The Orb circles around Teresa's head.

Posted March 19, 2004 8:57 PM by Jon Meltzer

Steve's, I think.

Steve, Mike: Liz has already mailed you some copies.

Posted March 19, 2004 9:03 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

I burn with envy.

But, the sooner you have them, the sooner I'll get them. Right?

Posted March 19, 2004 9:31 PM by Chelsea Polk

What, are you trying to get my head to explode?

Can I come over to your house? Now? I think there's a 10:30 pm shuttle; I can be in NY by 11:45...

No? Maybe you could FedEx it to me? Fax? Read it to me over the phone?

whimpers

Posted March 19, 2004 9:42 PM by Geoff Cohen

Yeargh! You...you...
Don't _do_ that to us!

Posted March 19, 2004 9:49 PM by Scifantasy

That would explain why I couldn't find it at Elliott Bay last weekend.

Posted March 19, 2004 9:52 PM by David Moles

Wow. That was a better gloat than any Bond villain ever had.

Posted March 19, 2004 9:55 PM by Josh Jasper

You have a wonderful job.

*bites lip with envy*

Posted March 19, 2004 10:06 PM by Vassilissa

That's a way better perk than a $6000 shower curtain.

Posted March 19, 2004 10:15 PM by Andy Perrin

Hey, _I_ was at Elliot Bay last weekend, too. And, come to think of it, I couldn't find it either!

It's a very small world, which is strange, because it SHOULD seem too large, seeing as there's a book sized empty space in it. The world that is. Not the strange. A book sized whole in the strange would be, well, strange.

At least now I know I will have new reading soon... soon... soon...

Posted March 19, 2004 10:15 PM by silversmoke

Hello Teresa,

I was sitting here wondering what business an editor at Tor has in lording it over a fan, any fan, with such unseemly revelry. It seems beneath you, both personally and professionally. —It is one thing to crack open a box of eagerly-awaited books in the privacy of your own office, before they are shipped, to take a moment to bask in the splendor of a job well done; it is another to giggle madly at the thought of how green one’s friends and acquaintances would turn if they knew what you held in your hands; and still quite another to dash over to your keyboard and stick up an intemperate post rubbing all those friendly, acquainted noses in it. I shan’t read the comments. I don’t want to see a pile-on. Perhaps the quality of the book has impaired your judgment?

In any case, an apology is in order to every human being who could possibly ever read this post, or a Steven Brust book, or who could ever demonstrate a manner in which they could, conceivably, have been or at some time in the future be harmed by such gloating -- or, at the very least, a creditable attempt at a chastened expression, with the snickers and “Na na na-na nas!” kept to an absolute minimum. I think you’re a fine, fine writer, which I say with no desire whatsoever for your Bud Light, since I can’t stand the stuff, but I also think you’re an influential editor, which I can tell because you get to see books before everyone else does, and that’s one of the things only an editor gets to do. Well, maybe also a marketing person. And the art director. And a printer or two, and probably one of those people who does something with the computers you have nowadays. I suppose the receptionist has a chance. Oh, and the author. The author gets to see it, too. And I bet they show it to a friend or two. But aside from that, you have no business lording it over those so much less fortunate than yourself.

Yours, etc. etc.

Posted March 19, 2004 10:22 PM by Kip Manley

Kip Manley has rendered me incapable of moving my extremities.

(This post is being entered via telekinesis. Also dolphins. Yeah, that's the ticket, dolphins.)

Posted March 19, 2004 10:31 PM by Patrick Nielsen Hayden

You can't see it Kip, but I am bowing to the monitor that displays your post. I am not worthy.

Posted March 19, 2004 10:40 PM by Claude Muncey

Personally, I revel in the exquisite sensation of antici ... pation at least as much as actual part-ici-pation.
Refused to watch available "Return of the Jedi" pirate tapes. Probly something to do with growing up with a several-months (if not a few years) delay for publishing or showing US or UK things in Australia. Theory: eat the nasty stuff on your plate first, so you can wash it away with the better, thus piquing your appetite for the best at last.

