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November 16, 2006

Naming the war
Posted by Teresa at 07:40 PM * 157 comments

“Is anyone else bothered that the current conflict in Iraq seems to be somehow nameless?” said FungiFromYuggoth. “It’s not Gulf War 2, that’s for sure.”

“George’s War?” said Greg London.

“The War of George’s Flight-Suit?” suggested Fragano Ledgister; but protected static countered with “Ooh, ooh, I know! The Codpiece War!”

“You shouldn’t have said that,” said Abi, and then posted:

In centuries to come they’ll sit and talk
About the war we started in 03:
“Some country called…what was it then?…Iraq.
They thought they’d go invade and set it free.”
“Or was it oil?” “No, that just isn’t right.
You cook with oil, silly. Can’t be that.”
“But maybe they were using oil to fight?
Non-lethal weapons? Bad guys drenched in fat?”
“Now that is just ridiculous. Listen. Hush.
They saw a vision, smoke that filled the sky,
Twin pillars in one day, a burning Bush:
Religious martyrdom…I think that’s why.”
“The war was a crusade, fighting over God?
You sure? So why’s it named The Piece of Cod?”
Comments on Naming the war:
#1 ::: Eve ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 08:29 PM:

Well, I've called it That Stupid War In Iraq since before it began. Short, sweet, to the point.

#2 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 08:54 PM:

As I just said in the thread from which this came:

The Neocon War.

#3 ::: Martin Wisse ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 08:54 PM:

It's the War on Iraq. Because that's what the US is doing, slowly and deliberately destroying the country.

#4 ::: Lizzy L ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 09:09 PM:

It's Bush's War.

#5 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 09:22 PM:

You can't just do "NeoCon War" because then you'll just have to start numbering them at some point.

Neocon War 1.
The Second NeoCon War.
etc.

How about:
The Neocon War to end all Neocon wars.

Ooh. I like that one.
Then it's like an homage to WW1 being
called the war to end all wars,
and this is the first neocon war, so....

I still have a preference to
The War of Mad King George

I know it's a bit of a mouthful,
but a crazy bstrd is a crzy bstrd.

#6 ::: Rasselas ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 09:27 PM:

The War from Cheney's Prostate.

#7 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 09:28 PM:

Gah! Someone just mentioned the name on open thread, and it's perfect for this thread.

The Munchausen War

With all the tall tales about WMD's, aluminum tubes for centrifuges, yellow cake from Niger, and the like, Munchausen does a good job of capturing the level of hogwash that's been thrown around to justify this war.

Or, of course,
The War of Mad King George

#8 ::: JC ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 09:39 PM:

We're probably going to end up with something prosaic like the Iraq War. However, I hope for something like W's Biggest Mistake.
Actually, I like W's Biggest Folly more, but that may make light of a serious matter.

The reason, of course, why the current conflict seems nameless is because the Bush Administration keeps confusing it with the Global War on Terror. Or is it the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism? Or perhaps it is, believe it or not, the Long War?

In Short: The Long War

#9 ::: Steve Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 09:51 PM:

I used to hear it called 'Gulf War 2' a fair bit, but it seems to have graduated to just being 'the war' for the moment - a fairly ominous sign.

I've always been annoyed by "Gulf War 2" anyway - doesn't a decade of Iran and Iraq trying to kill each other count? It was certainly called "The Gulf War" at the time.

Or are we counting from zero?

#10 ::: Christopher B. Wright ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 10:00 PM:

The War of the Poseurs?

#11 ::: Jon Sobel ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 10:09 PM:

Ain't never been to Baghdad
Ain't never seen Fallujah
Never voted for
A preemptive war
'Cause I got Al Qaeda scars right here

#12 ::: DILBERT DOGBERT ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 10:22 PM:

The codpiece war is a good one. The "jet fighter" that bush was in was a COD, Carrier Onboard Delivery aircraft. In otherwords an arial pickup truck. It also could be configured for anti sub duty protecting the carrier.
Mission Acomplished War

#13 ::: Michael ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 10:47 PM:

Diversionary War I
The Electoral College War of 2004
The Rovelutionary War

--That's all I've got tonight folks! I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff and bartenders generously! Try the Veal!

#14 ::: Jacob Shelton ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 11:03 PM:

How about the First Evangelical Crusade?

#15 ::: rm ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 11:20 PM:

The Piece of Cod?

As in "the piece of cod which passeth understanding"?

How about the War of American Self-Destruction? The Great Distraction?

#16 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 11:24 PM:

The Look What the Stupid F**ktards Got Us Into Conflict.

The Showin' Up Daddy Action.

Dubya's Folly.

The Halliburton Enrichment Act.

#17 ::: Julie L. ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 11:36 PM:

wrt #15: this war does resemble lutefisk in some ways. The preliminary ly(e)ing comes to mind; also, Wikipedia helpfully notes, "Lutefisk left overnight becomes nearly impossible to remove."

#18 ::: Julie L. ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 11:39 PM:

Addendum-- somehow I managed to miss the quote from Jeffrey Steingarten further down in the Wikipedia article: "Lutefisk is not food, it is a weapon of mass destruction."

#19 ::: law ::: (view all by) ::: November 16, 2006, 11:43 PM:

Shrub's Flub.

#20 ::: Bill Humphries ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:20 AM:

I'm with Steve @ 9, it's Gulf War III, unfortunately as tragedy instead of farce.

#21 ::: Evan Simpson ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:38 AM:

To me, it isn't a war at all. When King George declared "Mission Accomplished", the brief war ended, and the Occupation of Iraq began. Ever since then, the Occupation has just been getting more violent and chaotic. Further, I note that it is incoherent to talk about "winning" an occupation.

#22 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:56 AM:

The B Liars' War.

Bush, Blair, Berlusconi...

