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January 8, 2008

Who’s Running in New Hampshire?
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 10:57 AM * 122 comments

“You did it… no matter what anybody says about you now, you did it. And you didn’t have to even once take off your boots!”

You think Duncan Hunter had it bad? This may be the first (and only) time that some of these folks are ever mentioned in a major political blog (or any blog at all).

Candidate of the Democratic Party for PRESIDENT of the United States

I hereby declare my preference for candidate for the office of president of the United States to be as follows:

(Vote for not more than one)

“Joe” Biden
Wilmington, Delaware
Richard Edward Caligiuri
Williamsburg, Pennsylvania
Kenneth A. Capalbo
South Kingston, Rhode Island
Hillary Clinton
Chappaqua, New York
“Randy” Crow
Kelly, North Carolina
“Chris” Dodd
East Haddam, Connecticutt
John Edwards
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Mike Gravel
Arlington, Virginia
Henry Hewes
New York, New York
William Hughes
Clayton, Missouri
D. R. Hunter
Amarillo, Texas
William “Bill” Keefe
Hyannis, Massachusetts
Caroline P. Killeen
Castleton, New York
“Tom” Koos
Woodside, California
Dennis J. Kucinich
Cleveland, Ohio
Dal LaMagna
Poulsbo, Washington
“Tom” Laughlin
Santa Rosa Valley, California
Barack Obama
Chicago, Illinois
“Bill” Richardson
Santa Fe, New Mexico
O. Savior
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Michael Skok
Cheektowaga, New York
Candidate of the Democratic Party for VICE PRESIDENT of the United States

I hereby declare my preference for candidate for the office of vice president of the United States to be as follows:

(Vote for not more than one)

William Bryk
Brooklyn, New York
Raymond Stebbins
Weymouth, Massachusetts
Candidate of the Republican Party for PRESIDENT of the United States

I hereby declare my preference for candidate for the office of president of the United States to be as follows:

(Vote for not more than one)

Hugh Cort
Birmingham, Alabama
John Cox
Chicago, Illinois
H. Neal Fendig, Jr.
St. Simons Island, Georgia
Daniel Gilbert
Arden, North Carolina
Rudolph W. Giuliani
New York, New York
Albert Howard
Ann Arbor, Michigan
“Mike” Huckabee
North Little Rock, Arkansas
Duncan Hunter
Alpine, California
Alan Keyes
Darnestown, Maryland
Mark Klein
Oakland, California
Stephen W. Marchuk
Hancock, New Hampshire
John McCain
Phoenix, Arizona
James Creighton Mitchell, Jr.
Lindenhurst, Illinois
Cornelius Edward O’Connor
Palm Beach, Florida
“Ron” Paul
Lake Jackson, Texas
Mitt Romney
Belmont, Massachusetts
Jack Shepard
St. Paul, Minnesota
Vermin Supreme
Rockport, Massachusetts
Thomas G. Tancredo
Littleton, Colorado
Fred Thompson
McLean, Virginia
“Vern” Wuensche
Houston, Texas
Candidate of the Republican Party for VICE PRESIDENT of the United States

I hereby declare my preference for candidate for the office of vice president of the United States to be as follows:

(Vote for not more than one)

John S. “Jack” Barnes, Jr.
Raymond, New Hampshire

Who knew that the Republicans were running someone named Vermin Supreme? Who knew that Billy Jack was still alive? (One of my proudest moments, in a campaign years ago, was when I got a chance to ask him what he, as President, would do about the Thor Power Tools Decision, and watched him look totally blank.)


Technorati icon


Also on the Democratic ballot, but blacked out with Magic Marker:

Mary Ann Segal
New York, New York

For more on all of the candidates, see The Minor Candidate Report.

Comments on Who's Running in New Hampshire?:
#1 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:08 AM:

How come Mitt Romney doesn't have quotes around "Mitt?"

His first name is really Willard!

#2 ::: Mris ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:13 AM:

And are we to understand that Mr. Gravel's passport really says "Mike" while Mr. Huckabee's says "Michael"?

#3 ::: John L ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:17 AM:

Hey, I didn't know we had THREE Presidential candidates from NC campaigning in New Hampshire!

#4 ::: Mary ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:17 AM:

Oh, my. When I first read that, I thought Jim was listing his personal faves in order. I obviously need to start going to bed early again.

#5 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:18 AM:

Romney doesn't want people to notice that "Mitt" isn't his real name. Most people associate "Willard" with a movie about rats. He's trying to buck the recent revealed wisdom that party Republicans are vermin*.


* Note that "Vermin" isn't a party machine candidate. Will irony never end?

