Dare I ask what if anything Conservapedia has to say about that very subject?

1) Walking through downtown Baltimore, I hear sirens. An ambulance is working its way down a busy street, with a few drivers making half-hearted attempts to clear a path. I am irritated at the lack of effort. "Wow," says my friend visiting from Brooklyn, "cars are actually getting out of its way."

2) I'm taking I-95 into the city; the very long exit ramp is a two-lane parking lot, the product of having the Inner Harbor and the baseball stadium both at the end of it. An ambulance comes up behind us, because the same exit is for Shock Trauma. No way, I'm thinking. But...everybody -- and I mean everybody -- in the right lane pulls over so they're half on the right shoulder and half in the right lane. I was in the left lane, and we all pull over so we're half in the right lane and half in the left lane. The ambulance comes by half on the left shoulder and half in the left lane, and makes slow but steady progress all the way down. I am amazed at seeing well over a hundred cars participate in this effort to get someone to the hospital. I don't know that I'll ever see its like again.

And if you are ever in the land of Oz and need help, our emergency services number is 000.

EMTs, etc. ARE wonderful people. My husband recently had to call 911 on my behalf. (My communication ability at the time pretty much consisted of HrghAARRGH!) They were at my house in 5 minutes-and this was at around 4AM!

So thank you, you wonderful people.

As a former firefighter (in my misspent yout', as we say), and daughter of still-active firefighters, I salute all emergency workers around the world. Thanks to your hard work, dedication, and tendency to run towards problems, thousands of lives are saved everyday. I raise my bottle of Hook & Ladder beer to you!

2 notes = brand·weer (fire brigade)
3 notes = po·li·tie
4 notes = am·bu·lan·tie

I have since seen a police car singing the fire engine song, but it's a nice piece of urban myth.

Fixing the world on $2/day.

"There's this belief that in order to stop poverty, we have to find ways to get people to stop being farmers," she says. "What we need to do is find ways to stop them from being poor farmers."

Isn't HrghAARRGH where the Holy Grail is supposed to be kept?

And, if anybody isn't aware of it - 112 (and 911 actually) can be keyed in on any mobile phone without opening the keypad lock. And you can call it even if you can't connect to "your" network - and even if you don't have a SIM card in at all. (I presume the phone will have to search up a network though).

This means that if you really need to you can borrow a phone, any phone, even though you don't know the user interface for that particular type, punch in 112, and reach emergency services.

(Of course, this also means your phone may call 112 by being jostled in your pocket, but that's just a minor downside.)

Once I got to the hospital (not being willing to drive 80 on an unfamiliar road and possibly make the ambulance come back for a second trip) I discovered that she had a broken pelvis, and that her blood pressure had suddenly taken a sharp drop halfway to the hospital.

Those EMTs saved my wife's life, so I raise a glass to them and all emergency workers everywhere. May you always have what you need to do your jobs, and the respect you deserve!

One night, very late, I stopped for gas at a convenience store on a lonely highway. I pumped my gas and then went inside to pay. There was nobody in the store and one of the aisles had a bunch of merchandise on the floor. I thought something might be up, so I left money on the counter, went outside and dialed 911 on my cell. I couldn't figure out why the 911 operator couldn't figure out where this convenience store was, when finally I realized I was talking to Duluth 911. (Apparently at the time, you were connected by the area code of the phone, not by proximity to a cell tower.)

When we realized what was going on, she put me on hold and then connected me to a Maine State Trooper Barracks. I still have no idea what had actually happened though.

I must heard of the place from someone who speaks with a French accent.
Quick! Fetchez la vache!

Because sometimes cellphone 911 can have a wait time, and if you know you specifically need a particular department (you see a crime in progress, say), you can call them directly.

---------
* or other places where this could be relevant

Those bell towers were not only to call the community to worship in the local church / cathedral.

Bell ringing, which has been preserved, at least in England, was also signals. Those seemingly funny names given to different rhythms, came from somewhere. Sme of them meant fire disaster! Some signaled flood disaster imminent. And so on.

The church itself was the central gathering place for safety and from which to make sorties to rescue, from which planning to mitigate and so on.

There's a marvelous faded BBC Peter Wimsey from the early 70's that makes this all clear too.

As well as Robin McKinnley, who does do bell ringing these days, and blogs about it.

Love, C.

Just in the last couple of days there's been a bit of a media flap in Australia about "triple-0 taxis". Apparently pensioners, who don't get billed for their ambulance rides, are calling in with chest pains and so forth, riding the ambulance in to the hospital, then telling the paramedics they feel much better now and popping out the door to get their groceries at the shopping district just over the road from the hospital.

I know I should Disapprove of this (assuming it's a genuine problem and not just one or two incidents combined with a slow day at Murdoch Towers), but I couldn't help just a little chuckle when I read the story.

I've had a couple ambulance rides in my time. It's not just the competence of the crews I'm grateful for, but above and beyond that, emergency workers are so calming. One can believe they could fix anything, including the godawful mess I've apparently made of my person, just from the way they move and talk.

Oh yes, The Nine Tailors. I love that book; haven't actually seen the video version though.

At least part of being comforted is being able to name the enemy. Identifying the problem (provided it is a correct diagnosis) is the first step toward a remedy. There are few things worse than being unwell, yet all the tests keep coming back negative.

abi: Congratulations!

Dave Bell: My sympathies & best wishes on sorting out your mother's medical problems.

i love how the cardinal is so ruthless

Cardinals always are.

That's why they wear red...so the blood of their victims won't show.

And red hats so you can't see where their brains have been taken out and replaced with eldritch creatures of no earthly origin.

And one—only one!—of them wears white. This is because his brain has been removed and NOT replaced. No, for he walks and talks by the power of the Elder Gods themselves, and only Great Cthulhu knows his mind—for it is Cthulhu's own mind! Scream in horror, puny humans! Cthulhu fhtagn!

So she's over there scorching her lap working on a massive tome, and she said to me, "I'm beginning to covet that thing we gave mom for her birthday this weekend" (a laptop pad with a built-in fan).

So I say, "Why covet? You've got the keys to their house."

"And I know the security code," she added.

Then I frowned. "You know, it'd cost more to drive there to steal it than it would--"

"--to go buy one," she finished.

"That's kind of sad," I said. "It's like the ending to 'Time Considered As A Helix Of Semi-Precious Stones."

Oh, it's a laugh a minute at our house!

> And if you are ever in the land of Oz and need help, our emergency services number is 000.

And threadpropriately enough, 112 will get you emergency services on a mobile, regardless of whether the phone has run out of credit or is SIM locked etc.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers with his shirt off.

sadly, the rest of it got on my nerves enough that I didn't finish watching what was available on DVD from Netflix.

I was in your #2 scenario a few weeks ago. Sitting on the onramp to eastbound 26 in Hillsboro, OR, with the ramp signals on (some days, possibly those whose dates divided by φ are mutually prime with the Euler number of Chtulhu's N-dimensional non-convex hull, which is to say, might as well be random, the ramp signals stay on much later, and I get caught in the ramp on the way home from work). The ramp is about 40 vehicles long, and was packed clear out onto the approach from the road that crosses the freeway just behind the ramp.

I was in the righthand lane about a third of the way in, when I heard a siren and looked in my mirror to see an ambulance trying to get onto the freeway. Everybody in the right lane pulled into the right shoulder and those in the left lane pulled onto the left shoulder, and the ambulance moved down the center of the ramp at about 5 mph average, with the cars behind it pulling back into the lanes neatly and without anyone trying to bump up a spot or two. Looked just like a zipper in operation.

I haven't had to call the ambulance here in a few years now (used to be once a year, on average), but they usually came with two ambulances and I'd tell them, "I'm large, but I'm not divisible!"

Serge, #30, I have Krosp and chibi Agatha pins, but I like the look of the winged trilobite.

Once was a car that flipped over the nose end.

Once was a man, sleeping on the street, with his trousers pulled down, in -15°C. The kind people at the emergency services assured me that an ambulance had been dispatched some 10 minutes ago and should be there momentarily (no, there was no ambulance centre any where near, it truly was far from anything else, as it were) and while I was on the phone to them, could I check that he was breathing. He was.

Once I called because I was having water coming down from upstairs and my neighbour was not responding to knocks nor (indeed) had any lights lit. The kind firemen arrived and turned the feed to their washing machine off.

And once, memorably, a sauna burned down, on New Year's Eve. When the fire brigade arrived, the caleld around to other nearby services, because the building was past saving, it was surprisingly quiet for NYE and they wanted all the other firefighters to come out and play.

My mother is OK at the hospital, not wonderful but no need for panic. We'll have more info in a couple of hours, after the Consultant (=senior doctor) has seen her.

Bad news: I'm thinking of buying a ukulele.

9 Two people have told me that you can tell which kind of Dutch emergency vehicle is sounding its siren by counting the notes.

Can't look it up at the moment, but it's on YouTube: the English comedian Bill Bailey improvising a French folk song from the four-tone siren of French ambulances...

It could be worse, maybe modern jazz?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PRyvsRAo8T8

You do know that Jeeves left Bertie for a while when Bertie became smitten by the dulcet tones of the banjolele...

and Xopher, @32.

All cardinals *are* evil.

#32 and #33 are wonderful. Thanks for sharing them, I needed a lift.

#46, Dave Bell -

If a ukulele is the bad news, then I'm quite pleased.* My best wishes for continuing good news about your mother.

*I've never seen a ukulele in person. That might be influencing my reaction.

Are you an anti-ordinal bigot as well?

"And did you persecute the Hugenots?"
"I did that small thing..."

112 used to be reserved for fire brigade emergency calls, back at home. Wikipedia says it still is. And at the same time the Eurpean emergency number for EVERYTING. Is that odd? Won't that be confusing?

I'd second that assumption, but first I must go forth and take the fifth.

It's a sequence, actually, but who's counting?

*flees, pelted by rotten fruit*

Since it's the Fibonacci series, shouldn't you be getting pelted with pinecones instead?

About 15 years ago I read a story in OMNI. The premise was, past-life regression was possible and reasonably easy, and one of the manifestations of this was in acting: if you wanted to play Juliet, one of your past lives had to have lived in Renaissance Italy. Macbeth required a past life in ancient Scotland. Etc.

So they want to do a play about Joan of Arc, and there's a famous actress whose past life was a French peasant during the Hundred Years' War slated to play the lead--until a girl shows up who was Joan of Arc. So they cast her instead, and change all sorts of things about the play, essentially rewriting it wholesale, based on how she says things happened. And she sucks, because whether she was Joan or not, she can't act.

I remember neither the name nor the author of the story, but I'd like to read it again.

Anyone?

Well, it's not like he's going to get any less dead...

The Doppler effect should cause the 4-note sequence to change for different observers, too. It will be shifted up or down when it's moving toward/away, and will give more interesting variations when it passes you going fast. (And the speed will matter, too, for how much the tone changes.)

I wonder if you could make an interesting tune just from limited number of tones (sirens, horns, etc.) plus plausible-speed Doppler effect sounds....

Wikipedia lists 119 as being common in Asia, as well as Jamaica.

It also gives an explanation for why New Zealand had 111 instead of 999 as its emergency number, having to do with their phones reversing the numbering of the rotary pulse dials, so that 9 gave one pulse, and 1 gave 9 pulses. Apparently, by defining their emergency number as 111, they could use the British equipment designed for intercepting 999 calls and routing them to the emergency operator.

I wonder if the same thing might have happened in Jamaica and Asia, with reusing equipment designed for 911 in the US. Do you remember anything about rotary/pulse dial phones from Jamaica?

"With the Original Cast" by Nancy Kress, I think it is.

I'd like to echo Kathryn from Sunnyvale's advice for cellphone users in the U.S.: look up the emergency services direct-dial phone numbers for the municipalities you frequent and program them in your cellphone. I have 'em all prefixed 911 so they're together at the top of the list. Otherwise, in most places, you'll be waiting to get to the top of the state police's 911 queue and then talking to someone who doesn't know the names of local roads. (A friend noted that anyone looking in my cellphone would conclude I'm a narc, but I can live with that.)

I remember the story, but no more detail than you've given. Interesting premise.

I'm pretty sure this is With the Original Cast by Nancy Kress.

Jamaica, along with most other Caribbean countries is integrated into the Bell system now.

Apparently, the use of International English spelling on Wikipedia was a sign of anti-American bias.

I received my winged trilobite pin yesterday (and my copy of Voice of the Castle, too). The pin is very nice, you should get one! Haven't read VotC yet, but I don't think I'll be disappointed.

A pineapple?! Where?

Oh, phew. Thought my number was up on that one!

Also, on the subject of emergency calls for non-emergencies, this story came out as part of a UK campaign to prevent them. The tone of the responding policeman's voice is completely indescribable.

Though it's possible I'm projection from House here.

Miranda Richardson as Galadriel?

Also, clearly Gabrielle Glaister must play Eowyn.

But who should Stephen Fry play?

I am eternally grateful that Rowan Atkinson* wasn't cast as Voldemort.

*AlyxL @85, I feel your pain.

I've actually been working on something quite like that for a few days now. I haven't gotten the technique down yet, and I don't know if it'll go anywhere, but I really like the idea.

I also would really like to record people driving by me listening to various different kinds of music really loud and make something out of that, but I don't know how feasible that idea is, particularly with my very limited recording capabilities.

Unfortunately, like many of my early pieces it exists only in the proprietary format of a software system that is now obsolete (wouldn't run on a modern computer OS even if I could get a copy) and unsupported. That is, it's lost forever.

Part of what makes these these very early 70's Wimseys so interesting is that every scene pulsates with historical local color that mostly disappeared during the late 70's and the Thatcher and post-Thatcher eras.

One senses that outside of London there was less change from the between wars era until the middle 70's, than in many places. But after that, the acceleration kicked in, throttle wide-open and hasn't stopped, there or anywhere else, for that matter.

So the historic, local detail wasn't so much consciously chosen, as it was what it was, and that was what was available. This section of BBC was still very young, and didn't have the budgets that it achieved for its classics and drama series that it achieved in its funding heydays -- the Campion series for instance, cost an average of 1.5 million per episode. It's hard to see anything more lavish than a Campion series. You do see all that budget spent onscreen.

From what I understand budgets have been cut now, considerably.

Love, C.

It also gives an explanation for why New Zealand had 111 instead of 999 as its emergency number, having to do with their phones reversing the numbering of the rotary pulse dials, so that 9 gave one pulse, and 1 gave 9 pulses. Apparently, by defining their emergency number as 111, they could use the British equipment designed for intercepting 999 calls and routing them to the emergency operator.

The part about the reversed dial is true.
We were told that the point of using 999 in Britain and 111 here was that having a lot of pulses in the digits reduced the risk that equipment glitches or flashhook jiggles could generate a spurious call (possibly without the "caller" being aware of it) which could tie up a line and an operator, and possibly have emergency services sent to investigate.

JHomes

Interesting. Especially the manuals.

Yeah, I think I could assemble a ukulele kit.

The evidence for gayness being something you're born with is very strong.

But there doesn't seem to be any single cause. Nobody has found a gene, not are there any clear signs of a single factor of the enviroment in the womb.

I anticipate the usual suspects to shortly begin frothing at the mouth.

FISA Overview posted on Daily Kos.

I've read through it briefly, but not in as much detail as it deserves.

Worse: sometimes keeping the secret is the only protection gay kids have. They don't come out until they're free of their psycho-loonie parentals. Imagine if the parents knew from day one?

I need to stop thinking about this. It's so horrible that it's literally making me sick.

It's going to be an interesting 100 years or so.

and #103:

ISTR that there was pretty good evidence from twin studies that at least male homosexuality had a noticeable genetic component. (It's a lot easier to see evidence of that than to figure out the mechanism!)

Of course, the only way to approach questions like that is to separate any moral or political questions from the empirical ones. People who want to justify treating gays badly will find support for doing so in any set of facts or theories. (There's no question that being black is genetic, and no question that conversion to a new religion is voluntary. But there are plenty of people willing to hate you for either or both of these.) Similarly, the moral status of homosexuality tells you nothing about whether it's partly or wholly genetic.

Well, there's the opening sequence of 'St Louis Blues', which is clearly Dopplering train horns.

(Also, while we're momentarily clanged by the subject of handbells, listen to Fantasy on Hyfrydol for a 'wow' moment.)

http://scienceblogs.com/stoat/2008/07/remember_the_good_old_days.php
http://pwnie-awards.org/2008/
http://www.ybo-interactive.com/blog/2008/03/30/wordpress-vulnerability/

One's friends find a stray cat. Friends talk one into taking stray cat home as friends have dog that would pulverize cat. All no kill shelters in one's area are full. One has cat vaccinated and neutered. One's friends do not put up found cat postings they promised to. One becomes very stressed out sharing one's small apartment with another living being. None of one's acquaintances wish for a kitty. Would I one be a horrible human being if one "accidentally" left one's door open? The door a certain stray cat keeps trying to escape through? The door said cat has been meowing at for the past 5 minutes?

Is the cat likely to be hurt or killed if one lets it outside? Any large busy roads, coyotes, et cetera?

Loose kittens can get hit by cars, or preyed on by dogs or coyotes. Turning a kitten loose is *illegal*.

Better to risk a painless death than getting torn up or flattened.

The local Humane Society actually runs a Trap Neuter Release program, so I'm not sure that he might not actually end up back outdoors anyway if I took him in. As well, I grew up around Outdoor Only cats. It is very hard for me to wrap my mind around putting down a perfectly healthy cat.

I'm not really planning on opening the door and letting whatever happens, happen. I'm just not sure I would be able to convince myself to run after him if he manages to get past me and make a run for it.

We feel terrible keeping our cat indoors, mostly because we live in an apartment building and we don't trust the other humans to treat him with respect. He in particular is so much more alive when he's outside, meeting other cats, chasing things! Not having to deal with fleas as much is small compensation.

I gather though that the indoor/outdoor cat debate is common flamewar fuel. I guess it's just safe and pampered life vs. being locked away inside palace walls: two ways of looking at the same situation.

I just thought to myself, "Self... Google". Right away I found a messageboard about how many people in the community I currently live in have outdoor cats and it is practically unheard of for neighbors to call the Humane Society for pickups. I think all the healthy looking "strays" I've been seeing are actually pets. (This kitty was found in a nearby neighborhood across a four lane road that does not have the same visible presence of happy cats.) I think I'll just have him microchipped so if I ever do lose my patience and not run after him he can be scanned and returned if he doesn't come back for food on his own. I'm just going to have to keep fostering him until I find someone. Or until I run away myself.

As for the outdoor/indoor flamewar, I keep having it with myself. "He wants out, I should let him out." "No! There are pterodactyls out there!" "He sounds so sad, though. And he just pooped on the floor." "The pterodactyls have machine guns!"

He was outside our window the next night.

We didn't trap him again. Within weeks he disappeared, and we assumed he was hit by a car. I've always felt a little bad I didn't carry thru on my threat to the owner to trap him a second time and keep him.