#23 ::: Jacob Shelton ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:01 AM:

Wow Evan, that is quite the most damning insult I've ever seen leveled at monarchs...which is pretty impressive. Congratulations.

#24 ::: protected static ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:38 AM:

Stephan @16
The Showin' Up Daddy Action.

See? 'The Codpiece War', uh, covers that too. As it were.

#26 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:51 AM:

Just don't call me late for dinner . . .

(Actually, I'm a stickler for the correct spelling at work, because there's a Stephen in the company, and if we end up with each other's mail or phone calls it can be messy, since he is in Germany and deals with customers.)

#27 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:57 AM:

When I was in a fraternity house in Tucson there were three different guys named "Steve," which made for interesting visual effects when a phone call came in for one of us. Three different doors would pop open and three different heads would emerge around door jambs.

Stefan, it's nice to know somebody else spells "Stephen" the way I (or my parents) spell it.

#28 ::: Lee ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:43 AM:

I vote for "Bush's War" just because I want to make DAMN GOOD AND SURE that it doesn't get spun to be Clinton's fault 10 years down the road. They've already fired the first salvo in that campaign.

#29 ::: TomB ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:46 AM:

So when do we get the Cod Peace?

#30 ::: Bruce E. Durocher II ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:23 AM:

I'm not in favor of Bush's War, if for no other reasons than it's not personal enough. Now, Lyndon's War, that's personal.

Anybody else think that the President is going to keep blowing this off until someone comes up with the equivalent of the "Hey, Hey, LBJ" chant to get under his skin? Yep, I thought so...

#31 ::: bad Jim ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:08 AM:

I believe the official name is the "Global War on Terror", or GWOT, including both the Afghanistan and Iraq campaigns, and that veterans who have served in both theaters have complained that they ought to get ribbons for each. (For some reason, "The War Against Terror" and the "Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism" didn't make it.)

We could call it "World War W", "World War dubious" or the "War to Reelect the President", or WREEP, as in, "as ye sow, so shall ye WREEP".

#32 ::: Martyn Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:19 AM:

War? What war? Did somnebody say there was a war going on?

Oh, Iraq. That's just a police action, helping some friends get back in business after an enforced hiatus, a police action, that's all. Its not a war, no sirree, not a real war. After all, if it was a real war America would be winning.

They may be Mr Bush's friends, but they're certainly not ours.

How about 'The let's kill a few of ours and a lot of theirs to make sure we stay rich war'. It might not be snappy but it is descriptive.

How about 'The riverside war'. Think about it. Think about studying.

'The which war?'

#33 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:26 AM:

Only Halliburton has the right to name that war. It's in the fine print in their no-bid contract. Dick Cheney will choose whatever name he wants when he writes about it in his memoirs after he retires from public service.

#34 ::: Paul Duncanson ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:46 AM:

Christopher B. Wright said at #10
The War of the Poseurs

I have been thinking of this one and the so-called Gulf War and the bit in Afghanistan collecitvely as "The Wars of the Bushes." Adopting that name or Mr Wright's would probably require someone to rewrite the Bard.

#35 ::: Bruce Baugh ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 06:02 AM:

To me it seems pretty obvious that it'll end up being "the American occupation of Iraq", coming after "the multi-phase American-Iraq War of 1991-2003". There never was real peace in that time, what with mass murder via sanctions, the constant occupation of Kurdish territory, and all. It's just that different mixes of force were at work in different years. Then the war ended with Hussein's overthrow, and since then it's been occupation, precisely as in the Philippines a century ago.

#36 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 06:13 AM:

Like I said in the thread where this first came up, and considering who is nominally in charge of the war, and hoping that George Lucas doesn't sue for copyright infringement...

The Clown War.

#37 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 06:39 AM:

Paul: How about just the Bush Wars?

#38 ::: Josh Jasper ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 07:21 AM:

This is the uprising of a colonial state. Call it the Iraq War Of Independence.

#39 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 07:24 AM:

Something I firmly believe - and tried to express in that sonnet - is that there's a certain futility in trying to name the war yet. We can suggest, but we'll probably be way out.

Whatever the people in charge try to call this war, it probably won't stick, or won't stick in the ways they want it to. Likewise, the stated reasons for going to war will be long forgotten, and many of the real reasons with them. Who was Jenkins, and did he really want to be remembered purely for his ear?

Posterity has a way of getting things wrong, which makes the sort of reputation-watching Bush has been trying to do ultimately futile. (Ironically, when posterity gets it right, it's usually even worse.) I think Jimmy Carter is doing a better job of looking to his future reputation than any other President in history.

I always remember a passage from Don't Know Much About History:

Pop quiz: Who fought the French and Indian War?
Wrong.

This is not to say that the truth will not come out, and be known, but it won't be what percolates into popular culture.

(Can I just say how cool it is to see my sonnet on the front page of ML? Cool, but sad, because I can't fill the gap we all perceive.)

#40 ::: Bryan ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 07:36 AM:

I don't like the name codpiece war because it is just too open to punning. Right off the bat I am tempted to announce "May the Piece of Cod be upon you!" and that can't be good.

However I think The CodePeace War sounds like a marvelous Sci-Fi title.

starts as:

Tuttle, an accountant on an old and not very important planet named Earth is bored at his job, he daydreams all the time about being Flex SpaceCod, the silver-suited Avenger of Ganymede but the most adventurous parts of his day seems to be getting the new code files in his in-message beam and sending out the old code files in his out-message beam.

One morning he is late for work, his message beam however is not at all colorated as he had supposed, but has only one single white spot. One code in. But it is a code like none he has ever seen before, at first it looks like it has bits of corrupted Haliburton virii in the polygleams but that soon proves incorrect or at least incomplete, there are definite traces of Haliburton but with their eigen-indexii scrambled.

