Yeah, Abi, showing us all the dire threat posed by cats worldwide. We are truely under their collective thumb, you know, until there's a bright patch of sunshine on the floor, and then we'll all be saved.

But, yeah Abi!

Posted May 30, 2007 11:05 AM by Steve Buchheit

I, for one, welcome our feline overlords.

Posted May 30, 2007 11:24 AM by Nangleator

By the way, CatWoman was on TV last night.

Posted May 30, 2007 11:33 AM by Serge

LOLcat for the Makers
John Dunbar (c. 1500)

I that in heill wes and gladnes
Am trublit now with great sicknes
My sicklie stait is no surprise:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.

Death sovran is of all the tubez,
Of rich, of poor, of l33t, of n00bz;
No mortal shal escaip his eyis:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.

Al flesh is dust; we are but bones;
Baith knight and maid he freely pwns;
Against his glanse brooks no disguyse;
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.

He draws al to his dark bucket;
Whoe'er ye be, ye're surely f***kit;
The Walrus wil not sympathise;
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.

Our base are al belong to Death
And have done since our natal breath
(This point I'd like to emphasise):
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.

Posted May 30, 2007 11:40 AM by ajay

Abi: I'm beginning to worry as to quite why I have cats...

ajay: Most excellent. I can see we're in for a treat on this thread.

Posted May 30, 2007 11:52 AM by Jakob

Eatin ur mouses an axin fr milk…

I don't know of any cat who asks for anything. A cat who demands, yes... Nonetheless, I enjoyed your poem in spite of the gross error in its biological facts.

Posted May 30, 2007 11:55 AM by Serge

ajay @4
kekeke

Posted May 30, 2007 11:57 AM by abi

If I knew 12th century Tuscan, I could go further than

UR IN HEL NOW

LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA :-(

Posted May 30, 2007 12:01 PM by ajay

>UR IN HEL NOW
>U SEEZ A LAKE OF BURNIN FIRE
>U HAZ NO HOPE

N

>BEATRIZ IZ NOT THIS WAI

E

>BEATRIZ IZ NOT THIS WAI

S

>O NOES U IS EATIN BY A GRUE
>KTHX BAI

Posted May 30, 2007 12:06 PM by Jakob

Ajay, the definition of a three-point round of cataplexy is when something is so funny that it makes me fall out of my well-braced chair. It doesn't happen often.

You shoot, you score.

Posted May 30, 2007 12:15 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

Text-based Divine Comedy. Fantastic. Why has no one thought of this before? Though the later levels of the game could be a little dull.

>You are on the Sphere of the Fixed Stars.
>Several thousand cherubim are here.
>St Bernard of Clairvaux is here.
>Beatrice is here.

CONTEMPLATE GOD'S LOVE

>You contemplate God's love.
>Time passes...

CONTEMPLATE GOD'S LOVE.

>You contemplate God's love.
>Time passes...
>St Bernard of Clairvaux is talking about Faith.

LISTEN TO BERNARD

>He is a saint, you know!

LISTEN TO ST BERNARD

>St Bernard of Clairvaux discusses the nature of Faith for a canto and a half.
>Time passes...

CONTEMPLATE CREATION

>You meditate on the Creation.
>St Bernard of Clairvaux has finished talking.

UP

>You ascend to the Empyrean.
>EMPYREAN
>God is here.
>The Virgin Mary is here
>St Anne is here.
>Beatrice is here.

FEEL BLISS

>You feel bliss.

And so on.

Posted May 30, 2007 12:16 PM by ajay

#5, #7, #10: Gosh. IM IN UR THRED SWELIN WIF PRIDE.

Posted May 30, 2007 12:19 PM by ajay

Les minous
Sont tous fous.

Posted May 30, 2007 12:48 PM by Serge

Have you seen this one yet? :-)

I is a kitty and I has good fun
I is entertaining everyone
Dint used to be an internet icon
Till my mom got a digital Nikon

Posted May 30, 2007 1:38 PM by Garrett Fitzgerald

abi, as always, is wonderful.

Inspired (if that is the word) by ajay and with profoundest apologies to William Dunbar and, of course, our noble hostess:

I that in heill wes, and gladnes,
am trublit now with grete seikness,
and feblit with infermitee;
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

The stait of noob doth never vary,
ne'er sound, ne'er weill, bot alwaies sary;
baith riche and puir of all degre,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

She takis the haxor in the stour,
the Bushite closit in the tower;
hir awfulle strak may no troll flee:
TNH disemvoelleth mee.

Art-magicianis and astrologis,
rhetoris, logicianis, and theologis,
thame helpith no conclusionis slee;
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

I se that regulars maun not escape,
for all that they do bow and scrape;
all are cast into deepeth sea,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

Good maistre Gregory Londoun
could nat escape in the afternoon;
and manie mair in this countre;
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

Tis a mattre of grete regret
we see na mair Public Radio Vet;
for all that he lacked curtesye,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

Sen she hath all my brether tane,
she will nat let me post allane;
on forse I maun her next prey be --
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

Sen for the flame remeid is sure,
tis best that we accept the cure.
The mistris proud of all we see,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.

Posted May 30, 2007 2:06 PM by Fragano Ledgister

1 (0u|d 1nd173 4 50nn37 5w337,
17 w0u|d n07 83 4 817 0f 7r0u8|3;
7h3 k377|3 w1|| 4|w4y5 801| 4nd 8u88|3,
1'|| 74k3 7h3 w316h7 r16h7 0ff my f337.
()u751d3, p|4n75 w1|7 1n 7h3 6r347 h347
8u7 1 kn0w 1'm n07 5331n6 d0u8|3;
my 834rd 15 6r0wn, 17 15 n07 57u88|3,
4nd 1 4m 0n3 0f 7h3 6r347 |337.
|\/|y v3r53 w1|| f|0w |1k3 (|34n357 (0d3,
1'm 601n6 70 pwn 7h3 un1v3r53
wh1|3 |1v1n6 w17h my m4m 4nd d4d.
()f 53(r37 1|)5 1'v3 607 4 |04d;
y0u 7h1nk y0u'r3 84d, 8u7 1 4m w0r53,
1'm r34||y, 7ru|y, 7074||y 84d.