Any cats we ever adopt will be indoors only. Nuff said...

Zed Lopez, #74, I live in a small city just outside an urban area and have never had trouble getting either the emergency or non-emergency operators on the first ring. However, they insist on addresses, which can be difficult. I had a situation where firefighters missed the place because they had an address instead of a description. I was at a Pizza Hut in a shopping center (only Pizza Hut in town) and an elderly woman became unconscious. I called 911 and checked her breathing and pulse -- they were both light and thready, but okay -- and told 911 that we were at the Pizza Hut in Wellington Station. The operator insisted on an address, which I got from a waitress standing fearfully by. So in a couple of minutes, the ambulance passes directly next to the Pizza Hut and goes out of the shopping center. I called 911 back (same operator, we are a small city) and told her that the ambulance had just gone by, to tell them to turn the corner and come back in the next entrance, which they did. As soon as they're in, the elderly woman became conscious and refused to go to the ER. I asked one of the guys why they missed it the first time through and he said "You should have just said it was the Pizza Hut" and I explained that I had. Hmph.

Dawno, #82, I ordered my winged trilobite last night, along with Voice of the Castle.

Lee, #84, do you have one that has:

O
MG
WTF
etc.

centered? I know someone who wants one.

Jen B. outdoor cats can learn to be indoor cats. Shiva insisted on moving in with us and then was surprised he wasn't going outside anymore. He's mostly gotten over it. What's the problem sharing with the cat? He hasn't learned to use the litterbox? He likes to sleep places you don't want him to? He walks on shelves and makes things fall? We can probably give you ideas on making that easier.

That's what I had to do to persuade my formerly-outdoor kitty to use a litterbox. Since I'm not home all the time, it works out to two litterboxes for the one cat, and I clean both of them once a day.

Good luck finding the owner.

They really didn't like "day after tomorrow": "This movie is to climate science as Frankenstein is to heart transplant surgery."

*I named him for the mark on his nose, which turned out to be a rare infection. It eventually went away.

How long it's been out of print doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not copyright has expired and the work has entered the public domain. The only point where it is "out of print" will matter is if it's so out of print that not even the publisher has the rights to it anymore to bother filing a lawsuit if they feel like you've infringed their copyright.

If the work is still in copyright (and I'd guess it is, given terms last over six hundred years*) then the only way you can quote from it is if you can use it in a way that qualifies as "Fair Use".

Unfortunately, I've yet to find a good website that gives a good rundown on fair use. Part of the problem is that you can't really define fair use in a purely objective way. You can't say "cut and paste 100 words or fewer is OK, 101 words or more is not OK".

If you can, you'll be better off taking the idea within the rule book that you like, boiling it down into some general principle or general rule, and then re-animating it using your own words, your own expression.

They can't copyright the ideas, they can only copyright the expression. Just don't hone too close to all the ideas, or they still might decide they can sue.

If you can't do that, and you really need to quote the book, then you'll just have to start reading up on Fair Use.

(*) give or take

One was attacked by a pit bull. He survived and is still with me. He's a ginger short-hair, neutered male, nine years old, he weighs eighteen pounds, he's polydactylic, and yes, he still goes out the cat door whenever he wants to, though not as frequently as he used to... The one who was an indoor cat was semi-feral, blind and mildly retarded. He didn't particularly want to go outside.

In your case however, it's important to know that games have some very interesting copyright limitations so you may actually need some real legal advice from an attorney with experience in these specifics.

This is actually pretty timely since I expect we'll be learning a lot more about copyright for games as Hasbro continues to throw it's weight around and cases like Scrabulous and 4th Edition D&D third party publishers start to land in court.

------
U.S. Copyright
The idea for a game is not protected by copyright. The same is true of the name or title given to the game and of the method or methods for playing it.

Copyright protects only the particular manner of an author’s expression in literary, artistic, or musical form. Copyright protection does not extend to any idea, system, method, device, or trademark material involved in the development, merchandising, or playing of a game. Once a game has been made public, nothing in the copyright law prevents others from developing another game based on similar principles.

Some material prepared in connection with a game may be subject to copyright if it contains a sufficient amount of literary or pictorial expression. For example, the text matter describing the rules of the game, or the pictorial matter appearing on the gameboard or container, may be registrable.

I mention Costa because I was playing in a Creeks and Crawdads (pub. 1986) zombie game at a Bay Area gaming convention in 2007, I think, and it was pretty full with 8 players or so, when two normal-looking guys show up and ask the GM, "Hey, do you think we could get in?" and he's like, "I dunno, it's pretty full," and the shorter of the guys says, "The thing is, though, I wrote the game..." Much glee. Costa: "I always wanted to do that!"

It's hard. On the farm, all cats were barn cats. But sometimes we'd go into the barn and one cat would stop showing up. If you do let them out, you should make sure they are vaccinated against feline leukemia. Stray cats might have it, and it'll wipe out an entire barn full of cats like nothing.

All our cats are indoor cats. We have one that is a fricken houdini and has gotten out twice. Both times, he came back after a week, screaming his head off, skinny as a rail.

The neighbor has an outdoor cat. let it out for years. Just didn't come home one night.

"The pterodactyls have machine guns!"

And they're synchronized to fire between the propeller blades, which is the freaky part.

Oh, you mentioned Craig's list. I haven't looked for a while, but they used to have a warning about giving pets away for free. People will pick them up, sometimes bring their kid along to look more legit, and then sell the animal to some testing facility or whatever. So, something to be aware of.

A long while ago, had a couple of rabbits that needed homes, and we found a 4H club (?) that had one-a-month meetings for rabbit owning 4H members. No, we weren't 4h members, but we called the organizer, asked if we could bring them up and find someoen to adopt, they said sure. we drove an hour and a half, spent a couple hours, and after the meeting, found two families, one for each rabbit. And the kids weren't so young that we had to worry about them dropping the rabbits or whatever.

Having the animal right there in the flesh can sometimes get people to adopt more than some text ad with a still photo on craigs list.

Surely, these are high-profile movies with specific bits (many, sometimes) of bad science. Most SF or SF-ish movies have science that's pure BS, much worse than Jurassic Park's one big (unlikely) premise. I thought their complaint about The Matrix was fair (and it hit you across the face when the scene happened in the movie--a sort of incongruous "WTF?" moment), but only if you didn't assume (as I ultimately did) that *everything* was happening inside the simulation, including the "real world" scenes with silly physics and Agent Smith and all that.

My wife and I were talking the other day about what movies are pretty good depictions of science--both being reasonably accurate about known science, and also getting the sense of how science and technology work right.

The best example we could come up with was _Apollo 13_. It's been a long time since I saw it, but I think _2001_ would also fit pretty well. I thought the movie _Contact_ did a reasonable job, though with an SFish premise and some random odd stuff in there, but again, it's been several years since I've watched it, so maybe I'm forgetting all kinds of goof-ups.

Yeah, I think they're actually the worst science of all "mainstream" or "popular" movies, not of all movies ever.

their complaint about The Matrix was fair

So, the idea I came up with, was that the Matrix was actually something the humans enforced on themselves to keep the species alive after the atmosphere was set on fire and all other life on the planet died.

And then something went wrong with the programming. Maybe the machines had to be sentient, and decided they didn't want to wake the humans up.

Or maybe some people woke up, thought the machines were the enemy, attacked the machines, and the machine artificial intelligence had programming directives like "keep humans alive", but couldnt' deal with humans from zion killing humans in the matrix. and so went all Hal-2000 on them.

The whole "electricity from your brain to power the machines" thing didn't make sense. But "keep you in the matrix to keep the human species alive until we can clean the atmosphere enough that you can come back and live in the real world", that, at least, had some sort of logical basis to it.

Just throw in some bad programming, mutually exclusive directives, to explain the agents, and there you go.

Amanda Peet and Xzibit were the stupidest pair of FBI special agents ever portrayed in fiction.

Joel Polowin@57: We haven't had a fully canonical explanation for the wings. We've seen versions of the House Sturmvoraus sigil with and without it, and Phil Foglio has said that the version without is the older one. I happen to think that Sturmvoraus added the wings when they became Wulfenbach vassals; but we don't know for certain.

Picked up my copy of Voice of the Castle today. I note with some displeasure that they didn't fix the inconsistent spelling of Carson von Mekkhan/Mekken's name; I note with some amusement that this time out, they haven't committed themselves to a title for the next volume.

We've always had indoor cats, but only one was a fanatic about it - she'd occasionally wander outside, look really confused about the great big room with the blue ceiling and really bright light, and hightail it back inside.

And it's not like movies are really accurate about anything, not just sci/tech. What was the movie that had the guy jumping out of a White House window into an alley? And all those girls who suddenly realize that their best friend is really a better match for them than the bad-boy types they've been dating all this time? (Or all the stalkers who just know that she's the right girl for them, if only they don't give up until she comes to her senses?)

I wonder if this means that there really is a Weasel Queen whose minions are 7-foot-tall flesh-eating rabbits.

Do you mean, that she exists as a real part of graphic story made up by an inventive artist? I'd say she and her minions are at least as real as the Easter Bunny, and possibly as real as the Tooth Fairy. And they could probably have lunch with Travis McGee (and stick him for the bill).

Rozasharn: He's only pooped on the floor once: while I was cleaning the litter box. That's a good idea for the 2nd box. I just have no idea where to put it. I suppose I could just switch them out.

I'm fairly doubtful about finding the owner (if there ever was a proper owner). All the shelters around here are full from people abandoning their pets after foreclosures. When I went to drop the cat off today for his neutering it turned out almost everyone there was like me: didn't want a pet, was looking for someone to take it, but there just aren't any takers right now. One woman had a cat in to get spayed whose kittens she'd had fixed the week before. That cat showed up with its identification: and she still has to keep it because the owners purposely abandoned her after losing their home. For the past few month the local shelters have also been dealing with a case of animal hoarding. Hopefully the friends who were supposed to print up the Found Cat notices 11 days ago finally did so after my angry phone call last night. (I have no printer and they live in the neighborhood he was found. And were the ones who called me to take him.)

Greg: I listed the cats on Craigslist as "Found" rather than as "Free". I left off some distinguishing features so only the real owner should be able to convince me. But thanks for the warning, I hadn't thought of animal testing. ::shudder::

A pterodactyl with propellers? Preposterous! Who ever heard of such a... oh.

Thanks for the input everyone. I think I'm going to try him out as indoor/outdoor. Maybe if I have my space totally to myself for part of the time, I won't be so stressed out sharing it the rest of the time.

Secondly, testing facilities do not want animals of random origin. It introduces too much variability into the research. Research animals come from fairly homogenous background.

Finally, the vast majority of research (98-99% of all animals) is still done with mice and rats, with zebrafish a growing part of this sector. The remaining 1-2% includes all other species used in research (rabbits, other rodents, dogs, cats, cows, goats, pigs, ferrets, other fish species, and monkeys).

Despite the tendency of animal rights groups to focus on Fido and Fluffy, the research that we do does not depend on stolen pets. One thing to think about: the research which benefits humans also benefits animals. Today we give dogs and cats the same heart medicines, perform kidney transplants, treat cats and dogs for cancer, do orthopedic surgeries, replace cataractous lenses, test vaccines, and more.

I've found that the best way to catch a cat is to not chase her, which is counter-intuitive at the moment of escape. I used to catch my indoor/outdoor cat by digging random holes in the front yard until she showed up to see what I was doing. I even caught a horse with this technique, although not in the front yard.

"Flicka! What are you doing down there?"

As for not chasing cats... That's what I wound up doing a few weeks ago when Agatha ran out at 4am. Darkness and the backyard's many bushes made searching for her a futile task. I did try to find her. I wound up turning on the porch light. Two hours later, with dawn peeking, I couldn't stand it and walked all the way to the top of the backyard. No Agatha. Of course, when I came back down, she was waiting for me on the back porch. After a bit of her half-heartedly running away, I finally was able to get her back in.

Agatha, Cat Genius indeed.

A gryphon with multiple heads that can detach in mid-flight is a MIRV gryphon.

Funny you should say that, because the pterodactyls-with-machine-guns that immediately popped into my head... well, let's just say that synchronization wasn't actually an issue for them. (And I hate to come off like some kind of petty chauvinist, but nobody designs weird aircraft quite like the British do*.)

*Okay, did. (sighs nostalgically...)

Considering how many humans I've known to keep digging when they find themselves in a hole, it's not surprising a horse would do it.

Jen B @ 150: I'm sure that cat had a severe bout of claustrophobia. I've seen that happen with cats that pushed through a cat door and then realized that the Wrong Human was looking at them. It ran frantically through the basement, but there's only one door. Rather than chase the cat, I opened the door and stepped away from the house. A few seconds later the feline missile could be seen exiting and departing at high speed.

*For values of cat that include "calm" and "smart". The freaked out fraidy-cats have to be caught by other means, which usually results in someone** bleeding all over the draperies, while someone else (coughfelinecough) pees all over those same draperies. No names will be mentioned, to spare the dignity of the (BT) cat that might have been involved.

**That would usually refer to me, since I am the default "catcher of animals and animal-related things".

...especially if Mister Ed notices that Flicka is down there.

I'd like to request a defenestration, please.
Those are truly - something or other.

But thank someone it has not occurred to the latest batches of cats to climb the curtains.

Some years ago, I accidentally trained my cats to go sit on the hearth and wait while I prepared their dinner. I wanted them out from under my ankles, so I started pointing/herding/tossing them (as the case warranted) in the direction of the hearth, where their dishes of food would be brought to them. Eventually I saw the potential here and started introducing the command words "Sit" and "Stay."

Some time after this process was firmly entrenched, I had to take the Null-bit to the vet. Null is the one who's agoraphobic - on the drive from Oregon to Colorado, I'd take both cats out on a leash at gas stops; Uno* would calmly take care of business on the grass, but Null would howl desperately, climb up my leg, and crawl inside my jacket. His head got kind of stuck halfway down the sleeve. It was pathetic. Attempts to train him further in the mystery of leash, harness, and going walkies result in so much vocal panic on his part that the neighbors ask me if I'm trying to kill him.

So, I park the car, gather up Null-kitty in my arms, and attempt to convey him inside the four walls where he's safe. Null goes into full-bore crazy mode. "I just survived the vet! They poked and prodded me and I only just escaped with my life! AND NOW SOMEONE HAS REMOVED THE CEILING! HELP! I MIGHT FALL INTO THE SUN!" He squirms out of my arms and makes a break for it down the block

(Note to self: carrier and/or leash-and-harness next time.)

So I ran after him down the block to the next building over. He headed around a corner. I caught up while he was deciding what to do next. I yelled, "Null, sit!"

Whaddaya know. He sat.

Of course, he stood up again immediately, but that moment of habitual obedience gave me the time I needed to get within grabbing range.

Sometimes friends or family come over and they are darn-near offended at the whole "OK kids, go wait for dinner" routine. "You've trained them! You're treating them like dogs!" Oh horrors. I respond by telling them this anecdote. Generally they concede that a trained Null-bit, however dog-like, is better than an escaped Null getting squashed by a car or machine-gunned by pterodactyls.

*Yes, they're binary. This is what happens when geek marries geek and the geeks adopt kittens.

Cue to Cat Stevens's Teaser and the Fire Cat...

Welcome back!

I like that story! And I think any cries of "you've trained them!" from me would be astonishment, not censure.

I do think that accidental training is the easiest kind to give a cat, unfortunately. We accidentally trained the cat not to jump on the bed once. We did this by not being in our established places when he jumped up. He landed on my legs and I yelped in startlement, so he sensibly ran away and thereafter avoided the bed. We mostly managed to re-train him that the bed was okay, but he's far less available for bedtime cuddles than he used to be, and really only jumps up if he's called now.

TexAnne! Welcome back, however sporadic it is.

John McPhee writes of a guy who catches cattle by lying down in the field and extending one leg straight up. The cows, overcome by curiosity, amble over.

Friends have a cat who dashes madly outside at any opportunity. She then becomes confused, falls over, and rolls gently side to side until they come scoop her up.

#152 ::: Erik Nelson
..some of the best wordplay recently, and the competition is stiff

TexAnne - welcome back! Been doing any knitting in your copious spare time?

The World's Biggest Sock is in Denver. Unfortunately, it's just an attempt at a Guinness listing. OTOH, how cool that the conditioned response is now, wow, I'll go do that, what is our effort benefiting?

Once I was taking care of him again, it was easy to get him un-trained; partly this is because he actually listened to me when I told him "No!", but mostly it's because I paid attention when he asked to go out in less obtrusive ways, and opened the door like a good pet human.

This same cat was effectively raised by one of our indoor cats, even though they're not related, and after a while any time she succeeded in sneaking out of the house he'd go keep an eye on her until we could get her back in--even if he'd just come inside himself.

My friend Tom, who is both an animal control officer and a dog rescuer, catches runaway dogs by sitting down on the curb with his back to the dog and eating pork rinds.

Welcome back, TexAnne!

Madeline

They're at Pioneer Woman Cooks:

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/02/apple_dumplings/

(I also like her chicken spaghetti and her mystery rolls.)

And Hollywood had better get around to making the Swordspoint movie PRONTO. JRM has already aged out of the Alec role, and won't be suited for Michael Godwin much longer either, and what if Bob Anderson DIES before he can do the fight choreography?

Nicole @ 165: Well-done! I've trained all my cats to stay away from the front door when I'm coming through -- that way I avoid anyone making a mad dash for outside. However, Kedgie and I have trained each other regarding the proper dispensing of milk for her.

Eric @ 152: I'm afraid you've committed syndactyly.

*Back in my younger days, we ran workshops for the Urologists (continuing education) and they use their instruments for one procedure only, so I collected the discarded clean instruments and play- er, practiced with them.

Paula Helm Murray @ 164: Well, I should explain that the drapery-climbing occurred under special circumstances, namely she was the last cat to be boxed for transport to the new house. My mistake. She was totally freaked out by all the cat-catching and -boxing, and wanted No Part Of It. My partner had never seen a cat freak out, and was nearly freaking out herself. While I bled, I calmly requested that she open the cat carrier so I could put the bundle of shrieking peeing pooping kicking and biting cat fur in. Need I mention that the cat was mad at me for weeks after?

She should watch the James Bond movie You Only Live Twice, specifically near the end, when the volcano lair of evil Blofeld is under attack by the good guys. His cat is definitely freaking out, and trying to escape from his clutches, even if it means clawing all flesh away from actor Donald Pleasance.

Suddenly I was at one end of a bouncing, spitting, whirl of action.

I caught her— she bit me, and she has never harmed be before or since— and hid under a parked car. The leash was still trailing out, so Evil Rob (who had seen the whole incident, laughing hysterically) went inside, got a leather coat, and extracted her. He had to hold her for a good half hour before she'd allow us to peel her off the jacket.

She's not much cottoned to the outside since, and that includes three moves through seven states— Western states, to boot.

