Like McGonagall, only without the rhymes
Posted by Teresa at 01:12 PM *

AgriBiz Poetry, Consumer Specialty Produce Marketer, offers a unique service: the composition of what the site calls “relevant poetic materials about the products.” I think this is a case of selling what you already do, because the proprietor, Joseph J. Charles, has an evident passion for his subject. Consider his eponymous poem about the Flame Seedless Grape:

Flame Seedless Grape Oh, such Summer delights we often take for granted!
Only in the Central San Joaquin Valley & Napa Valley, CA
Can one find such a bounty of fruits!
Or is it time to show gratitude
The hands that till the soil and prune the vines
To the man who developed this crisp, red grape
From all the corners of the USA and the world
We, table grape lovers, pay tribute
To late John Weinberger, a U.S. agriculture Department plant Scientist
When we bite into a peach, plum, nectarine, apricots
And grapes, we are the beneficiaries
Of his many hours of research and dedication
For he bred and released 37 varieties of them
No other sentiments are greater than aiming at a bowl
Of the Flame on the table near the swimming pool
The taste of the chlorinated water is soon washed away
Fresh and bright, these berries pop up and dilute in your mouth
Great for snack, they find their way in fruit salads
Oh Flame Seedless Grape, may you continue
To fight for your place in the heart of table grape lovers
May grape growers become wise enough to continue
Planting and nurturing its vines
In my own heart, Thompson Seedless may have to
Watch out because Flame may supplant its position some day

The odd thing is that with his enthusiasm, his cataloguing impulse, and his desire to include as much useful information as possible, J. J. Charles manages to strike once-popular poetic notes not often heard this side of the Eighteenth Century, unless you count later anomalies like James McIntyre’s cheese poems and the works of McGonagall.