Posted May 30, 2007 2:14 PM by Fragano Ledgister

Fragano @ #16, at some point there's going to need to be the equivalent of a ROT-13 translator to make this all clear to the n00bz.

(Or maybe there already is.)

Posted May 30, 2007 2:31 PM by Linkmeister

Bravo, Fragano. I can read everything but the third cluser in the third-to-last line.

Posted May 30, 2007 2:31 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

im in ur fridge
eatin ur plums
sorry
they wuz delish

Posted May 30, 2007 2:31 PM by Mary Dell

im in ur izebox
eetin ur plumz

Posted May 30, 2007 2:33 PM by Dan Layman-Kennedy

Dammit! Crosspostz!

Posted May 30, 2007 2:34 PM by Dan Layman-Kennedy

Whoops, I completely missed the Fragano's preceding Lament. Bravo again!

I thought Public Radio Vet showed grace under pressure. How many people could keep their composure while being growled at by that lineup? He's welcome to come back.

Posted May 30, 2007 2:37 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

Linkmeister #17: There is, if you use Firefox, the leetkey add-on, which is what I used to write the thing. L337 h4x0r 1 4m n07.

TNH #18: That's 'IDs'.

TNH #22: Thanks! I too hope PRV comes back.

Posted May 30, 2007 2:44 PM by Fragano Ledgister

We're off and running.

Almost every time we've done a Making Light game, I've thought to myself, "Of course, nobody's going to do _______," and then they do. The other time was when Patrick told me nobody would recognize Tolkien as written by Gerrard Winstanley, and by the time we got home from work that night, two people had identified it.

Posted May 30, 2007 2:45 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

im in ur dezert makin u dispair

Posted May 30, 2007 2:54 PM by TexAnne

Posted May 30, 2007 3:07 PM by Howard Peirce

From OT 84:

i 8 ur plumz, although I now realize that it should have started "o hai!"

Posted May 30, 2007 3:08 PM by Larry Brennan

With very, very, very deep apologies to Geoffrey Chaucer:

Whanne that Septembre doth the summer ende
vnto the schooles the myriad noobs do wende;
they think nat of the trouble and the frette
that they will cause vpon the Internette.
In daies long past svch swaines wee did nat see
vntille they reched college or vniuersitie,
bot nowe at everich schole compvters waite
instrvmentes alike of childish loue and hate.
As sone as youngstre on the net doth logge
bot thatte hee (or shee) doth make an blogge,
opon the uuiche the bratte doth lightlie write
of matteres simple and of svbjectes trite:
howe one beth lamer, yet another leet,
and howe they never shalle knowe defeat.
Gentillesse and chivalrie do soffre rout
whanne these yonge men and women doe come out;
whilom there was on the Nette true cortesye
bot nowe gode manners doe from the Webbe flee.
UUee elders loke, and we ovre heads doe shake
and uuonder whether twas alle an mistake.
One thing there beth that doth drive us bats,
and thatte is all those swivinge lolcatz!

Posted May 30, 2007 3:09 PM by Fragano Ledgister

What interests me is the lack of actual cats attached to the text.

Posted May 30, 2007 3:12 PM by Diatryma

My husband posted this to his LJ a few weeks ago. I think I got about 2/3 of the way through before I realized what he was up to.

Posted May 30, 2007 3:20 PM by Natalie

What interests me is the lack of actual cats attached to the text.

Which is disappointing as if we had a lot of cat poems, we could make a musical from them. If the costumes were good enough, we wouldn't even have to come up with a plot.

Since I can't rhyme anything this evening:

The cat sits legless
No response when I enter
She is not a dog

Posted May 30, 2007 3:24 PM by Neil Willcox

Where's Schrödinger's Cat?

Posted May 30, 2007 3:24 PM by Serge

I laughed so hard at "INVISIBLE PASTICHE" that I ended up whanging my knee off the side of my desk.

On a related note, LOLWho over at I Has a Tardis.

Posted May 30, 2007 3:34 PM by Nomie

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Is Schrödinger's Cat dead?
That remains up to you.

Posted May 30, 2007 3:36 PM by Serge

The talent here leaves me in awe.
I am afraid to write a line
For fear of looking like a fool.
But we all dance to abi’s paw,
Pinning down the slippery rhymes.
The end result is kind of cool.

Posted May 30, 2007 3:37 PM by Mary Aileen

Fragano @ #23: w00t! I do indeed use Firefox, but I had thus far been unaware I needed that add-on. Thanks.

Posted May 30, 2007 3:41 PM by Linkmeister

oh hai! I r fog
I walk on feetz (of catz)
lookin at ur city and stuff
ok goin now

Posted May 30, 2007 3:45 PM by Mary Dell

Anyone who hasn't already seen this via Language Log might be interested in checking it out: IM IN UR LOOP UPPING UR VAR!!1

Posted May 30, 2007 3:47 PM by Zeborah

Abi--I have a younger sister of your name, and was just telling her the other day about the other Abi I knew, and how cool persons named Abi are. I am going to have to print this out to show to her--there will be lolz aplenty, even though I don't think she's discovered lolcats yet.

ajay, Speaker To Managers--brilliance as well!

Posted May 30, 2007 3:50 PM by Nenya

abi, ajay, Jakob

IM IN UR DEBT NOW
LAPPING UP UR POSTS

Posted May 30, 2007 3:51 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

Abi--I have a younger sister of your name, and was just telling her the other day about the other Abi I knew, and how cool persons named Abi are. I am going to have to print this out to show to her--there will be lolz aplenty, even though I don't think she's discovered lolcats yet.

ajay, Speaker To Managers, everyone else--brilliance as well!

Now I really must go or I'll get no work done this afternoon...

Posted May 30, 2007 3:54 PM by Nenya

In ML games I'm mired.
I sink in catlike sloth.
I'm going to get fired.

My workstation is wired
To 'nets as if in troth.
In ML games I'm mired.

Those minds I have admired?
They draw me like a moth.
I'm going to get fired.

My lunch break has transpired.
To get to work I'm loth.
In ML games I'm mired.

For sysad I was hired.
I'll make my bosses wroth.
I'm going to get fired.

