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The best ones always leave me speechless. Just go look.
But wait! There’s more.
(via Boing Boing)
The disclaimer that "This Ticket is not meant to mock or replace the need or desire to practice a given religion or faith" almost makes it sound like parody religious tat. It's a testament to the humor-deficiency of most of the people that make this crap that I'm really not sure one way or the other...
That is absolutely disgusting. Thanks for sharing. :)
To me the disclaimer says,"Why no, we're not selling indulgances."
Teresa,
do you have a standard google search for these things? I want to make sure I never use that particular word combination!
EEEK!
Ah yes, the joys of indulgentia a culpa et a poena have finally been admitted to the Protestant arsenal.
If only Chaucer were alive today . . .
Finally, someting that compares to WWJD boxer shorts, the Moses Nutcracker, Religious Experience Hot Sauce, and the Boy Jesus and his Dog. (All courtesy of Ship of Fools.)
Prove you are saved for only $19.95 - I don't know why they didn't lead with that. I mean, this whole 'international registry' thing, that sounds suspicious to me... mark of the beast?
What. are. they. thinking?
I mean the people who buy this crap (assuming anyone does). The people who sell it are obviously thinking "here's a way to make a buck off stooopid people."
Something big coming in June or sometime maybe...
http://www.freeticket2heaven.com/
So, with that Stairway to Heaven do you no longer need a Ticket To Ride?
Wow, that's almost as good as the glittery lighter my mother has that says, "Angle of Mercy, Protect Me." When she saw it, she didn't even notice the typo -- she just bought it because she loves tacky religious crap, but we all agree that the "Angle Of Mercy" bit just makes it.
Mom's been known to use this lighter to light Shabbat candles. Because, y'know, it's a way to welcome the Angles of Shabbat. Which, we figure, are about 34.23 degrees and 140.2 degrees.
*ROTFL at the angles!*
That is. Yes. That's ... marvelous, in a really distressing sort of way.
As a craft-dabbler and the daughter of a craft-dabbler, all I can say is: I could make one just as nice for 50 cents.
Damn. Too bad I didn't think of that first.
I suppose there's still an opening for a "Ticket to Hell".
> Damn. Too bad I didn't think of that first.
> I suppose there's still an opening for a
> "Ticket to Hell".
My thoughts exactly , but no - the url is taken. Gotta move fast these days.
And there's probably no real market for ticket2purgatory.com
In the same vein, the "Get Out of Hell Free" card available at This is True. I keep a stash handy to pass out to people who have become, or are thinking of becoming convention chairs.
Oh bloody hell, I screwed up the markup in that comment.
Where's my "Get Out of Parser Error Free" card?
Given my degree of apostasy, I don't think a ticket will do it. Do they have Commuter Flash Passes?
Ian, that's wonderful. Also, it explains some of the weirder trig functions that have puzzled me since high school; now I finally know what they're for.
They're for Arc-angles, of course.
Ter said, "So, with that Stairway to Heaven do you no longer need a Ticket To Ride?"
Graham Parker, "The Up Escalator"
I get a "The Page Cannot Be Displayed" message on both links.
Perhaps they're closed for Easter?
Yeah, I'm getting 'dunno what page you're looking for but we can't find it' messages too.
I once saw a very badly done copy of Hamlet in which Horatio mourned, 'and flights of angles sing thee to thy rest.' The mathematicians down the hall loved it, but the rest of the English department was sceptical.
". . . flights of Angles sing thee to thy rest."
"Mr. Horatio, sir, the guys on the battlements report Saxon paratroops."
"...that your name is a registered holder of a ticket to heaven and has made a commitment...that ultimately rewards me with a place in heaven"
Blasphemous AND illiterate!
If that Rapture thing comes earlier than 4 to 6 weeks, will your PayPal receipt get you through?
You know, when I sell on eBay the standard domestic shipping and handling is only $4.00, and even Priority Mail costs me less than that. Shucks, Global Priority is only $9.00, not $9.95. But I guess salvation is extra.
Martin: you're one to be complaining. Besides, you're dead, and that other guy gets to reanimate on Easter Sunday. :) <-- big, pointy, tounge in cheek indicator.
"If that Rapture thing comes earlier than 4 to 6 weeks, will your PayPal receipt get you through?"
Only if you ordered an e-ticket to heaven and have proper ID.
* * *
The whole ticket to heaven deal is really old. Turn of the last century, even. Evengelists sold maps and timetables of railway lines (curvey ones with stations like Drunkard and Envy, straight ones with stations like Chastity and with a big cross at the end) and tickets as well.
John M. Ford: The flash passes would be for people expecting to use it more than once. Hindus, for example.
Teresa: I can see how you'd be speechless. Projectile vomiting does that to a person. Well, ok, not really; but I did distinctly feel my gorge rise and if I'd eaten anything yet...
MKK
It's a rip off. I'll sell anyone a ticket for $5.00, and throw in the shipping. And $8.00 will buy you a ticket annointed with a dab of Crisco (while supply lasts).
I am reminded of Gregory the Great, who walked into a square in Rome and said "Ey up, lads, we've got some right Angles here."