The Writer With A Manuscript In His Hand
This happened to a friend of a guy I knew: He and his girlfriend were out parking, and they were getting real cuddly when the radio came on and there was a story about how a local man had written a book and was trying to get it published. Well, the girl got scared and wanted to go home, but the guy wanted to keep going with what they were doing … they had a big fight, and he peeled out of there and drove her home, and when he opened the door a manuscript was stuck right through the door handle!
The Writer Who Got A New Carpet
My uncle used to know this writer who got a new carpet installed. The writer went out while it was being put in place. Well, carpet installer found a strange lump under the wall-to-wall when he’d got it all tacked down, so he smashed it flat with his hammer. Later the writer found his canary was still in its cage but his manuscript was missing.
The Writer in The Bathtub
I heard this from a guy who worked right in the emergency room. A writer went down to Tiajuana, and he had a bit too much to drink and left the bar with this sexy girl. The next morning he woke up back in his hotel, hurting all over, in a bathtub full of ice. There was a note written on the mirror in lipstick: Call An Agent! And he found his book was being printed by PublishAmerica.
The Writer Who Worked On His Book Too Long
An editor told me about this really well known writer who had gotten writer’s block, and in order to make up for it he wrote a really long book. But by the time he’d finished it tarantulas had nested inside his manuscript so when he picked it up they all came out and bit him and he died, and his widow had to return the advance.
The Writer Who Got A Phone Call From His Agent
A guy posted a story on the internet about a writer he’d met, and one night when the writer was home alone he got a call from his agent who said, “I’ve got a deal for your book for a a nice six-figure advance! Now all you have to do is write it.” The writer was really happy about that, so he went to open a beer to celebrate, and while he was drinking it, the phone rang, and it was his agent! And his agent said, “Why aren’t you writing your book?” And the writer said, “I’m writing it right now!” And he went and locked the doors, and pulled the curtains, and decided to watch some TV to relax, when the phone rang, and it was his agent saying “Why aren’t you writing your book?” And the writer said, “I am!” and he was really scared, so he called the police, and they said “We traced your line. Get out of there right now! No one’s called your house — you’re talking to yourself again.”
The Writer Who Used Poor Man’s Copyright
There was a story in the newspaper about this writer who wrote a book, and when he’d finished he mailed it to himself and never opened the envelope. And about a year later a really famous writer had a book published that used the exact same plot, so the writer took the sealed envelope to court, and he won and got a lot of money.