Of I.T. I'm so tired.
I'm cut from different cloth.
In ML games I'm mired.
I'm going to get fired.

Posted May 30, 2007 4:07 PM by Mary Dell

(halp, doublepostz! but the poesy was worth double praise)

Posted May 30, 2007 4:40 PM by Nenya

i in ur japan
sevent33n sy11ablez iz
rly shrt peomz

Posted May 30, 2007 4:52 PM by Xopher

Nenya,

For my part, thank you. But I've been far, far outdone on this thread.

As, indeed, I expected to be. And am happy to be.

When I grew up, I was the only Abi or Abigail anywhere. The name has since exploded into popularity, which has not yet ceased to bemuse me.

Posted May 30, 2007 5:11 PM by abi

Ajay @ #4: love it

Posted May 30, 2007 5:21 PM by Mary Dell

o hai
I'm in your fic
seducing yr legolas

Posted May 30, 2007 5:43 PM by eric

eric @ #47

seducing yr legolas

LOL

Posted May 30, 2007 6:09 PM by Mary Dell

Hai
Im waibak in time in Arachosia killing ur klopts.
Suzdal R God.

Posted May 30, 2007 6:51 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

Im in ur twisty passages
eatin ur plover
plugh

Posted May 30, 2007 6:53 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

Hai
im in ur doon
h8ting on bene gesserit

Posted May 30, 2007 7:01 PM by Fragano Ledgister

Hai
I R Vulcan
I have no emotionz
LOL

Posted May 30, 2007 7:03 PM by abi

Im in ur DRM
eatin ur rights
mousey tastez better

Posted May 30, 2007 7:12 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

Fragano 51:

hai
im in ur seech
drpwning ur wurmz

Posted May 30, 2007 7:14 PM by Xopher

Felines, nothing more than felines,
trying to pick up my felines that play
Yarn balls rolling on the floor,
trying to pick up my felines that play

Felines, wo-o-o felines,
Wo-o-o, felines jump outta my arms

Posted May 30, 2007 7:19 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

hai
Im in ur put0r
Bug huntin

Posted May 30, 2007 7:26 PM by Dave Bell

I l0v dm litl mouseyz
Mouseyz what I l0v 2 eat
Bite teh litl hedz off
Nibl on teh tinE f33t

Posted May 30, 2007 7:39 PM by Jon Meltzer

Xopher #54:

Hai

Im in ur selamlik
pwning ur padishah

Posted May 30, 2007 7:39 PM by Fragano Ledgister

o hai!
i'm in ur n3utr4l zon3
annoyin teh romulanz
pwnx0rin ur shi3ldz
LOLz!

Posted May 30, 2007 7:52 PM by Larry Brennan

#33 More LOLWho at http://nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com/1312928.html

Posted May 30, 2007 7:56 PM by Alan Braggins

I'm not writing, but I give you the ultimate cat cartoon.

Posted May 30, 2007 7:58 PM by Marilee

Im in ur dezrt
feedin ur despr
lol kbye
Pzymdns

Posted May 30, 2007 8:06 PM by adamsj

Im n yr crypt st4kin yr s1r3
h3 g0tz n0e s0l3z nao 4ft4r t3h butts3cks LOLz
kthxbai

Posted May 30, 2007 8:31 PM by Julie L.

James Dobson Projecting, Tellingly, Onto His Cat

**

I maded you a promise to uphold your house
But I sunked ur bones in quick-destroying limes
And turnt ur flesh to timber for all time
Toppled ur bucket; lold ur boughs
And eated your ecstacy that miaos
Pushed u, sir, to the point where
U bore a little more than u could bear

Not the arch and
Not the corner
Of this noble fabric u has builded
But I made your laundry gilded
And for my second work of grace
I freed u up some counter space
Hid in curtins.
Saw u there.
U bared a little more than I could bare.

K sorry
Sorry
I atone
In dismal sorrow
Wif this cone

Posted May 30, 2007 8:47 PM by Rebecca Borgstrom

Im in ur slushpile
workin on my psychosis

Posted May 30, 2007 8:48 PM by Mary Dell

Julie L, I beg to differ. This is the ultimate cat cartoon.

Posted May 30, 2007 8:53 PM by Nancy C

In re:
"I that in heill wes and gladnes
Am trublit now with great sicknes
My sicklie stait is no surprise:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ."

Timor kitteh conturbat meh! LOL! You rock!

Posted May 30, 2007 9:04 PM by Kiwi

Nancy @66: m4r1L33 iz in yr #61, p01nt0rz @ t00nz.

I iz tyg4r burn1nz br1t3
In yr f0r3stz 0f t3h n1t3
WHUT da m4x l33t h4ndz 0r 3y3z
Fr4m3z0rd mah f33rfl 5mmtryz?

In yr sekr1t d33pz n skyz
In yr b4s3 pwnin yr guyz
C4n iz I t3h w4r3z b1n h4xt?
C4n I h4z sum pr0n plzthx?

Tyg4r iz l33t burnz0r d00d
1ns1de yr b4s3 34tin yr f00d.

Posted May 30, 2007 9:21 PM by Julie L.

*sigh*

I have never had such a good time while simultaneously being made to feel really stupid by so many cool people.

Posted May 30, 2007 9:47 PM by Lila

This is way harder than I thought.
This is all I got:

ATEOTD, it wuz drear-age
i wuz thinkin, pwned, an phr33kage
r34din pr0n, an playn warez.
i in ur bed, take ur nappin,
wehn dis haxor getz kekeke'in,
kekeke'in @ my skreenage.
sum trolz wuz eatin lamerz,
IMHO, LOLz.

IIRC, it wuz Decembrage.
N da luzzers wuz pwnage
as i ROTF.
ZOMG, I wantin 2B L8R,
i STFW, WTF? W/E
i searchin 4 d tweedler.
4 d GR8 tweedler haxor,
no alias no RL no more

Posted May 30, 2007 10:00 PM by Greg London

IM IN UR MEMRY
BEIN ONSTAGE

I've been trying to come up with something better than that all day. I bow to you, Fluorosphere, for you are great.