I still wish somebody'd been videotaping.

Welcome back. We saved you a seat by the fire.

There was a segment on NPR about that trend a week or two ago... as difficult as that situation is, it beats some of the alternatives.

Some people think that instead of leaving their pets at a shelter to risk euthanization, the animals would be better off being a.) "liberated" into a nearby park, wildlife area, or just general neighborhood; or b.) left inside the house in hopes that the familiar surroundings might comfort them somehow.

Even the likely outcomes of "liberation" (death by car, starvation, exposure or predator) seem relatively merciful to being oublietted inside an empty house. The animal control expert being interviewed said that in the latter case, usually by the time the pets were found, they were either so frantic that their behavior had become unadoptable (claustrophobia/abandonment issues, ingrained habit of digging/scratching at the doors and windows in an attempt to get out), or they had starved to death (often with futile scraps of carpet, wallboard etc. left in their stomachs because they'd had nothing else to eat).

Regarding places changing through the decades, i recall towns in the Scottish and english borders which in the 80's still looked 30 or 40 years behind the times. They'll be completely changed now, of course, but back in the 80's the 70's had still to reach them.

A while ago I was driving along a road in edinburgh, when an ambulance came up behind me, but the car behind me just didn't seem to notice this large white thing with flashing blue lights and siren behind it for several seconds. I (of course) had noticed it earlier, but the driver behind me seemed like a rabbit in headlights, and didn't move for ages.

Edinburgh also has a moderately good municipal fire service museum, with pumps and tenders going back a century. I visited it in doors open day, they have some steam powered ones, up to a Land rover fire engine. It was interesting examining the old ladders made out of thick wooden laminates. They were in use up to the 70's or so, then they repleaced them with the Aluminium ones. But the basic pump tender design seems not to have changed since the 70's or so.

For those who want their classic science fiction combined with classical music there's this event on Sunday morning (note to Lee, it involves David Tennant).

Because I think, whether it's cool or stupid, it's looking like we might actually do it.

What Bush and Batman Have in Common

By ANDREW KLAVAN

July 25, 2008; Page A15

A cry for help goes out from a city beleaguered by violence and fear: A beam of light flashed into the night sky, the dark symbol of a bat projected onto the surface of the racing clouds . . .

Oh, wait a minute. That's not a bat, actually. In fact, when you trace the outline with your finger, it looks kind of like . . . a "W."

There seems to me no question that the Batman film "The Dark Knight," currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past.

And like W, Batman understands that there is no moral equivalence between a free society -- in which people sometimes make the wrong choices -- and a criminal sect bent on destruction. The former must be cherished even in its moments of folly; the latter must be hounded to the gates of Hell.

"fortitude and moral courage", forsooth! Me think me wound up in Bizarro World.

No, wait. It's only another Murdoch yellow rag.

*sigh*

I have two cats, myself, both of them feral kitties that I taught to live indoors. Maggie, my little dilute tortie, got outside once, by accident. Of course, she immediately decided that she liked the free life much better, and to cat hell with what I wanted for her.

I, missing her terribly, removed entirely the screen from the window she'd squirmed her way out, and proceeded to spend every spare moment for two weeks camped by that window, feeding endless plates of sardines and tuna to the feral colony and every stray for several blocks in any direction. Sardines have a very penetrating scent, and will attract cats from quite a ways away, as well as imparting a delectable aroma to ones apartment.

Eventually, Maggie came to investigate. It took a combination of sardines, her favorite wet food, and a string dangled through the window for her to play with to get her to agree to come up onto the windowsill. She sniffed my hand, and the light of recognition dawned in her eyes. "Oh, you're the mommy human with the clever paws. Right."

And then she walked in, over the table by the window and rubbed her face on mine.

I closed the window, and to welcome her home, gave her a bath.

She's never left since, and those few trips outdoors, she's always come back when called. Seems she likes endless food, clean water, and all the scratches she can get. And really, who can blame her?

*Yes, I've taught both my kitties to come when called, and to take baths without ripping me to shreds. I can also trim their claws with no fuss. Both born feral, grew up feral, but now they live with me. It's a little known fact that I speak cat.

They do get to go out in the garden on harnesses, to graze.

Nicole @ 165 Well done. I've been working on training our cats to come when called ("Treat!") since the thread which discussed catching your cat in the "get-out-the-house-NOW" emergency situation.

Possibly both, but definitely cool. I'm sure that for good or ill, it will be unforgettable.

Julie L @ 184: People actually abandoned their pets inside a shut-up house? What do they imagine they're doing, aside from racking up their coals in hell?

On cats, indoor/outdoor: some friends of ours harness-trained their two Burmese cats, then to give them outdoor time would leash (long retractable leashes) them to gallon milk jugs partially filled with sand in their back yard. The cats could haul the jug anchors about easily enough, but were prevented from running off entirely. So far as I know, it hasn't hurt them at all.

Re: Kitties!

Our kitties' mom is my sister-in-law's cat. She started feeding a local stray, and when she realized it was pregnant, she figured she'd better make the adoption official for the sake of the kittens. We ended up with Linus and Lucy, and SIL kept momma cat. The other two kittens were supposed to be adopted by other friends, but when said friends couldn't follow through, they went to the local no-kill shelter as soon as they had space.

"Looks like a fish. Moves like a fish. Steers like a cow."

Annie (my current rescue-kitty) went from nearly 10 years as indoor-outdoor to the last two years as indoor only. She's not always OK with that, but: there are coyotes here, and people lose cats to them. Wish she'd understand when I *tell* her that, though. *wry*

We will will have dinosaurs: perhaps even shiny dinosaurs. We will have numinous luminous Fluorospherians. Eating light? Certainly. Eating chocolate? of course. Special appearance by Abi, through the magic of nets.

If you're going to Denvention and think you might be dropping by that Friday evening, please leave a note here on Serge's LJ (you can comment w/out a LJ account), so that neither too much or too little mammoth is ordered. You can also email me directly.

Details:
# Friday the 8th,
# Starting about 9:30pm--but the real-true start will be when the masquerade is done: many MLers will be in the audience or on stage (and that's a priority and a must-see, especially if you haven't been to a Worldcon masquerade before),

# ending when it ends--maybe a bit earlier than that, we'll see.

# in the party hotel, #7 on the map. That's 3 1/2 blocks from the C.C.= where the Masquerade will be held--in a 5000 seat auditorium--so everyone can go and see the Masquerade.

# Room number to be announced / LJ'd / twittered / IM'd / posted here Wednesday, after arrival in Denver.

While it isn't a closed party, it won't be openly promoted on-site. Cryptically promoted--yes. Lightbulbs are a clue. Also, there'll be note for "Making Light" on the people-note-connections board thingy.

More information to come.

Special request from me for anyone driving to Denver from the SFBA--if you have a little extra cargo space, I've got some party supplies that would be better driven than flown if possible (new baggage limits and all that).

-------------
* maybe winding down a bit exactly then from now.

Aside: Font lovers (which I suspect most Fluorospherians are) will probably enjoy this video (SFW, has audio, put down your drinks first).

Go hug your pets.

I kan now has bettr cluze thn mai randahm intranets poking hads prohduces! Blessings of Ceiling Cat upon thees!!!

AD&D shall live again!

And while I was Googling around for that, I also found an even worse news story from New Jersey about when foreclosure happens to someone who was already an animal hoarder.

All our cats are indoors only. The most recent adoptee, Rikkus, was, we think, one of the "foreclosure cats" mentioned uptopic. He'd been seen around the neighborhood for several years, occasionally harassing our neighbor Anne's cats thru the glass patio door. Earlier this year, it was noticed that his coat was getting matted and he was losing weight. Apparently, his owners left him behind when they moved, and he wasn't that successful at the feral life. (He had a microchip, it turned out, but it was from the shelter in Seattle where he'd been adopted ten years ago, and the owner listed in their records was out of date.) So he ended up being assimilated ("Resistance is futile!") into our household.

There was also the case of Jack-A-Dandy, the kitten born to Cassie (the "rescue cat" before Rikkus, another apparent case of an unwanted cat simply being dumped on the street), who was also the World's Cutest One-Eyed Kitten. Adopted him out to an acquaintance, things went well for several months, then he dashed out an open door, across the yard and into the street, where he was -- literally -- blindsided by a car.

(That sounds sad, and it was, but it turned out to be a good thing for Jack-A-Dandy. Several months afterward, the boyfriend of the acquaintance who'd adopted Jack broke up with her and moved out. This precipitated a psychotic breakdown in the acquaintance, and to punish the boyfriend for breaking up with her... she murdered the other half-dozen cats they'd had together. I don't want to share any of the details I learned about what happened to the cats, but it wasn't painless and it wasn't quick; I still get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it. It's just... someone seems and acts normal, and suddenly... you find there's a monster inside that person, capable of hideous, depraved cruelty. So, Jack-A-Dandy was actually the lucky one of the cats, to die as quickly and relatively painlessly as he did.)(Yes, the acquaintance was arrested. I didn't follow the case after that, so I don't know whether she ended up in prison or in a mental hospital.)

On a related topic, though, here's a wonderful video in which folks are asked to say whether various quotes are by Batman (Adam West version) or Bush (via). I'm particularly fond of the guy with the magazines.

Oh, I wish that was in the US! It sounds fantastic!

I'm sure that's largely an assumption with merit; after all, I'm not gonna vote for John McCain no matter how reprehensible Obama's actions become. But I might stay home on Election Day, or just not select a candidate in the Presidential race that day. They really should have that in the back of their minds.

http://home.comcast.net/~stefan_jones/braille_pile2.JPG

There were three more stacks half as high as those.

Turned out to be braille books. Dozens of them.

Only, really lame braille books; reams and reams and reams of Jehova's Witnesses literature:

http://home.comcast.net/~stefan_jones/braille_pile3.JPG

Baby moose in sprinkler!

In her post about the Obama campaign being rogered by the Pentagon, in re his trip/non-trip to Landstsuhl, she said it was an AF Base. So I decided to make a clarifying point (it's an army hospital, it was the third stop in my trip back to the States in 2003).

That too was a mistake, the commenter, Skeptic... not nice.

In fact, one of the most egregious examples of the right-wing stereotype of the troop-hating lefty.

I think I'm going to go have a drink now.

Watch the baby moose video.

Long-distance hugs for you if you want them.

That would suck.

OTOH, I've realized that the party isn't until Friday, so the invertase has until then to work its magic. So I have a little time to fix screwups.

Yes it sucks (I recall from the last time a commenter at Digby caused me to complain, and your support means a lot; even when I'm not; exactly, petitioning for it), but one does get used to it; mostly.

But as I tried to say there (and no, for my mental health I have no intention to go back), it's stupid. I don't care how much one might think that sort of thing, it's very bad tactics.

When it pisses someone like me (who is on that idjit's side) to the point I won't read what he has to say, it's shooting yourself in the head; jus to prove a point.

On the subject I was came here to mention, Castle Island Company (which I think is mostly Ed Grenaa) has an amazing page on rapid prototyping and computer controlled fabrication. Anyone interested in this subject who hasn't seen it, check it out.

That reminds me of the cartoon that showed someone stuck to a train track, and the big-choo-choo is getting closer, and the person tells Lassie to get help and she does - on a therapist's couch.

In their discussion of Jurassic Park, there's this little gem:
"The problem is that it would be almost impossible to clone the dinosaurs based on DNA pulled from the guts of a 25 million-year-old mosquito."

Yes, indeed. Especially given that dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

(Now, my impression is that Crichton actually did get the dating of his amber correct -- though Spielberg moved the amber mine scene to the Dominican Republic, where the oldest amber is post-dinosaur -- but there are any number of other problems. Like, why fill in the "missing" dinosaur DNA with frog DNA? Heck, human DNA would be a closer match. But then you've have to have a story about human-dinosaur hybrids... which might be kind of cool in a completely silly way...)

I am pleased to see that they included The Core, which Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics called "the worst physics movie we've ever viewed."

Yeah, I thought Jurassic Park took their one SFish premise (which may very well be as impossible as sentient computers, which is to say, nobody knows how to do it now, but there's not any known physical law forbidding it, as with (say) FTL travel) and then mostly tried to play by the rules of known reality after that.

This seems very different from those blow up the asteroid one day from Earth, thus saving mankind movies, which themselves were at least somewhat less nutty than the more common sprinkling of technobabble onto implausibilities or deus-ex-machina new tech invented on the spot to resolve the Star Trek episode's problem, and then forgotten forever more.

Dave Bell @ 180: So long as you stay on \your/ side of the pond....

guthrie@185 (& prev) re unchanging towns: our 1995 guidebook pointed to a trail of interesting sites south of Oban; the iron smelter (built because shipping ore from the lake district made sense before coal became major) was interesting to us geeks, but we were both floored by a tiny community in which people had lived in ~medieval conditions (e.g., animals in the other half of a house) until 1964.

Bruce A @ 189: Being a Murdoch rag, they left out lines like -"[I won't kill the Joker because] I don't want to become that which I hate."- (Hardly surprising; asking even the pre-Murdoch WSJ to have a conscience was a little like asking a T rex to consider vegetarianism.)

Bruce @ #205, that's hysterical, especially as I found myself going, "It must be Batman; it's too coherent for Bush."

Terry: Skeptic has a screw loose. Eventually his/her head will fall off. Until then the less attention paid, the better. Thank you for your service, your compassion, your commitment to justice, and your civility.

(paragraph 10]:
Keyes ends up sulking in a bar with his friend Serge.

Understandable that one seeking comfort would head for a bar and hang out with Serge. But, Serge, what's in it for you? Was it worth it?

Note that both of these programs were produced to be shown on BBC2, which traditionally has lower budget, less mass-market-appealing shows than the primary BBC1 channel.

I can't find any reference to whether Campion was a BBC1 or 2 production, but I seem to recall it was first shown on BBC1 (as an early-evening Saturday program, IIRC -- that is, the slot that traditionally attracts the biggest budget).

On the commentary track on the Neverwhere DVD, Gaiman says the original plan was to give the series a film-look treatment to make it look slicker. (This is how the new Doctor Who is done, although they don't give it the imitation film grain sometimes used with this process in the past. The result is something that looks interestingly like a cross between video and film. You can see what the raw video looks like on the deleted scenes in the third season box set, which apparently were never treated.)

Several years ago, when I was in my first apartment as a grown-up, and had recently acquired a stray kitten as a roommate, I returned home from my long day at work (I taught at a boarding school and teachers stayed late one day a week for residential duty) to find a note on my dining room table from the police. It seems my apartment building neighbors had made a noise complaint that day...odd, since it was just me and Mica (kitten), and I had been at work for 14 hours.

I called the police station and while I was on hold I wandered the small apartment to see if anything was amiss. My TV and stereo were both unplugged. When I got through, I was told that my TV had been blasting, and I hadn't responded to knocks, so the manager had let the police in and they had unplugged. I explained that I had been at work all day, and there was no explanation other than that perhaps my kitten had stepped on the remote controls.

Epilogue: The next day Mica had been scheduled to be altered, so I was going in to work late. It was about 8 am, and there was a pounding on my door. Two officers were there, and with the immediate attitude like I was a hardened criminal that had pulled over a fast one by blasting my TV and not even being present. I explained my theory re: kitten, and apologized, and promised I would keep the remote controls in a drawer from now on. They left with a "See that you do," and a suspicious look.

Mica also had a tendency to dip the underside of his rather furry, longhaired tail in a lit candle on the dining room table. I'm lucky I never got the fire department called on me because of him either.

We lost Mica to feline leukemia (probably latent, since he was never an outdoor cat after I adopted him) 5 years ago, and our second-eldest cat has never been the same since.

This would be different from a cat's normal attitude? Every one I've ever lived with was a skeptic to its core.

But that people were still living like that in 1964 is a surprise- I thought it had died out by WW2.

Interviewer: For the last two decades, most of your fiction has veered toward science fiction, which has disappointed literary critics like Harold Bloom.

Lessing: I can’t be bothered with Bloom. A lot of people think some of my best writing is in science fiction, and they are just as significant as bloody Bloom.

And abi, 9: it's true (or was true) in France, too. You get police/fire sirens that go, "Tiens bon, tiens bon" (hang on, hang on) and ambulances that go, "T'es foutu! T'es foutu!" (you're fucked up! you're fucked up!). I think these days they're switching to American sirens, which is hideously disappointing.

Look at The Honeymooners for as long as you can stand it

Oh, man, some one else who doesn't think that show is the pinnacle of Western Civilization! I've always hated the dialog and the scripts in general; they were clearly written by middle class fratboys who thought working class people were some sort of pond scum. Aside from the fact that the single most common theme in the show was a celebration of spousal abuse.

In fact, the only good thing about it was that it gave Art Carney's career a leg up. Would have been nice if it had done the same for Audrey Meadows.

And as far as I know (though of course I haven't watched the entire canon, since I find it insulting, degrading, and tedious, not to mention being a kind of comedy (embarrassment comedy) that I detest) he never so much as lifted a hand to her in credible threat, let alone laid one on her in anger. Similarly, Archie Bunker never laid a hand on Edith (though she slapped him one time), though in that case you'd have to call his behavior toward her verbally abusive IF not for the fact that it never affected her in any way.

It also looks like they're repeating the run of "Breaking Bad" starting tonight.

Labor Day Weekend is a MUCH better time for Worldcons, for me....

Digby's comment section is pretty out of control, if you ask me. Manageably small, but not what it used to be when I still read her comments -- way way way more heat than light, if that one's any indication.

Her posts, of course, are reliably and regularly wonderful.

So I was reading Lois McMaster Bujold's account of her struggle trying to write a book that was *both* full fantasy and full romance. She was describing how in her latest supernovel she was attempting to do three things.

(1) To do a "new world" rather than an "old world" fantasy:

>: TSK began as a project to give myself pleasure in writing again at a time when I felt very dry.... I was doing several literary experiments at once.... [First,] playing with landscapes and social-scapes that were distinctly New World, not recycled European medievaloid...

(2) To do an anti-Manichean fantasy:

>[T]o see what would happen if I gave my characters a real grown-up problem to grapple with, one that defied easy, cathartic solutions like cutting off some bad guy’s head or toppling the Dark Tower du Jour...

(3) But most of all to do a fantasy that was also a romance, or perhaps a romance that was also a fantasy:

>But foremost I wanted to see what would happen when I tried to make a romance the central plot of a fantasy novel... after all, I’d had romantic sub-plots in both my fantasy and my SF books before, and wasn’t it just a matter of shifting the proportions a bit?...

