Back to previous post: Just a lotta animals

Go to Making Light's front page.

Forward to next post: Open thread 110

Subscribe (via RSS) to this post's comment thread. (What does this mean? Here's a quick introduction.)

June 2, 2008

That sounds painful
Posted by Patrick at 10:36 AM * 107 comments

From The Politico:

In April of last year, Drudge featured an image of a dark spot on the head of the Republican candidate, who had previously been treated for skin cancer, spurring a round of media inquiries and speculation on a possible recurrence.

The campaign later said McCain had hit his head on a plane.

Presumably it was flying unusually low.
Comments on That sounds painful:
#1 ::: Magenta Griffith ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 11:27 AM:

That's what happens when you think you're sixty feet high.

First!

#2 ::: mjfgates ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 11:28 AM:

Or maybe his head was just up in the clouds again.

#3 ::: Ingvar M ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 11:47 AM:

A good example of why only people with the appropriate workplace hazard training should be allowed on the apron.

#4 ::: Charlie Stross ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 12:06 PM:

Who let him loose in the woodworking shop anyway?

#5 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 12:16 PM:

Hmmm... That creature in the Twilight Zone episode "Nightmare at 30,000 Feet" did look like McCain.

#6 ::: Carl ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 12:38 PM:

Well if he gets "elected" (Ghu forbid) at least the comedy writers will only have to refinish old Gerald Ford jokes.

But the resurgence of Chevy Chase is too high a price to pay!

#7 ::: Tom Barclay ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:10 PM:

This - and his election - is likely to hurt us more than it hurts him.

Did he throw a screaming temper tantrum at the aircraft?

#8 ::: FMguru ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:11 PM:

I got my head checked
By a jumbo jet
It wasnt easy
But nothing is, no

#9 ::: Michael Roberts ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:34 PM:

Dammit, Charlie preempted my snark! Stupid time zones. Now all I'm left with is some lame riff on inclined planes or something, and I'll tell you what, I just can't work under these conditions.

#10 ::: Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:40 PM:

I was going to say, "Well, no, all he'd have to do is not duck when the flaps came down during pre-flight." But the sorts of planes with wings high enough to walk under but low enough that one would need to duck to do so just don't seem quite important enough for the McCain's presumed ego.

Although the image of him trying to squeeze into a C-152 makes me laugh.

#11 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:46 PM:

Oh, come on, Michael. You could have said "Perhaps a misguided attempt to cure him of being a blockhead?" or "So that explains why he's so flat," or "Maybe he was indulging in his favorite vise."

#12 ::: Paula Lieberman ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:48 PM:

It's not from being whacked by a frying pan?

#13 ::: chaz ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:52 PM:

Dunno if it's still true, but there used to be signs on British roads outside airfields: "Beware - low-flying aircraft".

What were you meant to do - take your hat off?

#14 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 01:57 PM:

Xopher @ 11... And we all saw it happen.

#15 ::: Jason B ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:09 PM:

There's only one choice for McCain's running mate now:

Hervé Villechaize.

Oh, wait.

#16 ::: Malthus ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:22 PM:

The planes in Spain fall mainly on McCain?

#17 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:27 PM:

13: Flanders and Swann, I believe...

#18 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:31 PM:

What would happen if McCain suddenly became unable to run, at this point? Another set of Republican primaries? Or would the nomination go to one of the runner-up candidates from the last round?

#19 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:40 PM:

JOel Polowin (18): There's no official nominee yet, so presumably the delegates would choose one at the Republican convention. (For a fun look at what could happen if the wrong person dies later in the election cycle, read The People's Choice by Jeff Greenfield.)

#20 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:42 PM:

We all know the drill, press on and find more woodworking puns, nose to the grindstone, and appeals to the lathe of heaven that the mills of the gods might settle for a coarser fate.

I'll not be routed; no I shall finish with pride, and gloss over the imperfections of my arguments.

#21 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 02:55 PM:

I think I'll file all these high-flying puns for later consideration.

#22 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:02 PM:

McCain's mishaps dovetail nicely with some of his contradictory claims. Dado-n't with his wish to be seen as a polished statesman.

