one, two, three, ONE
one, two, three, TWO

etc.

Request permission to recover, sir!

*shrugs, swallows a pill, hands Jim a couple of quarters*

I heroically refrained from making that joke.

Although actually I was just going to ask if he had change for a dollar.

Okay but all I can say is it's a darn good thing you're an EMT.

Pshw. Y dn't scr s. W knw y'r ll tlk.

Everyone drop and give me fifty.

I just hope I remember what I wanted to post some time next week when I finish.

Andrew Willett ::: (view all by) ::: September 01, 2005, 09:49 AM:

Pshw. Y dn't scr s. W knw y'r ll tlk.

giggle.

Fifty whats?

Fifty? Jeeze, the price for a Worldcon pre-pre support has been 20 monetary units, see: http://www.australia2010.org/timeline.html

And what city and year are you bidding for?

SIR YES SIR

And this is why I'm not cut ot for the military, I just can't do pushups to save my life. Never could.

Lis --

Just in case you really don't know, it's pushups.

Though given Jim's background, they might not be any kind of normal, sensible pushup.

At least he wasn't a Royal Marine.

I am so, *so* wanting to make assorted lewd remarks in response to that. But I know it's just deadline fever talking, and besides, Uncle Jim scares me...

This just isn't working for me. May I get my kids to do them for me when they get home from school?

Stock? I swear ours isn't dropping that fast...

More apropos I suppose - any thoughts on pushups that are challenging, but not agony to the shoulders? I have a lasting suspicion that I've just never learned to do them correctly - but alternatives are nice too.

:: conjures up bootcamp memories ::

The wide arm pushup:

Arms spread out wide, until wrists are at a 45 degree angle. Do them on your fingertips for a painful variation.

The diamond pushup:

Put your hands together on the floor so that the space between your thumbs and forefingers is in the shape of a diamond.

The triangle pushup:

These really killed me. Stand up straight. Then bend forward like you're going to touch your toes. Lean forward until your palms are flat on the floor and your butt is in the air. Then bend your arms until your nose touches the floor. Push your self back up until your arms are extended. Oh, the pain.

The regular pushup:

Hands planted on the ground, shoulder width apart, directly under your shoulders. Lower yourself down, keeping your back straight and your butt flat in line with your back. Eyes looking directly down, not in front of you, so your neck is in line with your spine. Lower until your back breaks the plane of your arms, do not touch the ground, lift yourself back up until your arms are straight. The starting positionis known as the "Front leaning rest"

Start in the above described 'front leaning rest' - palms under the shoulders, spine straight, toes and hands in contact with the ground, arms at full extension.

Rock backwards, bending at the waist and rotating your arms from the shoulder, until your nose is touching the floor. Move your nose as far forward as you can while maintaining it in contact with the floor.

When you can no longer maintain your nose in contact with the floor, arch your back so that your hips are close to, but not touching, the floor and your arms are straight up and down.

Turn your head to look over your right shoulder; turn your head to look over your left shoulder.

Resume the starting position and do it again.

Standard pushup, as above, only clapping your hands when you come back to the leaning rest position.

Ow.

Bob --

Once upon a time, I saw about a platoon of guys doing clapping pushups in various large puddles on top of an asphalt surfaced pier in the rain.

They were in full field kit with packs, and the puddles were slowing tinging pink because they'd miss the clap and slam face down on the tarmac, which experience was, unsurprisingly, giving them nosebleeds.

Which little incident (in Portsmouth, shortly after the Falklands War) is why Royal Marines have been my standard for 'unhinged? there was never a hinge to be found withing five miles of the place!' ever since.

that's the problem with the modern left in the U.S, they're always moderating themselves.

"girls" pushups:
Bend your legs at the knees: the knees are the pivot rather than the feet. Shorter radius, same arc length, more ... torque, possibly.

If moderation is 50 pushups, I'd hate to see excessiveness.

One hand pushups:

Feet spread wide, one hand flat on the floor under the center of your upper chest. Other hand in the small of your back.

Pump 'em out, Pookie. When you can't do any more, switch hands.

Repeat.

[...]more ... torque, possibly

I initially misread that middle word as "tongue".

Way back in frosh year in college, one of my classmates managed to convince another one that "clapping pushups" ought to be done by clapping the hands *behind the back* mid-pushup. I forget how many stitches ended up being required for the would-be clapping-pusher-up's chin.

Fifty situps OK? I can't do even five pushups. I've got the upper arm strength of a... weak girl.

Standard pushup as above, only on the knuckles of your clenched fists, wrists straight up-and-down.

Author question: has anyone here heard this from their editor: advance orders that are modest but not entirely disheartening? And if so...was it always the harbinger of bad news?

(he asked gulpfully)

Michelle K --

You very probably would. :)

Running cross country in groups carrying telephone poles is, absurdly, kinda fun. The version of PT that involves bags of wet sand and rifles at high port is not.

Sorry SIR. Here's my note from my Doctor. The last set of pushups (thirty) I did before back surgery four weeks ago was a standard pushup, except with my ankles up on an exercise ball (so I was pushing up to level).

So, what's the sound of a one-armed clapping push-up?

