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May 7, 2004

T-shirts and other silly things
Posted by Teresa at 12:00 PM *

The CafePress thing is now marginally presentable. There’s a small gaudy link to it in the sidebar. Everything in the store area’s on one big page. Someday I’ll figure out how to set up separate areas within it, but not yet. Not this month.

Following suggestions made in the comment thread for Making shirt, LL YR VWLS R BLNG T S has been duly transformed into a large colorful splotch on shirts and tote bags.* I didn’t have time to turn all the other good suggestions into spiffy designs, so I combined them all on one very wordy mug, for anyone who might find that amusing. Oops, except for Virge’s double dactyl. That I put on the CafePress page, next to the logo.

I DEEPLY RESENT THE WAY THIS ADMINISTRATION MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A NUTBAR CONSPIRACY THEORIST is now available in two legible versions, supplementing the original allegedly illegible version.* Harriet Culver reports that she wore her girly pink Nutbar Conspiracy shirt to a lecture at the Consulate General of the Federal Republic of Germany in New York. She doesn’t mention anyone there remarking on it, which was doubtless very diplomatic of them.

The list of Varieties of insanity known to affect authors has also been shirted, in two versions: one in a bright optimistic rainbow of colors, the other darker and more somber. Both can be had with or without a stripe on the back that says I AM A PROFESSIONAL WRITER. I TELL LIES TO STRANGERS FOR MONEY. For those with changeable temperaments or bipolar disorders, the light and dark versions are available together as the two sides of one tote bag.

That’s not the whole of what I’ve put up there, but this is more than enough explanation for what is after all intended as an amusement; and I optimistically believe that everything else is self-explanatory. If I’m wrong, I trust I’ll hear about it.

Comments on T-shirts and other silly things:
#1 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:12 PM:

I've been looking at it frequently, noting the changes, and agonizing over which version of certain ones to pick...also I can't quite afford to buy them all, alas.

#2 ::: Avram ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:12 PM:

CafePress doesn't bother to tell us whether the 80 sheets of premium 60lb book weight paper in the Toroidal Journal are ruled or blank. I'm guessing ruled, which rules it out for me, though "wire-o bound" has a musical sound and the cover is charming and nifty.

#3 ::: Claude Muncey ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:34 PM:

My first reaction to "Toroidal lime shirt with additional dumb joke" was to wonder if they used genuine toroidal limes to get that color.

Must be a short circuit somewhere.

#4 ::: betsy ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:36 PM:

i have the pink girly nutbar shirt and am waiting for an appropriate occasion to spring it on an unwary public.

#5 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:44 PM:

OK, I ordered a nutbar (yum!), a large comment thread mug, and n ll yr vwls shrt. I mean shirt. I'll order the other things I want right before WorldCon, so's they'll be fresh like.

Claude, you could also use those to make Keyhole Lime Pie.

#6 ::: Michael ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:45 PM:

My "Large Inscrutable Mug 3" has been a complete success: in addition to holding a good 25% more coffee than the paper cups provided by my employer, the mugs text has in its first week derailed three meetings and entertained the administrative assistant for the hour it took her to decode it (she's way too good at that to remain an AA for long....).

#7 ::: Jon Hansen ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:48 PM:

At the risk of revealing my status, what's the difference between auctorial insanities, deluded pro version and nonpro version?

#8 ::: Dan Blum ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:51 PM:

The pro versions are the ones with the stripes on the back that say "I AM A PROFESSIONAL WRITER. I TELL LIES TO STRANGERS FOR MONEY."

#9 ::: Jon Hansen ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:55 PM:

Ah. I do that from time to time, but the money I've made at it probably wouldn't even cover a single mortgage payment.

#10 ::: Claude Muncey ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 02:55 PM:

You're quite right, Xopher, and I haven't had some Keyhole Lime Pie in a long time (I hear the version served at the CIA and NRO cafeterias is excellent). The problem is that I can't seem to find torodial limes in the markets our here on the left coast.

Teresa, you seem to have good sources for citrus. Any luck finding these in NYC?

#11 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 03:25 PM:

Oh, I'm sure they sell them at the greenmarket right there in front of the Flatiron Building. In little open crates called 'skidoos'. They hold 23 toroidal limes each.

#12 ::: Mary Kay ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 04:11 PM:

There are several I intend to order Real Soon Now, but I'm wondering. Do you intend to do anything with that flag quote of Patrick's? That's what I'd really like.


#13 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 06:30 PM:

You only need to add an editor in a nightgown fleeing the Tor building in the "Mars Over Manhattan" picture to have a gothic novel cover.

#14 ::: John (B). ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 07:52 PM:

Oh well, I guess that I may as well pick myself up a nutbar t-shirt to wear around... it's not as if the secret police aren't following me about and reading all my emails already...

#15 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: May 07, 2004, 09:51 PM:

Large toroidal mug?

#16 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: May 08, 2004, 01:31 AM:

Mugs are toroidal to start.

#17 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: May 08, 2004, 02:26 AM:

Hrmn... I tell lies to people for money, but my profession is in low esteem right now. :)

I guess I'll have to take up writing.


#18 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: May 08, 2004, 10:53 AM:

I meant the Toroidal picture on a large mug. But you probably know that.

#19 ::: piet ::: (view all by) ::: May 15, 2004, 04:13 AM:

I 've realized for a while this be the only way to make any money off me 'woik' (although adding swirl and swing to the text here n there to then aim at the higher priced fashion industry is more like what I have in mind) .. . .care to 'frienchoice' some morcels of mine .. .make my light heavy . .. come on I dare ya.

#20 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: May 18, 2004, 02:45 PM:

Just got my "I deeply resent" and "LL YR VWLS" t-shirts, and my Comment Thread mug. Boy they're nice. I'm holding off on any more t-shirts until I know what size I'll be for Worldcon. (I've already gone from XL to M...probably never be S, but who knows?)

Reading the comment thread mug, though, I realized that I really want a t-shirt with Patrick's "I'm a patriot" quote on it. Any chance?

#21 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: May 18, 2004, 05:56 PM:

Patrick's uncomfortable with that quote right now. Maybe later?

#22 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: May 18, 2004, 06:04 PM:

Marilee, the Tor picture has the wrong aspect ratio for a mug. I'd have to wrap it sideways.

Piet, if there's a page where I can see your work, just give me the URL; but it's very easy to set up a CafePress site of your own. If you don't mind having only one design per product -- one messenger bag, one large mug, etc. -- they'll give you the site for free.

Terry, if you want a shirt that just says "I tell lies to strangers for money," say the word.

The most recent addition was another request. A reader wrote in to say that his parents would really like a nutbar bumper sticker or mug. All hail filial piety.

#23 ::: Tina ::: (view all by) ::: May 19, 2004, 01:57 PM:

I don't know if anyone else wants one, but I want a t-shirt that says "I tell lies to strangers for money", even though I haven't had fiction published yet. Part of my job involves dealing with clients and vendors...

Also, aesthetics comment: I really like the "all your vowels" joke, but the design as is is makes me twitch. Any chance of a slightly less glowy non-rainbow version, or do I just decide I like the joke too much to let that stop me?

I'll probably be ordering the auctorial insanity, in both current and hopeful status versions. Haven't quite decided yet.

#24 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: May 19, 2004, 02:32 PM:

Um, come to think of it...with the flag in disgrace and all. Right. Sorry.

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