Back to previous post: Namarie Sue

Go to Making Light's front page.

Forward to next post: Snowday

Subscribe (via RSS) to this post's comment thread. (What does this mean? Here's a quick introduction.)

December 6, 2003

The 12 Days of Kitschmas
Posted by Teresa at 02:18 PM *

Ship of Fools’ “Gadgets for God” department has come out with its annual 12 Days of Kitschmas list. Sadly, none of the links I’ve sent them have made this year’s top twelve. But with a list as dazzling as they’ve put together, who cares?

If you want to read them in order, from the least to the most, um, gadgety, start with #12, the “Jesus Saves” sign for model railway layouts, then #11, the Frisbee of Faith, and work your way up to #1. The accompanying texts are, as ever, excellent.

Whoops, nearly forgot. The reason I was over at Ship of Fools was to check some links from my collection of favorite entries in their weekly caption competition.

The Bishop of Hereford meets a pig. Dubya meets the Pope. Beanie Bears’ church. The Vision Thing. Nuns with guns. More nuns with guns Even more nuns with guns. Confirmed by the Bishop of North Carolina. Blessing a horse. Base jumper. Salvation Army singles’ gathering. Skiffy bishops. Saint Dubya. Bouncing nuns. More bouncing nuns. Even more bouncing nuns. An Old Testament interaction. Amazing Grace.


Comments on The 12 Days of Kitschmas:
#1 ::: Faren Miller ::: (view all by) ::: December 06, 2003, 06:10 PM:

Funny!(in a ghastly/dismal kind of way). So, what links did YOU send them?

#2 ::: Skwid ::: (view all by) ::: December 06, 2003, 06:18 PM:

Holy SHIT, that's some funny stuff.

I'm reading in a library right now, and I couldn't help busting a gut. Particularly over the nail ornament. Awesome.

#3 ::: Trip ::: (view all by) ::: December 06, 2003, 07:23 PM:


#4 ::: thatwhichfalls ::: (view all by) ::: December 07, 2003, 03:24 AM:

Number 7. Flying cathedral:

Brilliant! Fill it with hydrogen, set it on fire - your very own Cathedral of the Pelerines for all your Severian role playing needs!

#5 ::: Steve Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: December 07, 2003, 08:42 AM:

I love 11/12 of them, but I think pretty much anything can be made into a gigantic baloon without being tasteless, because... oh, I don't know. Because it's a gigantic baloon. We need more of them.

#6 ::: India ::: (view all by) ::: December 07, 2003, 12:41 PM:

Thank you. I'm afraid the nail ornament was the only one to make me laugh out loud . . . but it was quite loudly.

Hmm. I think I need a big pile of those ashtrays.

#7 ::: nerdycellist ::: (view all by) ::: December 07, 2003, 02:40 PM:

Those are terribly funny. But I fail to see how a nail ornament or bleeding jesus tree-topper isn't completely sacreligious. The fact that the market for most of those objects is the faithful, and not those who would keep them around to mock, gives me pause.

We got a whole glossy, 4-color circular in last Sunday's newspaper for some Evangelical Store, which included Lord of The Kings t-shirts (done to look as close to LOTR as possible.) Gave me the willies.

#8 ::: Berni ::: (view all by) ::: December 07, 2003, 05:25 PM:

I was giggling over the caption contest. I just had received my "Nuns Having Fun" calendar for 2004. It has one of those "nuns with guns" photos (with the caption, "Pray for prey"). It also has nuns on roller skates, bowling, in bumper cars, etc.

I'd seen the 12 days of kitchmas entries on Amy Welborns's blog a few days ago. Considering how my brother has always complained about our family's always having a traditional dead fish on the tree (German blown glass, not real dead fish), the nail is mighty tempting. And I could get one of those ashtrays for my older sister.

#10 ::: Betsy ::: (view all by) ::: December 08, 2003, 11:48 AM:

They missed the 12-inch sitting pink Praying Poodle: "Squeeze the button in its left front paw and our pup's iridescent angel wings flap to the beautiful beat. It also nods its head and breaks into a sweetly stirring rendition of Yes Jesus Loves Me. But this pup isn't content with just singing. Squeeze the button again and it recites the timeless children's prayer, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, adding a final "I love you" at the end for all its sleepy-eyed little friends."

And then there are the Hannukah pet toys...

#11 ::: Mary Kay ::: (view all by) ::: December 08, 2003, 10:43 PM:

Hildegaard of Boingen.

Oh, oh, oh. Giggle. Titter. Snort. HAW HAW HAW. Ooops scaring the cats.


#12 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: December 08, 2003, 11:03 PM:

Betsy, that's awful.....I'm kind of a plushie nut, but that's just ... whatever.

Teresa, thanks, I sent links to the two things I found most ..... well most from the links, Skiffy bishops and the "Beanie Bears' Church. To family and a few friends who would appreciate it. After I finished ROFL.

#13 ::: BSD ::: (view all by) ::: December 09, 2003, 12:13 AM:

To be fair, there are some pretty noisome Channukah toys out there.

Though I'm still surprised there isn't a full line of full-violence Maccabee action figures...

#14 ::: Elise Matthesen ::: (view all by) ::: December 10, 2003, 01:22 PM:

The good and faithful pastor may look like JFK, but the Jesus Fairy looks like Charlie Manson. Though I guess one could do the whole tree as a theme tree.

Oh, great. A Charlie Manson Christmas. Ack. Now I have to go get that out of my head.

#15 ::: Tim Hall ::: (view all by) ::: December 11, 2003, 04:01 AM:

It doesn't say what scale the "Jesus Saves" billboard is in. Probably HO scale Us N scalers always get left out :)

OTOH, it would look out of place in either Cornwall or Switzerland.

#16 ::: Jon H ::: (view all by) ::: December 16, 2003, 07:40 PM:

Just heard "12 Days Of Kitschmas" mentioned on BBC World Service, including the frisbie, the cathedral, and the bobber.

As of this writing, didn't mention the name of the site. It was a lead-in to a story about Thai kitsch sales and a panel discussion about kitsch.

#17 ::: Jon H ::: (view all by) ::: December 16, 2003, 07:43 PM:

BTW, it's today's Outlook program, which will be available for a while at

Smaller type (our default)
Larger type
Even larger type, with serifs

Dire legal notice
Making Light copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 by Patrick & Teresa Nielsen Hayden. All rights reserved.