Sensing that there is something funny Tuttle takes an early morning break and heads down to the local diner, taking the code with him in a small beaker of insoluble codewarp. He needs to talk to Jenny the greasy-spoon cook. Jenny always has sharp advice.

#41 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 07:43 AM:

Well, speaking as another Stephen (the actual spelling of my name) each side gets to name the War the way it wants. Many wars have different names depending on whose telling the story. Although I've been calling it Gulf II, upthread somebody said Gulf III and that maybe more correct, but it needs to be said this way:

(big anouncer voice) Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Coming to the Sandbox it's Gulf War 3! Let's get ready to ruummbblle!

#42 ::: Sarah S ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 08:25 AM:

The Hundred Years War.

But then, I fell down the stairs again today, so I'm feeling bleak.

#43 ::: jim ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 08:36 AM:

The 03-09 War (on the model of the 14-18 War), if we're lucky.

#44 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:05 AM:

Hundred Year Haliburton Hell?

Crony Conflict?

Greeted as Liberator Lie?

Can't We All Just Get Along?

#45 ::: steve ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:08 AM:

That is a wonderful poem. It seems to imply a really great name for whatever the thing is : Dubya's Codpiece.

#46 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:11 AM:

"May the Piece of Cod be upon you!", Bryan?

"Kneel before Cod!"

#47 ::: Bryan ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:17 AM:

one nation under Cod.

#48 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:17 AM:

I think of a bunch of Episcopalians milling around, handing each other bits of fish.

It's not a pretty sight.

I like "The Bush Wars." I just hope historians won't call it "the Mesopotamian misadventure that led, some years later, to the second American Civil War, and the ultimate collapse of the United States."

#49 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:19 AM:

(sung to the tune of SPAM)
Cod, Cod, Cod, Cod, Cod!

Somebody had to do the Monty Python joke.

#50 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:26 AM:

No, Steve, somebody did not have to make that Monty Python joke. (Muttering to self: darn, he beat me to it.)

#51 ::: Suzanne ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:29 AM:

The Bush Family Intergenerational Perceived Endowment Disparity Compensation War?

Or, y'know, Operation Little Sproing!


#52 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:38 AM:

Suzanne,

codpiece + sproing

I'm not sure I like where this is leading.

#53 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:47 AM:

Serge @46:
You know Teresa always says about blow jobs in the Oval Office...but eeeew.

Xopher @48:
Well, depending on how much you're willing to stretch it, isn't that the Eucharist? But it's less the sight that scares me than the smell, after a few days. Unless it's battered and fried, ahd there are chips in neat little cardboard dishes in the pews.

Steve @49 and Serge @50:
Believe it or not, I wasn't expecting that.

#54 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:50 AM:

Bush War II.

#55 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:51 AM:

Heheheh, abi... Say, would you like this person in the White House in 2008? He trashed the whole place when he first showed up, in 1980.

#56 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:57 AM:

My first thought, Serge? Not with that beard.

Which gets me thinking. When did facial hair disappear from American politics? Are there a lot of mustachioed or bearded politicians that I'm just not seeing? I am kind of far away, and don't watch a lot of TV, but everyone seems to be clean-shaven these days.

#57 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:59 AM:

Abi #53, "I wasn't expecting that."

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. (Cod help me, I'm on a roll. Must. Do. Something. Else. Lest I. Reiterate. Python All day.)

#58 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:02 AM:

Yes, Abi, I'm one of those mustachioed and bearded politicians (even had a pony-tail when I was elected), but unless you get our local GVTV, you probably haven't seen me.

Also, Steve LaTourette sports a beard and mustache.

#59 ::: Scott H ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:04 AM:

I suspect that the current conflict will ultimately be recorded as one of the following:

World War III
The Seventh Crusade
The Iraqi Civil War

If they let me name it, I'd call it

The Chickenhawk Crusade

#60 ::: Scott H ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:06 AM:

Oooh! or

The Iraqi Oil Heist

#61 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:08 AM:

I actually have a beard like Zod's, abi. Ask MLers who've met me. (When I went to Lisa Goldstein's autograph session at LAcon, she also said something about my not being as young as she had pictured me. Or something about my hair not being as dark as she envisionned. Either way, it was a crushing blow. But I digress...) I can't think of any mustachio'ed or bearded poltician, thes days. I remember when Al Gore tried to grow a Captain Nemo beard and so many people made fun of it that it promptly disappeared.

#62 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:08 AM:

Steve B @57
That was, of course, the line I was referencing.

#63 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:12 AM:

Hey, I like beards. My dad has one, and I keep trying to get the Hub to grow his back. I just didn't realise until I saw that link that I never see them on American politicians.

#64 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:16 AM:

What we see a lot pf with male politicians, abi, are Shatner Turbo 3000 toupees. Is it my imagination that Republicans are more likely to go for those than Democrats?

#65 ::: crazysoph ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:17 AM:

Uhm, apologies, I've been run over by an inspiration, appropo to the comment wondering about getting under GWB's skin

(The linked comment references "Hey, hey, LBJ..." Try this, maybe?)

"Bush! Bush! Yer life's so cush!
How many dead kids under yer tush?"

Uhm... I can't quite believe I'm typing that here for you guys. *deep breath* Okay, if it's horrible, I'll take my lumps.

Crazy(but apparently the only sane response in a r**lity-based world)Soph

#66 ::: Sarah S ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:22 AM:

abi

In re: beards, check out the excellent discussion of them in MacKay's great book Memoirs of Extraordinary Popular Diversions and the Madness of Crowds: Chapter one, Volume Two: "Influence of Politics and Religion on the Hair and Beard."

#67 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:25 AM:

Bush's Folly...

#68 ::: JC ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:25 AM:

#39: abi:Pop quiz: Who fought the French and Indian War?

No, it's not clear from the name that the French and Indians were on the same side in that war. (My 7th grade Social Studies teacher made a big point of it though.)