And it did not work:

>[W]ow was that ever a learning experience, not only about what makes a romance story work, but, more unexpectedly, uncovering many of the hidden springs and assumptions that make fantasy work. It turns out to be a much harder blending that I’d thought.... The two forms have different focal planes. In a romance in the modern genre sense, which may be described as the story of a courtship from first meeting to final commitment, the focus is personal; nothing in the tale (such as the impending end of the world, ferex) can therefore be presented as more important.... [I]t has been borne in upon me how intensely political most F&SF plots in fact are. Political and only political activity (of which war/military is a huge sub-set) is regarded as “important” enough to make the protagonists interesting to the readers in these genres.... [A]ttempts to make the tale about something, anything else – artistic endeavor, for instance – are regularly tried by writers, and as regularly die the grim death in the marketplace. (Granted The Wind in the Willows or The Last Unicorn will live forever, but marginalized as children’s fiction.) I have come to believe that if romances are fantasies of love, and mysteries are fantasies of justice, F&SF are fantasies of political agency. (Of which the stereotypical “male teen power fantasy” is again merely an especially gaudy and visible subset)...

And that made me think that I wanted to reread something Teresa Nielsen Hayden had written about the role of cliche in genre fiction--something about how you turn it upside down and all of a sudden you are no longer falling victim to cliche but instead simply punching the time clock, and it's just the semi-obligatory scene set at Almack's that belongs in a regency romance...

But I cannot find this anywhere here, or elsewhere on the internet, no matter how I cast my google net.

Did I imagine this? Did I dream this? Does anybody else remember seeing this?

And after I find this I am going to go reread Hilzoy's famous and unfortunate:

female : romance :: male : *Hustler* centerfold

(If only she'd said "male: Botticelli's 'Nascita di Venere'" instead!...

I must tell my wife about your post because writing fantasy novels where romance is the central plot is what she does for a living.

(Funniest series ever made about terminal cancer and drug dealing.) (And it has characters faced with horrifying moral choices, too.)

(This is my take on it, based on a friend who has a large collection of hats)

Also, the defining characteristic of the guy with two hats may not be "awesomeness", Neil's friend notwithstanding. The guy in the hat is a recurring character at XKCD, and has been generally established as a person you don't want to mess with. My take is that the strip shows the guy in the hat seeing the guy with two hats, and realising that here is somebody who is to him as he is to nearly everybody else.

So glad I'm not the only one. I do not get the popularity of embarrassment comedy.

playing with landscapes and social-scapes that were distinctly New World, not recycled European medievaloid...

I was just rereading the first two books of that series, and found myself noting precisely that quality--alligators and skunks and raccoons rather than foxes and wolves and badgers, and the Lakewalkers sound distinctly Native American in color and build. Very New World, I thought.

I just read on TPM that Monica Goodling (ex-Justice Department) used to ask prospective lawyers who wanted to work in the Justice Department the following question: "What is it about George Bush that makes you want to serve him?"

Evidently this woman could not distinguish George Bush from Jesus Christ. IANAL, so I don't know if her questions broke the law, and I'm willing to bet real money that even if they did, she'll never do time. But we are allowed to hoot loudly and point, right? *Hoots, points, considers throwing feces, decides not to...*

The last time I leaned on ML for support in this sort of situation was for a different poster in one of her comment threads. In some ways I think made my comment here because of the long discussion of moderation in the Yog's laws post (and it might have been better made in that thread).

People like Skeptic exist, and short of abusing myself by going in and waging war (which war, no matter the outcome, I will lose, because the close association with that sort of directed hatred is bad for the soul, or I will quit the field and the spewer of said toxic sludge will claim the victory of holding the field) there is nothing I can about them.

So Skeptic wasn't my target, and I did a drive-by; knowing full well I would be the target of more self serving "wit" and pointless objectifying libels.

I am amused, but not surprised, to find out that is exactly what came to pass.

What bothers me is that she was asking lawyers for the DoJ, to serve the man, not the law; nor The Nation, but George Bush.

Creepier, IMO, because that way lies autocracy.

Eureka's US season premiere is tomorrow night at what I've begun to think of as "eight o'clock, nine for those of us unfortunate enough to live outside of the Central Time Zone."

For this, and for the realization that the Summer of Stupid is nearly half-way over, I give appropriate thanks.

Sensitive, me? Why do you ask?

Because he couldn't get a job and his food stamp allowance was cut back.

Skeptic (by my reading on that thread) isn't a troll, just a habitual flamer with a really poisonous attitude, ready to take on the world, starting with anybody foolish enough to post there. Your post was gasoline on the fire, I figure -- but I'm really not kidding that after reading Skeptic's previous rantage, then your post, I literally just read ten words into Skeptic's immediate response and then closed the window. Because life is too short. Others had already been trying to engage; Skeptic was having none of it, and I can read those signs a mile off (just as long as I'm not the one involved -- and if I'd read further, I would have been involved.)

You were smart to leave it. And it was good of you to make the points you did. Don't feel bad about it.

On the other point -- is there really a difference between Jesus Christ and fealty? Isn't the entire point of the Christian establishment the undershoring of European-style authority? (In the same way that the Koran talks about being the slave of God, I suppose, the Bible talks about the King of Kings.) Damned recidivist nonsense (by which I don't mean Christianity, I mean this nyeh-kultoorny confusion of Christianity with the American state). I think it's time to secede.

Goodling is the twit who testified before Congress that she "swore an oath to President Bush..."

The oath she's talking about has nothing to do with Dubya, it similar to the one the Prez swears on Inauguration Day, and the oath refers to the Constitution.

Every Federal employee takes it when they're hired.

What a mess.

I had something like that start to rear its ugly head a few years back, and pointed out to the proposer that ArmadilloCon was my one annual spree, already paid, and I'd be quite willing to do whatever it was anytime but that. Accommodations were made, and everyone was happy.

I'm going to have to attend some services there. Someone like that gunman doesn't get to win.

*googles "null corgi"*

*clicks on the did-you-mean*

OK, I now know THAT it's a joke, but I still can't figure out what a corgi is. Core graphical interface maybe?

Hulk smash punny human.

The ohnorobot.com transcription reads:

{{The Black Hat Man is Walking}}
{{The Black Hat Man stops in front of another Man with two Black Hats.}}
{{After two panels, The Original Black Hat Man steps backward, shuddering slightly.}}

http://mormontimes.com/ME_blogs.php?id=1586

I haven't read most of the books he's written in the past 15 years because I refuse to give money to someone whose views I find so detestable. And, no, I've never accepted religion as excusing these sorts of views and I never will. Why more people don't treat him as a pariah remains a mystery to me.

If I could get up the energy I'd be tempted to mail him substituting "heterosexuality" for each instance of "homosexuality" and ask for elaboration. Do you suppose his neck would bulge?

B. Durbin, #179: That reminds me of the story of Hei Yu -- another one of those "Well, it's funny now" situations.

Fragano, #187: The thought is appreciated, but we were on the road over the weekend. OTOH, after Worldcon I might be able to get my partner to find it on the torrents...

Xopher, #248: I have the same mixed reaction to Andy Capp. Yes, in many ways it's a depiction of an unhealthy relationship; no, I don't see it as celebrating spouse abuse because it's bloody damn clear that Flo not only holds her own, but wins about half the time (probably because she does hard manual labor and is in much better physical condition than he is). I end up thinking of it in much the same way that I think of my parents' marriage: it's not a way that I would ever want to live, but it does seem to make them happy.

Carrie, #264: Count me for three. I know a lot of other people who feel that way as well -- mostly people who were walking targets in junior high and/or high school. In my case, it's partly that and partly that I don't like assholes and therefore also don't like watching (or reading about) them as main characters with whom I'm supposed to sympathize. I can deal with an asshole main character if I'm not being asked to sympathize with him, but writers who can pull that off successfully are very rare.

Open Thread glee: One of my partner's T-shirt designs is mentioned in Pharyngula!

I note that in court, 9 times out of 10 the best dressed lawyer wins. Starting today I will be wearing a 4-piece suit.

The 4th piece is a hat.

This amused him immensely.

The same comedian, the same joke or sketch, can appeal to all three mechanisms, separately or together, in different proportions...and in fact usually do. And people are wired to respond to them in different ways.

I wonder if brain imaging studies have been done on the topic? If I'm right about this, there ought to be detectable differences in brain activity between someone laughing at "The Three Stooges" and someone laughing at "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" or Steven Wright.

Your phone number with the last four digits 3848 was most recently registered in the National Do Not Call Registry on January 23, 2006. Most telemarketers will be required to stop calling you 31 days from your registration date.

Visit https://www.donotcall.gov to do any of these things:
-- to renew your registration
-- to file a complaint

Print this email and keep it for your records.

Please do not reply to this message as it is from an unattended mailbox. Any replies to this email will not be responded to or forwarded. This service is used for outgoing emails only and cannot respond to inquiries.

The other one is identical, except it says Your phone number with the last four digits 7099.

Neither match my phone number, and I did not register with the National Do Not Call Registry. The sender is Verify@DonotCall.gov. It came to me on my gmail account.

If it is an evil plot, I can't see what purpose is served registering me on phone numbers I don't have. It is also not encouraging that it claims I registered more than two years ago, and they're only just now getting around to the confirmation.

It does work for international viewers.

Is embarrassment comedy usually humor where you're supposed to sympathize with assholes? The only embarrassment humor I can think of right now is Fraser, where his assholishness is certainly arguable, though I never felt like he was one to an unsympathetic degree. (That show was frustrating - I could sometimes watch it, and loved it when I did, but most of the time I found it agonizing.) I can't call any other embarrassment comedies to mind at the moment.

Or did I misunderstand your point?

#298, Carol Witt -

Squee!

Em. Ahem. I mean, "Hey, great that it is continuing to be a commercial success." Yeah. That.

I don't like it. And I kind of don't trust people who do, but I am a delicate flower about that sort of thing. ("Funny Video" shows? Ugh. DO NOT WANT.)

Rob@297: You are being spammed and/or (probably) phished. Your concern is exactly the response they wish to engender, followed by some other action. Is there no other e-mail or URL in the spam? Does the URL you have here actually point via HTML to a different website in the e-mail you received (you can tell by hovering your cursor over the link, don't click on it, though...)?

The date is the most obvious indicator that this is not a legitimate e-mail from donotcall, though...why would they be mailing you about a number registered over two years ago?

I'll bet that the DNC registry has a page for reporting phishing (the IRS does); you want the hidden URL and the header information when you forward the spam.

At the risk of offense to some, in so many ways he sounds like pretty much all the Mormons I've ever known on homosexuality.

They are swell people, and I love several of them dearly, and they are completely daft on the subject (some to the point I have a hard time reconciling my continued affection to their stated beliefs).

I particularly like the part where he says we need to have society make sure wives are seen as property, to the man can feel comfy in the kids being his, and goes on to say the insitution is in deadly peril from, "A vast number of unmarried men and women [who] have such contempt for marriage that they share bed and home without asking for any formal recognition by society.

In an era when birth control and abortion make childbearing completely optional, the number of out-of-wedlock births shows the contempt that many women have for marriage.

Yet most of these single mothers still demand that the man they chose not to marry before having sex with him provide financial support for them and their children -- while denying the man any of the rights and protections of marriage.

God forbid the man should actually have to support his kid; just because the bitch wouldn't grant him the "rights" of marriage.

But the opening points out, in part, why Orson want's to make "Marriage" his "Peculiar Institution": he doesn't believe in minority rights.

These judges are making new law without any democratic process; in fact, their decisions are striking down laws enacted by majority vote.

Well, fuck 'im. He is probably still pissed at laws allowing people to kill Mormons, well if he really believes a bigger group of people making a law give it weight, and makes it something the courts can't address, he's got no right to pissed.

Shooting Mormons was legal, and therefore unassailable. Suck it up and accept your proper place in the world.

I have committed acts of computer programming myself, from time to time. Just think of it as an art interpretation exercise, now that you know that the Black Hat Man is backing away and shuddering. Motivations. Why would he do that? Does he think that his hat might end up in the stranger's hat collection, making the newcomer Three Black Hat Man and leaving him desolate as No Black Hat Man?

Or, you can take the technical support path to enlightenment and either read the xkcd forum thread on that topic, or, in existential desperation, attempt to contact Randall Munroe and ask "Why? why??"

That way lies madness.

Marriage is older than government. Its meaning is universal: It is the permanent or semipermanent bond between a man and a woman, establishing responsibilities between the couple and any children that ensue....Wives need to have the whole society agree that when they marry, their husband is off limits to all other females. All of his protection and earning power will be devoted to her and her children, and will not be divided with other women and their children...Marriage, to be worth preserving, needs to mean not just something, but everything. Faithful sexual monogamy, persistence until death, male protection and providence for wife and children, female loyalty to children and husband, and parental discretion in child-rearing.

Sorry, is that a defence of monogamous marriage as an eternal, universal and unchangeable state, written by a Mormon? Oh, boy.

I'm not gonna go read the thing, but what strikes me from this quote is that he says it is "permanent or semipermanent," but it should persist until death.

Zombies and vampires don't have to be faithful to their spouses, I suppose?

Yep, that's how I read it, too. Incidentally, this piece has also been noticed by the gay press:

AfterElton.com

Vampires have no stake in making things last.

Once a vampire stays out past dawn, the marriage is over anyway.

I think the first time I ever had occasion to call 911 was when my grandfather died. I was pretty sure he was already dead, & the paramedics confirmed it at a glance when they showed up.

The times I've ridden in an ambulance, I think they only needed the siren once or twice; on most of those occasions the traffic was light.

After all, he's not a homophobe, he just thinks it's a moral imperative to oppress them (and anyone who doesn't think as he thinks on male/female relations).

He's not scared of them... he just hates them; not the same at all.

"Have you ever tried... not being a mutant?"

Uncle Ted (Senator Stevens, R AK) has been indicted.

1)We thought it would be after the election

2)We thought Don Young would be first, as all things considered, he's a bigger slimeball.

I've said it before, I'm not the biggest Uncle Ted fan, but in a state that votes R consistently, he's a pro-choice, pro-public broadcasting guy. Great Invisible Pink Unicorn please let this help Begich get elected.

I've scratched my several heads over this many a time and I still cannot find any relationship between same sex relationships, with or without children, and the fall of the Holy Roman Empire, er, whichever empire of your choice.

Love, C.

More to the point, Card says homosexuality is genetic (though he seems to see it as a defect) and that's immaterial... because it offends his sense of order.

But he thinks the Sith are the good guys, so...

Gilbert and Sullivan, or Shakespeare's comedies, might be more like what was being referred to as embarrassment comedy. I can deal with those.

I think I might be able to watch some of a more Candid Camera type of program. I seem to recall an episode of that show where a vending machine started to talk to someone. This was of course before technology made such things normal. I can't remember if there claimed to be a person trapped in the machine or something else, but I tended to feel that the humor was less in embarrassing the person than in the fact that people (humanity) are just funny. I only remember the one skit, so I don't know whether I could take that show as a whole or not. I kind of doubt it, and I certainly wouldn't expect to like any kind of remake.

The difference for me is in whether the setup is innately intended to encourage someone to make a fool of themselves. Somehow I can see coming out of a surprise encounter with a talking vending machine with dignity, where I can't see a dignified response to being set up to be scared silly.

http://www.redfin.com/WA/Shoreline/17247-11th-Ave-NE-98155/home/87419

Check out the seventh photo. Woof!

House for sale

Take care and watch out for aftershocks.

He's big, but he's a sweetie! Wouldn't hurt a fly, really. He's especially fond of the dog-phobic.

Beats the crap out of having to dig the car out of snow banks every year.

It's one of the things the LDS like to point out to show how persecuted they are.

The details are a trifle less clear than it looks on it's face; but that's not quite relevant to the issues here.

1838: The Mormons are settled in Missouri, this leads to various hostilities (and at least one schism in the Church).

The hostilities end up in armed conflict (The Mormon War in Missouri). One of the things which happens is an Edict of Extermination, which made it legal to kill, or drive out, Mormons.

It's probable it was never meant to be a blanket condemnation, but the order stayed on the books in Missouri until 1976.

So, by assent (even if passive) of the majority, being Mormon in Missouri was; even if honored in the breach, a potenitally capital offense.

My former boss lives in Chino Hills.

I think so, but my kids actually watched the TV series.

Nothing here "walked". It seems to have been what I think of a "rolling" instead of "bouncing" quake.

Cell service dropped for about 20 minutes, and the CalTech server was hard to get into... I presume because of so many people trying to get on to see what happened.

For example, Jesus takes a harder line on divorce in the Gospels than the Jewish law did, going so far as to describe marrying another after a divorce (with some possible limited exceptions) as committing adultery. But if that's adultery, the reasoning goes, so would marrying someone else *without* getting divorced first.

The Epistles also have a few passages indicating the wrongness of particular cases of polygamy. Romans 7:3 says that a woman marrying another man while her husband lives commits adultery, and passages in Timothy and Titus cite being a "husband of one wife" as one of the ways a church leader should be "above reproach".

Several parts of the New Testament also link marriage theologically to the union of Christ and the Church, which many interpret to mean that the union between husband and wife, like that between Christ and church, should be exclusive.

*Who can range from reddish-gold to bright blond in color. Our previous dog was a yellow lab x golden retriever mix, and he was of the reddish-gold variety (until he grew old, and became a greyish-yellow-reddish).

I was reading a Dodgers blog's comments when the earthquake happened. Blasé doesn't cover it.

"Hey. An earthquake."

Whew.

Sola's former SO is celiac, so lots of these things are stuff we've dealt with (he's really sensitive, so what chickens eat matters to him. I have my doubts that gluten from cattle feed gets into milk, but given the nature of avian systems, it can contaminate eggs).

The mormons have practiced eternal polygamy since they existed. The process is this: a mormon couple is found worthy enough for a temple marriage, which involves "being sealed" to your spouse. This ceremony supposedly enables the couple to remain married through Time and All Eternity(tm). It is also the only way a woman can be connected to the Priesthood, a pre-requisite to entrance into the Celestial Kingdom. Often when a wife dies, or is divorced, her husband can be married and then sealed to another woman. The same is not true of women; if your husband dies and you are still sealed to him, you may not be sealed to another man. I was taught (my tenure as a mormon lasted from birth to about 1992)that there would of course be polygamy in heaven. To make it more palatable to the young women in my day, they used the logic that women are far more righteous than men, so God created plural (spiritual) marriage. (that God was somehow unable to just let women hold the priesthood was probably only considered by future apostates like myself.) Also, that while we may find it kind of weird right now, when we got to heaven, all would be revealed, and we'd be cool with it.

I understand that they're not terribly keen on teaching these tenets anymore, but like every other offensively wacky doctrine (white and delightsome!) they just stop talking about it, first to outsiders, then to members, until people forget.

He has to worry about the chicken feed? That's gotta be *hard*.

A lot of stuff wasn't on my radar until recently because I wasn't sensitive to it until January of this year. (Envelope glue and cross-contact in fried foods, for example.) Now I'm slowly finding new things that bother me and knocking them out one at a time. I'd prefer to be getting less sensitive, not more, but I'm still very fortunate.

#339, Xopher -
Oh, so "til death" is the semipermanent version. Wow.

