Once upon a time there was a book called Night Travels of the Elven Vampire, which was read and reviewed by Crevette:
Alaric is a vampire. And he shapeshifts into a wolf. Alaric is also an Elf. It also turns out that Elves are aliens from the planet Telvron, where there are also sentient trees and unicorns. And he’s telepathic too, because he talks to his brother Marti’el that way. So that makes Alaric an alien vampire werewolf psychic writer. Got that? Good. That way you won’t get confuzzled when he becomes a pirate.The novel has since been rewritten. The altered version is titled Eternity of Blood, and is longer. What’s remarkable is that it has apparently gotten worse—or so Crevette claims in You all suck, her updated review of the work:
Gareth is a darkly angelic, alien vampiric UFO-debunking half-divine military fighter pilot…I can’t think of a single good reason to read this book. There’s not enough irony in the world.