#6 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:28 AM:

Polls close tonight at 8:00 pm eastern time, or when all the registered voters in the various towns have cast their ballots, whichever comes first.

#7 ::: A.J. ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:30 AM:

Well, I guess that answers the question: Who actually wants to be Vice-President?

#8 ::: R. Emrys ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:41 AM:

That's not Daniel Gilbert the psychologist, is it? The one who studies, specifically, how people default to believing everything they hear?

Probably not. Too bad, I might have been tempted.

#9 ::: Shem ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:52 AM:

Dal LaMagna? Tweezerman is running for prez? Good Goddess.

#10 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:53 AM:

No, that's Daniel Gilbert, the guy who invented the emergency telephones you see in elevators, who is "spending his grand-daughter's inheritance" to run for president, because "America needs a citizen-statesman."

He came to Colebrook on his Barber Shop Tour, where he discovered that we don't have a barber shop, per se. Imagine his disappointment. He did drop by the newspaper office to give an interview. They ran it after he'd already left town. Had I known he was coming, I'd have gone to see him.

#11 ::: veejane ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 12:02 PM:

Some newsie chased down the registrar who accepted Vermin Supreme's application to run for president. Apparently, Vermin Supreme is his legal name, and when he showed up with his list of signatures and $1000 application fee, he showed up with a Wellington boot on his head.

#12 ::: bellatrys ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 12:17 PM:

Hey, I *saw* a guy with a boot on his head last night as I was walking home down Elm Street. Just like something out of Far Side - maybe that was him?

I also saw some "Vermin Supreme" signs, but there were so many other Ironic Hipster Performance Art signs and stickers downtown by this point that I assumed this was more of the same ("US Outta My Mouth" by "disinformed citizens" was one I recall, tho' it's hard to tell the sincerely whacked from the hiply ironic, ofttimes.)

#13 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 12:19 PM:

Vermin Supreme sounds like a
Punk rocker to me.
I doubt he'll get much traction
In the G.O.P.

I didn't know you primaried Veeps too. That's just silly.

#14 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 12:47 PM:

Vermin ran as a Democrat in the 2004 primary race.

And, now I'm reminded I'd better brush my teeth.

#15 ::: Phil Lee ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 01:44 PM:

John at #3, not only did I not realize NC had three candidates running, but until just now I was unaware that one of them is well and truly illuminated. Randy Crow apparently had his epiphany in 1994 and now fights against the forces of the New World Order, as detailed on the second page of his platform, tucked down far enough so that you might not notice it at first glance. Sorry, Edwards, looks like my home grown candidate of choice has finally arrived! Fnord.

#16 ::: Syd ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 02:30 PM:

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the concept of a candidate named "Vermin Supreme"...

#17 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 02:34 PM:

Syd, it may be his legal name, but I doubt very much it's his birth name.

#18 ::: ethan ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 03:18 PM:

Oh, weird, Ken Capalbo is running for president? I (kind of used to) know that guy!

#19 ::: SKapusniak ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 03:22 PM:

Vermin Supreme?

You know, if CMOT Dibbler ever jumped onto the Celebrity Chef bandwagon and opened a swanky upscale restaurant serving Klatchian Cuisine as chronicled in an accompanying TV Series...

#20 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 03:42 PM:

#17 Xopher: I doubt very much it's his birth name.

What do you mean? Mr. and Mrs. Supreme were very fond of the name Vermin. It's an old family name. Vermin has a sister, Cucaracha, and a brother, Slimemold.

#21 ::: Arthur D ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 03:59 PM:

Stephen Colbert should have run in NH.

#22 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 04:13 PM:

We don't use Diebold machines here in New Hampshire. We use paper and pencil.

Reportedly some precincts are running low on ballots and are sending out for more. There's been very heavy turnout across the state.

#23 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 04:36 PM:

S Kapusniak @ #19, "if CMOT Dibbler ever jumped onto the Celebrity Chef bandwagon"

Must go check copyright date of "Moving Pictures." Was The Food Network just aborning when Pratchett wrote that, I wonder?

#24 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 05:29 PM:

O. Savior? There's got to be a story there.

#25 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 05:31 PM:

Is Richard Edward Caligiuri a doctor?

#26 ::: Neil Willcox ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 05:54 PM:

Is Richard Edward Caligiuri a doctor?

(If no one else is going to bite)

I for one want to see who he'd have in his cabinet.

#27 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 06:05 PM:

No, Caligiuri runs an ice-cream-and-hamburger stand in Pittsburgh, and lives at home with his mom.

She was surprised to find he was a candidate because he hadn't told her he was planning to run.

His goal is to get one vote.