That pun would be difficult to grasp even in German: The language has very complicated declension rules and "Ein" will not readily be understood as "one": Even if "one house" is "ein Haus", the numeral alone is "Eins" (especially when contrasted with zero; ones and zeroes is "Einsen und Nullen")

But OTOH, "Ein" is common for the "on" position of any electrical switch. The direct contrast, off, would be Aus. Which, incidentally, is something dogs are often used to hearing, since a sharp "Aus!" is a common way of telling a dog to stop its current activity.

Sorry for the Besserwisserei. A term, BTW, that would deserve a reputation as "a concept only the Germans have a term for" even more than Schadenfreude.

As I said, I don't think gluten can get into milk, but he does. Chickens are easy. You can keep a couple, and feed them greens and non-gluten feeds (corn, rape, millet, sunflower seeds, etc.). A good feedstore will have bulk seed, or make a mix to order.

For milk... well his family kept goats, but mostly he doesn't use it, because he can't be sure it's been fed nothing but grass.

Memo to self: not everything written by Teresa Nielsen Hayden can be found by typing a few words that appear in the piece and "site:nielsenhayden.com" into the Google search box...

Such a restriction misses, among other things, Subterranean #4: Special SF Cliche Issue Edited by John Scalzi.

Here is what I was looking for:

"In short stories, the cliché is the story itself: Adam
and Eve crash their spaceship on a planet that turns out
to be Earth. A deal with the Devil goes wrong. Humans
use wacky behavior to thwart a hugely powerful alien
invasion. A trinket purchased at an odd little curio shop
has unexpected powers. The ultimate supercomputer
decides it’s God. A guy gets his heart broken when it
turns out that the beautiful vampire/alien/robot/
virtual/clone/elf woman was only pretending to love
him. And so forth and so on: a score of stories that get
retold far oftener than anyone wants to hear them....

"This is not to say that there’s nothing to choose
between a well-made plot and a botch.... Plots are
important... what gives the
reader an incentive to read all of the pages in order. But
while an original plot is a wonderful thing, in a lot of
cases it’s not strictly necessary.

"Storytelling is an assertion of causality: This is how
the world works. You have to strip a narrative down
almost to the bare bones for its greatest pleasure to con-
sist of seeing how the story comes out. That’s the terri-
tory of jokes, fairy tales, and short stories.

"In longer works, the greater pleasure is seeing how
the book makes its way from here to there, from its
interesting beginning to its satisfactory if perhaps unsur-
prising end. You already know the detective is going to
figure out which guest at the cocktail party murdered
Edna Furbelow in the linen closet of her sumptuous Park
Avenue apartment. The bickering couple forced to keep
company with each other while having some mild
adventures will infallibly fall in love no later than the
second-to-last chapter. And the earnest young person
born under mysterious signs and portents will inherit the
Charm Bracelet of Doom, defeat the Dark One, and
bring peace and plenty to The Land—five or six books
from now.

"Clichés are only clichés if they bother us. When
we’re expecting something new and interesting in the
way of a narrative mechanism, but instead get the same
old same old, it feels like a cliché. If a novel employs a
narrative maneuver that’s just as well-used, but we aren’t
expecting novelty—hey looka, it’s yet another Regency
Romance that has a scene set at Almack’s—then it’s
not a problem. A book that starts from a bog-standard
plot but uses it with inventiveness and grace will read
fairly well—which means the bog-standard plot doesn’t
bother us, and therefore isn’t really a cliché.

"What does bother us are worn-out devices for setting
things up or moving the story along. Mark Twain nailed
James Fenimore Cooper for his habitual use of them....

"One twig is a fine device. A twig or two per book is
excusable if there’s enough other stuff happening; even
a battered old prop can look okay if it goes past you fast
enough. Too many twigs become irritating, and are there-
fore a cliché..."

Conan the Barbarian will be back in Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Ernest".

However, there is an Old Testament tradition that deserves a resurgence: handmaidens. I think I've almost sold my wife on the idea, too. The last time we talked about it she said: "So, those Friday nights when you stumble in at 4am from gaming, I could make my handmaiden put up with the aftermath of you drinking beer and eating junk food for the last 12 hours?"

"So, did the earth move for you?"

(I think this is by Joe Haldeman, though the only person I've ever heard singing it is Juanita Coulson. I have no idea of the title, and some of the lyrics are folk-process because my mind had blank spots.)

Folks have been asking where they might find their jetpacks? Maybe right here.

You can imagine how I resisted Heinlein's character's epiphany of "Oh, I get it! Humor is other people's pain!"

I also got tagged as "having no sense of humor" growing up, because I didn't laugh at things like... oh, the story of my aunt as a little girl running to open the farmyard gate for the car to pass through, and panicking at being unable to get down because it swung out over a deep mud puddle, and all the adults present laughing too hard to help her at first. The mental picture of that last bit made me cry my eyes out. I was 11 and in the hospital when my grandmother told me this story. She thought to distract me from my sorry surroundings, and I think my reaction struck her as ungrateful. At the very least it tried her patience. "I could understand you crying because you're in the hospital," she told me, "but, look, no one got hurt, and the story is funny! You're supposed to laugh, not cry!"

Recently, a friend introduced me to Scrubs, which, depending on how much the episode relies on embarrassment and humiliation humor, I either enjoy or watch with deep discomfort. Right now, the episodes airing on Comedy Central are getting uncomfortable for me. It doesn't help that this friend shortly afterward introduced me to DVDs of House, which I like very much, but is an entirely different mood of hospital drama. Watching House makes me subsequently less inclined to laugh at doctors acting like Seinfeld characters while on the job.

Null says hi, and glad y'all enjoyed the story. Actually, what he says is, "Huh?" because he has relentlessly lived down to his name, or else because my husband was exceedingly astute in naming him. Among the incidents that show off his stunning capacity for intellect are the night he fell off the TV in his sleep, the various times when he forgets to put his tongue back, the evening he begged for and ate chili cashews until he barfed, and the day he chased his tail and caught it and ran screaming from the room because SOMETHING BIT HIM!

Hmm. That would be me enjoying his discomfort. I'm not sure how to reconcile that with the above examination of my inability to appreciate embarrassment humor. I guess it's different when the embarrassee is a cat? Maybe because I'm not sure he actually feels embarrassment? (Oh, I know that most cats can, but trust me, Null is not the sort to sit there all dignified and go "I meant to do that." We think he's missing his sense of dignity altogether. We think he may actually be a puppy with retractable claws.)

And, in line with my Don't Trust Those Aircrew Blighters Further Than You Can Throw Them thesis, I note that he was awarded the DFC for flying transport aircraft over the Hump in the Second World War. Another one for the list...

The odd thing is that there are exceptions. Peanuts, for example, is funny, even though the strip is one long series of disappointments for Charlie Brown, and (although I don't remember where to find the quote) Charles Schulz once said he believed humor stems from pain. The difference may be empathy; Peanuts doesn't encourage readers to just laugh at Charlie Brown, but to look at the world through a Charlie Brownish lens.

On a different note, it may be that one of the reasons I find Homer Simpson to be one of the funniest characters ever is that, like Nicole LeBoeuf-Little's cat, he's too serenely, obliviously dense to feel anything but shallow and transitory embarrassment.

(She's also the one we thought was a great mouser, until we realized that it was the little one that actually caught the mice - she'd just jump her and swipe the mouse at the last moment, bearing it to my husband with dearest affection.)

Humiliation comedy: I wouldn't watch the first season of The Office, because all the clips made it look like exactly the sort of show I hate. (I really didn't want to cringe at Michael Scott for half an hour a week.) Turns out I was wrong on that one, but it is a fine line.

I'm trying to sort out the laughing at silly cats thing. I think it also has to do with what humiliation's all about - it's a social thing. If you pick your nose and nobody sees, it's not embarassing. If you pick your nose in your car, and I'm sitting next to you at the stoplight, I'll feel embarassed for you (and want to honk and hold up my "YOUR CAR DOES NOT MAKE YOU INVISIBLE" sign, but that's just me.) We don't get embarassed for entities that don't feel embarassed. And I think that has something to do with adults laughing at kids - we don't think they "should" feel a certain way (like in danger when swung out over a big puddle), so we don't see the harm in laughing at the situation. Of course, kids feel what they feel, and it's not the same when you're the one who's stuck.

I try really hard not to do that, and not to let other people do it to my kid (you'd be amazed at how far some adults will go in teasing a child, or at least I was), but now I wonder if I'm doing her a disservice; I always protected her from scary movies, and now that she's old enough to watch them, she's hypersensitive to the eensiest slightly-spooky thing*. Am I working on making her a social neurotic now? On the other hand, the kid has no social fears, so even if I am screwing up, it's probably not in a way that's actually going to make a difference. (She got on stage the other day! And sang a song! In front of a whole restaurant full of people! I practically hyperventillated with stage terror for her, but that's ok because I was just in the audience so she couldn't see.)

*For any other parents who've done the same thing - The Muppet Movie has no scary parts.** Work up from there.

**You may have to explain what a "movie theater" is, though.

I've been told by my sisters-in-law and by others that I'm good with kids. That may be because, while I'm not a kid anymore(1), I remember quite well what it's like to be one. Last year, when I went to the Bay Area, I met my 6-year-old nephew. He was happy to see me(2), but, when I told him that our youngest dog liked to eat shoes, it became obvious that he thought I was making fun of him because dogs can't eat shoes - can they? He was taking me literally. I knelt before him and explained that I had meant that my dog liked to chew on shoes, and I told him that I'd never ever make fun of him.

(1) Really, I'm not.
(2) How many adults would have been willing to pick him up and carry him around so that he could pretend he was Superman flying?

Oh, me, too!

Cat Meadors (364): Social embarrassment. Yes, exactly. It makes my skin crawl to watch, whether it's supposed to be humor or not.

My contrast point for this is MASH's use of Frank Burns vs Charles Winchester. Humiliating Frank was an every-episode affair, and most of his characterization went into making him unlikeable enough that the audience would enjoy seeing him mistreated. Winchester was sometimes bested by Hawkeye and BJ, but never stopped *knowing* he was superior, and so the back and forth with them had a completely different tone. More like banter between equals with a bit of bite to it, less like the popular kids in high school picking on the unpopular kids while being too important to the football team to be called on it.

"It's okay, who would want to make a total stranger look like a fool?"
- Clark Kent to Lois Lane in 1978's Superman

(And the "Hi, Zuko here..." speech in Avatar makes me cringe, though it is both funny and appropriate.)

I wonder if social isolation/awkwardness has anything to do with this trait? The only context in which I feel like "one of us" is my own family, and only to a limited extent there.

Tangent: I think "Cringeworthy" would be a great name for a fictional butler.

Now I know that a whole lot of people I like and respect feel the same way. I no longer will entertain the notion that it might really be something wrong with ME!

And that bit of Stranger in a Strange Land is what got me started thinking about humor being based on others' pain. I distinguish between Wit (which tends toward wordplay and incongruity) and Yuks (which is composed of making fun of stupid or foolish people, or of smearing unpleasant substances on them etc.).

Like the Wit. Hate the Yuks.

We have spent two weeks since our move trying to get phone service at our new house. Each time I call the next person on the list to be cajoled, begged, bribed, or threatened (if only this would work) into doing their job, I spend about an hour navigating voice mail, sitting on hold, getting randomly disconnected, talking to the wrong person who offers to send me to the right person, listening to repetitive elevator music while waiting for someone to answer the phone, etc., before being screwed around with for a couple hours, promised a solution real-soon-now, and finally being informed that somehow, they just can't help.

We finally gave up on our old phone company (who couldn't transfer service to the new house, because it had FIOS but not copper to it) and the Verizon clownshow (who promised us service last Friday, but then did nothing, and after much tech support wait time, informed my wife that they had no record of our existence). We're trying to set up service through Comcast[1], which did eventually show up and get our cable and internet working a few days after we moved in. I am told, now, that it will likely be at least another two weeks or so before we're able to get phone service at our new house, due to the difficulties of transferring our phone number. (I can call the company that has our old number, I can call the company that we're trying to get to provide service, but somehow, them talking to one another is simply too difficult.)

Now, I understand that in, say, Afghanistan, it is expected to take a month to get local phone service. Seeing as it's a war zone and dirt poor besides, this isn't a huge shock. But why in God's name does it take a month to get phone service in the middle of endless, heavily-wired suburban sprawl? If we didn't have cellphones, we'd be completely screwed right now. We have (cable-based) high speed internet, for God's sake. Just not phone service. That would be Too Hard.

I am tempted by the idea that I should just get a 4-phone cellphone plan, put two of the phones strategically inside the house, and be done with it. But this is, of course, a bluff. Because God knows I wouldn't dare monkey with the one part of our communications with the outside world that currently *works*.

Perhaps in six months, the Albanian Telephone Directorate will send word by messenger that soon, a wire will be stretched to our house, and a few months later, a mostly-sober technician will be by to hook up the phone. But I won't bet on it.

[1] Just as an aside, when your customer service is so lousy that the local cable monopoly looks good by comparison, this might be a hint that you aren't doing a great job. Is there something about providing telephone service that imposes a mix of rude incompetence and love of impassible voice-mail menus on the providers?

Yeah, I can't stand Seinfeld, and can just barely stomach Friends. I don't think worse of people who like them, but they're Not My Cup of Tea.

Life's too short to spend it on art of any kind that you don't like, whether unfunny comedies, Important Books that you find boring and pretentious, art that's too abstract to understand, music that doesn't sound good to your ear, etc. Ten lifetimes wouldn't be enough to listen to all the good music, read all the good books and stories, study all the interesting stuff, spend serious time paying attention to all the good art, etc.

Friends is just patently ridiculous. Those apartments don't exist in NYC, for one thing, or if they do people who work in coffee shops can't afford them. They don't dress, talk, or act like New Yorkers. All of them need therapy but none of them get it (not that I've ever heard).

And all of the characters are embarrassed, all the time, for absolutely no reason.

Mind you, IANAFF, and have only seen a couple of eps by force. Me no likey.

"We don't care. We don't have to. (snort) We're the Phone Company!" -- Lily Tomlin

Serge@366, I find it depressing that your second footnote isn't inverted in meaning. Why *wouldn't* they, aside from physical inability?

As far as Friends and Seinfeld go, I find the former completely unrewarding to the point of incomprehension of its appeal, and the latter mostly boring. Seinfeld has its merits, they're just too few and far between to make watching it worth the effort.

I've had pretty much flawless service from them, but I'm beginning to think I got lucky.

(I believe it was here that I learned about it, a couple of years ago. Really helpful when you're trying to get past the unhelpful phone menus.)

albatross @ 377: Life's too short to spend it on art of any kind that you don't like

I prefer Theodore Sturgeon's maxim: "I'll try anything twice, to see if I can acquire the taste." I don't take "anything" literally (I doubt he did either), but I can definitely state that my life would be poorer if I filled it with only those things that I liked the first time.

I share your pain. It's a global phenomenon, sadly.

When we moved to the Netherlands, we found that all of the cable and telephone companies had toll-free phone numbers that could not be reached from outside the country. We only got to speak to anyone because one of the ISP's (with a non toll-free number) was owned by KPN, the major phone company, and the guy at the ISP did an internal call transfer.

Moving to the new house meant that we could at least make the phone calls. Sadly, that just exposed the next layer of incompetence, which has included shipping the set top box to the new house a month before our move-in date, giving us the wrong cable package, and switching off the wrong cable package for several days till they could connect us to the right one.

Useless.

albatross, #374: Do any of your local media outlets have an ombudsman program? (The one in Nashville was run by Channel 2 and called "2 On Your Side".) This is exactly the sort of thing they love to get their teeth into, because it makes them look good at the expense of a competitor.

And @ #377: I'm condensing that last paragraph down into a button format!

But really, I just asked my husband to stop watching it. He asked me to give up scratch-offs. It was a fair trade.

Albatross @374 - I gave up Verizon in favor of Comcast too, and boy, that's saying something. (I don't even have cable!) But it is very much like the difference between getting hit in the head with a hammer once and getting hit in the head with a hammer twice. Good luck.

*where "bad" = "I don't enjoy it"
**applies to all artforms

I submit that it's a symptom of something badly broken in our society as a whole, and that it's part of the suite of attitudes that make bullying a socially-acceptable behavior.

Heated agreement. Not that it's anything new; one (maybe the most important) reason why I react so badly to humiliation and embarrassment humor is that I was badly bullied as a young child, and that was a while ago. Still, I think it's worse now in schools.

Shorter (buttonworthy) albatross: "So much good art, so little time."

How old is your daughter? We're raising our son with much the same parenting style, and at 6 he's suddenly starting to branch out into trying more movies and being less timorous.

There was a long period a couple years back where he wouldn't even watch Thomas the Tank Engine videos he hadn't seen before, because of a part in one where the train went around a curve too fast and the passengers were thrown off into bushes and trees. That was terrifying at the time, and for a long while he refused to watch anything he hadn't already seen. Now he's become a bit more adventurous in his choices.

But "bad" != "I don't enjoy it." If I saw your slogan on a button, I'd assume the wearer was exhorting me to drop the pulp and pick up the classics--probably not what you intend.

I've been trying to figure out what bugs me about albatross' credo. Here's the best explanation I've come up with:

I tried to read Ulysses twice, and failed both times. Now it could be that Ulysses is a load of dingo's kidneys, that the people who claim to love it and celebrate it every Bloomsday are just pretending, that Joyce's having written some of the best short stories in the English language is just coincidence, etc. Or it could be that I just haven't learned how to read Ulysses yet. The latter strikes me as far more likely.

Under the "life's too short" program, I would just shrug and move on. But I think it might be worth the effort to learn how to read Ulysses. It might not, and it might not even be possible for me--but how will I ever know if I don't try?

Obviously, it's a question of triage--there are a vast number of books I haven't learned how to like, so I need to make some sort of guess as to which ones would repay the effort, which may very well be wrong and lead to wasted time. But the alternative would be to stick to stuff that I already know how to read, which, for whatever reason, wouldn't satisfy me.

Have you considered going cell-only, or do you use the phone company for your net access?

One problem I have with some forms of comedy that I sometimes feel sorry for the more embarrassing characters. As a child, I often got sad watching Fawlty Towers. Of course, as an adult I see that a lot of Basil's troubles are of his own making (maybe it was a childish sympathy with being unable to command indifferent surroundings, I don't know). It is the same thing with Mr Bean and the boss in (the British original, I haven't seen the American show) The Office, I know that they somtimes have it coming, but I still feel a bit sorry for them.

But maybe I'm in a small minority here. And this does not mean that I can't see how spot on for example the Office often is.

It may be, for you, it sucks. There is no way for you to learn how to read it; because the things which make it great don't work for you.

Or, to reach back to the classics, Gustibus non est disputandum, as the French would say, Chacun a son goût.

In plain English, One man's meat is another man's poison.

Mary Aileen @ 395: For button purposes, I like Bruce Cohen's rephrasing at 390.

I don't see it as being any different from yours.