#23 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:10 PM:

It's a thin veneer of cvility we present, when we would far rather be lumbering about.

#24 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:24 PM:

Charlie Stross #4: Perhaps he confused it with a spokeshave.

#25 ::: Charlie Stross ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:30 PM:

I confess, you've quite turned my head.

#26 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:39 PM:

So may we assume, Charlie, that you haven't been put out of joint?

#27 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:42 PM:

So nice to see master craftspeople hammering out such fine finished work. Gems, even.

#28 ::: Syd ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:43 PM:

So is there any word on his prospective cabinet? Changes to any of the bureaus? It would be nice to know in advance who's likely to be shelved...

#29 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:48 PM:

And who will be his dresser?

#30 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:51 PM:

I think that by now we'll got McCain's true self pegged down.

#31 ::: Tania ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:55 PM:

I would have described McCain as a chiseler, myself.

#32 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 03:58 PM:

Armoire confused than ever.

#33 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 04:04 PM:

Do you think the nomination fights will go to the mattresses?

#34 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 04:08 PM:

And who would he choose to chair the Joint Chiefs? He'd better not screw up.

#35 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 04:09 PM:

McCain will be perfect material for the party platform.

#36 ::: Michael Roberts ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 04:18 PM:

Well, it's true that McCain's a tool. Lathe me tell you, you woodn't know it to see him -- and hew else would say so? -- but his anger can be cutting. It's plane to see he'd route an enemy, but anybody who's read his circular saw that.

That last one's even making me wince. I'm quitting while I'm ahead. Thanks for the pep talk, Xopher. I'll file it away for later.

#37 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 04:40 PM:

I'm getting board. Can't put it planer than that.

#38 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 05:21 PM:

Stefan Jones, that was particularly flat.

#39 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 05:53 PM:

McCain will respond to this with some old saw, I've no doubt.

#40 ::: Jason B ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 06:10 PM:

Well, now it awl adze up.

#41 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 06:43 PM:

McCain can't win. The stakes are too high.

#42 ::: Steve Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 06:45 PM:

> Presumably it was flying unusually low.

They're pesky things on the ground too:

http://www.aviationforum.org/forums/attachment.php?s=dbd10652099c0af000521c7c3b991e11&postid=65484

#43 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 08:56 PM:

McCain is putting quite a finish to his run for the nomination. Being as he used to fly planes, I guess we can call him a pilot 'hole. He sure thinks he's a stud, but I bet he needs a truss.

#44 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 09:10 PM:

Should McCain become President, he wood chip away at the Constitution than his predecessor.

#45 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 09:59 PM:

Someone needs to clamp down on all the punning here, before somebody gets hurt.

#46 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:04 PM:

I think McCain's been pretty well nailed down here.

#47 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:06 PM:

I think 'some' people want us knot to pun any fir-ther.

#48 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:15 PM:

First pun on 4. Y'all are getter better!

#49 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:16 PM:

Erm. That was just a typo.

#50 ::: Jason B ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:16 PM:

We know the drill. We can either pound sander socket up. But in my opinion, puns like these should be band--saw a case of this get out of hand--saw many men die--cast a pall.

#51 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:39 PM:

Seems pretty concrete to me: every post has punned mightily, and I like how they've dovetailed nicely. I think it all hinges on the topic -- the wrong topic, and the jig is up. No one has cribbed any puns, and no one has been pinned beneath the onslaught. Most importantly, no one has rabbeted on and on. I know you all are nuts about puns, so I must bolt before you can catch me.

#52 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 10:48 PM:

When McCain hit his head on the plane, I bet you he cried out "Oh, the pine! The pine!"

#53 ::: Greg London ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 11:09 PM:

William Shatner looks out the window. McCain pushes his nose up against the glass.

"There's a man on the wing," Shatner shouts.

McCain jumps off and bumps his head on the tail fin.

#54 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 11:24 PM:

Oak-ay, I cone't do this anymore. It's just not fir to the others.

#55 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 02, 2008, 11:50 PM:

The backlash is going to be severe. Some inexperienced people are going to try chiseling in, and the slightest mistake and we'll need a mortisian.

