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November 19, 2003

Oh lord
Posted by Teresa at 07:06 AM *

Right now, and for the next two days, there’s someone on eBay selling a full set of Mormon temple clothing. This isn’t the sacred long underwear that endowed Mormons are supposed to wear under their everyday clothing. Rather, it’s a full set of the men’s outerwear that’s worn during temple ceremonies.

If you’re curious, that is.

Thanks to Elizabeth Mitchell for sending me the link.

Comments on Oh lord:
#1 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 09:52 AM:

When I got free of the Southern Baptists in college (had been born again, then thought it through.... asked questions the preachers couldn't answer, and said, "enough!") I thought they were pretty wierd. Geeze, I couldn't have been more wrong.

I've bookmarked the link to "worn" for further exploration later, I have a 10 a.m. meeting I need to get out of here for.

Thanks for enlightening us never-been-Mormons (here in the light and fullness of the Reformed Church of the Latter Day Saints or the Community of Christ as they have now decided to call themselves - Actually not KC but Independence, MO).

#2 ::: Skwid ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 09:58 AM:

Wow. Love that "fig leaf" thing they got goin' on there. Very, um...Woody Alan-esque.

#3 ::: John SMith ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 10:11 AM:

Jews wear funny lothing too. And Muslims. And sometimes Catholics. Ashcroft should do something about this. In order to keep us safe.

#4 ::: kevin d. white ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 11:00 AM:

You think that clothing is weird? You should try drinking the 3.2 stout they try to force on us heathens. That's weird.

And the mustard sucks.

#5 ::: Jaquandor ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 11:19 AM:

Here's a really good photo of the "sacred underwear". (By "really good", I mean....um, er....never mind.)

#6 ::: PiscusFiche ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 11:22 AM:

I forgot to mention that I always was a little worried at God's taste in fashion and architecture.

I suggested to my never-Mo boyfriend that it might be fun to have a flash mob assemble in the SLC cemetery and run amok in temple clothes, but he didn't seem to quite appreciate the nuances of the idea the way I did.

#7 ::: kevin d. white ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 11:41 AM:

Gathering in the downtown Main Street square would be rather more fun. Everyone could take the train.

#8 ::: PiscusFiche ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 11:45 AM:

You'd definitely get more exposure on Main Street, but in the cemetery, you'd have people doing double takes, wondering if the faithful were being called from the grave.


#9 ::: kevin d. white ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 12:00 PM:

But my idea aids the Main Street revitalization effort. Rocky would like that. Provide an open bar and you could probably get him to address the mob.

#10 ::: Robert L ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 12:07 PM:

Wow! Only $150 (so far)! that would solve the problem of what to wear next Halloween...but it probably doesn't fit me. I guess you have to custom order it beforehand, right? Which means there must be a whole tailor shop that specializes in the "garments." And there must be a really big demand for the undergarments. Is there like a Gap for Mormons. Or is Wal-mart selling them at a discount and driving out the Mom & Pop garment stores (or Mom & Mom & Mom & Mom & Mom & Pop for the unreconstructed ones)? Are they made in the U.S.A., or (young, idealistic Mormons should check this out) are they made by sweatshops in Cambodia or Guatemala where the workers make 50a2 a day and don't get enough bathroom breaks?

#11 ::: PiscusFiche ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 12:24 PM:

Gap for Mormons = Beehive Clothing Distribution Centers

But if you're really heading for the upper middle class, you can hit up Latter Day Creations.

As for who makes them, I think they are made by church-employed members at a special clothing mill.

#12 ::: Jeremy Leader ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 12:56 PM:

So in those eBay pictures, how come the pants don't lie flat? What's up with the bulge under the apron, anyway?

#13 ::: clark e myers ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 01:05 PM:

Flash crowd in the cemetary with the Scoobie Gang from Buffy - You call that a Stake?

#14 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 02:20 PM:

Flash mob, SLC cemetery, participants running amok in temple clothes: I got it immediately. You're going to have people wondering whether the End Times started without them noticing it.

It'd be cooler if they were wearing the older-style garmies, but you can't have everything.