One could say "don't read it if you don't enjoy it."

Al Gore Places Infant Son in Rocket to Escape Dying Planet

The most useful phrase I've heard recently is, "It does not speak to my condition." Which acknowledges the facts that (primo) your condition is not the same as mine, and (secundo) mine will change.

One show that I enjoyed during its initial run but that I can hardly stand now is "Everybody Loves Raymond." Not because it is bad, but because it can get painfully real. There's one episode where a half-ass contractor friend of Raymond's totally botches up buying a replacement kitchen range. It closely echoed something that happened to my parents, involving a kitchen floor and a guy who hung out at the local bar.

I don't know - some good beer, some good cheese, a few friends, a discussion on tastes and colours - sounds like a pretty good evening. You may disagree of course :)

I really and honestly think they are brilliant and wonderful works, by just about any criteria I come up with.

I also don't much care to read them, silently, to myself, by myself.

These are the kinds of works that blossom in reading aloud, serially, among friends. I've participated in repeated readings of Ulysses and quite a few other Great Works this way, including Renaissance plays, Beowulf, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and so on.

Reading with a friend or several, taking your time, laughing, discussing. about what you're reading, especially works like this which are so very oral and aural in their delights, is pleasure not like any other.

These works are composed as 'social' works in the first place -- meant for rooms of people, to be recited or performed. Joyce composed Ulysses over many years, bringing in just about everyone who happened to get within his considerable orbit, in one way or another. He certainly read it to people over and over during the process.

And that kind of pleasure too, isn't for every one.

Love, C.

What a lovely idea. I tend to think that, like hosting a gaming night,* it's a lovely idea that I'll never implement, but it is a really lovely idea all the same. Maybe I'll surprise myself one day.

*I'm too passive (or something) to host get-togethers where we do anything other than sit and eat and talk. And I rarely host those.

The most useful phrase I've heard recently is, "It does not speak to my condition."

when i'm forced to explain why, for example, i am not into a new band that my husband's into, i say "it says nothing to me about my life," as in the smiths song.* i like it because it is both self-mocking & kind of deeply true. but it probably wouldn't be appropriate to say to people who don't know me well enough.

*i actually don't know whether the song is smiths or morrissey. cause they say only a bit to me about my life.

BUT... to me, the potential benefit I might get from that understanding is simply not worth the unpleasantness involved in reaching it. Same/same with art (literary or otherwise); some of it is worth spending the effort to learn to appreciate, and some isn't. And the issue of which art is worth the effort and which not is entirely subjective. I won't tell you that you shouldn't bother to continue trying to read Ulysses, but you don't get to tell me that I'm doing something wrong by putting it aside and moving on either.

I finished the necklace for the first donor from the Live Long and Marry fannish movement on LJ. I wish I'd thought to make that for myself!

The teenage foster kid just referred to us, albeit obliquely, as parents. (She described to her new ringtone of Beethoven's Fifth, for when we call, as "the parent tone".)

Whoah. Would never have thought that would happen.

The Eye of Argon, by Jim Theis

(for varying values of "blossom")

Re Seinfeld and Friends: I have watched lots of both these shows, and found I preferred Seinfeld, even though that show is about these awful people. It came as quite a shock to me when I first realised that not only were they unlikable, but that they were *meant* to be unlikable. (Unlike Friends, where clearly the viewer was supposed to love all of them.) That struck me as shocking at the time.

Or maybe I just need to get out more. :)

Re: Seinfeld, I love it, almost unreasonably. And I can't explain why, but one feature of a lot of stories I truly love is a complete lack of any character I can identify with or even like. That's one of the reasons I love film noir so much (that, and because it's so darned pretty).

miriam #410: It's The Smiths. "Panic". The Smiths say an awful lot to me about my life, mostly because they're mopey AND hilarious.

Taste is entirely subjective, certainly. But if someone reads, say, Byzantium Endures and doesn't get that Pyat is an unreliable narrator, then they're reading it wrong, which means that working on that would have some non-subjective benefit.

That doesn't make what you're saying wrong, because how much our hypothetical reader should care that they're reading it wrong is again subjective. I could be a better table-tennis player if I did some drills, but since I just play in the office for fun, I don't bother. There's nothing wrong with that, and nothing wrong with reading just for fun in a similar way (or saving one's rigorous effort for an entirely different reading project). It's all good.

I won't tell you that you shouldn't bother to continue trying to read Ulysses, but you don't get to tell me that I'm doing something wrong by putting it aside and moving on either.

I don't think I said anything like that. If so, I certainly didn't mean to.

I've done group Snark readings, but nothing more substantial.

Down in North Somerset way
They all know what makes a man gay.
For cider on beer
Do make ’un quite queer.
John Barrowman, what do you say?

Or,

In West Country folklore it’s clear
That cider on beer makes you queer.
But my taste for male pork, sir,
Was formed in South Yorkshire.
John Barrowman? Really, my dear!

Seafood and beer were the big ones for me--I disliked both (to the point of disgust in the former case) until well into adulthood, but in both cases ended up in situations where (a) I wanted to like it enough to keep trying it, (b) found an example mild enough to sneak by my aversion, and (c) was able to move on to the less mild forms from that starting point.

Again, I'm not saying this is what people should do. Just mentioning what worked for me.

Really? Why are they wrong? Why isn't it possible to read Pyat as a truth telling narrator from (say) another world?

Congratulations. That says most excellent things about you.

I'm not familiar with the work in question, but wouldn't a truth-telling narrator who doesn't understand what is going on be unreliable?

Earl 415: I'd say more "bloom" as in 'offshore algae bloom kills thousands of fish'.

ethan 418: Wow. Opposite kinds of tastes here. Love Blade Runner, which strikes me as an SF film noir...have you ever seen it as originally released, with the voiceover narration? I liked that better, actually (though I know the hardcore BR fans will come for me with pitchforks and torches for saying so).

Tangent: I wish I'd first seen Dark City a. without the opening narration and b. expecting a film noir. It would have been a much better movie that way.

Tykewriter 421: Probably belongs in the Amphibrach thread, but me likey! (I can has John Barrowman? I can has just taste?)

David 423: I'd call that a subtype of wit. Sometimes it's used for group identity confirmation, and sometimes to find members of your same group. If I say "I have come to wound the autumnal city" and someone on the plane next Tuesday says "Aha!" I know I've found another fan. If I sing "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet" to the tune of "Dona Nobis Pacem" and someone joins right in before I even get to 'dolor', I know that they're familiar with both the round AND publishing (or computer interface design).

But perhaps I'm classifying it as wit because it's one of my favorite kinds of humor. I don't think so, though: it depends on the listeners' knowledge as well as the speaker's, is frequently based on wordplay, and usually flies right past those who don't get it, rather than just making them think "what a jerk"—all of which are characteristics of wit. Sexual innuendo is another kind of wit; crude sexual jokes go under yuks.

OTOH, if your buddy Jake is called "Pantless" because of the time back in college that he lost his pants and had to walk home from the gravel pit with his jacket pulled WAY DOWN, that's yuks, even though it's in-group humor. I guess I think in-group humor cuts across my categories but can be classified into them; the "togetherness" label sounds good, but ISTM that it covers different things that are wit or yuks, rather than being different from either.

Not this hardcore Blade Runner fan...

And @ #422: That's more or less how I developed a taste for salsa and other spicy foods. The salsa that I was first able to eat successfully... well, now I could probably drink it by the glassful!

This piece at BB Law Prof and Lawyer Agree (which says something I've been saying for more than 20 years [and when did that become something which related to things I did as an adult?]) was sent to me by my father.

For some reason, I'd never have expected him to know from BB; thought it falls in the sort of thing he'd like.

I don't know what came over me, but the room was in stitches, which was the idea. We did pieces of plays, and snippets of who can recall what.

There was a chunk of time (they were living in Los Angeles) that Emma Bull and Will Shetterly had a regular one of these.

They are great fun.

Specifically, because he says he's from our world. So he can't be both of those things.

Generally, and more importantly: because it would make the book completely pointless and silly. For any book there's an infinite number of undisprovable readings, but just as with theories of the world, undisprovability is not enough. What's wanted is insight and understanding, and if one's reading keeps making one pile rationalizations on top rather than resolving things that were previously unclear, it's not a very good reading (unless, of course, the book is hopelessly muddled).

I guess I should add a caveat that one's goal needn't be understanding the work. If it's more fun for a reader to make up weird theories, they should follow their bliss.

from which I read, comically, "The Raven."

makes me feel quite fond of you right now, Terry.

*Caffeine affects my brand of mild depression and relieves it, so I'm most likely to love humanity and particular examples of it when I'm well-caffeinated.

But I know I'm in the vast (vast, vast, vast) minority here, and I'm sure there's something I'm missing. Maybe I should try again. I haven't seen the version with the voiceover, and now I'm thinking I should try that one, because I often do prefer things die-hard fans dislike.

Oh, and when I'm in the mood to overlook its cheesier elements, I love Dark City. I haven't seen the director's cut, but if, like TexAnne says at #433, it removes some of the choppiness and dreamlike quality, then I don't want to see it.

No worries.

I'm in between on Blade Runner--I enjoy it in many ways, but it has some pretty serious flaws. The main problem for me is that the androids are superhuman. Not only does this make it hard to believe you need an empathy test to detect them, but it's wrong thematically--the whole point is or should be the indistinguishability of the natural and the artificial.

I feel like Blade Runner takes Dick's ideas, picks them up, says "ooh, shiny," and puts them down again, without really engaging with them.

I also don't like the way it occasionally uses vintage clothing and sets to say OMGZ WE ARE SO NOIR NOW. And I could definitely live without the gratuitous face-slapping.

Dark City I really like, and it validated one of my movie-finding techniques: "Not only does Mick LaSalle not like it, but he says the plot is incoherent! It must be awesome!" I haven't seen the director's cut, and it sounds like I shouldn't.

I often do prefer things die-hard fans dislike.

oh, yeah? then i am less afraid to tell you, die-hard fan of the smiths that you are, what i hear when i hear "panic". (that looks like a place to hear the song, but i am almost as scared of internet music as i am of internet video, so i didn't check. if not, it should be pretty easy to find with the group & song title.)

Lasalle is the critic who said ofX-men 2:
"This movie celebrates the death of humanity."

I hope for his sake that he never gets a visit from a master of magnetism who likes wearing dorky helmets.

Popcorn can, in my experience, be classed into two basic morphologies. Some are nearly perfect spheroids, while others have little bits trailing down, encasing the shell of the original kernel. I tend to think of the first ones as "brains" and the second ones as "jellyfish". Jellyfish are by far the more common.

So at the cinema tonight (Amsterdam Arena, Indiana Jones and the the Legend of the Crystal Skull), I looked into my bucket of popcorn and saw almost all brains. And I can't figure out why. Possible answers, as discussed with the Hub:

• A difference in materials, such as a slightly different breed of corn, with kernel coatings that are a tiny bit less rigid, and thus don't stick down when the kernel is popped.


• A different popping process: hot air popping rather than oil and a hot pan, perhaps, though this supposes that all the popcorn I have eaten in the UK and the US is done differently than what I had tonight


• Some post-popping effect, such as the agitation of a bag of pre-popped corn causing the brains and jellyfish to separate into vertical layers. The presumption then is that I just happened to get a box from the brain layer

Or am I just hopelessly weird for imposing a taxonomy on popcorn?

Weird, yes. Hopelessly so, not at all!

As for reading aloud in company, back in the days when things were far more relaxed in our part of town we used to do a seasonal celebration reading of Sir Gawain at the Ear Inn that week between Christmas and New Year's. The group read alternately in Middle English and Tolkien's translation. There were musicians. Parts were sung. It was a popular seasonal event. Of course most of the attendees were colleague-friends who lived locally, just as we did, and the bar-restaurant's staff and owners, who were also living there and friends and colleagues. It was fun, it was musical, it was seasonal.

Then everything got more rich and hectic and the artists moved away and even the Ear Inn sold itself to more upscale owners and all that stopped.

Vaquero and I have read Sir Gawain to each other though, some years, at Christmas time. It's a magical experience. If you're in the mood for that. Not every year is like that. The holidays in foreign cities are marvelous, as are those with friends.

Love, C.

People generally prefer eating butterfly popcorn. Retailers of already-popped corn generally prefer to sell mushroom popcorn, because it doesn't break to small pathetic bits by the time the customer is ready to eat. So popcorn kernels for home popping are generally butterfly, but mail-order popcorn assortments are generally mushroom. Apparently movie popcorn is mushroom too.

I understand that the friction on the sides of the container is relevant too, but I never understood how. Something to do with turning things over IIRC.

The popcorn jellyfish may not have a larger actual volume than the brains, but they have bits sticking out that make them effectively larger in terms of falling into a hole. And popcorn in a movie theatre IS agitated, for a related reason: the unpopped kernels, which few customers want, fall to the bottom of the warmer and through the grate into a catch tray. That same agitation lets more brains end up on the bottom.

There's also the fact that any hybrids (part brain, part jellyfish) can have their protrusions broken off in the agitation process, and become brains; but brains cannot become jellyfish. Thus the longer the popcorn has been sitting there, the higher the proportion of brains will be found in an average serving.

But when I worked in a movie theatre back in the 70s, we definitely had a preponderance of butterfly popcorn...fewer kernels per bucket means higher profits, measured against the wastage caused when bits break pathetically...I dunno.

abi #448: I don't know, but you did just make me want popcorn, real bad.

oh, good! yeah, i really love the whole album, except for "jeepers creepers" (& the thing that offends me is that awe-inspiring eyes would be described as "little." it's a love song to a beady-eyed sweetheart?) & "i will survive" which does not, cough, take the cake.

their other album is half covers & half their own stuff, & is, sadly, about half-good (in my opinion). although i never thought i could love "crazy in love" like i do now.

they got me thinking that i really should try to get some andrews sisters albums (it doesn't hurt that i am a jew booster). & i will look out for tha apple sisters now, thanks!

Then I read the beginning.

Sometimes my habit of non-sequential reading gets me in trouble. I only ever notice that I'm doing it when things like this happen.

(I agree with Xopher's assessment.)

Weird, but in the way we like. I think most of the fluorosphere has probably participated in, if not initiated, a similar conversation.

You are not alone, sir. I had a post all set with much the same theory and just happened to check for new posts on preview. (My explanation for why she doesn't see the effect at home is that there is less stirring of popcorn at home. You make it, dispense it all into bowls immediately and then eat.)

I am now officially annoyed that Hugo Awards. The Best Professional Editor (Long Form) category should be set up like the Artist category and require the nominees to have a couple books they edited listed by their names. Because I suspect that the vast majority of voters have no clue who edited most books in a given year.

For example; I'm fairly knowledgable about SF. And I can't figure out what books Beth Meachem edited last year. I *deliberately went looking* online and I can't find out.

I know PNH edited the Scalzi and Hartwell edited ROLLBACK, but that's only because those two novels were nominated for BEST NOVEL so I went to Amazon and looked at the copyright page.

But if a voter wants to make an informed decision how is he or she supposed to do so? So far I know exactly one book edited by two of the people nominated. I had hoped that Patrick edited AXIS as that would have made things easy, but it looks as though Teresa edited that one. (I'd vote for you if I could, Teresa!).

[/rant]

My husband found a musician on YouTube who is pretty cool with an amazing instrument.

He calls himself That 1 Guy, and he has a homebrew electronic instrument that lets him be a one-man band.

I'm terrible at describing musical genres, but his background includes progressive jazz, and his piece called "Butt Machine" has a bit of a rap sound. I love the red-haired dancer in the video. (Warning, I do not hear lyrics clearly without a great deal of effort. There's nothing obviously offensive in this one, but I can't say it is 100% clean.) One of the YouTube videos also includes some very nice string playing that segues into what I'd call funk.

He's interesting to watch because he uses (apparently) on-the fly sampling and multiple percussionist's foot-pedals to control his "Magic Pipe" instrument, which looks a bit like the pre-rinse faucets in a commercial kitchen.

There's lots more on YouTube, but here's one last live recording that I liked, too.

Hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

Japanese Robotic Hamster

I mean, wow! The name says it all: it's Japanese, it's robotic, and it's a hamster!!!!

I found a certain scene near the end of _The Muppet Movie_ *extremely* scary when I was about eight or nine. My recollection is vague, but I think there was some kind of helmet thingy that fried people's brains...?

Tim Walters @393:

Sometimes when I bounce off a book I'll just put it in the trade-in box to take to the used bookstore. Other times -- if a book has been strongly enough recommended, or if I feel like maybe I'm just not in the right frame to appreciate it -- I'll put it back on the shelf and give it another try a year or more later. Right now both _Ulysses_ and _Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand_ are waiting for another try (it would be my third or fourth attempt at the latter; I love the prologue and enjoy the first couple of chapters, then there's a long passage in the middle that I can't get through, or couldn't the last couple of times I read it). That's proven a good strategy in the past; among the books I've bounced off of the first time and enjoyed greatly when I tried them again a long while later are _The Lord of the Rings_ and _The Worm Ouroboros_.

David Bilek @459:

You can use the SF Editors wiki to look up editors and what books they've edited. For instance, here are books edited by PNH, 2006 to 2009.

I'm not sure what the point of such a spam script is, since it keeps writing over the results of its previous attacks with a completely different advertisement every few hours.

I was ten, I think. I guess scary hits on different levels then.

a) I would not feel totally guilty if my hunter-kitty got at it (which she might not, if it does not demonstrate much independent motion) ; b) no cage/cleaning, etc.

i wish they'd make a robo-budgie, though (for most of the same reasons). I would so love to have another bird but cannot afford one big enough to scare the cats. Plus a parrot would outlive me.

Clifton, that's great that she called you parents!

abi, it's the type of popcorn. I buy mine here and currently have Savannah Gold and Red River Valley. I'll try a couple more types next time.

And when a zoo had a cat-2 hurricane approaching, they herded the flamingos into the mens room for safety.

*say that five times fast.**
**when i was little, i thought "five times" was a measurement of the speed you were supposed to say it, i.e. five times faster than "fast."

mmmmmmm ... brains

I feel like Blade Runner takes Dick's ideas, picks them up, says "ooh, shiny," and puts them down again, without really engaging with them.

It's not that it doesn't engage them, it's that they don't appear at all. Blade Runner has almost nothing to do with Philip K. Dick, and in fact, the themes about androids versus humans are exactly reversed from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?. Dick uses the androids as symbols of everything artificial and unhuman in the world he describes; Ridley Scott talks (very eloquently, in the climactic scene on the roof between Deckard and Roy, I think) about humans' inhumanity to everything non-human, in the form of the Replicants.

As for the ending, it's not so much that I don't like the voiceover (I don't; it's a cheat) as that the first time I saw the movie, in the original cut, I heard Gaff's last line, "You don't know how long she'll live; no one does!" followed by a hard cut to black, and, before the voiceover started I said to myself, "Holy crap, self, that was a great ending." But the voiceover undoes that.