Posted May 30, 2007 10:07 PM by Diatryma

oh, hai,
We can has heavenz and erz?
Im in ur void, separatin ur darknez
We can has expanz?
We can has bukkits?
Im in ur plaz, gathrin ur lanz
We can has veg?
Im in ur lanz, goodin ur seedz
We can has litez?
Im in ur sky, makin ur daz
We can has prey?
Im in ur lanz, kindin ur live
We can has catz?
Catz has likenez.
Rly ok, thx

We can has rest?
Has rest
oh, hai
We can has detalez?
Im in ur fields, formin ur duzt
We can has edin?
Im in ur faz, makin the rulz
We can has peeps?
Im in ur sleep, takin ur ribz
Invisible clothz
BRB
Rly ok

U can has frutz?
Do not want di
Teh frutz is lava
U can has wizdim?
want frutz
death has a flavor lol
oh, hai, back, wheru?
Visible figleef
OMG rly sori
Invisible legz
Invisible desirz
Visible sweatz
Visible sword

Posted May 30, 2007 10:14 PM by Kathryn from Sunnyvale

Julie L: Oops!

2 b r no7 2 b
iz qu3s710n

mmm sunb34m

b

Posted May 30, 2007 10:38 PM by Nancy C

In ur l337 jun6|3
5|33p1n6 2nite

TUNA? kthxbai!

Posted May 30, 2007 10:45 PM by Tania

Okay, now I'm ashamed of myself. And this is harder than it seems!

Posted May 30, 2007 11:06 PM by adamsj

HAI SAM

IM IN UR HAUS,
IN UR BOX,
WIT UR MAUS,
WIT UR FOX,
ON UR TRAIN,
IN UR CAR,
IN UR RAIN,
IN UR DARK,
EATIN UR GREEN EGGZ AND HAMZ.

Posted May 30, 2007 11:07 PM by Daniel Martin

Im in ur Xanadu,
eatin ur laudanum.
Oh noes! Doorknock!

Posted May 30, 2007 11:51 PM by Eric K

|_|r 8453 4m 1 1n
|16h7-5483r1n6 ur d00dz
m3 7h3 f0r(3 15 w17h
L()LY0d4

Posted May 31, 2007 12:04 AM by Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers)

1m 1n ur (453 |\|16h7m4r3 6r33n
n188|1n6 0n ur 73n74(|35
(h3wy, k7nx841

Posted May 31, 2007 12:22 AM by Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers)

Doodz, ths txtng ant 4 uz
dnt lol tht aino way.
me hooby ris sardonicus
iz riz n out, kk?

sumcatz txt cz thr noobs & dum
mayB they aino pandit
Bt me try til me hed is num
I still can't understand it.

Posted May 31, 2007 12:47 AM by Dave Luckett

me@70: OK, I give up. I tried to come up with a stanza where the Raven says Nevermore and got bupkiss. Nothing. Nada. I'm tapped.

Posted May 31, 2007 12:50 AM by Greg London

Dood, im in ur = ack! hairball!

Posted May 31, 2007 1:15 AM by Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers)

hai,

Catz sleepin anywhre, 'ny tabls, 'ny chairs.
T0p uv piano, windoe-ledge, in da middul, on de edge,
0pn drawz, emty shooz, ennybody's lap ull do.
Fitted inna cahdbord bx, innda cubbord wit ur froks,
'Nywhre! We's don't care! Catz slep 'nywhre!

kbai - i's sleepin now

Posted May 31, 2007 1:26 AM by Kate Salter Jackson

Me, too, Lila, me too.

Posted May 31, 2007 4:15 AM by pat greene

O HAI
IM OZYMANDIAS
RSPCT MA AUTHORITAH

Posted May 31, 2007 4:57 AM by ajay

#72:
o hai
im jacob
im in ur canaan
begettin ur chosen peeps

o noes! invisible angel!

Posted May 31, 2007 5:25 AM by ajay

me@70: OK, I give up. I tried to come up with a stanza where the Raven says Nevermore and got bupkiss.

I MADED YOU A STANZA
BUT I DELETED IT

or

DOOR RAVEN IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE

Posted May 31, 2007 5:45 AM by Del

R LOLcatz could walk
r dcentlee stalk
down Olympus they fell
from ze armz of miz MkngL33t

Tho 10 yrs in al
wr conzumed by teh fall
we cd has missed ur cheezburger
n hax0red less sw33t

was sonst noch? der LOLkatz hackt gern ein Webserver/am Abend im Rechenzentrum/das stkrt die Verdauungskraft/und l33tet die Cheezburger..

Posted May 31, 2007 5:53 AM by Alex

R LOLcatz could walk
r dcentlee stalk
down Olympus they fell
from ze armz of miz MkngL33t

Tho 10 yrs in al
wr conzumed by teh fall
we cd has missed ur cheezburger
n hax0red less sw33t

was sonst noch? der LOLkatz hackt gern ein Webserver/am Abend in Rechenzentren/das stkrt die Verdauungskraft/und l33tet die Cheezburger..(repeated to post to pluralise "Rechenzentrum" and fix rhyme scheme)

Posted May 31, 2007 5:54 AM by Alex

IM IN UR LAB
IN UR BOX
AM I DED
ONLY KWANTUM THEERIE KNOWZ

Posted May 31, 2007 6:31 AM by Jon Meltzer

I blame the muses here. For the idea I mean; if the stresses or rhymes are off, it's entirely my own fault.

On the Production of Luminosity

All hail the glorious Fluorosphere!
All knowledge is found on this site
Bookbinders, knitters, are found here
And many more are Making Light.

This is a gift economy,
The currency: posts shining bright
We lay them out for all to see
and hope they please at Making Light.

We may be frivolous sometimes,
But never ignore others' plight,
Humane and kindly are our minds
This is the strength of Making Light

We speak round here of matters that
Do challenge those that have great might
And yet we speak here too of CATZ
For we are great at Making Light.