(Can I just say how cool it is to see my sonnet on the front page of ML? Cool, but sad, because I can't fill the gap we all perceive.)

Congratulations. This may be a good time to impart a bit of wisdom I received from Jonathan Tunick. He's the premiere orchestrator for musical theater of our time. He's having a second career of sorts right now reorchestrating musicals for reduced forces. (Sometimes, these are musicals for which he wrote the original orchestrations.) He remarked the reason he's been successful at this is because he does not think of the job as coming up with a new orchestration which takes the place of the original, albeit with small forces. He can't do, with fewer instruments, everything the original did. He makes the new orchestration do its own things, to be a good orchestration in its own right.

It sounds obvious, but it isn't. I've heard enough reduced orchestrations to prove that.

As for naming the war, it might be worth waiting to see if this escalates into a broader regional conflict against the US. I wouldn't put it past this administration to lock future administrations into a path they can't leave.

#69 ::: Jon Sobel ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:47 AM:

Everyone's heard Roy Zimmerman's "Chickenhawk" song, right? Roy's the Tom Lehrer of our time, if you ask me. Here's a snippet.

#70 ::: Christine ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:47 AM:

Yanno (tm, Miss Snark) it strikes me that the last time this country was under the thumb of a man named George, who thought he could boss us around, we had the American Revolution.

Something in the Declaration about "throw off such governments and assigning new guards for their future secutity." I may not be exact in the wording, but you get the idea.

Hmmm....

#71 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:56 AM:

abi #39 and JC#68 French and Indian War.

The Indians were actually on both sides as mercenaries and partisans. One could think of that war as a three-sided conflict (British, French, Native Populations) and as the first World War (as the conflict wasn't limited to the colonies but included European, Caribbean, and I think African holdings).

It was also Geo. Washington's only major defeat where he was forced to sign a capitulation letter in French (a language he didn't know) which included a clause where he admitted to having killed the French Ambassador (whose name escapes me at the moment) which ignited the conflict to a larger scale than just a border war. The involvement of a native called Little King in this affair is especially interesting (as is his history).

#72 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:56 AM:

A chant?

Georgie, Georgie, bomb and gun,
Went to Iraq and made the blood run,
When the truth saw light of day,
Georgie, Georgie ran away.

#73 ::: Kip W ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:58 AM:

Repeating myself from the other thread -- I didn't realize the discussion had moved:

Vietnam II?
The War of Unintended Consequences?
Halliburton's Windfall?

...PNACkered?

#74 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:01 AM:

JC @68,

I appreciate the wisdom, and not just in this context. (I'm working on recasting a ballad I wrote years ago as a sonnet, and I think I need to take another cut at it in the light of that advice.)

I reference Mike Ford in writing sonnets here because he was our sonnet guy, not because I'm writing them entirely in imitation of him. This isn't my first foray into the form. I'd stopped writing them about ten years ago, after a decade or so of sporadic efforts, because I never really saw anywhere you could go with them. Reading Mike's work showed me otherwise, but also intimidated me.

When he died, I realised that if I ever wanted them to be any good, I was going to have to write more sonnets. I'm trying to get back into the pace of them, so the meter is a habit and the rhymes come easily, because it's only then that the content controls the language rather than the reverse. I have a ways to go, and I know it. It's open to question whether I have any talent in the area, but I don't think that will be detectable until I inhabit the form more comfortably.

I write things that relate here because I think a lot about what gets posted here. Some of those thoughts fall into the rhythm and the rhyme, and some of the results get stuck in the comments box. I'm conscious that that may be intrusive, and that worries me, but I reckon a stupid sonnet can be as easily ignored as foolish prose.

I mean both clauses when I say, "I am not Mike Ford, nor was meant to be." I'm conscious that, posting them here, I'm reminding people of a loss that I can't fill - I'm not him, and I'm not a part of people's lives here the way he was. But I'm not trying to become him, or write what he would have written.

#75 ::: Faren Miller ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:01 AM:

For now, I'd call it the Lousy Occupation.

#76 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:07 AM:

"I am not Mike Ford, nor was meant to be."

Do your own thing, abi. I've never met Mike, but he probably would have been honored to be the one you want to emulate.

#77 ::: JC ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:20 AM:

#68:abi: I reference Mike Ford in writing sonnets here because he was our sonnet guy, not because I'm writing them entirely in imitation of him.

Sorry. I didn't mean to imply that I thought you were imitating him. My apologies if I've offended you.

What I meant, and what I understood Tunick to mean, was that one shouldn't worry about filling losses. It's better to focus on doing the best work one can do instead.

(I mean, I write sonnets too, but, so far, I limit them to birthday cards.)

#78 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:23 AM:

The "W Made Destruction" war

#79 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:24 AM:

JC @77

I'm not offended. I wasn't sure whether this was - finally - the challenge to my presumption ("Hey, you can't write sonnets here! This is Mike's turf!"), or what I hoped you meant, which is what you did mean. If you see what I mean.

Shorter me @68 would be "I'm not writing to fill the gap, which may be a good thing, because I know I don't."

So when do we get to see a JC sonnet on ML?

#80 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:26 AM:

Serge @76

From what I hear of his character, I think Mike would like the idea that his example has encouraged people. This doesn't mean you can blame him when the sonnets he inspires are no good...

My own thing is the only thing I can do. I learned that ten years and one nervous breakdown ago.

#81 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:30 AM:

My own thing is the only thing I can do.

Exactly, abi.

#82 ::: Caroline ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 11:57 AM:

(Apologies in advance to Bryan #40.)

The CodePeace War:

"Renowned accountant Tuttle staggered through the grungy archway of Jenny's Diner. He lunged for the nearest stool he could see..."