So, what's the sound of a one-armed clapping push-up?

[[clap]] [[thud]] "Ow! One!"
[[clap]] [[thud]] "Ow! Two!"
...

Is there any way to do pushups without killing your wrists? That's what gets me -- don't want to set off carpal tunnel syndrome again thank you very much.

Fifty push-up bras en route to Mr Macdonald, then. Whatever will he do with them?

Speaking of which, which we weren't, do you want that dreadful binding of Atlanta Nights for auction, Jim?

for xeger, regarding alternative style pushups: I've had huge shoulder/rotary, back and carpal problems over the years; have avoided surgery through the judicious application of yoga.

With what you could call yoga-style pushups, you move between concave and convex poses, so the shoulders and spine etc. stay reasonably happy. You can vary intensity more easily than with standard pushups too.

You do everything while breathing deep through your nose, and stay in each pose for a while. the slower you move the more intense the work. If you image-google these pose names you'll find examples.

1. From "downward facing dog" pose (forward fold from the hips till your hands hit the floor say three-four feet in front of you; hands and feet should be shoulder-width apart; stick your butt up in the air like a dog stretching; let your head/neck relax -- shouldn't be touching the floor. You'll get a major stretch along the backs of your legs, don't tear anything.)

2. Move to "plank" (like the top of a standard pushup, body and arms straight))

3. Move to "chaturanga" (slowly lower yourself to pusup position an inch off the floor, elbows close to body --I kinda collapse on this part usually, or just move through it)

4. Move to "cobra" or "upward facing dog" -- arch your back the other direction, straighten your arms

5. Then back to downward facing dog. Rinse and repeat.

6. To finish, walk feet forward into a forward fold, hang there a minute, then roll up to standing.

Many yoga classes will step you through something similar to this.

yow, sorry for length, folks...but it does feel good, just like stretching like my cat does...

Can we get a link to pictures of the dreadful binding? Pretty please?

(Note to DS Macdonald: I can't do pushups today. I have a blister on my thumb.)

I have a hurt wrist. May I simply bat my eyelashes and consider the 50 accomplished?

Speaking of which, which we weren't, do you want that dreadful binding of Atlanta Nights for auction, Jim?

Donate it to the next SFWA Emergency Medical Fund auction, okay?

Madeline: Only one wrist hurt? Do one-hand pushups.

Is there any way to do pushups without killing your wrists?

The clenched-fist pushups are really quite easy on the wrists. If you don't want to do that, there are so-called 'pushup bars' (not to be confused with push-up bras) which you can grasp and do pushups. They're also easy on the wrists.

pericat (and anyone else) -

You can see a description and pictures here.

Jim -

That is the intent. How do I get it from sitting here at my elbow in Edinburgh to being auctioned?

That is the intent. How do I get it from sitting here at my elbow in Edinburgh to being auctioned?

Write to Peter Heck and ask him.

OK. Who's Peter Heck? I am not hooked into this community. I just bind books.

The SFWA Emergency Medical Funds Manager. (is he a director? a chairman? I'm at work and can't check).

abi - thanks! Nice work. Hard to look at for long. Antidote: the rest of the catalogue.

How about this deal: I'll give you 100, but they're coming in sets of 25, with one minute rests between sets. How's that?

abi: peteheck@verizon.net

from the SFWA website

Harry,

Thanks. I Googled him and got another address, but found that his ISP won't take emails from the UK. (The address I had didn't state it was Verizon, or I would not have been surprised. They think the entire UK is one large spamming nation.) I'm onto my gmail account for the second try.

pericat,

I'm glad you like the bindings. The rest of my work is on my other site, linked from the "about" page on evilrooster.com

Pushups to be Outsourced to The Usual Countries

Perspiration Will Be Recycled as Electrolyte Supplement

"We want to redeem the idea of the 'sweatshop' for the new millennium." -- Unnamed Person Who May or May Not Have Anything to Do with This

And now I want to do a Mob yarn in which one of the detectives mutters, "Drop a dime and give me twenty to life."

Jim, if I drop, I have to call the EMTs. I'm sure you agree that they shouldn't have to come take care of someone who did something stupid on purpose. (Actually, depending on where I drop and how, sometimes I can get back up myself.)

I've got your fifty right here.

Oops, did I say that. Sorry.

I've got your fifty right here, sir.

So, have you gotten the same sick feeling about the Mayor of New Orleans that I have?

Standard pushup as above, only on the knuckles of your clenched fists, wrists straight up-and-down.

I always do pushups that way, actually. I find it much more comfortable than the flat-hand way.

Ball pushups: One hand on the floor, one on a ball (like a soccer ball). Do half your reps, then switch.

Maribeth Back wrote:

With what you could call yoga-style pushups, you move between concave and convex poses, so the shoulders and spine etc. stay reasonably happy. You can vary intensity more easily than with standard pushups too.

snippage

That sounds like one of the (many) sun salutation variants - I'd love to find a book with a bunch of them!

On the pushups side - where do my elbows go? Are they supposed to be in parallel, or do the stick out like a grasshopper's legs?

down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up
down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up
down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up
down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up
down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up

Pushups are so much easier now that copy-and-paste has been invented.

Boooooooring!