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July 10, 2006

The Procrastination Rag
Posted by Teresa at 08:56 PM * 15 comments

Commodorified, inspired by Vindaloo, has come to a conclusion:

We [writers] need … a fight song. Something with completely ridiculous words that we can sing drunkenly when we get together.

Something that makes no sense to anyone but us. Anyone INCLUDING us, really.

To the tune of British Grenadiers, except when it isn’t, with intervals of random arrythmic bellowing.

Because I LIKE “British Grenadiers.”

It’s pretty good. It has huge throbbing word counts, well-waxed cats, deadline panic, conscienceless quick fixes for lagging plots, issues about onomatopoeia (which it misspells), and of course features both dinosaurs and sodomy.

I haven’t heard it performed, so I don’t know whether it comes up to the standards of the Orstrilian Notional Anthem or other well-regarded songs of our tribe, but I’m looking forward to seeing Commodorified’s music video of it on YouTube.

Comments on The Procrastination Rag:
#1 ::: Vian ::: (view all by) ::: July 10, 2006, 09:52 PM:

Do you think commodorified would mind terribly if I sang the "Kick them in the squids" bits TTTO "bringing in the sheaves"?

Despite having lived in Wisconsin for my sins, for a bit, I don't know how to intone the yelled bits. And I want to do this properly.

#2 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: July 10, 2006, 10:30 PM:

Surely a writers' fight song should have more, shall we say, semeiological content. Or it could just be (on the lines of 'We are here because we are here..') something like 'We mean what we say and we say what we mean...'

#3 ::: Marna ::: (view all by) ::: July 10, 2006, 10:34 PM:

issues about onomatopoeia (which it misspells)

*scrambles*

Not now it doesn't. *is EXTREMELY EMBARRASSED*

I'm looking forward to seeing Commodorified's music video of it on YouTube.

Except I can't carry a tune, and Angevin2, who helped write it, has a lovely but small and ladylike ladylike voice.

Anyone -- especially any large group -- who wants to record it is free to; we'd just like a copy. please.

The yelled bits may be performed as a chant, as freeform drunken gargling, or to any tune one desires. Or all three at once.

#4 ::: Elayne Riggs ::: (view all by) ::: July 11, 2006, 12:30 AM:

I don't know what the French or Italian football songs are, but there was one melody I kept hearing during Sunday's game that started out sounding like Vindaloo and ended up sounding like My Darling Clementine, which actually worked well in the venue. Therefore, I personally think writers or bloggers or even the MLS should put new words to the tune of My Darling Clementine and sing it at games (or blogger gatherings).

#5 ::: Kip W ::: (view all by) ::: July 11, 2006, 07:46 AM:

Sing it loud. Might makes write!

#6 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: July 11, 2006, 08:00 AM:

Ha, ha, ha. Wait a sec. We can only get drunk and sing loudly when we're together? Damn, that's what I'm doing wrong. :)

Kick them in the squids!...

#7 ::: Nancy Lebovitz ::: (view all by) ::: July 11, 2006, 10:46 AM:

Absolutely brilliant. Have you considered a cafepress shop? I think it wants to be a poster and at least five mugs.

#8 ::: Julia Jones ::: (view all by) ::: July 11, 2006, 01:23 PM:

[gigglegigglegiggle] Looking forward to the filk session at Redemption and/or Orbital...

#9 ::: A.R.Yngve ::: (view all by) ::: July 11, 2006, 05:38 PM:

THE WRITERS' FIGHT SONG
(Sung to the tune of "Glory, Glory Hallelujah")

We are broke 'n have no groupies,
We are broke 'n have no groupies,
We are broke 'n have no groupies,
but we write and we kick ass! WRITE! WRITE!

#10 ::: Sandy B. ::: (view all by) ::: July 12, 2006, 08:29 AM:

I love "Kick them in the squids!"

Is there a history behind this phrase, or is it all yours?

#11 ::: Marna ::: (view all by) ::: July 12, 2006, 09:11 AM:

Sandy: nope, stole it from Elizabeth Bear. If I have correctly understood her on this point, "squids" are one's personal 'bulletproof kinks' (not necessarily or even usually sexual), the stuff that will yank you headlong into a story.


#12 ::: Marna ::: (view all by) ::: July 12, 2006, 09:17 AM:

(also, that particular British Grenadiers recording is AFAIK public domain; I believe it came out of the National Archives. But PLEASE right click and save it; it's on my own server, and I'm trying to avoid pulling it off or reuploading it zipped, either of which would break this link.)

#13 ::: Skwid ::: (view all by) ::: July 12, 2006, 02:47 PM:

As the resident cephalopod, I feel I should object.

I feel that way, but I can't actually bring myself to.

WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!

#14 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: July 13, 2006, 08:35 AM:

For more about the squids, see under "Squid in the Mouth" and "Squid on the Mantelpiece" in The Turkey City Lexicon.

#15 ::: Ben ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2006, 02:58 AM:

"Kick them in the squids!" - it's a brilliant !

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