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was the Code part that incited me.

abi -- I used to write a lot of sonnets -- they were my preferred form for writing about ambiguous or difficult themes, because the form demands clarity of expression. Mr. Ford's example had been prodding me to start again. Good on you for doing it.

#83 ::: Sean Bosker ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:10 PM:

I tried to come up with names and realized that the war needs a name, but so does the era of Bush's terms in office...the attack on science, the move toward theocratic government and away from the Bill of Rights is all part of a broader change, a rolling back of the enlightenment. The dawn of a new dark age, the American Talibanic movement.

The war:

Chimpgate

LIAdR (Liberate Iraq and Democratize the Region)

PNAC Attack

The era:

The Regression

Neo-theocratic Age

The Rollback

The Torture Years


#84 ::: Anne Sheller ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:12 PM:

I am so glad that Jesus didn't do a loaves and fishes thing at the Last Supper. I just can't see Communion as a wafer, a sip of wine, and a shred of anchovy.

#85 ::: Stargeezer ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:12 PM:

It is NOT nor has it ever been a war. It started as a bloody invasion and is now a brutal occupation.
Stargeezer

#86 ::: Alex Cohen ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:24 PM:

It's a pity that "The Children's Crusade" is already taken.

#87 ::: Margaret Organ-Kean ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:33 PM:

Re 72 - Ursula

I like it.

But I'd suggest changing the second line to

Went to war and made blood run

I think it scans better - but then what do I know?

Georgie, Georgie, bomb and gun,
Went to war and made blood run
When the truth saw light of day,
Georgie, Georgie ran away.

#88 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:40 PM:

#87

You're right. The "the" adds an extra syllable that messes up the verse. As does two-syllable "Iraq" vs. one sylable "war."

#89 ::: John Mark Ockerbloom ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:45 PM:

For what it's worth, here are some Library of Congress authorized subject headings:

Iraq War, 2003-
Afghan War, 2001-
War on Terrorism, 2001-

These won't necessarily be names for the ages (LC only got around to shifting from "Vietnamese Conflict" to "Vietnam War" as the preferred subject heading for that war within the last year.) But they do identify commonly used names for these wars at the time the wars started needing names.

Then they have the cross-references, other terms seen in the literature that didn't make a main entry, but were worth noting. Here's the list for those:

For Iraq War, 2003-:
Anglo-American Invasion of Iraq, 2003-
Gulf War II, 2003-

No cross-references given for Afghan War,
though it has a "broader term" reference to
"War on Terrorism. 2001-".

For War on Terrorism, 2001-:
Enduring Freedom, Operation, 2001-
Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism, 2001-
Global War on Terror, 2001-
Noble Eagle, Operation, 2001-
Operation Enduring Freedom, 2001-
Operation Noble Eagle, 2001-
Terror War, 2001-
Terrorism War, 2001-
War against Terrorism, 2001-
War on Terror, 2001-

#90 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 12:58 PM:

Operation (BUZZ!)

Remember when military names weren't choosen for maximum PR affect?

#91 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:08 PM:

there ought to be something that has
"extraordinary rendition" in it.

#92 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:18 PM:

Second Undeclared US-Iraqi Conflict?

I really think it should be clear that in the US, only Congress can declare war, and they haven't.

#93 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:27 PM:

I'm suddenly hearing the song title from an old Jim Croce song:

"I've Got a Name."

#94 ::: Martyn Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:31 PM:

I watched them induct Brian Wilson into the UK Music Hall of Fame last night, so it has to be Cod only knows.

Isn't it fun to be hysterical about something so bloody awful?

#95 ::: James ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:32 PM:

War Without End, Part 1

#96 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:35 PM:

Friendly Upscale Conflict Known to be Universally Popular.

#97 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:43 PM:

Today's column by Molly Ivins has a few quotes from our favorite Don Rumsfeld. If I may, I'll list a few...

3. "Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said."

4. "I don't do quagmires."

5. "I don't do diplomacy."

6. "I don't do foreign policy."

12. "If I know the answer, I'll tell you the answer. And if I don't, I'll just respond cleverly."

13. "I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it's what I said."

#98 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:44 PM:

By the way, was WW2 called that while it was going on?

#99 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:47 PM:

Re: Communion, and the loaves and fishes: According to Marvin Harris (In Cows, Pigs, Wars & Witches), the early Church started with an obligation to feed the fellowship through “love feasts” (meals shared in love). After becoming the official religion of the Roman Empire, the Church became the empire's “soup kitchen” (where the poor went to be fed). The Church grew tired of this burden, and feeding the fellowship was scaled back to a once-a-year abstraction of a meal (the wafer and a sip of wine) in Communion.

#100 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:47 PM:

I can't remember, was it "Cat in the Hat" where they figured out where something was, by figuring out all the places it wasn't? Seems to sum up the Bush Administration's approach to figuring otu where all the WMD's are:

By blowing the hell out of all the places they are not.

Probably a war name in there somewhere.

#101 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:50 PM:

Alex Cohen @86: It's a pity that "The Children's Crusade" is already taken.

How about “The Idiot's Crusade”?

No, they'd say we were insulting the troops, when that wasn't where the insult was aimed...

#102 ::: pmm ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 01:50 PM:

I just don't know how to spell it:
Iraqcupation?
Iroccupation?
Iraqupation?

#103 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:08 PM:

Greg London @100:

No, it wasn't the Cat in the Hat, though I can't place it.

But the Cat in the Hat Comes Back has a very good metaphor for what GWB has been doing about terrorism.

If you recall the story, the Cat creates a pink bathtub ring, and then uses a number of different mechanisms to try to clean it up (a dress, a wall, shoes, a rug, a bed). Each iteration cleans the previous item but simply moves the mess onto the next item. Then the Cat and his helpers (smaller cats who live in his hat) use milk, a TV and a fan to blow the ring out into the yard. This sprays the snow outside with pink goo. Their cunning plan is to use violence on the pink spots:

My cats are all clever.
My cats are good shots.
My cats have good guns.
They will kill all those spots.

