Eat, Drink, Hobbit, Hobbit

(Okay, partially lifted from Bored of the Rings.)

Fans of the first and second movies bitterly argue about the continuity disruptions ever after...

Gondolin with the Wind

The Hobbit: There
and
The Hobbit: Back Again.

I am Hobbit: Yellow

Bilbo needs a wise-cracking animal sidekick, too.

Hmm. Hobbit Trek: The Next Generation. Hobbit Trek: Deep Forest Nine.

With my executive bunny hat on, I say that that's not snappy enough, and suggest that it be changed to The Hobbit Returns. (To be followed, of course, by either The Hobbit Forever or The Scorpion Ring.)

Son of Hobbit

followed by

Mighty Joe Baggins

The comic book should sell well, too ...

Backdwarf - Putting out the Dragonfire

Not quite appropriate for a prequel, but:
Khazad-dûm and Khazad-dûmmer

Six Hairy Feet Under

Full Mithral Jacket

Bob and Carol and Ted and Bilbo

I Know Who You Shot With a Black Arrow Last Summer

The Thrush Always Knocks Twice

Bringing Up Bilbo

Dirty Hobbit

Gojira tai Hedorâ aka "Godzilla vs. the Smaug Monster"

Smaugma

Red Dwarf: The Hairy Edge

(couldn't find a Tolkienian analogue for chocolate)

On second thought....Nah. Not enough action.

Bilbo: Riddler on the Loose

The Beorn Identity
The Beorn Supremacy
Little House on the Carrock

@Avram

I Still Known What You Did Sixty Years Ago

The Orc Who Shot Bilbo Baggins

South Farthing: Shorter, Stouter & Unstealthy

Lobelia
(featuring Radagast Radagast and a young Lobelia S-B)

About Bilbo

Bree Hill, 90210

Citizen Saruman

The Infernoing Tower (UK title: Faulty Tower)

Dragon Tales

An Inconvenient Ret-Con

Zarderiand

All Quiet on the Southron Front

J.R.R. Tolkien's Beren+Luthien

Sam & Frodo: The Early Years

(please shoot me now)

Viking Action: The Thirteenth Burglar

Western: Barrelriders In The Sky

The Hobbit 2: Kicking the Hobbit? What is this world coming to?

On a note more in keeping with the thread:

Bilbo Baggins and the Chamber of Secrets
Bilbo Baggins and the Prisoners of Mordor
Bilbo Baggins and the Mountain of Fire
Bilbo Baggins and the Order of the Rangers
Bilbo Baggins and the Half-Blood Elf
Bilbo Baggins and the Deathly Riders

Bride of the Hobbit
Son of Baggins
The Hobbit Conquers the Martians

The Hobbit Episode I: The Dwarvish Menace
The Hobbit Episode II: Attack of the Orcs
The Hobbit Episode III: Revenge of the Wargs
(these are supposed to be prequels for the LotR movies, right?)

Beard perms?

Of course they'll jump the shark with Hobbits:3 and Hobbit: The Resurrection, but nobody with any sense will watch those.

The Balrog's Backbone

(Hey, it's Guillermo del Toro who's supposed to be directing, right?)

Apparently, Guillermo del Toro would actually like to make a movie based on Lovecraft's novel -- he's even written a script for it.

The Akallabeth: Live Forever or Die Hard
Morgoth and Ungoliant: A Love Story
Ent vs. Entwife
The Simillarion: Ooooh, Shiny!

The Amazing Saruman

The Legend of Baggins Vance

With Six You Get Lembas

@58 Hillary: Bilbo Baggins and the Half-Blood Elf -- I'd watch it.

I honestly can't believe anybody missed these, but:

Kill Bilbo
Kill Bilbo II

Four dwarves find themselves on the run from the most vengeful Elven house of all in "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Simarils"

Fed Again

Guess Who's Coming to Second Breakfast?

A Túrin With the Sun

Nírnaeth Arnoediad—Valinor's Loss of Innocence (a History Channel documentary)

Gone with the Windlord

A Wighter Shade of Pale

Pelennor Field of Dreams

The Wizard of Osgiliath

The Trouble with Húrin

Grey Havens (the story of two elderly Elf women who refuse to go back to Valinor, despite the fact that Imladris is crumbling)

A Hole with a View

Or the part with the big dragon-attack on Lake-town could be "Loch, Smaug and Two Smoking Nostrils".

(Sorry.)

etc.

I bet he acquires a geographical nickname and a bullwhip and stars in a whole series of films.

Raiders of the Lost Arkenstone
West Farthing Baggins and the Watchtower of Doom
West Farthing Baggins and the Last Orcish Raid
West Farthing Baggins and the Kingdom of the Palintir*

-----
* Scheduled for release on 22 Thrimidge 2008 (Shire reckoning)

In that vein..
"Judge Bilbo"
"Hobbitz"
"Nighthobbits"
"Hobbit Story"
"Farewell, My Elven"
"The Lords of Flatfarthing"

Paul Duncanson @62: that may be the best yet, in my very humble opinion.

