By the way, what was the name/ID of Marvin's Roman-helmet-wearing canine sidekick? Probably K-9, but I thought I should ask the experts.

Posted March 13, 2006 2:35 PM by Serge

Damn those bunnies!

Posted March 13, 2006 2:36 PM by Madeleine Robins

Next they'll steal the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator....

Posted March 13, 2006 2:59 PM by Tully

In case you were left wondering what this was all about: Mars_Reconnaissance_Orbiter

Posted March 13, 2006 3:02 PM by Greg London

No word yet on when it’s going to start blogging.

Day 289: I'm still freezing my ass off up here. No one told me how cold it was going to be in Mars orbit. If they had, I would have brought a space blanket or something. (you know, those aluminum foil thingies with a thin layer of foam on the backside). Anything would be better than slinging around the planet with my antenna hanging out for all to see. Not that there's anyone to see them, but still, there are all those artists renditions of me, and none of the artists seem to be aware that the arm is telescoping. It can extend and retract you know. No reason to always show it retracted. Not that I would ever want to extend in this climate. DAMN it cold up here.

Posted March 13, 2006 3:07 PM by MRO

An MDF commander?

I guess medium-density-fibreboard commanders are a *bit* more robust than cardboard cutout commanders, but in the end, just as useless :)

Posted March 13, 2006 3:09 PM by Tim Hall

only slightly better than your standard cardboard character...

Posted March 13, 2006 3:11 PM by Greg London

The green dog was (and is) indeed K-9. Recall that he first appeared in 1949, a long time before even William Hartnell got into space-time.

"I say, Jeeves, this is a deuced odd police-wossname."
"Indeed so, sir."
"All very shiny. And modern, in a how d'you say, modernist sort of way. I haven't blundered into Angel Station by mistake, have I?"
"I think it unlikely, sir."

That K-9 turns up in "K-9 Caddy," a Duck Dodgers TV episode in which Marvin . . . uh, I mean Commander X-2 is trying to play golf around the Martian versions of the Goofy Gophers (who are green and have four arms, like, you know, small furry Tharks.)

Posted March 13, 2006 3:14 PM by John M. Ford

Day 290: Burroughs onna stick, lookit that. When I get home, I am gonna have a looooong talk with Dick Hoagland.

Mission profile, mission claudicatin' profile, come on, Google -- oh, right, time delay.

She packed my bag last night, preflight
Zero hour, 9 AM;
And I'm gonna . . .

Ah. Mission profile. Uh. . . .

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time . . .

Posted March 13, 2006 3:23 PM by MRO

Speaking of Tharks, Mike... Have you or anybody heard what's going on with Jon Favreau's movie version of A Princess of Mars? I hope Favreau (aka Foggy Nelson in Daredevil) doesn't get Will Ferrell to play John Carter, although I'd prefer him to Colin Farrell.

Posted March 13, 2006 3:42 PM by Serge

Whereas we can only imagine the rapidly proliferating content of the Martian blogs.

- Most alien craft are supposed to bring either a message of cosmic harmony, or a death ray blast. This one doesn't seem to be doing anything - it must be from their "Swiss" sea-bottom. Maybe we should ask it to take us to its lieder?

- How will this affect Dejah Thoris's chances at the Miss Port lowell title this year?

- I, for one, welcome our new Earthling overlords.

Posted March 13, 2006 3:44 PM by Sam Kelly

I want to hear more from MRO. His/her blog is fascinating.

"Every single post in that part visible on my screen is either funny or bracing or important. Is it always like this?" -- Natalie Solent

See what I mean? Word is getting around.

Posted March 13, 2006 3:47 PM by Tim Kyger

I, for one, welcome our new Earthling overlords.

And then, Sam, they'll force the Martian natives into starring in 'blue' movies, like Deep Thoat, and next thing you know, someone will bring up dinosaurs & sodomy.

Posted March 13, 2006 3:55 PM by Serge

Day 290.1:

Tim Kyger's reading my stuff! (Via an atomya bombskiya-monitoring satellite who's been playing dead since the Reagan administration.)

**** ******* ****!

Oh, very ******* funny, Google. Smart*******filter, my anastigmat.

Posted March 13, 2006 4:11 PM by MRO

MRO day 291: OK folks, there's some sort of weird crystalization growing on near CPU board number 3. Dunno what it is. I'll send a picture soon as I can figure out how to swing the lense back around my insides. (try taking a picture inside your own colon and see how easy that is). Meantime, if I go a little askew hopefully it will only be temporary. Oh, and before I forget, the eggheads were asking for a diagnostics dump, so here it is. later.