From dinosaurs to sodomy,
Our threads are woven; and the sight
of tapestries produced thusly,
graces the walls of Making Light

A band of poets too is here
Each spurs another to great height
My humble contribution this
To the discourse at Making Light

A final thought: the posts you see
Teresa's pruned, oft through the night
So let us all with comity
produce our best at Making Light

Post scriptum:

A thanks to posters all from me:
You help me check my thoughts are right,
And this is why I'm proud to be
A commentor on Making Light

Posted May 31, 2007 6:39 AM by Jakob

Lila@69:

I have never had such a good time while simultaneously being made to feel really stupid by so many cool people.

Natalie@30: Wow! That's really cool. I suppose I should go and post saying so there....

(I got what he was doing right in the prologue, though, since I remembered who Cats was.)

Posted May 31, 2007 6:47 AM by David Goldfarb

Kathryn from Sunnyvale @ #72: excellent.

Posted May 31, 2007 7:53 AM by Mary Dell

hai, i iz in3g0 m0nt0y4
u KOS mai f4th3r
DIAF

Posted May 31, 2007 8:31 AM by Greg London

I don't think this really works but:

im in ur h31mz d33p
killin ur guyz
uruk hai

Posted May 31, 2007 8:34 AM by Neil Willcox

Rich man can has girl.

Bngli: i can has dance?
J4N3: k
l12: i can has dance too?
DarC: no u ugly go way
l12: LOLz
Bngli: BRB

MrC0lnz: l12 i can has heart?
l12: no gway
Chrltt: u can has me
MrC0lnz: K BRB

Wikm: IM IN UR TOWN SEDUCIN UR DAUTERS
lyd14: o hai

DarC: i can has heart?
l12: no gway u rude

l12: IM IN UR PEMBERLEY ADMIRIN UR STUFF
DarC: hai
l12: OMG thought u were AFK!!1!

J4N3: OMG K17y & Wikm BFF
l12: WTF?
lyd14: i can has wikm, k?
Wikm: i can has $$$? LOL
DarC: k

Bngli: hai, back. i can has heart?
J4N3: k lol
DarC: back
l12: thx 4 ur help
DarC: i can has heart?
l12: k lol

Posted May 31, 2007 8:42 AM by abi

abi: u can has me kthx!

Posted May 31, 2007 8:45 AM by TexAnne

Neil,
It works.

Everyone,
Wow. I'm delighted to be so thoroughly outclassed so many times.

And I can't convey how strange it is to see my name over & over again in the Recent Comments section. The background processing section of my brain, which catches on things that the foreground should stop and pay attention to, has a bad case of the hiccups as a result.

LOLz

Posted May 31, 2007 8:52 AM by abi

abi can has me admir31n6n355
me hat3z be sm4rt357 1 in r00m
n3v3r 4m w/ abi h33r

Posted May 31, 2007 8:54 AM by Xopher

s33krit msg 2 eggzopher: im in ur yah00 ritin u emailz!

Posted May 31, 2007 9:06 AM by TexAnne

I R TUCHIN LIVE WIRES
HAI VOLTAGE

Posted May 31, 2007 9:21 AM by Jakob

Surely it would be:

Im on yr pallid bust of pallas,
quothing yr nevermore?

Posted May 31, 2007 9:22 AM by Jo Walton

LOLbeats:

1: OH NOES!!1! Mah bestest minds asplode!

2: Can I has new rebirth of freedom?

Posted May 31, 2007 9:39 AM by Howard Peirce

One more LOLbeat:

IM IN UR ROADZ BUMMIN UR DHARMA

Posted May 31, 2007 9:45 AM by Howard Peirce

Jeepers.

Not only most of Western literature as text, but a three-beat villanelle from Mary Dell?

Holy leaping two rhymes throughout, Batman.

Posted May 31, 2007 10:17 AM by Dave Luckett

OH NOES !! I IS SUDDENLY TRANSFORMD INTO MONSTRUS INSECT !!

[ "Hey, guys, you won't believe the size of the bug I just squished in Gregor's room." ]

Posted May 31, 2007 10:20 AM by Emmet

OH NOES !! I IS SUDDENLY TRANSFORMD INTO MONSTRUS INSECT !!

[ "Hey, guys, you won't believe the size of the bug I just squished in Gregor's room." ]

Posted May 31, 2007 10:20 AM by Emmet

Macavity iz Mystery Cat; can has Invisible Paw.
Iz master crimnl, breakin all ur law
Scotland Yard no can has him, Flyin Squad no wai,
4 when they in ur scene of crime, Macavity AFK.

Posted May 31, 2007 10:24 AM by Malthus

#91: as so many others, this goes well to the tune of "The Ballad of the Green Berets".

Which of course makes me think of:

W1llrd: omfg still in saigon!!!
W1llrd: saigon=teh lam3
W1llrd: am st0nd
W1llrd: BRB
MPGuy: o hai
MPGuy: UOK W1llrd?
W1llrd: I can has missn pls?

W1llrd: im in ur base
W1llrd: eatin ur shrimp
GNRL: Krtz gon nutz!!
GNRL: total phsycko
GNRL: psycho sorry
GNRL: LOL
GNRL: u ownz0r Krtz?
CIADUDE: ownz0r wif xtrm prejudice
W1llrd: k

K1LG0R: charlie ur pwned!!
K1LGOR: am on ur beech
K1LGOR: surfin ur wave
K1LGOR: LOL
CHARLIE: im in ur huey
CHARLIE: im blowin u up!!! ur pwned GI!!!
K1LGOR: o hai i can has napalm?
USAF: k
USAF: visible napalm
K1LGOR: kthx
K1LGOR: mmm smellz
K1LGOR: beer!!! LOL

KRTZ: im in ur jungl
KRTZ: extrminatin ur brutez
KRTZ: W1llrd ur pwned!
KRTZ: ur soldr W1llrd?

Lance: wher ru W1llrd?
Lance: I can has B-52?

KRTZ: teh horror!
KRTZ: teh horror!

Posted May 31, 2007 10:39 AM by ajay

I r 1shma3l

Posted May 31, 2007 10:43 AM by adamsj

im in mi monastery
doin mi job
all nite
writin wurdz

pangurcatz in mi monastery
doin his job
all nite
catchin micez

i can has wizdum
he can has micez
weez gud (practiz!)
uz LOL

Posted May 31, 2007 10:45 AM by Eimear Ní Mhéalóid

I'm enjoying this thread, even though text messaging is mostly a MrE 2ME. (I guess 2B R NO2B is too obvious -- not that I really know how to text that either!)