#28 ::: Jon Baker ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 06:43 PM:

For info on the minor candidates beyond PO Boxes, see Minor Candidates. Yes, they even have substantive info on O. Savior (D) and Vermin 'Love' Supreme (R).

#29 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 07:30 PM:

Jim @ 27... His goal is to get one vote

And there I was hoping that Conrad Veidt would run as his veep...

#30 ::: Mary Frances ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 08:07 PM:

This morning's Chicago Tribune had an article on the Minor Candidates in New Hampshire, profiling mostly Stephen W. Marchuk, of Hancock, NH. His announced goal? To win one vote--his son's. He thinks he's going to make it. The rest of the article was rather good value, all about the people that the NH secretary of state has had to refuse places on the ballet--including a gorilla named Colossus G. Benson, who was disqualified becaause he wasn't yet 35 years old.

The article also quotes Vermin Supreme, who claims to be "the only candidate that will fund time-travel research"--jokiingly, according to the Trib.. Hey, I've heard worse campaign promises!

#31 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 08:10 PM:

Mary Frances #30: I have yet to hear better than Rudranath Capildeo, Ph.D. who promised to speed up time.

#32 ::: Dawno ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 08:23 PM:

I was amused to read that Kenneth Capalbo "...received an associate’s degree through the criminal system and the organization he worked for." I'm not quite sure what to make of that.

#33 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 08:35 PM:

James D. Macdonald @ #0: Who knew that Billy Jack was still alive? (One of my proudest moments, in a campaign years ago, was when I got a chance to ask him what he, as President, would do about the Thor Power Tools Decision, and watched him look totally blank.)

Could you unpack that a bit?

(I do know what the Thor Power Tools Decision is, but why is it significant that he didn't?)

#34 ::: Avedon ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 09:04 PM:

I knew Billy Jack was still alive. I think he ran for Pres. in '04 as well, if I recall.

#35 ::: Naomi Kritzer ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 09:10 PM:

Oh my GOD, Ole Savior was on the New Hampshire primary ballot? *dies laughing*

He's a long-time local crank and perennial candidate who grouses loudly about how no one takes him seriously, invites him to debates, etc., etc. I have no idea if he's been on the NH ballot before, but I've seen his name many, many times on Minnesota ballots (for Governor, for Senator...he never aims low).

There appears to be a website with real information about the minor candidates, if anyone's curious who these people are.

#36 ::: Adam Lipkin ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 09:16 PM:

That minor candidates site eventually points to Vermin's home page, which is a blast to read.

#37 ::: ethan ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 09:41 PM:

Dawno #32: Well, the man's from Rhode Island, the state whose capital city was quite literally run by the mafia until the 1970s. And the man who pretty much single-handedly brought them down later became mayor, took a break to serve time for assault (insane, vicious assault, involving both cigarettes and ashtrays, not to mention goons), got re-elected, and then got put back in jail after a massive FBI investigation into the rampant corruption of his administration. Rhode Island has lots of opportunities for "receiving an associate’s degree through the criminal system and the organization" one works for.

#38 ::: Syd ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 09:53 PM:

Xopher @ 17: Somehow, the idea that he chose the name himself is even less comforting...

James @ 20: They're related to the Gits, aren't they?

#39 ::: LMB MacAlister ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 09:59 PM:

After considerable website perusal, I think I'd vote for Vermin Supreme, but he's running in the Repuglican Party, with all the other clowns.

#40 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 10:13 PM:

ethan @ 37... Rhode Island has lots of opportunities for "receiving an associate’s degree through the criminal system and the organization" one works for.

So says ethan, Criminal Mastermind.

#41 ::: ethan ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 10:31 PM:

No, Serge, remember: I'm young yet. I'm a Criminal Mastermind in training.

#42 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:27 PM:

ethan @ 41... Youth isn't an obstacle to Criminal Mastermindness. Lex Luthor started his career at a tender age.

#43 ::: Dawno ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:44 PM:

ethan @ 37 - thank you, that does put things in perspective. I've only been to RI once, took a tour of the CVS headquarters in Woonsocket (it was a business trip, not really the kind of thing I do for fun) and then we turned around and went back to our hotel in Boston.

#44 ::: B. Durbin ::: (view all by) ::: January 08, 2008, 11:45 PM:

So I know that Tom Tancredo withdrew a while back. Hmm. (Of course, I also know that ballots have to be printed well in advance, counted, doouble-checked, counted again after the polls close to make sure the count is correct, yadda yadda. I've been a poll worker* and my parents have been poll officers, so I've gotten to see the whole shebang.)