#56 ::: Syd ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 12:06 AM:

It's getting simply untenonable in here...

#57 ::: Edward Oleander ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 01:15 AM:

But we lacquer for nothing...

#58 ::: Edward Oleander ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 01:20 AM:

... and was it not here many months ago that McCain's unvarnished reputation was stained for all to see?

#59 ::: Edward Oleander ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 01:22 AM:

... or wood he have painted it all as just a pigment of my imagination?

#60 ::: heresiarch ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 01:36 AM:

Debbie @ 34: "And who would he choose to chair the Joint Chiefs? He'd better not screw up."

Oh, I'm sure he'll knock something together. I'd bet he's got a couple pegged down already.

#61 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 01:49 AM:

Quitting the field, when the run has been so productive goes against the grain, and a ripping good time is being had by all, so perhaps a little tolerance is in order.

I'll be glued to the screen, looking to see what gets knocked together.

#62 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 02:17 AM:

Greg London @ 53

So William Shatner is McCain's wingman? I'm not happy with the way he's beating the drumsticks of war. He seems to be buffaloed by the idea of diplomacy. I know he's not a poultry-oon, he doesn't need to prove he's not chicken. I don't know about his background, though, is he of good breading?

#63 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 06:17 AM:

Just keep those wooden puns phloem.

#64 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 06:39 AM:

Y'awl are too funny. Yesterday eave things had only gotten going a little bit! I can only buttress the following tangent with the excuse that someone already mentioned Shatner. Here he is.

#65 ::: Simon ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 08:08 AM:

Fir crying out loud, do yew think these puns are funny? I know this might not be a poplar point, but I'm pining for the days when people wood teak comment threads seriously, instead of making an ash of punning on planes.

#66 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 08:18 AM:

Simon, the people here are just being hyperbolic. Pay them no mind.

#67 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 08:36 AM:

Simon, we're just razzing 'Cain.

(Ooh, good one with your 'planes')

#68 ::: Jon Baker ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 10:55 AM:

With all the wood puns, we could even build a bridge of words. Or are you all punning for the fords?

#69 ::: Charlie Stross ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 11:51 AM:

Some of these puns are so bad they're mortice-fying.

#70 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 11:57 AM:

Oh, I don't know. I think everyone should take a bough.

#71 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 12:04 PM:

I wish people like McCain didn't wear their patriotism on their sliver.

#72 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 12:47 PM:

Everyone's being so clever that I feel like a block-head. (Why, yes, that is a chip on my shoulder.)

#73 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 12:47 PM:

Serge: Well stone the crows, that's a sharp comment, and plumb whets my appetite for more.

#74 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 12:52 PM:

Mary Aileen, that sounds like a problem you should tackle, just try not to pully any muscles.

#75 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 02:26 PM:

Terry Karney (74): Thanks for trying to lift my spirits.

#76 ::: rm ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 02:55 PM:

You are all biased against McCain, just because he's a square. I'm plumb tired of it. You should try to keep your spirit level; it would take this discussion board to a new dimension. Mark my words. I don't think you have the sand.

#77 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 03:09 PM:

rm @ 76... There's no problem with McCain being a square. It all depends on what yew rafter.

#78 ::: Jason Aronowitz ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 03:52 PM:

Props to all.

#79 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 04:25 PM:

I see no one has gotten board yet.

#80 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 04:30 PM:

Ginger @ 79... I guess that should have us feel re-joist.

#81 ::: Tania ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 05:43 PM:

I would have added more puns, but my tenon span has been elsewhere. I guess this is the sort of thing that wood happen to me when I have interruptions throughout the dado.

#82 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 06:30 PM:

I think we've gotten down to the nuts and bolts. Or the brass tacks.

#83 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 06:48 PM:

P J, you nailed it. I for one bolted from the conversation early, because you're all nuts. I probably would have screwed up anyway. But as I told my friend Brad, washer gonna do?

#84 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 07:14 PM:

What would you router have us do?