(Did go to dress rehearsal of the Sydney Olympics opening ceremony, but there were other reasons.)

Posted March 19, 2004 10:48 PM by Epacris

Kip Manley has rendered me incapable of moving my extremities.

Breathing, here. But only temporarily, or at least I hope so...

Choke. Gasp. Slump.

But seriously, what's Sethra Lavode? I can't very well turn green unless I know what I'm envying. I suspect this is bliss at the moment.

Posted March 19, 2004 11:46 PM by Xopher

But seriously, what's Sethra Lavode?

If I had to guess, I'd say it's a new Brust novel.

Posted March 20, 2004 12:10 AM by Ray Radlein

I have finished copies of Sethra Lavode and you don’t. Just thought I’d mention it.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's a new Brust novel.

Posted March 20, 2004 1:40 AM by Dan Blum

I hereby demonstrate my surperiority to you all be saying I really don't care. I promised Patrick I'd give Brust another chance, but I haven't got 'round to it yet. But in the past I have envied one or the other of them other titles, so.

MKK

Posted March 20, 2004 2:05 AM by Mary Kay

*LAUGH* Cruel! CRUEL WOMAN! *CRUEL*! *laugh*!

Kip: I bow in admiration. :)

Posted March 20, 2004 2:22 AM by Catie Murphy

I may be a little behind here, but wasn't it supposed to be called The Enchantress of Dzur Mountain? It just seems more consistent. Plus, I'd finally learn how to pronounce "Dzur".

Posted March 20, 2004 2:40 AM by cheem

Cheem, it's exactly that difficulty in pronunciation that led to the retitling of the book, under the rule which says that a title should be neither hard to pronounce nor embarrassing to say out loud.

How to say it: Notice that the "d" and "z" sounds are not that different in terms of how they're produced and where in your mouth you make them. Contrive a median position between them so that the sound you make comes out half one and half the other. Now stick "ur" onto the end of it.

Posted March 20, 2004 7:26 AM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

Teresa, does that mean there won't be a Dzur in the Vlad Taltos series? Because if I don't get all seventeen Cycle houses, I will not be a happy kid.

Posted March 20, 2004 8:31 AM by Mris

Now I know I'm weird. I never for a moment wondered how to pronounce Dzur. :P

Or perhaps I'm just mentally aligned with Brust somehow.

Lord knows there are other authors whose terms and names I have never heard in my head the way they intended them. Anne McCaffrey's Menolly is one example.

I was not that impressed by The Phoenix Guards or Five Hundred Years After, which I read when they came out, and I have never been one to eagerly antici ...pate the release of books in a series [and I was busy for a few years getting a Master's degree], so I've recently been catching up on my Brust reading.

Having been delighted by both The Sun, the Moon, and The Stars and Freedom & Necessity, I dove into The Paths of the Dead and truly enjoyed it also. I don't know if Steven's writing has changed or if my sensibilities have. a bit of both, I suspect. I'm glad to know the other volumes of the book are available, or at least on the verge of being so.

We will have Steven as our toastmaster at ConFusion in 2005, which just tickles me pink.

Posted March 20, 2004 9:00 AM by Anne Murphy

There's a pronounciation guide in the front of each of the compilation volumes for the Vlad series (if you have the originals, I think it was just in Jhereg).

Posted March 20, 2004 11:04 AM by Dan Blum

Wow! Patrick and Theresa are in contact with telekinetic dolphins! If we all play nice, can we be introduced too?

Kip, your reply was wonderful. But you forgot the other production people who worked on the book. They also got to read it before the rest of us....

Posted March 20, 2004 11:22 AM by Elric

okay, it's gonna take me a little bit to shift gears from kissing ass to get published, to kissing ass for books others have had published.

