Sounds a lot like the Leonardo di Caprio version.

Posted June 23, 2005 1:19 PM by James D. Macdonald

Survey says, "I want a t-shirt of the closing couplet of that."

Posted June 23, 2005 2:39 PM by Andrew Plotkin

It's amazing how Romeo & Juliet is the default choice for all style pastiches. I once started doing it for Mad Ape Den and got most of the way through Act I Scene I. Then I realized the Den has no address to send new submissions to, and I never figured out how to ask for an e-mail address.

But man, it was fun.

THE FEW WHO SAY IT ALL:
Two of a hut, all in a rut
In hip V'na, as we lay our yap,
A bad old way has got a new bad day
As hip kin can put a hip paw in the sap.
Out of any bad kid pod, one to a foe
Two in a big big sex way vow to die;
Who got in a bad era, and as two go
The kin of all now say "We may not vie."
The bad day of their oh-so-bad sex way
And the way the kin had got to be bad yet,
So 'til the two did die all had to vie,
We now can put it all up on our set;
So if you put an ear or two our way
We can fix all we did not now say.

Posted June 23, 2005 2:48 PM by Steve Eley

minority vote for t-shirts emblazoned

The worthy throwdown's always to the proud,
And hammer down is how the hard girls kiss.

Posted June 23, 2005 2:51 PM by pericat

pericat, I second that motion. I'd be even happier if the proceeds went to a foundation for cloning Mike Ford, the better to keep us all provided with alterno-Elizabethan texts.

Posted June 23, 2005 4:52 PM by PennyJane

T-shirt, hell. I want a "Small arms but hint what demolitions say" tat.

Posted June 23, 2005 5:03 PM by Aconite

Surely there's room on this extremely hypothetical shirt for more than one couplet of that. If not the whole thing, I vote for starting with Juliet's first lines.

Posted June 23, 2005 5:31 PM by Dan Blum

oh, but if you start with Juliet, you miss out on:

These lips are two shaped charges, primed and hot,
That wait the go-code for delivery.

Which would, come to think of it, be a fine t-shirt also.

Do the whole thing up, in a rainbow of assorted couplets and colours and fonts. Then exhort people to collect the whole set. Pay your rent through Christmas, I'll bet.

Mr Ford is a genius. (she said, stating the obvious)

Posted June 23, 2005 11:33 PM by pericat

Do one with the whole thing, available also as tote bag or messenger bag, and also do the couplets and snippets.

(Proceeds to the John M. Ford Trust Fund, which for the past few years has helped pay Mike's insurance and medical bills, would be helpful; it's not cloning Mr. Ford that is needed so much as keeping the current model in running order. Thus endeth the pep talk, brought to you by one of the members of the Society for the Preservation of Mike.)

I really want one of those with the whole thing on it. And the "hard girls" one, too. Oh, yeah.

Posted June 24, 2005 1:04 AM by elise

And like the better-known of Shakespeare's ouevre, chock full of potential novel titles: How the Hard Girls Kiss, Small Arms But Hint, The Worthy Throwdown, Wait the Go-Code...

Posted June 24, 2005 10:42 AM by NelC

Another vote on the me-too platform -- I'd love Cafe Press products with the whole text on it.

Posted June 24, 2005 12:51 PM by Sigrid Ellis

Yet another me-too, especially to elise's idea. Any or all. I'd even wear them around town (rather than just to cons or gatherings). And I hate having to explain my shirt to everyone....

Posted June 24, 2005 1:59 PM by jennR

We here at Speculative Engineering are, uncharacteristically, moving to meet audience demand. Will be firing up Corel later today, objective, .png. (As in "start up the maching that goes .png, Doctor.") Proceeds will go to the Medical Fund (which is unfortuately not deductible) and at least two shirts and a coffee mug ought to be involved. Please don't spread the word until I announce that all systems are go; then you may spread it like honey on Pooh.

And thank you, everybody.

Posted June 24, 2005 2:33 PM by John M. Ford

Anyone catch the big InfernoKrusher reading today in St. Louis?

Dunno who the author was, but CNN was showing lots of fire, and flaming gas cylinders jetting off, out of control.

Whoever it was, that's somebody to watch.

Posted June 25, 2005 12:05 AM by Jon H

Thanks to the miracle of Bezier Curves (the shop's got props, cause the vandals pulled the handles), the Speculative Engineering Techstore seems to be now up and running.

Right now we've got most of the shirts, and the carrier and messenger bags, showing the whole sonnet; items like mugs will probably feature the pithier extracts. Suggestions are welcome, of course.

More news as it happens.

Posted June 25, 2005 5:09 AM by John M. Ford

Well, phooey kablooey! The tote bag's already sold out! (OTOH, I did get to invent the first Infernokrusher-specific cussword.)

Posted June 25, 2005 9:19 AM by TexAnne

Actually, the tote bag showed as "sold out" as soon as I finished loading the data, so I assume (since I would think that CafePress prints on demand) that they're simply out of blank bags.

Probably all going over to Transylvania Poly. U.

Posted June 25, 2005 9:47 AM by John M. Ford

I bought a pink jr. ringer t-shirt, size x-large, only to find that it was too small for me.

The nice people at Cafe Press replaced it with a nice boring white t-shirt, but told me not to send the other back, so I have a spare shirt available for cost of postage to the first person who sends me an e-mail.

Posted July 13, 2005 7:14 PM by Hilary Hertzoff

Secret Sex Life Of Killer Fungus.

"A fungus that causes life-threatening infections in humans may be having sex, say scientists.
Aspergillus fumigatus, a fungus that has also been linked to asthma, had always been thought to reproduce asexually. But a study by researchers at Nottingham and Manchester universities has revealed that the fungus has a series of genes required for sexual reproduction. The discovery, published in the science journal Current Biology..."

Lost interest when I didn't find out what kind of truck has a backseat where the Killer fungi have sex.

Posted July 14, 2005 3:14 PM by Jonathan Vos Post