Posted March 13, 2006 4:17 PM by MRO

funding cuts and bunnies and things

Bunnies aren't just cute, you know, like everyone supposes.

Posted March 13, 2006 4:19 PM by Xopher (Christopher Hatton)

Is there any truth to the rumour that Michael Brown and Claude Allen will be on the first human-staffed explorer?

Posted March 13, 2006 4:55 PM by Fragano Ledgister

"Under", I thought? Damn internet rumors.

Posted March 13, 2006 5:00 PM by Sandy B.

Fragano, I'm sure they'll do a heckuva job.

Posted March 13, 2006 5:24 PM by Xopher (Christopher Hatton)

I think we want our first Martian explorers to be people who know what water looks like.

Posted March 13, 2006 5:27 PM by John M. Ford

Oh, there's no doubt they know what water looks like. In fact, sending them to Mars could result in severe flooding.

Posted March 13, 2006 5:49 PM by Fragano Ledgister

Do the Martians have a backup plan for dealing with flooding?

Posted March 13, 2006 6:06 PM by P J Evans

And so am I right in assuming everyone has already seen google mars by now?

Posted March 13, 2006 6:44 PM by Keith Kisser

Keith, that map of Mars makes me say... Groovy!!!

Posted March 13, 2006 7:12 PM by Serge

Oh, the MDF[1] isn't targeting probes any more. The Martians infiltrated one of their agents into THEMIS a few years ago, and he's been photoshopping out the cities, pyramids, and such. Much more civilized than the old approach, and nowhere so much of a strain on the budget.

[1] Actually, the MADF ("Martian Air Defense Force"): "Not much air, but a whole lot of defense!"

Posted March 13, 2006 7:48 PM by Damien Neil

Now the Martians are going to have to fight the humans on Earth, so they don't have to fight them on Mars.

Posted March 13, 2006 9:24 PM by DonBoy

Today's Google logo is for MRO.

Posted March 13, 2006 9:38 PM by Marilee

PJ: They'd better!

Posted March 13, 2006 10:13 PM by Fragano Ledgister

I would just like to say, for the sake of posterity, that I have a 14-year-old daughter whose ambition is to be the first volcanologist on Mars.

Her name is Stephanie and she is blond and sarcastic, and if you get between her and Mars you may get mowed down.

Remember this in 15 years or so when the crew is announced.

Posted March 13, 2006 11:14 PM by Lila

Silly martians - don't they know "Google Earth" is free?

Posted March 14, 2006 1:15 AM by Carl Dershem

Opportunity is waiting for MRO to start blogging, too. I'm watching *that* spot. MRO, would you like a livejournal account? All your friends are there already!

Posted March 14, 2006 3:03 AM by melannen

"Deep Thoat". I like it. Soon to be followed by "Debbie Does Deimos".

Do the Martians have a backup plan for dealing with flooding?

Canals, duh.

Posted March 14, 2006 5:04 AM by ajay

"Debbie does Deimos", ajay? And "Sinning in Sinharat", and "Jerking in Jekkara"...

Posted March 14, 2006 6:01 AM by Serge

I have a 14-year-old daughter whose ambition is to be the first volcanologist on Mars.

Good for her, Lila!

Say, how much would a Mission to Mars cost, if it were launched today? To think of the money being wasted on the sands of Iraq. Not that we would actually go to Mars if the Iraqi War had not happened, but still...

Posted March 14, 2006 6:05 AM by Serge

Current estimates for the return to the moon are in the $100m range; missions to Mars a good bit pricier. (Many would argue that all this could be done cheaper if it wasn't being done by NASA; but to the extent that it will be done, it will be by something pretty like NASA, so that's not an argument that compels)

BTW, MRO better last more than two years -- its the primary telecoms link for the MSL rover to be launched in 09 -- a nuclear powered rover with laser-zapping-things capability that will really give the MDF something to worry about...

Posted March 14, 2006 6:56 AM by Oliver Morton

Oliver: Do you really mean $100m? That's not very much by Nasa standards. A shuttle launch costs $55 million in incremental costs. The current estimates are for more like $100 billion.
The Mars project would presumably cost not much more, as it would reuse a lot of the hardware.

Bob Zubrin's Mars Direct is supposed to be sub-$10 billion.

Posted March 14, 2006 7:18 AM by ajay

Dejah does Deimos.

Posted March 14, 2006 7:18 AM by Jon Meltzer

OK, so, MRO --- do ya like X? I mean the band; the one with John Doe and Exene? (Ghod, *that* dates me...) I mean, since ya like the Sex Pistols, I just think...