All this, plus the occasional cat....

Posted May 31, 2007 10:55 AM by Faren Miller

I can has peach?
O HAI MERMAIDZ! kbai :(

And a LOLbeat for Howard Peirce:

im in ur heroenn vishun
havn teh buttseks

Posted May 31, 2007 10:56 AM by Dan Layman-Kennedy

IZ IN UR HORS
TAKIN UR BASE

Posted May 31, 2007 10:57 AM by TomB

At strt wuz l33t
& l33t wuz wth catz
& l33t wuz catz lol

Posted May 31, 2007 11:00 AM by Jon Meltzer

Al cheez is canxd; we must say kthnxbye
We ntrn tonite for teh North
N teh morning will see teh serverz wr doomed to ahax0r;
sno down to teh raisedfloor.
we will lol out thurr

Meanwhile on F6, the LOLcode dev team have finished...sorree..has got a PERL interpreter!

Posted May 31, 2007 11:16 AM by Alex

O HAI. I UPGRADED UR RAM.

Posted May 31, 2007 11:29 AM by Howard Peirce

> IM IN UR MEADHALL EATIN UR GUYZ
> wh@ h4pn!!
> 5umbdy set up utz t3h 6renz0r!!
> hai I r hiro can I has arm?
> OH NOES :(
> oh hai mom
> 4lL UR C4RLZ 4R3 83l0N9 T0 u2.
> i move zig make ur time.
> PWND :( :( :(

Posted May 31, 2007 12:12 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

teh ph3ll0wshp ov teh ring

81L80: i can has pRty!!1!
81L80: kthxby
phr0d0: i can has qi8 lif?
6&lf: no
s4m: i can has lvs?
6&lf: k ttyl

4r460rn: o hai
4r460rn: ping 6&lf
6&lf: [AFK]
nz6L: i can has ring?
phr0d0: i is stabid
Rw3n: hai

Lr0nD: i can has council
80r0mr: gndr can has ring?
6&lf: no.
6&lf: ring is teh bad.
Lr0nD: go break ring b4 we get pwned
phr0d0: kbye

P1P&: i in ur m0r14 dropin ur stonz
84lrg: hai 6&lf
6&lf: o hai
phr0d0: DNFTT!
6&lf: bye

G4l4dr3L: o hai
G4l4dr3L: ping 6&lf
6&lf: [AFK]
phr0d0: u want ring?
G4l4dr3L: nthx
G4l4dr3L: u can has prezents
61ml1: i can has hair?
G4l4dr3L: k
phr0d0: kbye

80r0mr: i can has ring?
phr0d0: no
phr0d0: bye

s4m: i can come?
phr0d0: k

rx: uruk hai*
80r0mr: i is stabid
80r0mr: \a
80r0mr: bye
MRY: i m pwned!
P1P&: me2

-----
* thx Neil

Posted May 31, 2007 12:19 PM by abi

teh 2 twrz

4r460rn: o hai
30m1r: hai
4r460rn: i can has frendz?
30mir: ded
30mir: u can has hrses
4r460rn: kthxbye
30mir: bye

rk: i can has leg?
P1P&: no
P1p&: bye
MRY: bye
Treebeard: Hello.
MRY: hai
P1P&: hai
Treebeard: What are you doing here?
P1P&: we're in ur forest bein ur frends
Treebeard: What odd creatures you are, to be sure.
Treebeard: Hoom.
MRY: R we frendz?
Treebeard: You are very hasty.
Treebeard: I think we need to talk.
P1P&: k

6&lf: o hai
4r460rn: OMG WTF??!?
61ml1: me2
L36ol45: me3
G&lf: ping Th30dn
Th30dn: [no reply]
Wrmtng: im in ur hall controlin ur king
G&lf: gway
Wrmtng: kbye
G&lf: ping Th30dn
Th30dn: ohai thx
G&lf: ttyl

30wyn: i can has 4r460rn?
4r460rn: no
rx: im in ur h3lmz d33p sloterin ur d00dz
G&lf: ohai
rx: i is stabit

G&lf: ohai
MRY: hai
G1ml1: i can has pipeweed?
P1P&: k
S4R-m4n: ttyl
P1P&: i can has shiny rock?
G&lf: no
G&lf: shiny rock is teh bad.
P1P&: i in ur bedrool steelin ur rox
P1P&: o no shiny rok is teh bad.
G&lf: :rolleyes:

phr0d0: im in ur mountains climin ur rox
60lm: i can has ring? preshz?
s4m: no
s4m: 60lm is teh bad
phr0d0: r we frendz?
60lm: k
s4m: 3l3phants! LOL!
f4r4m1r: ohai
f4r4m1r: i can has ring?
phr0d0: no
phr0d0: ring is teh bad
60lm: i can has fish?
f4r4m1r: no
f4r4m1r: ttyl

5h3l0b: I CAN HAS MEAT?
s4m: no
5h3l0b: I IS STABID
s4m: i can has ring
sh4gr4t: i can has hobbit

Posted May 31, 2007 12:20 PM by abi

Sorry, but the third part will be a bit...RL calls.

Posted May 31, 2007 12:22 PM by abi

oh noes! dark!
im in ur old age, cussin
DO NOT WANT!

(Category: villanelle pastiches I won't be completing anytime soon)

Posted May 31, 2007 12:27 PM by Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

I'm not going to even try to write any text, but the soundtrack for this thread can be found here.

Posted May 31, 2007 12:27 PM by dajt

118: Where's the traditional opening "W00T!" ?

Posted May 31, 2007 12:27 PM by Jon Meltzer

im on ur dinosawrs
sodomizin

Posted May 31, 2007 12:28 PM by Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

Assorted:

IM IN UR WEELBARRO
EATIN UR CHIKKENS

HEI LOOK A WADDERS!
FROGGEH BE JUMPIN INXORS
MAKIN SWEET SOUND LOLZ

and

"Tatha, tatha-ta, tatha-agaLOLZ" - Buddha Kitteh

...which of course makes me think of the Smokey the Bear Sutra.