Posted March 20, 2004 11:38 AM by bryan

Just remember, Teresa, we convicted Leona and Martha. You could be next. Hmmm, is there a law against interstate gloating? ;)

Posted March 20, 2004 12:31 PM by Dave Kuzminski

Production managers get weird ass-kissers sending them mail and hanging on their feet. Far weirder than Teresa's. I want a better quality ass-kisser. [whine]

Posted March 20, 2004 12:33 PM by Nancy Hanger

Yay, it's nearly out! I've been looking forward to the finished version.

Posted March 20, 2004 12:40 PM by Kate Nepveu

Nancy, your production work is superb, and on that level I worship the feet that you could walk on water with whenever you choose.

Posted March 20, 2004 12:41 PM by Tom Whitmore

A new Brust novel?

Okay. 56 days until I graduate... (BS Physics)

There's already a small pile accumulating of books I've "Been Meaning To Read" downstairs, where I can't easily get to them in order to shirk homework...

Is the work of Brust pile-worthy?

Posted March 20, 2004 2:18 PM by Bill Blum

E --
... and the lowly proofreaders -- don't forget the lowly proofreaders.

Posted March 20, 2004 2:29 PM by Scorpio

Bill - Brust is pile-worthy alright. As one fine editor said, "'Swashbuckling' doesn't even begin to cover it."

Posted March 20, 2004 3:16 PM by Karen Junker

Oh, damn—"revelry," "eagerly-awaited," and there ought to have been a bloody em-dash between "such gloating" and "or, at the very least." Post in haste, etc. etc.

[fwoooosh!]

Posted March 20, 2004 4:17 PM by Kip Manley

Comedy, thy name is Kip Manley.

Posted March 20, 2004 4:20 PM by Ogre-Eyed

And here we see in microcosm the injustice of the world of publishing: I'm being oppressed! All I get to gloat about in my blog is finishing my own novels. But Teresa gets to gloat about finishing other peoples' novels, and what's more, they're better novels than mine! And she doesn't even have to write them before she gets to gloat about them! It's enough to make the blood of any budding literary genius boil, even without sticking your head in the microwave oven! Write to your editor now, and demand a retraction (Cont. on P. 94)

Seriously, congratulations. (Now, how long do I have to wait? Sulks, taps toes, etc.)

Posted March 20, 2004 5:03 PM by Charlie Stross

Karen:

Okay, if Brust's pileworthy.... where do I start?

Posted March 20, 2004 5:18 PM by Bill Blum

Charlie Stross wrote:
It's enough to make the blood of any budding literary genius boil, even without sticking your head in the microwave oven!

It's a sign I've been spending too much time in physics classes when I was able to compute the approximate energy required to boil someone's blood without the use of a calculator...

Posted March 20, 2004 9:04 PM by Bill Blum

Bill -- yes, but that would be at standard temperature and pressure, conditions which hardly ever apply in publishing.

Posted March 20, 2004 9:14 PM by John M. Ford

John-

It was a welcome break from my quantum mechanics homework, trust me....

I had a nightmare about my quantum class that just begs to be turned into a short story.... I should probably give it a shot and send it someplace.

Posted March 20, 2004 9:59 PM by Bill Blum

Occasionally I worry that those of us with physics degrees may be legally required to write hard SF, if indeed we're allowed to write fiction at all. It's so-- unrigorous. Embarrassing enough to be sending in slush in the first place, even more embarrassing to have other academics hear of it, and deadly if they find out its fantasy, I fear. It feels like a sort of secret vice. (Which is funny, because the physics started out as a whim, and the writing as the life goal. Now the road to a PhD seems much clearer than the road to publication.)

Posted March 20, 2004 10:21 PM by Mary Messall

Fwoooosh?

Oh. Wow! Such service! I shall recommend you to all my friends!

Posted March 21, 2004 2:19 AM by Kip Manley

Mary Messall wrote:
Which is funny, because the physics started out as a whim, and the writing as the life goal. Now the road to a PhD seems much clearer than the road to publication.

Scary, isn't it????