And re Dark City: sounds like I don't want to see the director's cut either. I like the movie as I first saw it, and like the DVD I have: it's pace and mood exactly match its tone and lighting and editing; in fact the only thing I'd like to change, is Kieffer Sutherland's performance, which is downright embarrassing. But I still get goosebumps remembering that line, "Shut it down! Shut it all down!"

You have a page from my friend Deb! (Deb Aoki) Small small world.

small world indeed. even smaller archipelago, i guess. we've been fans of deb's since she had the booth opposite us at stumptown (portland) comics fest two years ago.

Hey, congratulations! I think that proves that you guys have done a good job fostering her. I hope it's just the first such sign.

Well, it's creeping me out, and I wish I would quit it.

"Sleep now."

No, I think you're right, and it's just senility creeping up me.* And that is a much better line. Made my hair stand on end that first time I heard it, which is why the voiceover just doesn't cut it for me.

* With another gallon of coffee, I might attempt a parody of Bonnie Raitt's That's Just Love Creeping Up on You, but right now, the neurons are running in circles, going "Baaaah", and I can't get them to do anything.

Or are you chanting the words with a Voice of Power™? And chanting for effect, or just ranging?

The brains taste like licorice to me, so you can have mine.

From a passage near the end:

If we can't prosecute the trolling out of online anonymity, might there be some way to mitigate it with technology? One solution that has proved effective is "disemvoweling" - having message-board administrators remove the vowels from trollish comments, which gives trolls the visibility they crave while muddying their message.

Your husband is *full* of win. O lucky woman!

Fortunately, I'd been warned about Dark City before I saw it and told now to turn the sound on until I saw a man in a bath.

Department of Homeland Security states it may indefinitely detain electronic devices - including laptops, portable hard drives, thumb drives, and the like - at the border.

A copy of the official policy is here.

Something to keep in mind while traveling - if it looks suspicious, it's possible that they will treat it as such at the border. Leave anything you can't afford to lose - data or system - at home, folks.

The policies state that officers may "detain" laptops "for a reasonable period of time" to "review and analyze information." This may take place "absent individualized suspicion."

The policies cover "any device capable of storing information in digital or analog form," including hard drives, flash drives, cell phones, iPods, pagers, beepers, and video and audio tapes. They also cover "all papers and other written documentation," including books, pamphlets and "written materials commonly referred to as 'pocket trash' or 'pocket litter.' "

Reasonable measures must be taken to protect business information and attorney-client privileged material, the policies say, but there is no specific mention of the handling of personal data such as medical and financial records.

When a review is completed and no probable cause exists to keep the information, any copies of the data must be destroyed. Copies sent to non-federal entities must be returned to DHS. But the documents specify that there is no limitation on authorities keeping written notes or reports about the materials.

TexAnne, good point. Comforting, even, but see below.

Bruce 487: It's just running in background. But sometimes what runs in background in my head is the Voice, and I should figure out what it means. Right now what should be running in my head as music is 'hi cursi navis stellis Inceptis'. But that's another story.

Scott 494: It's like a slow boil. My claws are already red; how can I not be dead?

There will be red tusks at Bhurtpore if this goes on.

The SF EDITORS site lists the books edited in 2007 by PNH, Lou Anders, and David Hartwell but not Beth Meacham or Ginjer Buchanan so it's 60% of the way there.

I humbly submit that as the driving force behind splitting the Best Editor Hugo, Patrick may wish to make sure the tor.com site lists what books were edited by what nominee since 3 of the 5 nominees are Tor editors.

Dr. Brain.

Despite our amusement, we'll start with someone else and then work our way to the reknowned brain doctor, Dr. Brain.

Do his patients send cards to him, saying "Thinking of you"?

Has someone taken photos of him at a party, having imbibed a bit much, and posted them as "This is your Brain on drugs"?

Inquiring minds wish to know.

I'm a lefty who is pretty functional with my right hand, and nearly ambidextrous with a computer. Up until today, my work setup consisted of a PC with the mouse on the right, used right handed and a Mac with the mouse on the left, used left-handed. I just moved to a cubicle that is the mirror-image of the other one, and because of the lengths of the cables, I've switched sides. The PC is now on my left and the Mac on the right. The PC is fine, but the Mac feels bizarre on that side. I have a constant sensation that something is wrong while I'm using the mouse.

Otherwise... well, the Snark is a Boojum, and I'd consider calling for the Irregulars... Dorsai or otherwise.

(obscure Heinlein references, at your request...) :-D

(Well done!)

Fear not, this doctor's initals are LA. He must be French, or even French-Canadian, because who else would have La Brain?

La brain, c'est moi! Apres-moi la brain. (and other fine French sayings.)

Were you alluding to the famous brain scholar Dr. Brain, Lord Brain, the editor of Brain?

I do QA work. Hardware and software. Working hard on a release.

I lent a lab system to a cow orker to do a set of tests. Simulated repair procedures. It was returned . . . well, the Ethernet cables were mixed around, so the connection used to do administrative check-ups was hooked to the network used for video streaming. Took a fair while to figure out that.

Then one of the Ethernet cards didn't show up. The link lights are up. I scan the bus for it over and over.

Finally I look inside. Card is plugged into the bus at an angle, so it's getting power (thus the link lights) but the whole "I'm an Ethernet card, enumerate me!" thing isn't possible.

Now I have to wait an hour, maybe more, for the RAID to reconstruct itself.

Is it Friday yet?

I lent a lab system to a cow orker

There's the problem. Cattle are notoriously unreliable employees. So are orcs for that matter...

Something to keep in mind while traveling - if it looks suspicious, it's possible that they will treat it as such at the border. Leave anything you can't afford to lose - data or system - at home, folks.

Nice suggestion, unless the sole reason for your overseas travel is to gather the data.

My partner's on her way back from a visit to the Magellan Observatory in Chile. Five nights of astronomical data uses up a lot of space on a hard drive, and the connection back to her home institution is slow and unreliable enough (ironically, it's the Pasadena end, not the Chile end, that's the problem) that sneakernet is by far the best way of getting the data home, or at least it was before the TSA decided they could arbitrarily confiscate the only existing copy of data for any length of time, for no reason. At least nobody's dissertation is riding on it.

I'm sure the free-flowing champagne that was allowed to be brought into the performance didn't have any influence on my reaction to the show. Not one whit.

*hic*

Scott, #494, and that includes US citizens re-entering the country, too.

lorax, #510, ship it back?

Oh, dear, I didn't know about it; maybe if I'm loud it will make up for the lateness: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

When was it? This month, as the 0 readers on my blog are aware, is the peak of birthday season, almost everybody in my immediate family has a birthday between June 1 and Aug. 4, so it sounds like you're in the season too.

Unfortunately "on her way back" in this case should be read as "is currently airborne" so it's too late for this time.

thanks!

my birthday's july 28th, & yeah, i have half a dozen friends i could name offhand with birthdays within a week of mine. hmm. what happens nine lunar months before late july every year?...

More and more (re #494) it seems the best way to cross the border is on the ground. And the best way to get your stuff across is via FedEx.

TSA is making me tired. I'd like to go back home again once in a while, see my rellies, spend a little money, get some decent TexMex... It's been years, and they keep on like this, it's gonna be more years.

growing up I knew very few people with birthdays anywhere near mine (tomorrow), and tended to feel rather lonely. (It didn't help that my birthday wasn't during the school year, so it was harder to get parties together.) All of my friends were born in spring or fall.

yes to all of the above, especially how jealous i got when someone else got to bring cupcakes for the class & get all fussed over on their during-school-term birthdays (i wasn't sad that my birthday parties were more sparsely attended; i clued in early on that i don't like crowds, or hosting parties for people whom i don't really like).

i met all these co-birthday-season friends post high school. maybe there is something to astrology. or maybe it's just random.*

*you wanna know what's random? the first girl i met who shared my birthday also shared my first & middle names.

Ginger @ 504 -
TexAnne, Scott Taylor: GMTA, I see. Or do you share a Brain?

Umm.... not to the best of my knowledge. At least, I don't think I'm a Zombie working at a fast food joint in Hell*... (although, you know, there've been days when it might have been a better career path).

And, well, if Txanne is sharing my brane... I'm sorrry, it's rather cluttered in here. And can I use it this weekend? I have logistical werk to do....

*(Obligatory image to make Andrew Plotkin twitch - Morrolan, in a deadpan tone, pointing over shoulder, saying "Look. A Monkey.") :-D

My partner has the absolute worst kind of birthday to have: during Christmas week, but not on Christmas. If your birthday is on Christmas, you can celebrate your half-birthday instead and nobody blinks. But if you're not on the actual day, you don't have that excuse, and you still have all the disadvantages of everybody being either out of town or busy with family stuff. The one time his parents tried to have a party for him, they ended up inviting children-of-friends-of-friends who he didn't even know! He grew up equating birthdays with being miserable and forgotten, and it's still like pulling teeth to even get him to let me take him out for a birthday dinner.

* Actually, I had worse trauma about my graduation party -- to which they dictated that I could invite no more than six friends, because that was the maximum number of people who could sit (in chairs) in one room in our house at the same time. Their idea of "party" was... a bit strange.

(with a sister, wife, and son having birthdays in late july...)

They also cover "all papers and other written documentation," including books, pamphlets and "written materials commonly referred to as 'pocket trash' or 'pocket litter.' "

I keep my diary in a constructed language of my own, in spiral-bound notebooks. I've travelled with said notebooks to Worldcons and Esperanto conventions and linguistics conferences without problems, but I suspect I'd better bring a blank notebook to next year's Montreal Worldcon, and write nothing in it during the con except in English, if I don't want it confiscated on return on general suspicion of unamericanness.

(On the other hand, I've occasionally had fantasies about my diaries being lost and separated from their context, and then rediscovered and puzzled over as the new Voynich Manuscript decades or centuries hence. Maybe a notebook stashed in a TSA warehouse for a while and rediscovered after the TSA is finally abolished as an affront to mankind would be a good candidate for that scenario. :)

This looks like just one more scene in the endless TSA/DHS clownshow. These guys won't be satisfied until nobody is willing to travel by airplane anymore (and so the airlines are idle, but still subsidized) or to cross the US border for anything less than an absolute necessity. I wonder how long it will be before we see the same power asserted for domestic air travel, too.

Make a backup copy of your data before you travel, obviously (that's sensible anyway, since freelance thieves are more likely to snatch your laptop than the room-temperature-IQ brigade at TSA). If you have data you need to send, there will surely be some way to get it across a border electronically. (What's the maximum allowed space for a gmail account?)

I wish I had any faith at all that electing Obama would reverse direction away from a police state. But I don't, to be honest.

Great to know I'm not alone in finding most "sit coms" excruciating to watch and non-funny. I can enjoy MASH, and oldies like "To the Manor Born" but have problems even sitting through a full episode of Fawlty Towers. If the whole point is to laugh at people in situations which I, if on the receiving end, would find excruciatingly embarrassing - just not funny (to me).

It always struck me as interesting that, at the end of Huckleberry Finn, when con-man King Louis finally is caught, tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail, Mark Twain has Huck, who had been on the receiving end of the King's tricks, wind up feeling sorry for the man.

That is an ....interesting concept of party. It makes me want to throw a blowout party for you just to make up for it! With a giant bouncy castle and elephant rides.

When I got my first PC, I decided very early to put the mouse on the left, on the basis that since I was faster at typing with my right than my left hand, for editing it would make sense to use the mouse in my left hand to move around the page, and then my right hand for the typing.

Keeping the mouse on the left has been confusing people about my handedness for many years now!

Gmail currently tells me "You are currently using 581 MB (8%) of your 6986 MB." I've been routinely backing stuff up by emailing zip files to myself; I suspect those backups are at least half of that 581 MB.

Babel-17

In re social embarrassment/embarrassment "comedy":
add my voice to those who has far too often wondered if his not "getting it" meant something was wrong with him. (Although one incident in high school was a strong argument against; I made an observation about the school we (marching band) were at, which was all too obviously situated too near a sewage treatment plant (whose brilliant idea was that??), and the "OMG he actually told a joke!" reaction was more distasteful than the smell.)

Cat Meadors @388:
Archangel Network?

Tim Walters @422:
It took me almost 20 years to try pizza and eggplant parmigiana a second time; for years, the smell of both made me nauseous, because the first time I'd eaten each of them I had happened to be coming down with something.

Xopher @452:
I think the side-friction thing is that it helps hold pieces in place, which both opens gaps for smaller pieces to fall through and counters inertia holding the larger ones in place (thus an effective lifting effect for the larger pieces which are lower in the mixture).

Re: border crossings: I vote for ground travel. When we drove to Montreal in March, we crossed the border without any issues. I've flown to Montreal before, and air travel is just more and more of a hassle every year. In fact, I've got a national meeting coming up in Indianapolis this fall, and if I go, I'm taking the train. I'm done with airplanes unless it's a charter flight (or I finally make good on my promise to learn how to fly my own).

Interesting; I'm fine using the mouse on the right - I do switch around when I'm doing lots of editing, to give both hands a change. I loath the touchpad, but use the trackpoint mainly with my right forefinger - so that doesn't translate from the mouse, for me.

Ginger @ 538
But it's fun messing with people's heads, when I have the mouse on the "wrong" side.

Caroline, #531: Don't worry -- I've been making up for it myself for 30 years! My first Halloween party on my own had some 50-odd guests in a 1-bedroom apartment; there were 5 different main loci of conversation (living room, kitchen, hallway, bedroom, porch) and people stood around or perched on the edges of the furniture or sat on the floor, and a good time was had by all. And this was the 21st year for my annual Chocolate Decadence party, which generally isn't quite that large but still features a much more casual attitude than my parents would ever have considered.

But Eva mouses left (she's left-handed), so I have to shift over when I use her computer.

Cute kitties! Mine also like high up places, especially the highest bookcase in my library. I have to keep one central bookcase half-height so the cats can jump onto that one and then onto the taller ones (I have three parallel sets of back-to-back bookcases in the middle of the room, and more cases on the walls).

albatross, #528: Is it just me, or is this starting to look a lot like the "isolation" tactic often practiced by abusive parents and partners? The object, of course, being to prevent the target from encountering any person or environment that might provide a reality check...

That's exactly what it is. A major concern for any tyranny is not just keeping people from actually leaving, but keeping them from finding out that there are places where people aren't subject to such abuses. This applies on both the personal and political levels. And I've been saying for years now that the TSA abuses are intended from the top, to cut down on both internal travel within the US, and external travel to and from other countries.

On the sidelight about the GOP convention: the pamphlet is not only poor quality, but sadly out of date. We plan to visit relatives in Wisconsin for the duration of the GOP i/n/v/a/s/i/o/n convention.

The future is already here - it is just unevenly distributed.
-- William Gibson

For folks who supposedly hate and fear communism, they sure are doing a good job of recreating the old Soviet Union....

(I creep ever so much closer to bailing... because, damn it, I'd be an albatross for the resistance.)

Until the day the peasants get out the pitchforks and torches and show up at the palace gates, because they've had enough.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's been watching this coming.

The relevance here, is that some sitcoms try to exploit that response, trying to get cheap laughs from the viewer by exaggerating standard tropes such as the "idiot ball" or the "butt monkey".

Interesting.

It's an over-the-top button/badge board, done electronically, and oddly hypnotic.

However, there is no "Making Light" flair! Nor "Fluorospherian"... this is a great pity, really it is.

Now, (from the left) there's a mouse on the left and a clicky trackpoint keyboard on the mac, a small space, and another clicky trackpoint + mouse on the right for either the windows machine or the laptop, depending on what I'm doing.

I just wish that I could find a good keyboard that didn't have the numeric keypad, since the keypad is wide enough to cause additional strain when I'm using the mouse on that side.

Jo Walton has been writing an amazing set of essays, many of them appreciations of great or lesser-known SFF novels. She is a wonderful essayist.

(The day when there was also artillary fire and a multiple alarm brush fire was particularly memorable, in the sense of nothing else got remembered that day).

Have you thought of looking at compact keyboards designed to fit in a laptop bag (for use with a laptop stand)? I've just got one that's about 13 inches wide - see http://www.amazon.com/A4-Keyboard-without-Numeric-Keypad/dp/B000F6UUXQ - no numeric keypad, and not to expensive.

The action on the keys feels okay to me, but I've realised I'd need to get a wrist rest to use with it (laptops coming with their own inbuilt wrist rest in front of the keyboard, of course).

Does anyone have any experience with the LapWorks "Laptop Desk Series - Laptop Desk 2.0" ? I'm thinking of getting one because (a)it's dual function (reduce heat with laptop on my knees, as well as working on a desk to raise the laptop at an angle); (b)the E-Z laptop riser I just got at work lifts the front of the laptop about an inch off the desk which begins to make it to high for my comfort for typing.

I expect there probably is, as I've done it successfully myself; however, your problem statement doesn't include enough diagnostic information for me to speculate further without at least checking with your Device Mangler first. I'm not sure I'd want to bore everyone but us with tech neepery on this thread, though.

C'mon. You know you wanna. And I for one am curious as to why things are the way they are.

So it's really looking like a design choice on the part of non-Mac hardware manufacturers.

If you can get the mouse to work by plugging it in to another USB socket (either a second socket on your keyboard or another one elsewhere), that means that you don't have to smash the mouse with a sledge hammer.

If you can get a second USB device (printer, etc.) to work in the slot you want to use for your mouse, then you don't have to smash the keyboard with the above-mentioned sledge hammer.

Note: sometimes you have to restart the computer a couple of times to get it to recognize your new device setup, or even reinstall the device driver from the CD/DVD you may have received when you bought the mouse and/or keyboard.

Also, if you have a current replacement or repair warranty on a faulty device, you may not need to use the sledge hammer on it (unless it turns out to be a bigger hassle to send it in for repair or replacement than you'd want to deal with).

If the mouse and keyboard are from the same manufacturer, you may also want to prepare a hard-hitting rant or clever poem lampooning the venal slackwits who should damned well make their own products work together better than that.

If you email me the specifics of the make and model of your keyboard and mouse, I'll do some more detailed research on them.

When utilizing a sledge hammer to retire recalcitrant devices (and improve your morale), please use reasonable safety precautions (work gloves and eye protection, at the very least).

I never know, with PCs, what's really going on under the hood. I think the thing with the control-alt key combo is interesting. I wonder what those keys were being mapped to, when the Mac keyboard is just plugged into a PC, rather than it being a Mac running Windows?

Truffle failure.

Trying again.

Truffaut is probably the only director of the French avant-garde that I liked. Also...
("Serge, psst! It's truffle, not Truffaut.")
Oh.
Nevermind.

Lee @540 - damn. That's so depressingly explanatory. I've gotta get that Euro citizenship.

Joel @568 - afaik the position of the courts who have tried the matter is that borders are special, and that people crossing the border have no reasonable expectation of privacy because Customs has the task of assessing duties. I think it's definitely scope creep to give Customs the right to check for everything in addition to taxable assets, of course -- but I'm not a lawyer. Some days I'm damned close to not being an American.