Now I must figure out how to convert "Rear Window" into elvish.

Adel Henneth

Bravehobbit

..and "Band of Brothers" works without needing any translation, doesn't it?

Several centuries in the making... edited down to just a few decades of their greatest production numbers.

"The most exciting movie ever produced by Ents!!!" raves Morris Schmetterling.

"Unfortunately I have no doubt that Schmetterling is right," muses Brolph Vetz.

1360 (Third Age): A Hobbit Odyssey

A Clockwork Hobbit

Bilbo Lyndon

One Nazgul Flew Over the Hobbit Hole

Full Mithril Jacket

Then there's the Ent horror film, "Blazing Sarumans".

MERRY (or PIPPIN): A hill.

TREEBEARD: A hill. Hoom. A hill, you say?

(music swells)

TREEBEARD (sings): Well, 'hill' is a hasty sort of word

HOBBITS (singing backup): Ooo, ooo.

TREEBEARD: For something here since this part of the world
Was shaped.

HOBBITS: Was shaped?

ALL, in harmony: Was sha-a-a-ped!

PIPPIN (or MERRY): So what do YOU call it, anyway?

TREEBEARD: Well, part of what we like to say
Is "a-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamanda-lind-or-buru-ume!"*

HOBBITS: What say?

TREEBEARD: I said,
"A-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamanda-lind-or-buru-ume!"

HOBBITS: Hey hey!

ALL (in harmony, with dancing): A-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamanda-lind-or-buru-ume!

MERRY: I like this word much better!
Treebeard, I'll be your debtor
For teaching me the Entish word!
The Westron one now seems absurd!
When I come upon a hill on my way,
From now on I will say

ALL: "A-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamanda-lind-or-buru-ume!" (repeat)

PIPPIN: Well, I don't know, I kind of like
To call it a hill, like Michael's "Mike."
You can call me hasty and young—
But the Entish knots my tongue!
At least that's how it seems to me.

(Music stops. TREEBEARD and MERRY glare at PIPPIN. PIPPIN looks down, cowed. Music comes back up, and PIPPIN sings, very slowly)

PIPPIN: I'll just be over here, on the

ALL: A-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamanda-lind-or-buru-ume!

PIPPIN: Okay!

ALL: A-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamanda-lind-or-buru-ume! (repeat; all exit, dancing)

*Latin dance rhythm, possibly (I ask no forgiveness for this) a rumba.

*Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
**one of those words that never looks right no matter how I spell it

Now, when the beeches grew into the region, they had their own word for a hill: kamanda. But they kept the old name to identify it, so: kamanda-lind-or-burúmë.

Then there was a horrible forest fire in which many good trees died. When we brought in some cedars to recolonize, they in turn had their own word: rumba --

PIPPIN: Can we please get on with the singing and dancing?

Yes, I would like to see one or more of the stories from the Silmarillion as films. Esp. Beren and Luthien, or the Children of Hurin.

I once sketched out an alternate history story where Tolkien's submission of the Silmarillion material to Allen & Unwin in 1937 got more of a favorable review from the first reader, and he was asked to expand some of those stories into novels rather than asked for Hobbit sequel. I didn't get very far with it, though.

The backstory of Galadriel.

Full Mithril Jacket

Prior publication at 48, though I did mispell it.

But while we're on Kubrick:

All-Seeing Eye Wide Shut.

I wish I could give a shout out to all my favorites, but there are way, way, way too many.

Serge @ 119 gets a (dis?)honorable mention.

LOVE ALL.

(Any documentary evidence will be resolutely ignored. Also it was the "throbbits" that pushed me over the edge.)

-cajun

Mordor by Numbers

Dang.

Love, C.

Yikes. Just yikes.

The Once and Future Ring

For a Few Simarils More

The Good, the Bad, and the Dwarven

Once Upon A Time In the Greyhavens

One of the top three movie dates with Mike evar.

Play Misty Mountains for me

Dragons on a plain

The silence of the lembas

To kill a Nazgul

Bridge on the River Branduin

Life of Beren

A few good hobbits

Wild Wild West Farthing

Also, I'm late to the game because the top row of my keyboard stopped working...I discovered this when I went to google something and saw that the first hit was a disemvowled comment on Making Light. ;0)

Ginger 145, one of yours too, same post.

The only true sequel to the Hobbit would, of course, be Bilbo Baggins Against the Middle-Earth Crime League

I do see a lot of potential for prequels, including:
Thorin's Run
Reservoir Dwarves
Sleepy Hobbit

For safety reasons, of course, under no circumstances should anyone attempt to film The Dunwich Hobbit.

OK, I'm done.

[2] Vása - A Nordor word for Sun

I really like "The Beorn Identity" series. "Borin" also works...

Just for pure geek factor:
Eredor Dwarf: Smaug Ups