My current plan: get my B.S. degree this May, start grad school part-time in the fall. It looks like I'll have a 30 hour a week research assistantship at the Air Force Research Lab for at least a 12 month period to help defray costs.

I should complete a MS in Engineering (Wright State) by Spring, 2006 if I continue half-time year round ( yes, finishing a master's degree at 34. go figure. ) If circumstances permit at that time? I just may apply to the PhD program at Ohio State.

... but for now, I'm worried about getting the B.S. degree.

Posted March 21, 2004 10:07 AM by Bill Blum

Bill Blum wrote:
My current plan: get my B.S. degree this May, start grad school part-time in the fall.

At least you know when, in principle, you'll get the B.S. PhDs are scary in that you don't have a clue how long they'll take. I'm two years in now, with no end in sight. Also no end of relatives asking me When am I going to be done, How long does that take, and similar questions of an unanswerable nature.

Posted March 21, 2004 11:35 AM by Andy Perrin

Andy Perrin wrote:
PhDs are scary in that you don't have a clue how long they'll take. I'm two years in now, with no end in sight.

Yeah, I've got several friends that have been "working" on their dissertations for a few years now...

If I'm really pressed for time? I'll apply to the Air Force Institute of Technology (where I currently work as an intern) for their PhD program. The way they structure the program, you're hard pressed not to be done and out in 4 years.

Posted March 21, 2004 12:03 PM by Bill Blum

Occasionally I worry that those of us with physics degrees may be legally required to write hard SF, if indeed we're allowed to write fiction at all. It's so-- unrigorous.

My physics degree means that I get insight into my fantasy worldbuilding by muttering things like, "Oh, I get it! I've been treating it like a boson gas when really it's more fermionic!" -- not that I have to write only about bosons and fermions. People who want to figure out how things work have a lot of personality traits in common regardless of what it is they're trying to figure out. For me the only degree-related requirement seems to be to mutter, weekly, "You can take the girl out of the lab...."

But then, my undergrad department was really, really supportive. I explained my haggard appearance to my Math Methods prof once by saying, "I stayed up until midnight writing a story called 'Integral Transformations,' and then I stayed up until 3 because I didn't think you'd take it in lieu of my integral transformations." He said, "No, but I'd like to read it anyway." They cheer my slushpile attempts rather than sneering at them. Probably makes a huge difference.

Posted March 21, 2004 1:03 PM by Mris

Well, I, for one, was going to post a mildly witty variation on the basic "I hate you" theme, but then I got further down the thread, to Kip's posting, and frankly, the problem with this blog is that the readers are so damned talented that it's hard to stand out. Impossible, actually.

So I'll just go about my daily business, shall I? And wait, as is my penny-pinching wont, for Brust's work to hit paperback.

Incidentally -- Brust's Hungarian, or at least the typesetting thereof, sometimes has problems (not that I'm complaining, mind you; it's always a rush to run across any Hungarian at all.) The word "star" is "csillag", not ... well, I'll have to dig the book out now, but I remember something like "csilleg" in the last one. Paths of the Dead, mass-market paperback version. Hmm. Now I'm going to have to find it.

Posted March 21, 2004 1:15 PM by Michael

So actually, if you need somebody to, say, proof Brust's work in case there are mistakes in the Hungarian... or, um, something ... Well, you need look no further! I would be happy to render said service! Right now, even! Just in case there's some Hungarian in Sethra, say? Those Easterners are all over the place in those books. You can't be too careful!

Posted March 21, 2004 1:24 PM by Michael

I think the gloat would have more hold over me if I'd read Lord of Castle Black by now — or, possibly, The Man in the Iron Mask. (Both times I tried to read The Viscount of Bragalone, I bogged down at the same point halfway through Louise de la Valerie. To order spelling.)

Occasionally I worry that those of us with physics degrees may be legally required to write hard SF

If so, the physics police have yet to track me down for writing fantasy. I've only managed one hard SF story in my life, and it's a narrative poem.

---L.