Posted May 31, 2007 12:46 PM by Heresiarch

b0mb4dl: hai d0l meri d0l ring a d0ng dll0
g0ldbry: hez ma d00d
b0mb4dl: give me ring
phr0d0: ok
ring: pwned

Posted May 31, 2007 12:56 PM by Jon Meltzer

288

o hai, Is a noob
Ur not on Utube?
k, b frienz.
oh noes! demographik trenz.

Can has linkz? cuz
I has a blog!
fillin up LJ
is teh slog.

Posted May 31, 2007 1:25 PM by Kathryn from Sunnyvale

c0$t3110: ping 1st
$880tt: WTF?
c0$t3110: dat 2nd
$880tt: STFU
c0$t3110: iz 3rd
$880tt: OMGWTFRUTA?
c0$t3110: datz r shrtstp

Posted May 31, 2007 1:52 PM by Greg London

teh r37urn of teh king

d3n37h0r: ohai
6&lf: hai
MRY: im in ur city pledgin ur oathz
6&lf: :rolleyes:

30wyn: now i can has 4r460rn?
4r460rn: no
30wyn: kbye

30wyn: i can has battle?
Th30dn: no
30wyn: :-(
P1P&: i can has battle?
Th30dn: no
P1P&: :-(

4r460rn: im in ur dedpathz askin ur help
ded: k

nzgl: we on ur plen besegin ur city
6&lf: ohai
Th30dn: hai
Th30dn: i is stabid
nzgl: i can has victim?
drnhlm: no
nzgl: im an admin
nzgl: /kill drnhlm
30wyn: i wuz sockpuppet
nzgl: i is stabid

4r460rn: im in ur city bein sekritiv
4r460rn: don tell
4r460rn: i can has kngzfoil?
4r460rn: kthxbye

f4r4m1r: ohai
30wyn: hai
f4r4m1r: LOL
30wyn: LOLz

6&lf: im at ur blak get massin my armey
mouth: I HAV CLOTHZ
mouth: LOL
6&lf: :-(
mouth: KBYE

phr0d0: ohai
s4m: ohai
phr0d0: i can have ring?
s4m: k
phr0d0: im in ur wasteland sneakin around
60lm: i can have ring nou?
phr0d0: no
phr0d0: ALL UR MIDL ERTH ARE BELONG TO US
60lm: i can have finger
60lm: i is burnid

44r460rn: im in ur city bein ur king
44r460rn: i can have Rw3n
44r460rn: LOLz

S4R-m4n: im un ur Shire doin my harrowin
phr0d0: ohai
phr0d0: gway
S4R-m4n: kbye
S4R-m4n: i am stabid

s4m: i can have red book
s4m: i can have Bag End
s4m: w00t
phr0d0: kbye
s4m: kthxbye

Posted May 31, 2007 1:54 PM by abi

Hm, didn't quite catch the flavor right. lemme try again

c0$t3110: ping 1st
$880tt: WTF?
c0$t3110: WTF b 2nd
$880tt: IDK
c0$t3110: IDK r 3rd
$880tt: OMGWTFRUTA?
c0$t3110: OMGWTFRUTA r ur shrtstp

Posted May 31, 2007 1:54 PM by Greg London

| |n yr thrdz
34tn yr vwlz

Posted May 31, 2007 2:00 PM by Greg London

Abi #130: Er, I think you've got Merry and Pippin backwards (Merry stays in Rohan, Pippin goes to Gondor).

Posted May 31, 2007 2:30 PM by Fragano Ledgister

I've been varying from speechless admiration to laughing-to-the-point-of-collapse.

Bruce Cohen @ 49: Oh. My. God. Brilliant.

(So are all the others, but that one really got to me.)

Posted May 31, 2007 2:57 PM by glinda

Fragano@133: abi thus joins the exalted company of those who can't tell Merry and Pippin apart, including (by her own admission) Ursula K. LeGuin.

Posted May 31, 2007 3:05 PM by Lila

abi

ROTFLMAO. Of course Treebeard doesn't text! Question: is 1 ringtone enough to rule them all?

Posted May 31, 2007 3:13 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

LOLz I am ded.

Posted May 31, 2007 3:20 PM by beth meacham

Ringtone #3 -> nekk1d skycl4d 3lf l33tz!
Ringtone #7 -> dw4rfs whut B4lr0g kan 33tz
Ringtone #9 -> m0rt4l n00b guiz g3tz k1llz
Ringtone #1 -> h4x0r w1t h1z m4d sk1llz
ROFLin ins1de ur b4s3 txtin 0n yr f0ne
STFU suxx0r n00bage coz j00 4ll b1n pwnd.

Posted May 31, 2007 3:33 PM by Julie L.

Regarding Swift:

IM IN UR SATIRE
EATIN UR KIDZ

Posted May 31, 2007 3:33 PM by Diatryma

ajay, the text-based Divine Comedy has me happy beyond all words.

Posted May 31, 2007 3:38 PM by elise

"Oh, very well, just this once. - H00M! -"

Posted May 31, 2007 4:07 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

OH HAI
IM IN UR COPA CABANA
MACKIN ON UR LADY
I CAN HAS DIAMOND
O NOES GUN
BRB
OH HAI
O NOES OLD LADY

...

Had to delurk for this. O NOES, IRRESISTIBLE CONTEST!

Posted May 31, 2007 4:37 PM by flynngrrl

Someone did a later part:

i haz a muse! Achilles-greek is aggressive

Posted May 31, 2007 4:47 PM by BSD

im in ur id - 00dy

Posted May 31, 2007 5:14 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

hai
im in ur gaul
kiln ur barbs
oh noes! b4d l471n!

Posted May 31, 2007 5:20 PM by Bruce Cohen, SpeakerToManagers

Re: 119: the council of Lr0nD needs a slight edit (in bold):

Lr0nD: i can has council
80r0mr: gndr can has ring?
6&lf: stfu n00b
6&lf: ring is teh bad.
Lr0nD: go break ring b4 we get pwned
phr0d0: kbye

Also: this.