#15 ::: John M. Ford ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 03:12 PM:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
Some Saintly P.J.s
I can't wear this T-shirt
At the End of Days
I'll pay any price, but
I ain't got eBay's
Oh Lord, won't you buy me
Some Saintly P.J.s

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
Those I've left behind
I'm sure my precursors
Were all sweet and kind
I've got every name here
That Google can find
Oh Lord, won't you buy me
Those I've left behind

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
A place in the Host
I don't need a star, Lord,
A big moon at most
To jam with yourself and
The Kid and the Ghost
Oh Lord, won't you buy me
A place in the Host

#16 ::: Carlos ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 03:47 PM:

The New York Jets professional chef outfit.

I'm sure it's crossed Steve Young's mind once or twice.

C.

#17 ::: T.L. Hines ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 06:02 PM:

When I lived in Utah, we non-LDS folk referred to garments as "Joseph Jammies."

#18 ::: davey ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2003, 10:28 PM:

Mike, you just wait till the next Minicon music party...

#19 ::: Dan Layman-Kennedy ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2003, 08:56 AM:

So in those eBay pictures, how come the pants don't lie flat? What's up with the bulge under the apron, anyway?

Insert joke about "endowed Mormons" here.

See, this is why I'm a Unitarian. Not only are particular underthings not a requirement of membership, we also accept the possibility that there may be none at all.

#20 ::: Robert L ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2003, 11:55 AM:

Piscus: Wow, those Latter Day Creations are somethin' else. As a somewhat collector of odd ties, I'm tempted by the necktie with the Temple on it. (memo to David Hartwell:check it out.) And the blonde in the white gown, while no Claudia Schiffer, is a lot hotter than I'd expect from an LDS catalog. The prices are reasonable.
But why do they have to make everything out of polyester. I can't wear it (does bad things to my skin).

#21 ::: Kim ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2003, 03:32 PM:

I've heard garments referred to as "Jesus Jammies" - before I knew what they were, I thought they were PJs with pictures of Jesus on them!

#22 ::: SarahK ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2003, 02:10 PM:

John M. Ford, you are my new hero. Anything else I could have thought up to say has already been said (i'm up for the flash mob!) but I just wanted to make that clear.

#23 ::: M. Turyn ::: (view all by) ::: November 26, 2003, 03:49 PM:

For a glimpse of (what I guess are) the older undergarments, see "Plan 10 from Outer Space"...which also reveals the Secret of the Bees.

(It ends with someone making a full and complete records of the events on 5.25" floppies, and burying them in a hillside....)

#24 ::: Ricky ::: (view all by) ::: February 17, 2004, 06:18 PM:

It's always easy to make fun of people who take their religion seriously - I respect Mormons, although I don't think I could live a Mormon life. I don't understand why they are the constant victims of attack - can't people respect each other's beliefs and practices anymore? I have a few friends that are LDS here in Utah valley - they don't mock the faith of others. They have all expressed unhappiness with the recent bastardization of their sacred clothing.

#25 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: February 17, 2004, 07:53 PM:

Ricky, they're not the constant victims of attack, and it's just a mite self-congratulatory of them to think they are. The unfamiliar thing going on here is called "humor", and if there were more than half a dozen Mormon jokes total ("mo" jokes don't count, seeing as how they aren't funny), your friends might be better prepared to recognize this phenomenon.

(THE EXTANT JOKES:

1. Because they refused to help the seagulls.

2. Because that way they won't drink up all your beer.

3. The sister complaining to her shrink about the Sunbeams' misbehavior.

4. The bride's not pregnant, but her mother is.

5. Congratulations, you're the new Relief Society President.

6. One to screw in the lightbulb, and three to perform a proxy screwing-in on behalf of the lightbulb that was in that socket twenty years ago.)

Don't put it off until the last minute! Lay in a year's supply of humor today!

#26 ::: Patrick Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: February 17, 2004, 07:58 PM:

Ah yes, that Teresa, always "making fun of people who take their religion seriously."

This is the kind of keen insight that has made "Ricky" famous on the comment sections of a number of weblogs.

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