Posted March 21, 2004 2:27 PM by LNHammer

I'll have to dig the book out now, but I remember something like "csilleg" in the last one.

A mind like a steel trap, Tom said snappishly. Page 12 of the mass-market paperback: Sötétcsilleg ("dark star", or actually, I suppose, a rather Hofstadterian case could be made for the translation "dark ster").

I can't believe I actually found the book -- my storage "system" consists of a series of large plastic boxes. An admirable system for moving the books, and for preventing water damage, and for allowing them to be forgotten long enough to make re-reading them pleasurable, but a really lousy system if you want to find something specific.

I've often wondered if Brust learned a dialect of Hungarian at home, which would explain the occasional oddity like "csilleg" -- and as Hungarian is not my mother tongue, I don't know a darned thing about its dialects.

Posted March 21, 2004 5:37 PM by Michael

I just finished Five Hundred Years After a week or two ago and loved it. I'm planning a quest for the next book soon, so my drooling envy is tempered by the fact that I have two more books to hunt down first. I am very much enjoying the antici... pation, too.

I don't like Brokedown Palace, though. The core problem didn't seem believable to me.

Posted March 21, 2004 10:46 PM by Ailsa Ek

re: Mary Messall's complaint about physics degrees and hard sf - no, it isn't compulsory. I have a degree in maths and physics, and almost everything *I* write ends up as some mutant offspring of political sf and gay porn. I'd like to write hard sf, but apparently I don't have that sort of brain...

Posted March 22, 2004 1:54 AM by Julia Jones

Lock Teresa in a room with the promo clip for Alien vs Predator [or is that Predator vs Alien] looping, and several other SF types. I was laughing so hard at it my gut hurt. Someone else was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face. At least one person though got seriously annoyed at the raucous laughter. [It was a truly appalling promo piece. Its absurdity level exceeding a particular "This is UTTERLY absurd!" moment of my days in the defense industry, when a meeting full of people some of whom were quite senior types, all looked around at one another of us and said, "the stuff we're working on in insane. The world would be a MUCH better place without these things!" The promo went beyond -that-. The promo piece started off badly, and just kept getting -worse- and worse and worse. The walls of water crashing into the lame city models in the trailer for "Day after Tomorrow" is ever so MUCH more credible and sensible. It makes that turkey trailer for The Core seem like well-established science and engineering. Etc. It really needs a Red Mike review, it is -so- very deserving of a Red Mike review!]

Posted March 22, 2004 2:32 AM by Paula Lieberman

I would consider that if Brust's Hungarian in his books is inexact, it may be because he isn't writing in Hungarian. He may have decided to change things slightly but deliberately because Dragaera is not our world. I mean, Loiosh is not generally spelled that way (Lajos!), but I don't doubt for a moment that it was on purpose.

Posted March 22, 2004 6:22 AM by Mris

Bill -

Where to start with Brust? Well, that's a good question. Here's a list of his works so far, in both publishing order and chronological. I read them in the original published order, and I think that works just fine. Oh, and here's someone's list on Amazon, which includes all the collected editions.

Hope that helps!

Posted March 22, 2004 9:19 AM by Tiercel

I'm both jealous and thankful. I still have to read "Paths of the Dead" and "Th Lord of Castle Black." Every time I've tried in the past, I started channeling Paarfi in my own writing. Now that I'm ready to switch projects, I can catch up!

Posted March 22, 2004 12:45 PM by Deborah Green

Tiercel:

Thanks for pointing out the list...

I'll check the used bookstore next time I'm there... I need to replace my CRC tables, and they have a nice SF/fantasy section as well...

I'll slot whatever Brust books I pick up right in line behind the two Neal Stephenson books (well, one at the moment-- the 2nd one isn't out yet. )

Posted March 22, 2004 2:39 PM by Bill Blum

Deborah Green --
I wonder how many people have that problem. I didn't experience it in my serious writing (Paarfi, try as he might, has difficulty intruding on a timed exam, take home or otherwise), but my personal correspondence suffered badly.