Incidentally, I am very glad that my state declared a recent set of electronic voting machines illegal because the manufacturer "upgraded" them. A particular set of specs were certified and the maker didn't follow them— bad maker. Anyway, I prefer my county's system, which is basically Scantron with pens instead of pencils. Paper trail AND quick results, non-falsifiable, ballots printed clearly and custom for each election, and it's a system that's been tested for decades. Seriously, why do we need the bells and whistles?

I also like that my state does not allow poll offices to have a majority of any registration. It makes for interesting conversations when you're sitting around.

*In 2004 I ended up helping visually impaired voters fill out their ballots, which means I got to fill out bubbles for most sides of the issues and any number of candidates. It was sad that one lady asked for someone of her party to help so that her ballot wouldn't get screwed up— I, at least, take that sort of position very seriously and wouldn't dream of screwing up somebody else's vote. (Incidentally, I am unaffiliated and was thus acceptible to her, but it was good to retreat behind "I can't talk about that" when she asked for my opinion.)

#45 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 07:14 AM:

American Things I Refuse To Believe In:

1. Presidential candidates called "Vermin Supreme".
2. Towns called "Woonsocket".

Vermin Supreme sounds like an example of Baldrick's trench cooking.
"Take the freshly shaved rat and marinade it in a puddle."
"For how long?"
"Until it drowns. Then hold it over a hot light bulb, get within dashing distance of the latrines, and bolt it down."

#46 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 08:59 AM:

ajay, it gets better. Prince Mongo has run for mayor of Memphis, Tennessee several times, and Tennessee is also the state where Byron Low-tax Looper tried to ensure his victory in a state senate run by killing his opponent, the incumbent, just before the election, when it was too late to get a replacement candidate on the ballot. (It didn't work--not only did the incumbent's widow win as a write-in candidate, Looper was convicted and is serving a life term.) I expect anyone who wanted could dig up examples every bit as entertaining as these in every state of the union, because no state, as far as I know, has a sanity, or even a good sense standard, written into law as a candidacy requirement. Yes indeed, land of the free, home of the often imperfectly oriented towards reality, that's us!

(yes, Wikipedia, I know--but the articles are accurate enough in these two cases to give you all an idea.)

ethan can set me straight, but isn't Woonsocket the place in Rhode Island where half the people are of French-Canadian descent? It's almost certainly an Indian name, though, like other fine American place names such as Yallobusha, Ittawamba, Ittabena, Loosahatchie, Aroostook, Allagash, Snohomish, and many others too numerous to mention. (I'm not going to bring up the subject of unusual placenames in the UK--and I don't mean the Welsh ones, either--because fish, barrel, firearm, really.)


#47 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 09:12 AM:

I'm sure Woonsocket is a name of unimpeachably serious Indian origin which means (perhaps) something like "Prosperous Harbour of the Bright Dawn" or (more probably) something like "Small Bay". It just sounds like a Douglas Adams character.

#48 ::: ethan ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 09:33 AM:

ajay: It's unclear what Woonsocket means, and if the Narragansetts know, they're not telling the martians (i.e., white folk). I tend to call it Eyesocket. It's probably Rhode Island's most insane city, for reasons both various and sundry. And yeah, fidelio, it's very largely French there, which is an oddity in RI. I'm actually not sure of the history of that.

If you're having trouble with Woonsocket, how do you feel about Chepinawoxet? Or Quonochontaug? Or Misquamicut?

...do you feel better about Moscow?

(This is starting to feel like thread-hijacking. Sorry, Jim.)

#49 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 09:37 AM:

ajay # 47

More likely it means something like, "Damn, those palefaced idiots will buy the worst swamp land we've got!"

#50 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 10:05 AM:

It might also mean "What do you mean, 'What's that?' As any fool can plainly see, it's a river/hill/large rock/waterfall/red-tailed hawk/deer/fish/[insert noun]!"--I believe Pratchett has commented on that naming phenomenon.

I do think, though, that Woonsocket predates Douglas Adams, so it's plainly not his fault they call it that.

There's a town in South Dakota with the same name, or there was--the Dakotas tend to loose towns, so it may be gone by now.

#51 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 10:15 AM:

ethan @ 48... It's probably Rhode Island's most insane city (...) it's very largely French there

Hmmmmm...

#52 ::: Dave Luckett ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 11:16 AM:

Good heavens, I come from the land of Yarlarweelor and Grong Grong, from the nation of place names like Widgeemooltha, Borraloola and Coonabarabran. Do you think to impress me with your Woonsocket or your Chepinawoxet? Pfui! I have even heard that the name of the lovely city of Ballarat has occasioned mirth amongst Americans. What cheese, say I.

