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October 10, 2005

Back in NYC
Posted by Patrick at 10:18 AM * 13 comments

The Corpuscle reports from Target A:

Didn’t all New Yorkers get at least one of these in their mailbox last week?
Dear Potential Victim of Impending Terrorist Attack:

We here at al-Qaeda know how many widespread-death-and-destruction options you have in today’s dangerous world so we would like to take a moment just to thank you for choosing to live in New York City, one of our prime metropolitan targets. Your faceless death is important to us! Once again, thank you for choosing New York City.

al-Qaeda
Terror Distribution Division

And then a day or two later:
Dear Pending National Hero:

We here at the Military-Industrial-Political Complex know how many dying-in-the-name-of-freedom options you have in today’s dangerous world so we would like to take a moment just to thank you for choosing to live in New York City, one of our prime promotional event venues. Your heroic death is important to us! Once again, thank you for choosing New York City.

Military-Industrial-Political Complex
Horror Marketing Division

Parenthetically, I do think they might have chosen separate direct-mail houses.

Comments on Back in NYC:
#1 ::: Harry Connolly ::: (view all by) ::: October 10, 2005, 12:05 PM:

Separate direct-mail houses? But they're both working for George Soros!

#2 ::: ae ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 01:49 AM:

Absolutely brilliant.

#3 ::: Zoe ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 05:56 AM:

New York seems to be full of wonderful people doing nefarious and funny things.

Have you heard about Ji Lee's speech bubble campaign?

#4 ::: Zoe ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 06:18 AM:

Oh...wait...

That was a joke, right?

Damn.

#5 ::: Ken MacLeod ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 06:54 AM:

In A Case of Conscience James Blish mentioned, in a great world-building aside, the name of NYC's local government: the New York Target Area Authority.

(This is just a skiffy aside to the Corpuscle's fine satire on something else entirely.)

#6 ::: Luthe ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 10:15 AM:

We here in Subordinate Target Area 06804 would like to ask why we are not being given higher priority by al-Qaeda. What, is flyover country not good enough for terrorism? The military-industrial complex surely thinks so, as they have provided more money per capita for us than for people in more popular terrorist targets. Why are we not getting equal interest from terrorist groups? We can die horrifically, too!

Signed,
Everywhere that isn't a major metropolitan area.

#7 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 11:36 AM:

Do they have a "thank you for visiting New York; your senseless death as a visitor to the city will increase our impact" letter?

Signed, see you next week.

#8 ::: Cady ::: (view all by) ::: October 11, 2005, 09:02 PM:

What a lovely little morsel; satire is my favorite snack :)

#9 ::: Bernita ::: (view all by) ::: October 12, 2005, 10:04 AM:

I live in Canada.
In Canada we hijack a bus.
In Canada we blow up a wheelchair ramp, not a government building.
It's quiet here.
Sigh.

#10 ::: Carolyn Davies ::: (view all by) ::: October 12, 2005, 11:14 AM:

Bernita: you say that like it's a bad thing.

#11 ::: Bernita ::: (view all by) ::: October 12, 2005, 12:17 PM:

No, but it can be a complacent thing.
A smug thing.
And therefore a dangerous thing.

#12 ::: Carolyn Davies ::: (view all by) ::: October 13, 2005, 07:04 PM:

I, for one, would rather live in naive complacency and get killed for it than spend the rest of my life in paranoia. But maybe that's just me.

#13 ::: Wim ::: (view all by) ::: October 14, 2005, 03:06 AM:

I've been working on a "live in naïve complacency and die at a ripe old age" scheme. So far so good. Some details still to be worked out.

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