But shooting at the pink spots just spreads them further. The children keep asking the cat to stop, and it keeps ignoring them and adding more cats to the effort. Eventually the whole yard is pink. The cat claims that this is all part of the plan, and finally releases something called VOOM. The VOOM cleans up all the pink and shovels the snow off of the path to boot.

So, back here in the real world, the snow is starting to look pretty damned pink. The cats are all out of the hat and shooting at pink snow wherever they can. And I don't see any VOOM (is this where the Rapture comes in the plan?)

#104 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:12 PM:

I favour "Bush War". Pronounced Bahston-style as "Bushwah".

#105 ::: Alex Cohen ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:23 PM:

Well, maybe "The Child's Crusade."

#106 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:28 PM:

The Iraq ClusterBush

#107 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 02:37 PM:

James @ 96

Oh yeah. That one is entirely correct.

#108 ::: Neil Willcox ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:06 PM:

I've found the changes in the names of wars (and other historical events) fascinating. For example:

What Americans call the French and Indian War, we in Britain call the Seven Year War (or rather a part of it that embarassingly went on for 9 years).

What I've always known of as the Indian or Sepoy or Great Mutiny (or some permutation of those; previously referenced on Making Light) is called by Indians, the First War of Indian (or National) Independence. (When Brits and Indians meet the polite thing to do is refer to that event as The Great Rebellion, which is also more accurate than the other two names).

George R R Martin mentioned somewhere that the war he knew as the War of the Three Henrys had been renamed The Wars of Religion (due to socioeconomic forces having become more popular than Great Men).

I think that naming this war after a casus belli is unlikely, for more reasons than I can type just now, so we'll probably go with a geographical tag, unless something really memorable occurs. Of course, we don't know what the most memorable thing about this war will be until it's over.

#109 ::: John Mark Ockerbloom ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:23 PM:

Cat in that Hat comments:

@100: It's not in the book, but I believe the Cat in the Hat TV Special (the one with Allan Sherman) involves finding something that Cat has missed by eliminating everywhere it isn't. (Checking Wikipedia; yes, they mention it too.)

@103: I think I've seen at least one commentator remark on the nuclear overtones for VOOM in _Thc Cat in the Hat Comes Back_. I'm hoping this doesn't give the administration too many ideas... (Checking Google; yes, there's a New Yorker article online making the same association; a rather silly article in many ways, but I also was reminded of it myself when I first read the story to my kids a while back. Of course, there's only so far you can take the analogy and still be able to contemplate reading the book as a bedtime story...)

#110 ::: Melody ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:26 PM:

For those of us with a theatrical turn of mind....Rumsfeld's Follies?

#111 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:27 PM:

#103. So that would make it something like

The Voom War

#112 ::: Melody ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:30 PM:

Oh nutz, TomPaine stole a march on me.

#113 ::: joann ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:39 PM:

Neil Willcox #108 Ithink that naming this war after a casus belli is unlikely, for more reasons than I can type just now

How about the War of Non-WMD? An assumed casus belli, accurate, and possibly reasonably memorable.

#114 ::: Edward Oleander ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:46 PM:

Bush War II.

Could also read: Bush II War

or even: Bush II War II (Bush II War I being Afghanistan)

(ps: Melody suggests the Sold War)

#115 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 03:46 PM:

For those of us with a theatrical turn of mind....Rumsfeld's Follies?

Sure, Melody. Could the choreography be done by the director who did Springtime for Hitler?

#116 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 04:07 PM:

The War that brought Al Queda to Iraq?

#117 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 04:07 PM:

George's Al Queda Recruiting Poster War

#118 ::: Steve Buchheit ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 04:17 PM:

Fight for Unitary Balkanized Arab Republics

#119 ::: joann ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 04:51 PM:

Bush League War

#120 ::: Martyn Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:15 PM:

#98 - Serge

The bloody war. 'fuck' was only used by intellectuals over here in those days, and not in polite company.

Hey, that's progress.

#121 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:29 PM:

George's Al Queda Recruiting Poster War

#122 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:30 PM:

The "George Bush wants YOU to join Al Queda" War

#123 ::: rm ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:30 PM:

abi @103:

Greg London @100:

No, it wasn't the Cat in the Hat, though I can't place it.

It's the animated TV special of _The Cat in the Hat_ which presents the very scientific method of finding the missing "moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza" (begone, Mr. Freud, you are not needed here!) by labeling every place it is not with a code number in permanent marker: L-103, 2736B, and so on. All set to music.

One of the first left-bloggerian names for this war was "Operation Inigo Montoya," as in the _Princess Bride_ character who says "Allo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You [strike "killed"] [allegedly attempted to kill] my father. Prepare to die."

So . . . I dunno how to combine all this concisely, but this is the War to Avenge the Alleged Attempted Mass Destruction of the Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Gredunza by Process of Extreme Elimination.

#124 ::: Thomas ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 05:47 PM:

My favorite is "The War of the Texas Succession"

#125 ::: TomB ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 08:55 PM:

Operation Enduring Bush

#126 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 09:54 PM:

What to call the war?

A disaster.

Even Tony Blair said so, according to what I read on the Huffington Post today. It's interesting though to hear why he thinks it's a disaster. Here goes...

Tony Blair went close last night to admitting that the invasion of Iraq had been disastrous. Challenged in an interview on Al-Jazeera's new English-language channel that the Western intervention in Iraq had "so far been pretty much of a disaster", he gave a brief agreement before swiftly moving on.

He said: "It has, but you see what I say to people is why is it difficult in Iraq? It is not difficult because of some accident in planning, it is difficult because there is a deliberate strategy, al-Qaeda with Sunni insurgents on one hand, Iranian-backed elements with Shia militias on the other, to create a situation in which the will of the majority for peace is displaced by the will of the minority for war."

