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October 16, 2003

Mormonism: The Gathering
Posted by Teresa at 06:42 PM *

Sample cards and everything:

Urim and Thummim

4: Take a piece of paper and crayons. Design your own card, using archaic pronouns in the text. Put this card into your hand.

“And it came to pass…”

Such joy.
Comments on Mormonism: The Gathering:
#1 ::: Avram ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 12:56 AM:

I suggested one that would actually be a plausible Magic card.

#2 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:05 AM:

What's frightening about this is that most of the cards are actually playable, and not too unbalanced....

Took several tries to actually get through. You're challenging their bandwidth.

Cheers,
Tom

#3 ::: Kevin J. Maroney ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:15 AM:

Wow. I wonder how many people there are in the world who can get all of the jokes on that page. A lot of thought went into that.

#4 ::: Kevin Andrew Murphy ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:33 AM:

I second Avram's suggestion of an extra card.

I'm also thinking of regular Magic cards I have that could be used to make a Mormon theme deck. Naturals are the Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale and the Farelite Priest (who gets your white's whiter).

There should also be an instant card called "Convenient Revelation" that would allow you to change color, land or creature descriptors, sort of a combo of slight of mind and magical hack. Likely something like three blue mana and you get to change one of each, or even remove them.

No, that's not "White and delightful!" it's "Pure and delightful!"

#5 ::: Dylan O'Donnell ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 11:06 AM:

Tangentially related, a variant of the boardgame "The Settlers of Catan" was recently published, called The Settlers of Zarahemla.

#6 ::: PiscusFiche ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 11:23 AM:

I was going to send you that, Teresa. Really.

My favourite is the one about the Holy Undergarments shielding you from Logic and Reason.

Avram: I like yours too. :)

#7 ::: PiscusFiche ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 11:29 AM:

Off-subject to Avram: Hey, I just noticed that you and I have some LJ friends in common, notably Faith (Smuu) of Demonology 101. Whacky. I love how small the internet seems at times. (And, hey, Teresa, you have a LJ account?)

#8 ::: Eloise Mason ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 12:02 PM:

Looking at the Settlers website, it doesn't seem to have separate hexes, instead having three strips of hexes attached together. This will lower the replay value, methinks, as you don't get a fresh layout each time.

Also, they replaced 'sheep' with 'water' - I'm not sure if this changes what things cost to build. The 'knights' are 'stripling warriors,' and all the victory point cards are odd (i.e. not buildings, mostly).

They claim that soon you'll be able to read the rules on their website as a PDF.

#9 ::: LNHammer ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 12:33 PM:

I confess I don't get nearly as many of the jokes as I do in the Lord of the Rings Board Game.

---L.

#10 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 01:36 PM:

Brilliant, Avram.

Elizabeth, what hit me hardest were the F.A.R.M.S. art and the tapir. This is seriously inside baseball, and I love it.

I'm surprised that none of them used the Deseret Alphabet, the Liahona, senines/senums/shiblons, or the Planet Kolob. And don't they need a United Order card that forces all the players to redistribute their cards evenly?

Kevin, I'd spec the Convenient Revelation card as allowing you to change one word. That'll encourage ingenuity.

Eloise, I theorize that the victory points are odd because they're tied to the values of Nephite currency.

#11 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 01:47 PM:

Here's one way to understand F.A.R.M.S., and the Pre-Columbian horse that looks just like a tapir.

#12 ::: PiscusFiche ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:01 PM:

T: The guy who made them is thinking about making some new cards based on the suggestions in this thread. (I poked him earlier and showed him your link.)

Ugh. The FARMS rationalisations about language make my head hurt. I guess Occam's razor only applies when it's useful to their cause. This also doesn't explain words like "rameuptom" where clearly a word and a concept we didn't have in the Old World exist in terms of BoM.

(Ditto for "Curelom".)

#13 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:10 PM:

The site is slashdotted. Who knew Teresa has such a large audience :-)

#14 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:27 PM:

I was just about to mention the curelom. Somebody ought to use that word to name a new animal.

#15 ::: Kevin Andrew Murphy ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:29 PM:

Teresa,

You're right. One word:

Convenient Revelation
Instant
Blue/White

Change one word of text in any card.

"That's not 'White and delightful!' it's 'Pure and delightful!'"

#16 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:45 PM:

And now, from the Latter-Day Lampoon:

Tapir-Back Riders
Tune: "Paperback Writer"

Dear Sir or Madam will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Joe
And the main idea is the Lamanites were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

See, the Nephites came to the promised land
And those damn exmos just don't understand
That when they said "horse" they meant something else
But it all makes sense if you know that they were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

I know the whole thing doesn't hold up well
If you take it literally, but what the hell
There’s this group of guys that work at FARMS
And they can save the whole thing by postulating
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders ...

#17 ::: Eloise Mason ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 02:49 PM:

*laugh until I squeak*

#18 ::: Kevin Andrew Murphy ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 03:38 PM:

You know, fantasy novels have come up with all sorts of whacky things to ride, but tapirs are hardly one of them.

I decided to see if I could find any pictures of a "riding tapir." This is what I found:

http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/loth/u/r/ursula/tribaltapir.jpg.html

I guess when JS meant something else by "horse" he also meant something else by "riding."

Another Convenient Revelation....

#19 ::: Adrian ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 03:45 PM:

Kevin,

Riding a tapir (in either sense of "riding") would seem to have very little to do with convenience. Does this game have formal
disadvantages, like Champions or GURPS? So you could draw "Inconvenient Revelation?"

#20 ::: Adrian ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 03:45 PM:

Kevin,

Riding a tapir (in either sense of "riding") would seem to have very little to do with convenience. Does this game have formal
disadvantages, like Champions or GURPS? So you could draw "Inconvenient Revelation?"

#21 ::: Skwid ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 03:47 PM:

Yo! Work un-safe warning would be nice!

Yiminy...

#22 ::: Kevin Andrew Murphy ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 03:48 PM:

And here's everything you ever wanted to know about the curelom, including a poem.

#23 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: October 17, 2003, 04:00 PM:

Curelom (tm): Dow Chemicals' exciting new artificial leather.

#24 ::: Eloise Mason ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2003, 09:10 AM:

So now we can add cureloms to the poor oppressed naugas when we picket?

#25 ::: Bill Shunn ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2003, 03:01 PM:

"Tapir-Back Rider" is brilliant, and sounds suspiciously like the work of an SF fan and exmo who used to contribute parody lyrics to my web site. For instance, this tune, "The Famous Dr. Hugh."

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