#85 ::: Syd ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 07:43 PM:

I for one have been totally enrasptured by the clever word-plane hereabouts. But I'm getting a little peckish, so please excuse me while I go en-joiner a biscuit...

#86 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 09:14 PM:

All these wooden puns have been making me rasp.

#87 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 10:18 PM:

I'd dearly love to say I saw this coming ....

#88 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 10:52 PM:

...but you had to cut it short.

#89 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 11:08 PM:

I don't know if I've been topped
or cut off at the knees.

#90 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 03, 2008, 11:36 PM:

Well, we can table this for later...

#91 ::: Bernard Yeh ::: (view all by) ::: June 04, 2008, 03:09 AM:

So is the Politico still on board the McCain bandsaw wagon, or is actual journalism coming out of the woodwork there?

#92 ::: Allan Beatty ::: (view all by) ::: June 04, 2008, 07:50 PM:

I mitre saw this coming. I'm not coping very well.

#93 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 12:34 PM:

Don't worry, Alan, it'll alb e OK.

#94 ::: joann ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 12:56 PM:

You mean it's awl right now?

#95 ::: rea ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 03:23 PM:

All these woodworking puns do not auger well for the balance of the campaign--or this thread . . .

#96 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 03:29 PM:

rea @ 95... these woodworking puns do not auger well

Why must people make such unproven planket statements?

#97 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 04:13 PM:

Serge @ 96: Because they all have a chip on their shoulders.

#98 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 04:17 PM:

Ginger... Some of us need a cut & a shaving.

#99 ::: Faren Miller ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 05:29 PM:

Should the forest now beat the last?

(Great puns! Much more fun than my shark image on the Open Thread.)

#100 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 05:37 PM:

When a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around, does it make a sound? Even if it's just a bark?

#101 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 07:24 PM:

It seems the jig is up, and we'll all be routed.

#102 ::: Ken Hirsch ::: (view all by) ::: June 05, 2008, 09:52 PM:

Presumably it was flying unusually low.

Like this plane?. A little more context, with Max X snark here

#103 ::: Cadbury Moose ::: (view all by) ::: June 06, 2008, 11:50 AM:

I shall brace myself over here at the Moose Operating Division of the Lumber Cartel (TINLC) and point out that at least the inline adze were appropriate.

Cadbury.

#104 ::: Kate Tinning ::: (view all by) ::: June 07, 2008, 12:13 AM:

You're awl master craftsmen (and women) with these puns. It is plane that Walnuts is going to be dismembered come November.

#105 ::: Spam deleted ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2008, 10:51 PM:

[Spam from 85.110.107.191]

#106 ::: Paul Duncanson thinks he spies some kind of canned meat ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2008, 10:57 PM:

There at 105... is that spam?

#107 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2008, 11:18 PM:

Please, folks, if you see spam, say "spam" in your name line. "Some kind of canned meat" isn't one of the phrases I search on when I search the last 1,000 posts for heads-up messages.

Welcome to Making Light's comment section. The moderators are Avram Grumer, Teresa & Patrick Nielsen Hayden, and Abi Sutherland. Abi is the moderator most frequently onsite. She's also the kindest. Teresa is the theoretician. Are you feeling lucky?

Comments containing more than seven URLs will be held for approval. If you want to comment on a thread that's been closed, please post to the most recent "Open Thread" discussion.

You can subscribe (via RSS) to this particular comment thread. (If this option is baffling, here's a quick introduction.)

Post a comment.
(Real e-mail addresses and URLs only, please.)

HTML Tags:
<strong>Strong</strong> = Strong
<em>Emphasized</em> = Emphasized
<a href="http://www.url.com">Linked text</a> = Linked text

Spelling reference:
Tolkien. Minuscule. Gandhi. Millennium. Delany. Embarrassment. Publishers Weekly. Occurrence. Asimov. Weird. Connoisseur. Accommodate. Hierarchy. Deity. Etiquette. Pharaoh. Teresa. Its. Macdonald. Nielsen Hayden. It's. Fluorosphere. Barack. More here.















(You must preview before posting.)

Dire legal notice
Making Light copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 by Patrick & Teresa Nielsen Hayden. All rights reserved.