Sigh.

History will not be kind to Bush's Poodle.

#127 ::: adamsj ::: (view all by) ::: November 17, 2006, 10:07 PM:

Boys II War (girls, too, so this one isn't really accurate, but I like it, like it, yes I do)

#128 ::: philS ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 07:25 AM:

The War of Mass Deception?

#129 ::: Graydon ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 09:02 AM:

It's a tad crude, but I think I favour "the shrunk dick war".

Especially since you just know Mr. Cheney thought he was being oh-so-grand-strategically -clever and forestalling the Chinese by blocking their access to oil, whatever he told the Shrub and whatever twisted Freudian issues were driving same lamented vegetable.

#130 ::: Vicki ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 11:43 AM:

Today Blair's spokesbeing is saying that no, he didn't mean it was a disaster, he just likes to repeat what interviewers ask him. Which makes one wonder what else El-Jazeera could have gotten him to admit, if true.

#131 ::: Will A ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 12:11 PM:

O Occupation, wherefore art so named?
For in the word imperial echoes sound:
The thump of Nazi boots in Vichey France,
Or toasters marching through New Caprica.
Deny thy many fathers and refuse
To be so called an Occupation.
What's Occupation? Neither war or peace,
A kind of civil war set to slow boil
And bubbling faster now. Be something else!
What's in a name? That which we call a Bush
By any other name would smell as sweet.
So this war would, would this not a war called.

(Apologies to all. Couldn't resist.)

#132 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 04:25 PM:

It's the animated TV special of _The Cat in the Hat_ which presents the very scientific method of finding the missing "moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza" (begone, Mr. Freud, you are not needed here!) by labeling every place it is not with a code number in permanent marker: L-103, 2736B, and so on. All set to music.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that I'm not losing my mind... So how about:

The Gredunza War

Hm. Is there a clinical psychological name for being unconvinced of the non-existence of some threatening thing, and the psychosis manifests itself by the patient destroying all the places it might be? There are some pretty specific psychosises out there, so thought it couldn't hurt to ask.

#133 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 07:31 PM:

We're all agreed that it's a bloody shame
that Georgie's little war in Arab land,
though in the news, has not yet got a name
that history will use to understand
just how the Yankees got into this mess,
and how they drew in that ass Tony Blair;
that gives a simple label to the process
which brought the dragon war out of its lair.
We've got some names, names formal and names cute,
we call it Dubya's War, or simply Occupation,
refer to George appearing in a flight-suit,
or else to problems when you build a nation.
And, if we hesitate, or seem to ponder, well
for the Iraqis this whole thing is hell.

#134 ::: Will A ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 10:22 PM:

Fragano & Abri, I salute your superior skill with rhyme.

#135 ::: rm ::: (view all by) ::: November 18, 2006, 11:38 PM:

#129: It's a tad crude, but I think I favour "the shrunk dick war".

I forgot to call the shade by its proper name, so it kept haunting the thread. Begone, Dr. Freud. That should do it.

#136 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2006, 04:45 AM:

Fragano,

Well done. Particularly the final kicker.

#137 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2006, 09:47 AM:

Will A #134: Thanks.

Abi #136: I do my best. Thanks.

#138 ::: Madison Guy ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2006, 04:17 PM:

To Kenneth "Cakewalk" Adelman, it now seems to be Rumsfeld's War. Being a neocon means never having to say you're sorry. Kicking a friend when he's down and out (of the Defense Department): Not that the Donald Rumsfeld doesn't deserve it, but with friends like Kenneth Adelman portraying him as totally delusional, who needs enemies?

#139 ::: Dei ::: (view all by) ::: November 19, 2006, 06:39 PM:

Can I say I'm liking the sonnets and rhymes dotting this thread? Keep them coming.


Alas, having far less poetry in my soul, I preferred the original title given to all the various actions purportedly against Al-Queda: The War Against Terror. Its acroynm is just the perjorative to describe the conduct of Bush and his cronies since 2001.

So this would be the Mesopotamian Edition of 'The War Against Terror'...

#140 ::: Ken ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 08:56 AM:

It could be The War That Made Iraq Safe For Terrorists, except that Iraq isn't safe for anyone right now.

From our Brit POV it is perhaps the 4th or 5th Iraq War. So for the Iraqis it must be the Fifth British Invasion. Or the Second American War.


#141 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 09:21 AM:

The antecedents of this one should be pretty clear:

Before I'd name the war, I'd ask to know
What I was calling "in" and calling "out",
And how this situation's like to grow.
It's clarity we've too long been without.
New York, Afghanistan, Madrid, Iraq,
Guantanamo and London, Bali too;
Iran and North Korea, from the talk,
And then Peoria? and me? and you?
We move in darkness, as it seems to me
Not of fear only, but a shades of lie
That hide the places we become less free
And trumpet out the ways that we could die.
Until we get so used to constant strife
That we don't call it war, but normal life.

#142 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 09:36 AM:

Re: #123: Maybe "Dubya's Classic Blunder". As in, "The most famous is 'never get involved in a land war in Asia' ".

#143 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 11:31 AM:

Abi #141:

We've got a war with no front and no rear,
the enemy is one that we have made,
yet we cannot get our slow arses into gear.

The enemy is both far distant and near,
by devious means we know that he is paid,
we've got a war with no front and no rear.

The truth's been told but we don't want to hear
things that might put our leader in the shade,
yet we cannot get our slow arses into gear.

We've told the public all the lies they'll bear
and now they seem to want us all to fade;
we've got a war with no front and no rear.

We've called the enemy both dark and queer;
but now he's vanished into the parade
yet we cannot get our slow arses into gear.

