Paula Helm Murray sent me a link to the Bad Pets List, saying I should imagine that the entries are things your pet is being required to write 50 times on the blackboard. The cat and dog lists are of course extensive, but there are also lists for horses, guinea pigs, birds, bunnies, iguanas, and ferrets:
from The Bad Ferret List:
I will not steal a canister of raisins and eat till I get ill, then spend three days projectile-vomiting raisins at my humans.
I will not completely flatten myself so I can crawl underneath the bedroom door of the sleeping guest who is not fond of ferrets just so I can crawl into bed with her and lick her toes.
My human’s use of the Bad Ferret Squirt Bottle is supposed to annoy me, not be considered a new and exciting game.
It is impossible for me to steal the mouse. I will try to remember this, because my humans are never amused when they see me dangling from the edge of the computer desk.
There is nothing fun inside the printer.