I'm already prone to roundabout phrasing and precarious grammar, so reading Phoenix Guards through Lord of Castle Black led quickly to email that took about a half hour to read to determine it was, in fact, a game announcement.

Posted March 22, 2004 4:23 PM by BSD

Certain Paarfi phrases have made their way into our household vocabulary.

In particular, when Chad asks the dog, "Do you want to go for a walk?", it is not uncommon for me to say on her behalf, "I think I have been asking nothing else for an hour!"

And with our dog, this is frequently true.

Posted March 22, 2004 4:25 PM by Kate Nepveu

The "My Head Hurts!" Department, or "Oy Veh Es Mir and since I don't see a handy open thread, and the Gloat Thread Started by Sophronia [sin, sin, sin, penance time!] is still in effect, YOUR head can hurt, TOO!!"

http://www.uhcg.org/text/mission.html

"We believe the United States, most of the former British Commonwealth of Nations, and most of the democracies in Europe have descended from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. These nations are the lost ten tribes of Israel and are referred to by the name of Israel. The nations of Israel also include the Jews who are the House of Judah."

http://www.uhcg.org/Q&A/Why-Satan-Not-Win.html

Line excerpt: "If Satan had anything to do with the production of the New Testament why is he the loser in the end?"

They don't quite seem to comprehend "fair use"

http://www.uhcg.org/text/copyright.html

"...
"All material is copyrighted by United Hebrew Congregations, 1997-2003, Picayune, MS. With All rights reserved.
"You may copy the material on this web site for personal use or free distribution, only if it is copied in full with all credit and information and accompanied with a copy of this Copyright page.
"..."

They do, however, spell "supersede" correctly.

Posted March 23, 2004 4:24 AM by Paula Lieberman

"Why-Satan-Not-Win.html"?

Wait, isn't the belief that Native Americans are The Tribe Not Found . . . well, you know?

Though there is something Davidsonian (I mean Avram, not uhm, well) in the group being hindquartered in Picayune, Mississippi.

Posted March 23, 2004 5:57 AM by John M. Ford

It would seem, therefore, that if you were to allow your readers, by virtue of being in the company of the editrix, to eavesdrop on this recent development, you will have, in one act, discharged two obligations; the advertisement of the latest disgorging from the pen of Paarfi, and the appeasement of his avid fans, who follow his career with the keenest of interest. A sacrifice, if I may say so, to the god of Brevity, whom all who work with the written word, ought to worship. I cannot say too little on this subject.

I beg your pardon for the impertinence of this request, but surely you are not so greedy as to refuse to toss us some paltry crumbs from the delicious feast that you so recently have devoured.

(with apologies to Mr. Brust and Paarfi)

Posted March 23, 2004 2:40 PM by Lara Beaton

The generosity of the Nielsen Hayden family has rendered the statement which constitutes the whole of this blog entry untrue at least in spirit if not in letter, for which I am appropriately grateful.

Or, more clearly, I gots me a copy too. Great is the mercy of Tor editors.

Posted March 29, 2004 8:44 PM by Kevin J. Maroney

Picked up my copy last night, and just began reading it. Now all I need to do is figure out what "jointed fouls" are. :-)

-j

Posted April 9, 2004 6:01 PM by J Greely

On sticking head in microwave oven (Charlie Stross): "Men in Black" explains that microwave ovens and velcro were based on alien technology. Robert A. Heinlein beta-tsted the first home microwave oven. And congratulations on your Hugo Finalist status for "Singularity Sky" and "Nightfall" [Asimov's, Apr 2003]
(Final Ballot, 2003 Hugo Award for Best Novelette).

And (other subthread) I was majoring in Physics, and read Too Much SF. Had to reboot my college education, restart my Sophmore year, and switch majors.

And how about the Retro Hugo finalists for 1953? What a golden year that was!

Posted April 11, 2004 2:25 PM by Jonathan Vos Post