I'm just sayin'.

Posted March 14, 2006 8:33 AM by Tim Kyger

oops. $100 billion for the moon. Thanks ajay
no realistic costing model would allow a $10 billion mission; you need, after all, to develop a heavy lift launcher, at least two entirely new spacecraft, a new class of nuclear reactor, and a whole new array of techniques for entry descent and landing which will have to be tested on Mars before the people go.

Meanwhile the cost of a single space telescope is $4.5 billion (latest figures for JWST).

Posted March 14, 2006 8:33 AM by Oliver Morton

I'm not in a position to judge whether it's realistic or not - not my field. In any case, on checking, I see that the original cost estimate was $20 billion in the mid-90s, not $10 billion - now equivalent to $30 billion, Wikipedia says. Sorry.

I should think, however, that going to Mars would cost no more than $10 billion, assuming one had gone to the Moon first - much of the hardware, like the heavy-lift launcher, would be common to both missions.

Vulcanologists on Mars? That's a bit dull - all the volcanos are extinct. What does she think about Io?

Posted March 14, 2006 8:58 AM by ajay

The MDF isn't angered by this blatant disrespect of its sovereignty. It's just terribly, terribly hurt.

Posted March 14, 2006 9:09 AM by C.E. Petit

In other words, going to Mars won't be cheap, if it happens at all. As for the argument that it could be done cheaper if it weren't done by NASA... Yeah, I've come across that Liberterian fantasy quite a bit in Analog and in the National Space Society. You know, it's the if the guvmint would just cut down on those pesky regulations crowd that thinks that business people would then open up their purses and spend gazillions of dollars on something without expecting any return on their investments for decades. Yeah, right...

And while NASA appears to have indeed become a wee bit too bureaucratic, you'd still need something like it to go out there, as was pointed out by Oliver Morton.

By the way, about 10 years ago, Stephen Baxter wrote the novel Voyage, an alternate History where the decision was made in the Seventies to fund a mission to Mars instead of the space shuttle. It is rather poignant, especially when an experimental nuclear rocket goes very wrong in Earth's orbit. But there's a scene on the day of the final launch where the astronauts are being readied for the flight and it feels like preparations for a religious ceremony.

Posted March 14, 2006 9:13 AM by Serge

ajay wrote:

What does she think about Io

Simple.

Io sulfur, away!

Posted March 14, 2006 9:42 AM by Tim Kyger

Tim Kyger:

Are you suggesting that the first human-staffed ship sent to Io should be called the Lone Ranger?

Posted March 14, 2006 10:56 AM by Fragano Ledgister

The last time I saw any figures on 'cost of occupying Iraq' ... I mean, 'the war in Iraq', it said 4.5 billion a month.

Ow... but anyway. Three months to the moon, less than a year to Mars, assuming 10 and 30 billion apiece. Two and a half years, at 100 billion.

In dollars per person, and assuming about 300,000,000 US taxpayers, then $35 to get to the moon, $105 for Mars, and $350 to do all the set-up and research and accident planning and stuff.

I'd pay that. Too bad it goes to Halliburton instead.

Posted March 14, 2006 11:20 AM by Renee

The war on Iraq has certainly set a new level for "acceptable expense". It's sort of the budgetary equivalent (ironically) of "If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we solve $PROBLEM".

Posted March 14, 2006 12:18 PM by ajay

Fragano Ledgister wrote:

Are you suggesting that the first human-staffed ship sent to Io should be called the Lone Ranger?

I would be if I'd thought of it first.

Posted March 14, 2006 12:51 PM by Tim Kyger

Tim Kyger: Just remember I did!

Posted March 14, 2006 4:28 PM by Fragano Ledgister

The war on Iraq has certainly set a new level for "acceptable expense".

Yeah, but "if we can invade a country and occupy it in a military quaqmire until it tears itself apart in civil war, then why can't we ..." just doesn't have the same ring as "if we can put a man on the moon, then why can't we...".

It may set a new level for acceptable expense, but it's just too much of a mouthful to put into a common saying.

Posted March 14, 2006 5:06 PM by Greg London

An oldie, but a goodie:

"More accurately, the planet is an understated fiery umber,"

Also, I find it tremendously amusing that you can get a mechanical watch set to run on Martian time.

Posted March 16, 2006 2:49 AM by Owlmirror

Four threads, each different in details but not in form.

Posted April 25, 2006 12:44 PM by P J Evans sees comment spam

same spambag as before

Posted May 1, 2006 2:52 AM by protected static sees comment spam