#53 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 11:41 AM:

Heavens, no, Dave. I'm just saying Woonsocket isn't the only one of its kind in this country. I suspect ethan may have been making the same point, although he can clear that up for us himself.

Ballarat has a lovely sound to it, though.

#54 ::: ethan ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 11:46 AM:

Honestly, I just like saying and spelling the names. Widgeemooltha now gives me similar pleasure.

Serge, I was wondering if you would make that connection. I'm sure they're unrelated...

#55 ::: Dave Luckett ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 11:54 AM:

I have often thought that a registry of Australian place-names would be of use to a writer of science fiction. Not that there's any of them around here, of course.

#56 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 11:57 AM:

ethan @ 54... Riiiiight.

#57 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 12:13 PM:

Rhode Island has lots of opportunities for "receiving an associate’s degree through the criminal system and the organization" one works for.

I tried to get a degree through the criminal system. But I got sent down.

Thank you very much.

#58 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 12:17 PM:

Meanwhile in Walla Walla, Washington...

#59 ::: C. Wingate ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 12:39 PM:

Australia and NZ surely win on quantity, but it's hard to beat Maryland's Boring and Little Assawoman Bay.

#60 ::: JESR ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 01:20 PM:

Ajay @ 47, let me note that the Attorney General of this dampish state (which contains, besides Walla Walla, towns named Yelm, Ping, Pysht, Oyehut, and Washtucna) is named Rob McKenna; I am unsure about the connection between that fact and the number of floods since he was elected.


#61 ::: JESR ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 01:23 PM:

I forgot the most important thing:

In Thurston County there is a perennial candidate who calls himself Prophet Atlantis, and claims, as his profession, "mental health consumer."

There are nights I lay awake and contemplate all possible meanings of that phrase.

#62 ::: Tim Walters ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 01:30 PM:

My favorite American town name is Humptulips, Washington.

Whenever I hear "Woonsocket" I start singing "Moonshadow" with the obvious substitution.

#63 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 01:34 PM:

New Jersey has Ho Ho Kus and a bunch of others. Like a lot of the East Coast though, it has a lot of Old World names.

Long Island has a bunch of them. Narragansett and Chappaqua, to name a couple. There actually was a filk about it:

I'm going through towns whose names are mighty strange,
'Cuz when I got to Jamaica I forgot to change!
Remember, though, that some names that are now familiar are of indigenous origin. Chicago, Michigan*, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, the list goes on. Once you get past the tendency to name the new place "New [name of old place]," or making things up in bad Greek ("Philadelphia" should be, I have it on authority from people who, unlike me, understand Greek, "Agapadelphia"), you get a lot more of them.

My own home town is Okemos, Michigan. Okemos was a Chippewah chief long ago.


*Yes, it's of indigenous origin. The derivation from Yiddish 'meshugeneh', though appealing for many reasons, is apocryphal.

#64 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 01:45 PM:

Let's not forget Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I also rather like the idea of the Canadian town that's called Moose Factory.

#65 ::: JESR ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 01:52 PM:

Tim Waters: it has nothing to do with little Dutch girls.

#66 ::: SI Rosenbaum ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 06:39 PM:

Who knew Billy Jack was still alive?

The St. Pete Times Did.

#67 ::: SI Rosenbaum ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 06:42 PM:

In fact, there are many people of French-Canadian descent in RI; like the Italians and the Irish, they came to work the mills in towns like Woonsocket, Pawtucket, West Warwick. The mills are long gone now, but people in those towns still identify themselves as coming not from the town but from the "mill village" where they grew up. "Oh, I'm not from here," a West Warwick resident might tell you. "This is Arctic. I'm from Phoenix."

#68 ::: Hilary Hertzoff ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 07:16 PM:

Chappaqua, NY is actually north of the city in Westchester county. Though I think you'd have to be a local to know that....

And I can't really talk about towns with strange names, living as I do in Mamaroneck (also in Westchester). I've heard some very strange pronunciations of the town name since I moved here.

#69 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 07:55 PM:

Nobody has yet mentioned the lovely little town of Coxsackie, NY.

#70 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 07:55 PM:

Nobody has yet mentioned the lovely little town of Coxsackie, NY.

#71 ::: Epacris ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 09:28 PM:

Dave Luckett @55 "a registry of Australian place-names" — like the Gazetteer of Australia from Geoscience Australia (Your own CD or free online search)? There's also the Maritime Gazetteer of Australia, from the Australian Hydrographic Service

(I didn't realise we had two places called Mt Buggery, in SA & Vic.)

#72 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 10:08 PM:

Serge @64: Let's not forget Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Hey, I take pride in telling people I was born in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (it is also true).