Posted May 31, 2007 5:32 PM by Tom Scudder

I had to do it. lolcat as grue

Posted May 31, 2007 5:37 PM by Eleri

[metacomment:
if you're like me, I highly recommend not reading any Emily Dickinson for the duration of this thread. Rly, 2ly, you might find yourself unable to not translate into EmiLOLy. Be like playing with a Langfordian BLIT once too often.]

Posted May 31, 2007 5:38 PM by Kathryn from Sunnyvale

i haz seen best of mah litter
dun in by macros
dragggin selves thru internets
lookin for cheezburgers
LOL

Posted May 31, 2007 5:41 PM by telesilla

Kathryn, you undoubtedly did that on purpose. Shame on you! But I shall resist. I shall be strong. I shall not type things like "i iz ded. WTF! Fly! Catchit!" Nor shall I be guilty of pastiches beginnng "o hai, i iz deth. reddy yet?" No. I has willpower. Bukkets of it.

Posted May 31, 2007 5:50 PM by Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

i iz 0
u?
ru 0 2?
wi iz p41r!
n0 r4t r we b4nd
n0t 0 suxx
t41k 2 mch
i iz 0
u?
ru 0 2?

Posted May 31, 2007 6:32 PM by Xopher

This thread is clearly approching the lolsingularity.

Posted May 31, 2007 6:57 PM by Peter Erwin

Nicole @150,

No, hey, I plead innocent. I'm warning. Go lol anything else in the library. Do lolmagnificats and lolrequiems and lolsimovs all you want. I'm just suggesting that Emiloly's are a little too easy.

Note that when I did this, or even (in another thread) that, I didn't link directly to the texts. Even the YouTube link is merely to a nifty rock song that quotes 288(1).

I'm not making anyone go to their bookshelves. And I myself am resisting the tempta...

Bird can has fame?
Has bitez,
Has mitez,
oh noes, flitz.

-------
(1) and isn't the intarweb wonderful? I'd finished lol288 and was wondering "what kind of spoken-word versions of ED exist?" And there they were, including said Nano-man song.

Posted May 31, 2007 7:04 PM by Kathryn from Sunnyvale

telesilla @ #149, the worst (best?) of that is that the original author would probably love it.

Posted May 31, 2007 7:09 PM by Linkmeister

@152

I can has sun?
Invisible data
I can has starz?
Invisible data
I can has galaksiez?
Invisible data
I can has visible data?
Iz waiting
We can has visible data?
B visible light
kthxbye

Posted May 31, 2007 7:24 PM by Kathryn from Sunnyvale

OK, last one.

> i is king.
> i can has sanwich.
> i is king & i is hungry.
> ping brother richard
> [AFK]

> i can has kipr from brkfst?
> i can has cold kfc, k?
> i is king
> i can has sanwich.

> why ur in my country fitin?
> were in tewx.
> no mustard!
> o noes!
> ping brother richard
> [AFK]

> tuna pasta?
> stfu
> i can has bacon?
> blt?
> i is king.
> i can has sanwich.

> WTF?
> woodvilles in pantry?
> clarence is drinkin my boozes?
> ping brother richard.
> [AFK]

> i is king
> know how 2 run things
> so wtf is with this place?
> i is king
> i can has sanwich
> ping brother richard
> [AFK]

Posted May 31, 2007 7:51 PM by abi

Abi has a Internet.

Congratulations, you have won an Internet. Please collect your Internet from the collection of Internets promptly. If delivery is requested, your Internet will be processed via tubes and can be picked up at your local Internet depot between the hours of nine and three on weekdays and nine and noon on Caturday.

Heee.

Posted May 31, 2007 8:03 PM by Diatryma

O hai m4nz dis0Bdnz
i has hvnli muze s1ng
s8n gets pwnd
G0d cr8z wrld
ADm & EV gettit 0n
s8n pwns G0d
ADm & EV go byez

Posted May 31, 2007 8:10 PM by Fragano Ledgister

Abi #156: Somewhere, the spirit of John M. Ford is smiling.

Posted May 31, 2007 8:16 PM by Fragano Ledgister

drthv8or: i r in ur ship, gettin ur planz
pr!nsxlaeh: iz gotz no planz
rtodeto: w00t!
see3poh: STFU!

l00k: i h8n thiz dezert
rtodeto: w00t! (plaz pr0n)
l00k: WTF wuz dat?
see3poh: was wut?
l00k: plai it agen
see3poh: he sayz it pr0n beelonz 2 ohB1can0B.

l00k: ping rtodeto
...
l00k: ping rtodeto
...
l00k: WTF????
l00k: ping see3poh
see3poh: o hai
l00k: WTF rtodeto?
see3poh: rtodeto plaz pr0n ohB1can0B. go baibai.
l00k: $%(*%$(*%#$*

l00k: ping rtodeto
s&ppl: hai n00b
l00k: i b stabid
s&ppl: pwnd

ohB1can0B: kekekeke
s&ppl: KTHXBAI
l00k: LTNS
s&ppl: i b ded
rtodeto: w00t
l00k: diz droyd saz b ur pr0n droyd.
ohB1can0B: i not has pr0n droyd.

rtodeto: w00t
pr!nsxlaeh: i r in truble, ohB1. plz hlp.

l00k: wtf?
ohB1can0B: n00b, u need b l337.
ohB1can0B: ur fatherz liet saibur.
l00k: i can has liet saibur?
ohB1can0B: yes. u b 1337?
l00k: i nos 1337. iz n00b.

st0rmtruperz: pwnd
nklb3n: i b stabid
st0rmtruperz: pwnd
&roo: i b stabid

l00k: WTF? i n33d be 1337.
l00k: u can maik 1337?
ohB1can0B: yes

ohB1can0B: u can flai us 2 alder&?
h1$0!0: i r in ur p0rt, flyin ur a$$
ohB1can0B: kai
choobahkha: woot!
h1$0!0: i can has munee?
ohB1can0B: sum.
h1$0!0: kthxbai

gr33d0w: hai h1$0!0
h1$0!0: i pai jawbaw
gr33d0w: 2 l8. i r in ur cantina,
gr33d0w: collecting ur a$$
h1$0!0: pwnd
gr33d0w: i b stabbid

drthv8or: i can has pr0n droyd?
pr!nsxlaeh: ESAD
drthv8or: all ur base r belong to us