two dogs and an elk carcass.
Here’s Anne Verchick, confirming that yes, this really did happen, and giving a little more background on the story. And here’s the famous thread itself, now enshrined in a nicely designed web page called Dogs in Elk in Vegetables: A Halloween Tribute. It’s been illustrated with pictures of a pumpkin carved into a splatterpunk ribcage plus two small dog-fetish figures. The entire setpiece plus the surrounding area is lavishly spattered with pumpkin innards, tomato sauce, and port wine. The overall effect, says Anne Verchick, is “… on a smaller, more vegetative scale, really pretty faithful to what was one of the messier experiences of my recent life.”
(I’ll add “Dogs in Elk” to the weird classics list, in case anyone ever looks at it in my archives.)
both my roommates and i actually laughed so hard at this, that we all CRIED. and then, i started laughing again just thinking about it, and laughed so hard, i threw up. seriously.
thank you.
i think.
You deeply evil woman. I'd read this story before and it still made me laugh so hard I wet my pants. You owe me a new pair of underwear.
MKK
Oh, man. I've never seen this on the net before, and I have to say, just reading the title didn't lead me to believe that it would be all *that* funny. And then I actually read it, and yes, it really is that funny. It's just... wow. I'm speechless.
("I think that the hose mostly helps keep them cool and dislodges little moist snacks for them. hose failed.
My new hope is that if they all continue to eat at this rate, they will be finished before the houseguests arrive.")
That was how I reacted the first time I read it, aside from the part about the bodily fluids. (Actually, come to think of it, I laughed so hard I was crying.) The only other things I can think of right off hand that have made me laugh that hard are Noises Off, "Ask Dr. Mike", Richard Brautigan's "The Revenge of the Lawn", and Jon Singer reading aloud from Thomas Pynchon and R. L. Fanthorpe.