I have a book (in a box somewhere) telling the stories behind the place names of Saskatchewan. My favorite is that the capital was named Regina, in honor of the Queen. But they named it Regina after it had been picked to be the capital; prior to that, the city had been named Pile O' Bones.

#73 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 10:36 PM:

Rob @ 72... Of course you do realize that I wasn't making fun of Saskatoon. That, plus Walla Walla, was a reference to the movie version of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, when Bing Crosby uses the names as part of a magical incantation.

#74 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 10:36 PM:

Fragano 69, 70: Funny how the very same sentence is true at 69, but patently false at 70.

#75 ::: Dave Luckett ::: (view all by) ::: January 09, 2008, 10:58 PM:

Epacis #71: Nor did I. Probably both mountains command beautiful vistas, which is probably why people keep recommending to me that I should go there.

#76 ::: ethan ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 01:25 AM:

SI Rosenbaum #67: Ah, but how do they pronounce Arctic? Or, for that matter, Warwick?

#77 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 02:45 AM:

Serge #64: Let's not forget Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

My associative link to Saskatoon is Owls in the Family by Farley Mowat. It's right up there with Alvin's Secret Code by Clifford Hicks among the favorite books of my youth.

#78 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 05:36 AM:

64: re Moose Factory - a factory, before it was a building where things were made, was a building where things were traded. Canton, Shanghai and Hong Kong had "factories" owned by the hongs - Jardine Matheson, Hutchinson, Dent's and so on - which were simply warehouses and sales offices. So Moose Factory was presumably originally a Hudson's Bay Company or North-Western Company trading post.

Though the idea of a sign saying "BUILDING A BETTER, STRONGER, FASTER MOOSE FOR THE CANADIAN MARKET SINCE 1923" is also appealling.

71: alas, Australian geology is far too old for there to be much chance of dinosaurs being found there.

#79 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 06:46 AM:

ajay @ 78... "BUILDING A BETTER, STRONGER, FASTER MOOSE FOR THE CANADIAN MARKET SINCE 1923"

Then the place get bought out by SkyNet and next thing you know, the Termoosator is taking over the Earth.

#80 ::: Dave Luckett ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 06:46 AM:

#78 Ajay, there were plenty of Australian dinosaurs, including a number of species unknown elsewhere. It's true that few were known until fairly recently, but in the 1990's there were many fossils found at Lightning Ridge and in central Queensland. They included two early dromeosaurs, a somewhat magnified Iguanodon now named Muttaburrasaurus, two smallish sauropods and a number of plesiosaurs and other marine dinosaurs. There's also what looks like a ceratopsian a bit downstream of Proceratops, but the specimen is very incomplete. A spectacular opalised forearm assembly from a large raptor was also recently displayed. The finds so far date mostly from the middle Cretaceous, some earlier.

#81 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 08:23 AM:

Serge @73: I had a friend who along with his partner ran a small film distribution company in Toronto. He told me a tale explaining why, for years, there had been no film industry in Canada.

Apparently, in the early years, the industry in Hollywood convinced the Canadians that neither would be helped by the competition. In return for not competing with Hollywood, Hollywood in turn would see to it that Canadian interests were represented. This ended up being handled by a one-man office.

So, as my friend described, you'd have Bing Crosby in one of the 'On the Road', in some scene in a desert. You'd hear a bird warble, and Bing would say something like: "That sounds like a yellow-bellied sap-sucker... from Canada". And this would be the work of our man in Hollywood, earning his pay.

Sounds like he earned his pay on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court too.

#82 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 08:56 AM:

Serge @ #73:

When I recently learned the name of the dragon in the film Dragonslayer, I laughed out loud - not because it's a funny name in itself (although it is, a bit), but because "Vermithrax Pejorative" is among the magic words used by wizards in the video game I'm working my way through.

(I had wondered how "pejorative" came to be a magic word.)

Also among the magic words are "klaatu", "barada", and "nikto" - although so far never all three together in that order.

#84 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 09:10 AM:

Paul A... "klaatu", "barada", and "nikto" have been used as magic words - in Army of Darkness, but that was a Bruce Campbell movie, which explains a lot.

As for "pejorative" as a magic word, well, they could have come up with worse than that.
Ow!

#85 ::: Faren Miller ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 10:09 AM:

Seeing the Australian place names mentioned above, I remembered where I'd seen a lot of them first: the mysteries of Arthur Upfield.

How many people here were born in a town or city with an interesting name? I can't make that claim, though my maternal grandmother came from Port Wine CA, a mining town that no longer exists.

#86 ::: Paula Lieberman ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 10:50 AM:

Moose Factory?
I know that there's a Moose Jaw, Sasketchewan, and that there is a Canadian Forces base there (or at least, was....).

