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May 8, 2003

Make your own Golem
Posted by Teresa at 06:03 PM *

As Janna said, the best how-to sites surface when you least expect them. I’m not even going to ask what she was looking for when she found a site on How to Create a Golem in the comfort of your own home.

It’s all very practical. Here’s a bit from the site’s FAQ:
What happens if I do something wrong?

Theory suggests that if something goes wrong during the initial creation process of the golem you will need to restart the process from the very beginning. It should have no immediate adverse effects.

If something goes wrong after the golem has been created, and the golem begins destroying the village, it is possible to destroy it:
If you created the golem by writing EMETH on it’s forehead, erase the first E, causing it to read METH or “death”.

If you created it by placing the name of God in its mouth, remove the parchment.

If you recited the words of creation: “if one wants to return [the golem] to the dust, one should [recite the sequence in] the opposite order” —Eleazor of Worms

I’ve followed all of the directions correctly but it still won’t work. What did I do wrong?

Golem creation is generally reserved for those learned wise men, like Rabbis or Zaddiks, who have dedicated their life to God and the Torah. Those Rabbis who have been attributed with golem creation are considered to be very holy and spiritual. If you can’t successfully create the golem, either you have made a slight mistake in pronounciation or you have not achieved the proper state of holiness.

Will the golem kill me?

This is entirely within the realm of possibility. Golems seem more uncontrollable the longer they have been in existence. Thus, the longer you use the golem, the more likely it will rampage.

Can my golem be tried as an adult?

Contact your local authorities for the laws concerning golems. You may be considered liable for any destruction of property caused by the golem should you lose control of it at any point.
If any of you try this, let me know how it works. (via Janna Silverstein)
Comments on Make your own Golem:
#1 ::: John M. Ford ::: (view all by) ::: May 08, 2003, 11:50 PM:

One of these days I will finish the tale (originally intended for the GURPS Discworld book) of Rabbi Wol the dyslexic golem manufacturer. For reasons which will be obvious to the golem cognoscenti, his products didn't work very well, but they were very nicely sculpted, and acquired a certain cachet as garden sculpture. THEME was a very popular one, MEETH being a close second

#2 ::: Avram ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 02:19 AM:

I strongly suspect that Janna and I have a mailing list in common, for I sent that link in just yesterday. It can be got by googling for "golem gollum".

#3 ::: Dorothy Rothschild ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 05:14 AM:

Ooh, a project to do after I finish my thesis!

#4 ::: Jon ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 09:31 AM:

Oh, good. A way to get something that can mow the lawn for me.

Do you think an art supply store will have 200lbs of purified clay? Hmm. Better go to Costco.

#5 ::: Bruce Arthurs ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 09:53 AM:

"What happens if I do something wrong?"

"I've followed all the directions correctly but it still won't work. What did I do wrong?"

"Will the golem kill me?"

"Can my golem be tried as an adult?"

Gosh, this sounds just like raising kids.

#6 ::: John M. Ford ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 10:37 AM:

> Gosh, this sounds just like raising kids.

True, but if the Israelites had not mastered the potty-training, there would be no Pyramids today.

Next, what happens when your Honda ASIMO has just watched -Cog- for the hundred-and-first time, and wants to know where little Accords come from.

#7 ::: sennoma ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 11:18 AM:

I love the web. Oh, how I love the web!

#8 ::: lnh ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 12:49 PM:

I like the last Q in the FAQ.

---L.

#9 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 02:06 PM:

There's this guy Art Clokey who has figured out a way of creating small, friendly golems from plasticine. Too little to do useful work, although they've found employment in the entertainment industry.

#10 ::: Jon H ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 06:18 PM:

Another Jon writes: "Do you think an art supply store will have 200lbs of purified clay? Hmm. Better go to Costco."

You might want to start small, with more of a homunculus than a full-size golem. 5 pound bags of clay are cheap.
Might make it tricky to get hold of him if you need to erase the e in emeth.

I wonder if you could use polymer clay, for a more colorful golem? (Imagine a millefiori golem, 300 pounds of unstoppable force covered in a nice daisy pattern.)

Or the polymer clay-like material which contains silver; when you fire it, the binder goes away, leaving only the silver.

#11 ::: John M. Ford ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 08:44 PM:

I can recall a role-playing fad some years ago for golems made with the ancient scriptures in one hand and the rubber bible in the other. The best (which I believe showed up in Lee Gold's A&E) was a sodium model that Evil Mr. Wizard kept in a glass tank of mineral oil. Invading gangs of player characters would inevitably smash the tank, allowing the "water" to drain away. The place was, of course, liberally supplied with buckets of actual water readily to hand. Heh heh heh, as we were all taught to say in Evil Chemistry class.

#12 ::: Jon ::: (view all by) ::: May 09, 2003, 09:53 PM:

You're probably right, Jon H., but I always thought Avram Davidson had the right idea when it came to golems. Besides homunculi might be at risk from our cats (altho' they could probably hide among the action figures).

#13 ::: Avram ::: (view all by) ::: May 10, 2003, 05:28 AM:

We have all read Ted Chiang's "72 Letters", haven't we?

#14 ::: Yonmei ::: (view all by) ::: May 10, 2003, 06:55 AM:

No.

#15 ::: John Isbell ::: (view all by) ::: May 10, 2003, 05:29 PM:

I've created a Golem, but all he does is sit in the White House directing policy. What should I do?

#16 ::: Jon ::: (view all by) ::: May 10, 2003, 08:11 PM:

Avram: Also no (yeah, yeah, I know...)

#17 ::: YAHrah dahVAH, W.C.W.P. ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2003, 05:50 PM:

Making golems or homonculus...ect., seem GOTHIC to Me. It not something Sumer-Hebrews or those whom follows the teachings, of the Sumer-Hebrews Kings and Prophets, should be doing.

Exodus 19:21 or vice versa, states "suffer not for a witch to live." Witchcraft, is PROHIBITED, by the DEVINE LAWS, of YAHVAH-ALLAHA.
Anyone engaging in sorcery, should be PUT TO DEATH !!!

I feel very strongly, that, there's a great different betwixt the American Jew culture and The Sumer-Hebrews, of the biblical days.

Thank you,

YAHrah dahVAH, W.C.W.P.
salvation20@yahoo.com
son_of_kingdavid@yahoo.com
10-28-03 Tues. 17:45GMT

#18 ::: Tina ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2003, 06:27 PM:

YHGMTPO"ML". HTH. HAND.

#19 ::: klw ::: (view all by) ::: December 26, 2003, 04:08 PM:

How do you distinguish between this (golem making) and sorcery, a pursuit which is heavily denounced in both the Old and New Testaments? It seems this phenomenon is either some innate ability of the human being, or it is made possible from some external entities/powers that must be evil and impure if it is so forbidden. There was a recent story of Egyptian funerary figures known as shabtis in the Bergen museum 'moving' of their own accord. These can be seen as basically the Egyptian version of a golem. They were inscribed with "spell" number 6 from the Egyptian Book of the Dead that basically said if work was required of the deceased in the land of the dead, that this shabti should take the deceased place. And there is the well documented "Conjuring up Philip" phenomenon, where a group of parapsychologist types got together and invented a ghost. After a few months of trying to contact this invented ghost, they apparently succeeded. The table moved and rapped in response to their questioning. Since it was focused on the table it seems the table became a golem at the prompting of their collective Willpower. The Egyptians and these parapsychologists would not be considered as having the blessings of the Judeo/Christian G-d. Yet they seem to have had success creating golems as well, are they now sorcerers and damned? Or are they still just exercising an innate human ability that is morally neutral?

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