We'll win this war, by all that we hold dear,
there's still a load of lies we have not said;
we've got a war with no front and no rear,
yet we cannot get our slow arses into gear.


#144 ::: Faren Miller ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 11:50 AM:

On another thread, someone mentioned OIF -- which I guess was the government's original name for this war (at least in the first weeks of the invation): Operation Iraqui Freedom. These days, the acronym could stand for Occupation is Futile (or F*cked).

#145 ::: Mark DF ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 01:54 PM:

The Freedom War.

It will go done in history as the only war everybody lost.

#146 ::: Madison Guy ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 07:38 PM:

I'm starting to wonder if the real name won't just be compressed by history into the Iran War Part I.

Combining the gradualist approach of Barack Obama (and other Democrats) with Sy Hersh's New Yorker piece this week raises the ultimate nightmare scenario: Hanging around Iraq, one more Friedman at a time, until the only solution seems to be attacking Iran? Will the Democrats wake up and call a halt to the administration's plans for Iran before it's too late?

#147 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 08:38 PM:

re #144: No, the original (and short-lived) name for the initial conflict was Operation Iraqi Crusade.

#148 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 08:42 PM:

Re: #144, 147: I had read that it was originally Operation Iraqi Liberty, before someone noted the unfortunately apt acronym.

#149 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 08:54 PM:

Re: #146: Along the same lines, I was thinking Shrub War I (aka Shrub War Iraq)... followed by Shrub War II (aka Shrub War Iran). I hope you're right, and that there's enough Democratic (and Republican, and military) opposition to a wider war. I could see that started, and left as a mess for next administration. Then the Republican candidate in 2012 would campaign on how poorly the Democratic administration was managing the war.

#150 ::: miriam beetle ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 11:00 PM:

rob,

wouldn't shrub war i be afghanistan?

#151 ::: miriam beetle ::: (view all by) ::: November 20, 2006, 11:03 PM:

although,

i got to say i like the way that "shrub war iraq" & "shrub war iran" make them sound like seasons of the real world.

what was that about living in a facsimile?....

#152 ::: L M B MacAlister ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2006, 02:06 AM:

These days, I tend to just call it "this damned war." But I suspect history won't be kind to Dubya. My votes for the name:

1. The War of Embarrassment

2. The Iraq Debacle

Question asked by child in 2036: "Mom, where was Iraq?"

#153 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2006, 02:41 AM:

wouldn't shrub war i be afghanistan?

Yes, you're right. I was thinking of 'I' as both the numeral and the initial (for Iraq and Iran) and forgot Afghanistan because it didn't fit that pattern.

#154 ::: elizabeth bear ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2006, 09:02 AM:

Has anybody linked Keith Olbermann here yet?

Olbermann on lessons learned in Vietnam

#155 ::: dilbert dogbert ::: (view all by) ::: November 23, 2006, 11:04 AM:

In another blog someone talked about how Viet Nam had the "best and brightest" crew doing the "march of folly". How about a contest to name this wars "best and brightest"? How about "Dumb and Dumber"?

#156 ::: bryan ::: (view all by) ::: November 23, 2006, 06:27 PM:

I think some variation on Dumb and Dumber would be good, reasons: Dubya is dumb. This war is dumber than anyone imagined it could possibly be. Dubya sounds sort of like dumb. World War 2 is often referred to as WW2.


Dubya Dumber Two.

When the going goes dumb, shame on you, when the dumb gets dumber.. shame on.. dumbed again.

It is really a rather euphonious nickname he has isn't it?

how about a Dumb Dubya, a children's book.

One could have pages with nice pictures and lines lines about Dumping Dubya in the Dumpster or maybe dropping Dubya down the drain.


#157 ::: bryan ::: (view all by) ::: November 23, 2006, 06:59 PM:

"Could the choreography be done by the director who did Springtime for Hitler?"

Rush Limbaugh steps on stage, he sings:

Things were bleak for conservatism
despite a hero without jism
a paragon of virtues great
who really knew how to orate
and to the folk communicate
like the folk likes us to do

reelection was not for sure
soon our majesty might be forgotten
then, god bless his imprimatur,
We got some help from Bin Laden (Twin towers fall in back)

The complete keyboard warriors chorus line joins in:

Now its -
Flowers For Rumsfeld and Cheney too
Coal lumps for Demos and Crats
this war is Dubya Dumber two
The Iraquis - better have good welcome mats


step step turn (shoot iraqui child)

Flowers for Neocon politicos
missions accomplished for votes
Jeff Gannon has a pretty nose
those aren't grenades that he totes

shimmy shimmmy wiggle turn (torture dead iraqui child)

Bush comes on stage: Wait a second wait a second wait a second
What are you doing torturing that child.

pro-torture pundit looks up from torturing the child: I'm torturing the child.

Bush mugs for the audience and does wide arm waving: I CAN SEE THAAAAAT

drum roll.

Bush sings solo: I never ordered you to torture a child, wink wink
I do not think it is the thing to do, wink wink
However it does not look like you are doing what I see that you are doing

soldier: wink wink

Chorus line joins: We do not torture but reserve the rights, wink wink
to do whats necessary in a fight, wink wink
the body's dead and starts to stink
wink wink, wink wink, wink wink

Bush: Blink blink!

When torture is done by us, which it ain't
it doesn't have that criminal taint,
cause it ain't, we've passed a law to legalize
when we need to kill, maim or sodomize,
which is a depth to which we don't sink!

ALL: Wink, wink.

Bush: Blink, Blink

All: Wink Wink!

Bush: Sorry, I mis-stated.

All: Never mein Fuhrer, blink Blink!


Bush (sotto voce): That kid is really starting to turn.

Limbaugh: Yes, he's gone bad alright. completely Arabic.

-------------------------------------------

hmm, I guess I won't write the part where Cheney comes on stage and sings: Arabs are people too (they taste great with wine)

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