#87 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 11:05 AM:

Paula Lieberman @ 86...
Yup, Moose Factory is a real place, in Ontario, Canada. (As opposed to Ontario, California.)
http://www.lantz.ca/moosefactory.htm

#88 ::: Graydon ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 11:34 AM:

That's the sense of 'factory' which means 'the domain of a factor', specifically where the Hudson's Bay Company factor had themselves and a fortified store set up to buy furs and sell diverse goods.

So no moose were or are manufactured there.

#89 ::: Graydon ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 11:36 AM:

That's the sense of 'factory' which means 'the domain of a factor', specifically where the Hudson's Bay Company factor had themselves and a fortified store set up to buy furs and sell diverse goods.

So no moose were or are manufactured there.

#90 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 01:27 PM:

80: outstanding. So there is a chance that, some day, a couple of Australian palaeontologists will publish a paper describing the first known specimen of Buggerisaurus?

#91 ::: Jon Baker ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 02:54 PM:

Xopher @ 63: that filk was written by Marc "Beyond the Fringefan" Glasser. He'll sing it for you if you ask.

#92 ::: Julie L. ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 02:59 PM:

No one's mentioned "A Night in Dildo" yet?

#93 ::: Mez ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 03:23 PM:

The Australian Museum (in Sydney, NTBCW the National Museum of Australia in Canberra) has had a few exhibitions including Australian dinosaurs. You can even get books about them from their shop.

Back in the days of penal settlement we had a Female Factory at Parramatta. There were a couple down in Tasmania too. They began as barracks for the women convicts, and developed other functions over time.

#94 ::: SI Rosenbaum ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 03:52 PM:

Ethan @ 76 - that would be Awtic and Wawwick.

#95 ::: Suzanne F. ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 04:30 PM:

Rob @72:

Similarly, St. Paul was originally called Pig's Eye.

#96 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 05:36 PM:

Xopher #74: I was attacked by the Demon of unnecessary copying, whose dread name is Krebk.

#97 ::: Malthus ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 06:04 PM:

You know, there's only one thing I can think of when I see "Vermin Supreme":

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain? The same thing we do every night, Pinky... TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

#98 ::: Bill Higgins-- Beam Jockey ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 06:04 PM:

In #95, Suzanne F. writes:

Similarly, St. Paul was originally called Pig's Eye.

You bring to mind a favorite exchange on Usenet's rec.arts.sf.fandom, way back in Ought Four:

Alan Winston: There's a really excellent contra-dance band from there called "Pig's Eye Landing", and I didn't know why.

David Dyer-Bennet: Actually, it's the original name of St. Paul.

Del Cotter: I remember that bit where Jesus says, "Pig's Eye Landing, why do you persecute me?"

#99 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 09:16 PM:

Malthus, that cracks me up. We were at a friend's house and one of the smartest little kids I know (now not so little but she was less than 5 at the time) said that when Jim asked her what she was going to do tonight. AND when one of her mom's either relative or non-fan friends asked the same question, the child said very innocently, "play with my dolls." Mom said the child gave her a sly smile after saying that.

Then again, one of these days she's going to be Queen of the Multiverse...

#100 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: January 10, 2008, 09:42 PM:

Faren

You've met Boney? I thought I was the only one around here ....

#101 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 09:15 AM:

Paula Lieberman @ 86

And then there's Moose Drool Beer, honest to Bacchus. But do you dare drink it?

#102 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 09:19 AM:

Fragano Ledgister @ 96

Something is rotten in the state of Qraznex.

#103 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 09:33 AM:

Bill Higgins-- Beam Jockey @ 83

And if some other fringe group, like, say, the Trancredo Non Immigranti, don't like the result of the election, they can always buy some land in Second Life and settle down to commit atrocities on the natives build their own society, just like the Pilgrims did in North America.

Some day, after waves of despised immigrants have settled in Second Life, a leader will arise to stop the insidious dilution of their culture, and they'll all upload to a completely virtual land where they can magically remove all the undesirables. Thus does technology make all dreams possible, even the ones that leave you drooling on the pillow after they're over.

#104 ::: Faren Miller ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 09:38 AM:

PJ Evans (#100): Yes, Charles N. Brown introduced me to the Upfield books, long ago. I just wish all my mysteries weren't in storage due to bookshelf overflow at home.

#105 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 10:16 AM:

fidelio @50 -- ...the Dakotas tend to lose towns, so it may be gone by now.
My grandmother was born in Nodaway, Iowa -- another place that's no longer there.

Also, one of the sites at which I teach ESL is near the village of Ork.

Dave Luckett @80 -- opalised forearm
Wow! What a cool thing to happen to one's remains.

#106 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 10:35 AM:

Debbie, 105: That reminds me.

#107 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 10:52 AM:

TexAnne, 106 -- ooh, shiny!
But seriously, thanks. That was beautiful.

#108 ::: Dave Luckett ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 11:36 AM:

Debbie #105 This (I hope this works) doesn't show the raptor forearm - which makes me suspect that it has disappeared into private hands - but it does show a number of others.

#109 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 11:53 AM:

Dave Luckett @107 -- you appear to have doubled up on your http's in the link, but I figured it out and was able to have a look. Very interesting, thanks. The second part of this sentence seems counterintuitive, though: "Some scientists think opalised fossils (and other opal) took thousands of years to form, at high temperatures and under great pressure; others think opal formed quickly, at about 20 degrees celcius."

There are lists of "1000 things to do before you die." I'm definitely putting 'opalize' on my list for afterwards ;)

#110 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 11:57 AM:

Bruce Cohen @ 101... there's Moose Drool Beer, honest to Bacchus.

Jim Bacchus? Does this make Mrs. Howell, Ginger and Marianne into his bacchantes?

#111 ::: Lori Coulson ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 12:02 PM:

TexAnne @106:

Oh, Goddess...

Thanks for making me cry at work. Good thing it's lunchtime, everyone else is out of the office.

#112 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 12:30 PM:

Lori, 111: I'm very glad you liked it. She's one of the very few authors who regularly makes me cry.

#113 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 03:58 PM:

TexAnne @ 106
Thank you immensely for that link. I teared up quite a bit, but I'm at work, and I don't have an office or even a cubical for privacy, so it's better to hold it in.

I am now decided that I have to read everything Bear's written so far, and everything she writes from now on as soon as possible after it comes out. I've read 2 novels and just started a third, and every time within a few pages I've found a really great, and very quotable line. The one I'm reading now is "Whiskey and Water", and on page 7 (of the trade paperback) the line, part of an enumeration of beads and scraps of fabric on a coat-of-many-colors is (paraphrased): "and enough beads to buy Manhattan twice over." It's especially poignant because gur pbng vf orvat jbea ol gur ynfg Zntr bs Znaunggna, nobhg gb tb ba uvf ebhaqf nf thneqvna bs gur vfynaq.

#114 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 07:12 PM:

Oh, Bruce, have I got a time-sucker for you! Check out the "Shadow Unit" Sidelights: Bear, Bull, Monette, and Shetterly. (There are sekrit pages and eastereggs and everything!) Bear also posts regularly to her Livejournal. (Don't forget to read the comments, which are, to borrow a phrase, half the fun.)

signed,
Rabid Stalkery Fan

#115 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: January 11, 2008, 08:28 PM:

TexAnne, #106, that was fabulous.

#116 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: January 12, 2008, 03:07 AM:

TexAnne @ 114

Thanks, I found the LJ a couple of weeks ago, but the Shadow Unit site is new to me. I've exchanged a couple of emails with her about the two books I've read so far; I couldn't keep the squee to myself.

#117 ::: vermin supreme campain ::: (view all by) ::: January 13, 2008, 01:15 AM:

Vermin Supreme Demands a Recount. Press contact: Vermin Supreme
Serious like a Dick Cheney heart attack. crazycircusdogs@yahoo.com
Republican candidate for president Vermin Supreme joined the chorus of candidates calling for a recount of the New Hampshire Primary vote, today.
On election night, Mr. Supreme encountered by chance, two, hand ballot counters from the New Hampshire town of Lyndeborough. Upon learning of Mr. Supreme’s identity , the election workers excitedly told him that they were a witness to Mr. Supreme receiving one vote in Lyndeborough. The official town and state vote tallies make no mention of this missing vote.
“These women were not joking, they appeared quite sincere. They didn’t claim dozens or hundreds of votes. No, they claimed one vote for me in their town, a number that is plausible, and consistent with voting patterns around the state.
How many other votes of mine may have turned up ‘missing’ due to ‘irregularities’?
I would have to guess up to five. The real question is how and why something like this could happen. By ,‘irregularities’, I mean some person or persons unknown, simply discarding a paper ballot with my name on it. If true it is an outrage, and an affront to my candidacy, not to mention an indication of greater vote diddling” said Mr. Supreme.
The Vermin Supreme Campain is asking the Secretary of State, Bill Gardner and the Office of Elections to investigate.
More as this breaking story develops

#118 ::: FluxRostrum ::: (view all by) ::: January 13, 2008, 06:03 PM:

5 Videos of Vermin Supreme on the Campaign trail

Vermin Supreme Videos

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