I really wish we'd get somebody in power who gave a damn about American values again. I don't see it happening. I, too, thought Obama might be change I could believe in. The FISA fiasco showed me how ridiculous that hope was.

I'm pretty sure it's going to get worse before it gets better.

By the way, is there a photo of you black turtleneck-wearing, cigarette-smoking, scarf-wrapped? If so, my blog, ML photo gallery is quite happy to hang new pictures to its infinite walls.

Second truffle failure, this time catastrophic (truffle core breach, actually). The truffle approach (with the two-part molds) isn't working. Rethinking process.

*sigh* Instead of cute little truffles, I'm gonna have to use big honkin' domes and stuff to hold the Cointreau ganache, and the Chambord ganache, and possibly even the piña colada ganache, if I decide to do that.

Life sucks. I want to sleep. But if I don't ship tomorrow I'm pretty well out of luck.

There was a chance, when the ATX motherboard standard was designed, to put the connectors up front, but they didn't take it.

I think the reason may be part economic; motherboards -- which come in different sizes but have a standardized rear layout* -- have to mount flush against the rear of the case so that expansion slots and other ports you *wouldn't* want up front can be exposed to the outside world. You could have a standardized header to connect front-mounted KB and M ports, but it would be an added expense. So they just put in rear facing ports.

* Well, beyond the KB & M there are all sorts of audio and video things, but they're put in a specified rectangle. Good cases have a window in back for this rectangle.

Drat. I assumed you had a USB keyboard connection that just wasn't working properly. My sledge hammer advice still stands, though; it cures many tech support ills fairly definitively.

I've heard several interesting terms for catastrophic situations. Confectioners have "truffle failure". Pilots of large planes call a failure of the force feedback from the hydraulic systems that move the control surfaces "feel failure". I'd love to hear other picturesque terms like that. Know any?

I could have really skipped having our minivan stolen earlier tonight.

[/venting]

The bottle of Laphroaig--should it be brought to Denver?

Has everyone going to Denvention seen the updates to the Party thread?

oh, gosh, bruce, that's totally shitty. let us know what happens.

Those truffles will not be at WorldCon. I'm not sure what I'll do with them, broken as they are. It's a sad, sad thing.

However, I had more of the same filling and I put it in something else. We'll see how that goes.

Meanwhile, the dulce de leche appears to be "crunchy style" (crunchy sugar crystals permeate it). Eat those chocolates (if they don't fail too) at your own risk.

Well, I'll be... not sure *what* I'll be. I just checked the back of my two-year-old Belkin keyboard, and yep, hidden in back are two USB ports. I had no idea. This could solve the almost-too-short mouse cable problem (when I get enough 'spoons' together to go hunting around the back of the computer to unplug it...)

That's less than fun. I do hope you get it back, or at least the various items and widgets, etc. that made that minivan your minivan. I also hope that your insurance company will replace your car seats, should the minivan happen to have contained any at the time of the theft.

Best of luck to you.

Not so, Bruce. I don't think drinking once from the Grail conveys immortality; you have to keep doing it. That's why Donovan wanted the Grail himself, rather than just wanting to take a swig from it. Don't forget, after all, that Indy's dad drank from the Grail as well, and is none the less dead by the start of the fourth film. So, no, Indy's mortal.

Once they're approved, a search on the Flair app for "Making Light" should bring them up.

For instance: the dying macally keyboard with which I am currently cursed has the USB ports for the mouse at the upper corners of the keyboard case, facing left and right; this means that the area at the upper corner of the keyboard is a no-go zone for the mouse hand.

If you have a desk with a keyboard tray (which I don't, because of spatial limitations) or put the keyboard on your knees and use the mouse on your recliner arm (which, sorry, but I'm Not That Nerd) the placement isn't a problem, but for those of us forced to use the mouse and keyboard on a flat desk or table there's intermittant annoyances caused by running into the plug or over the mouse cable.

And don't even get me started on the interaction of device designers who put printer controls on the top surface of printer/scanners with furniture manufacturers who invariably have the printer shelf five feet off the floor.

The routine response to complaints about this (or about optical mice which become clogged with dust and lose their ability to track smoothly, et'c) is "well, buy a better one." Which, fine, OK, but at the moment this household is at its limits for expenditures and still needs to replace the front door and re-side the south and west ends of the house to keep the outside out.

Also, Xopher, various: sounds to me as if you have the makings for a whole lot of very exotic ice cream or cake or cookies or brownies. Possibly enough to fatten up the entire eastern seaboard. Still, I wish you luck with the next lot.

sympathize with the stress... that initial sinking feeling of "uh-oh, I hope my memory is going, because if my memory is good then this space shouldn't be empty."

Clickiness is definitely The Way for me, although it bothered some former cow orkers no end.

I have a Unitek clicky thing that's so old--well, the model is--that it's got a PS2 cord coming out the back about three inches in from the right corner. I had to get a special adapter from clickykeyboards.com in order to use it with my USB hub, which has all sorts of things attached to it (mouse, PDS cradle, scanner, external drive, speakers ...) The other USB port on my laptop mainly gets used with LibraryThing's cuecat.

If I'm using the laptop away from my desk, I have a super-small travel mouse to plug in instead, which otherwise lives full-time in a briefcase pocket.

How would keeping my diary in Babel-17 rather than my own gjâ-zym-byn help? It would look at least equally suspicious to TSA or Customs staff. (Probably any language other than English would look suspicious to them.)

Or do you mean, if I could think in Babel-17, I would become smart enough to talk my way past security without having anything confiscated? "These are not the papers you are looking for?" It's been too long since I've read Babel-17 to recall exactly what psychomagical properties the language was supposed to have.

I had a IIe, but iirc, the keyboard angle just didn't work for me. And it was before I could type quickly.

I've gone from the Apple Extended Keyboard 2 (wide, great action, had spares till a year ago) to an original Apple ADB Keyboard (narrow, and decent action, died due to connector failure) to the IBM Series M. (with detours through mushy laptop keyboards). I've been with the Series M for 4 or 5 years now and I don't think that I'm going to give them up, at least until I can't get them connected to the machine I'm using.

Though, I'm tempted to ebay a couple and look at hacking in a bluetooth module. That would be a hack on par with a rotary desk GSM cell phone.

May you have the same luck I had when the Geo was stolen... what? three? four? years ago; found a couple/few weeks later, intact with just a few more miles on the odometer, and nothing missing.

If I recall correctly, Babel 17 was so tied up with the world-view of the originators of the language that anyone understanding it could not help but sympathize with their cause - a bit of a problem for the protagonist who is hired to decipher enemy communications during a war.

P J Evans @574:
In fact, I've used several Dells with front USB ports, so with USB keyboard/mouse it's easy. I'm going with the motherboard thing otherwise — or would, were it not for the fact that most computers whose cases I've opened already have a logic board mounted to the front cover, connected to a header on the motherboard. I suppose the extra holes in the front cover might cost an extra fraction of a cent or something.

Joel Polowin @568:
Nonsense, that's not at all important. Terrists, y'know. </sarcasm>

JESR @596:
Apple did the same thing with their fancy new metal keyboards. Annoying, it is. (Especially since, were it not for the resulting side projection, the metal keyboard would be enough smaller than a classic keyboard to solve some space problems... which is why I got two of them to start with.)

It was stolen from the townhouse parking lot where our son had gone for his weekly RPG night with his buddies. (He's been the primary user of the van for about the last year.)

If the van was taken by someone who wanted something to joyride around in and abandon later, there's a chance it might be recovered eventually. (Though there's a distressing tendency with joyriders in this area to smash windows, slash seats, rip out stereos, and/or set vehicles on fire before abandoning them.)

If it was taken by a pro who delivered it to a chop shop, it's almost certainly in pieces already.

For that extra bit of annoyance, the vehicle was the one equipped with the wheelchair hoist for Hilde's electric wheelchair.

(The "good" news on that front is that Hilde hasn't been able to use her electric wheelchair for about a year, due to diplopia from her rheumatoid athritis. After forty years with severe RA, you start to get into the secondary side effects like vision problems; diplopia is pretty rare, but cataracts -- which Hilde's also had, and had surgery for -- are a known possibility for long-term RA patients. So losing the hoist right now isn't the major problem it would be otherwise.)

Minor bit of luck: The van had been used to move some furniture recently, so the two back seats are still sitting under a tarp in our front courtyard.

OUr insurance company says they wait at least 10 days after a theft before declaring it lost, so it'll probably be at least two weeks before we get anything from them. We have $30/day rental coverage for the immediate future (and to my surprise, if I rent an "Economy" class car on a weekly basis, it actually comes in at just under $30 a day; on a daily basis, about $35 a day).

And of course, this comes at a time when I don't need unexpected stress or expenses. (I'm still not re-employed after taking retirement from the Postal Service two months ago.)

That sucks big time; I'm glad to hear that it doesn't suck as much as it could. Good luck with the insurance company.

JESR, #596, I have a lowered keyboard section of the desk (differently designed from most desks) and it wants me to put the trackball on top of a higher platform at my side. That doesn't work, but there isn't room for the trackball on the keyboard section, either, so I stacked four 4x6 post-it tablets next to the keyboard and put the trackball on top. Don't know if that will help your situation.

I have, somewhere, a PS/2 splitter for running mouse and keyboard off the same single socket in a laptop.

If you're a hardware hacker it shouldn't be difficult, with a bit of soldering, to mount a cheap USB hub inside the keyboard, adding an external USB socket, or some hidden device inside the keyboard. Maybe a gigabyte of flash RAM? People have done this sort of thing with an ASUS Eee, but for a keyboard, without access to more power, there might be a problem.

My PC has six USB ports, and two of them, easy to get at, share a single 500 mA supply.

Ah. So we all want to start travelling with documents in Babel-17, which will get confiscated, puzzled over by Customs, eventually turned over to the NSA or CIA, and then, when the intelligence analysts figure out how to read them, they'll bring down the ancien regime from within...?

This is a survey for a social history about what people like about Tolkien. There's a option for further interviews. I just did one and had enough fun with it that I'm passing the word along.

Wow, brilliant! Thanks for sharing that. *runs off to share*

Clifton @391 - she's 5. With us it was "Elmo in Grouchland," a couple of years ago - that is a Really Scary Movie. Seriously. If I'd watched it before I showed it to her, well, I wouldn't have shown it to her. What were they thinking? Elmo's geared to, like, 2-year-olds. The movie... not so much. (On the other hand, we went to a booksigning by Kevin Clash not too long after that, and getting to meet Elmo is still one of her fondest memories. Getting mocked by Elmo for forgetting my camera, well, not so much one of mine, but it was still funny.)

Constance @407 - I'd never thought of reading Joyce out loud, but I've pretty much developed a mental block against him strong enough that I wouldn't bother, anyway. But I know that sort of thing can work - I never could read Russians, but I went through a "check out all the library's unabridged book-on-tape classics" phase for awhile, and suddenly, I could understand them! (Er, not Russian. The translation. It turns out a big part of my problem was that I couldn't keep the names straight, but when I heard them instead of reading them, I could.) The Brothers Karamazov is actually really good! Who knew? I thought English teachers just assigned that sort of thing to be annoying. (I also got through all of Moby Dick that way - I'd read it twice before, always stopping about 5 chapters from the end. Why? No idea. But also! Really good!)

Serge @447 - sounds like this Lasalle guy would like Stephen Hunter - he's the critic who said X-Men was a bad movie because "mutations don't work that way"

Jim Henry @463 & Rikibeth @465 - you're right, the frog-brain-zapper part did scare me when I saw it in the theater - I guess I was 4 or 5 when it came out. But it wasn't that scary to the kiddo, I think mostly because she didn't really get what was going on, and also because we were really pushing the "remember that part at the beginning? And how this is all a flashback? Could Kermit be watching the movie if something bad had happened to him?" thing from minute 1 of the movie. We just watched Ratatouille on the advice of a friend and that was a LOT harder - rats in peril! No guarantee of rat safety other than parent's insistence that they're not going to show dead rats in a G-rated movie! There were many tears and more than one request to turn the movie off, but at the end she said it was really good, and asked if we could get a pet rat. (NO. Um, I mean, that wouldn't be really fair to the rat, the kitty would try to eat it and it would be scared all the time.)

Also, in random-open-threadedness, I wanted to thank the folks who helped out on that riddle thing. I won! And I was the only person to get both riddles, so that was kind of nice. (The prize was a bunch of things I already owned, so I gave them all away, but that's NOT THE POINT. The point is that I won. Yay!)

Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

Over One Hundred Thousand Western lowland gorillas found in swamp in Northern Congo.

ObDC - they finally found Gorilla City!

It was cheesy but fun. I'm looking forward to seeing it again, in better shape than the Nth-generation videotapes and the chopped-up-for-the-comedy-channels later rebroadcasts.

It was located at Palmer Park in Tempe. First indications are that the only damage is a punched-out ignition. I should know more after it gets into the repair shop and gone over.

It's still going to cost me money ($500 deductible on the policy), but *whew*. I was really not looking forward to shopping for and paying for a replacement.

(I had a neighbor whose car was stolen and recovered intact, even to its 'Anzio Beachhead Veteran' bumpersticker.)

The $500 deductable is a really good idea; I know that we've saved thousands, over the years, carrying that size deductable on our collision insurance. On the other hand, it's still $500 out of pocket when the time comes to pay for the damage, as I learned after our little deer problem in May. I suppose putting the money saved into a "deductable account" as the pros advise would be an excellant idea; however, our financial situation is perpetually stuck on "too many holes in the dike, not enough thumbs" and I'm sure the savings all went to milk, cat food, and toilet paper.

Glad you had better luck than I had when my folding bicycle was stolen a couple of months ago.

Bruce, that is such wonderful news.

Apple also sells an external bluetooth version of their laptop keyboards. Small, but no travel. And no USB hub.

I've been quite happy with the Fujitsu 4725 over the last decade. It has metal switches and I really like the feedback, but it's not as clicky as the Model M. Perhaps not as well built either, since I had to replace it once about 5 years ago. Didn't survive the second overseas move. It is full sized, but I mouse left handed to reduce repetitive strain on my dominant hand,* so the extra reach isn't a problem. My main regret is that the Ctrl key is below left shift instead of above. Well, that and I've been waiting for a USB version about as long as I've been using it.

ObSF: It seems Star Trek consoles may soon be available for purchase.

---
* Also recommended because one may write and mouse at the same time!

And now Paris Hilton has made something that does not make me think less of her.

Someone better check the temperature in Hell... I think it's dropping fast.

Bruce Arthurs, #629, that's wonderful news!

Serge, #634, more great news!

The daughter has been watching Elmo in Grouchland, since she was three, with no ill effects. (Now she's five.) It helps that it's a pretty good movie (for some values of good and movie). I enjoyed Mandy Potemkin Patimkin Timoshenko's performance. Vanessa Williams was good, too, though strangely cast.

My favorite performer in an Elmo movie is probably Kristin Chenoweth as Miss Noodle in Elmo's Wild Wild West/i>. (I wonder if she's related to the Chenoweths who owned the music store?)

Psssst - you guys chanting and snapping your fingers there in the back, keep it up, it's working!

Waterboarding in 1623 - so much for escapist reading.

Roasted Beet Salad

3 large beets
3 clementines (mandarin oranges) or tangerines
1/4 fresh lime
1/4 pound feta cheese
1/2 cup walnuts

Peel and halve the beets, and roast in a 350 degree oven until cooked and slightly tender but not too squishy. (Preferably earlier in the day or the day before.)

Dice the beets into small cubes. Peel and segment the clementines, and chop the segments roughly into thirds. Toss together and squeeze the lime over them.

Dice the feta cheese into small cubes. Toss with the beets and clementines. Toast the walnuts, chop coarsely, and sprinkle over the top.

Serve on a bed of greens.

I'm only just getting started, but I'm looking for 1. fanfiction written in languages other than English and 2. any sites/blogs/people I should be reading on this topic that I'm not already. Kristina Busse and Henry Jenkins are already on my list. Who else should I be reading?

Surely you've heard of FandomWank? They have comment on a little bit of every fandom, including the bizzare feuds that Korean Boy Band/Girl Band fans have with one another. Cleolinda is a very interesting and intelligent (snarky) contributor, also known for Movies in 15 Minutes. (That was the book link, try this for the current site.)

Who else should I be reading?

a friend of mine has recently started her master's degree in fanfic studies (more or less). she's making her own curriculum, too, so she's probably got some recommendations. here's her livejournal.

Speaking of Fandom Wank, as it says on their user information page, they have a wiki.

miriam @655: Thanks! I'll check that out.

JESR @ 656: I've spent afternoons lost in FW's wiki. One of the reasons I'm doing this is that it's a way to take all the reading of fandom meta that I do for fun (including the time I spend here) and doing something constructive with it.

Serve chilled on a bed of greens.

Having just now checked back, after having read the wikipedia entry on 221b Baker Street...well the mental image is quite striking.

so i'm self-publishing my graphic novel, right, & i'm trying to make sure my copyright/publication page is all right & proper. i've noticed that when there aren't library of congress categories listed, books will often list two or three genre categories, i'm assuming to let stores & libraries know where to shelve it.

is there anyplace a big list of all the proper categories? i've been googling, but either there is no such thing, or i haven't figured out the right search terms.

i want to make the book as appealing to stores as possible, of course, & not step on any toes of people who have to deal with categories for a living (i remember miss snark, of blessed memory, got really impatient with bright young things inventing their own genre categories). like, if i wrote a memoir, but i'm all postmodern & since all graphic novels are usually treated as fiction anyhow*, i put 1. graphic novels 2. biography/memoir 3. fiction, would that be absolutely horrible?

i have more questions, but i seem to recall the people in publishing here don't usually like to answer newbie type questions. so if there's a place you can point me to, that's fine also.

* researching through my bookshelf, blankets is listed as fiction, & maus & persepolis just give their library of congress listings so i can't tell.

I had one idea, though; maybe you'd want to email someone who specifically publishes comics, like Chris Staros at Top Shelf or whoever at Fantagraphics, and ask for their advice. If they don't want to reply, no harm done.

right on all counts, i think. i'm on friendly terms with some people at both fantagraphics & top shelf, just through my years of congoing (not to mention my years of submitting work for publication), & they are usually very helpful. i just always feel bad pestering them with newbie questions.

i thought i may have picked up a scent when self-publishing for dummies (i know, i know) mentioned bisac subject headings. but while those might prove useful for something, they don't consistently match either the numbered subjects at the front of books, or the brief categorizations that appear sometimes on the back covers of books, near the price or barcode.

actually though, getting out a bunch of graphic novels & trying to find the secret formula has been reassuring, cause it seems no two present the information the same way. as long as i am presenting the necessary information (to buyers & shelvers, about what the book's about), it's groovy. maybe.

yeah, i'll probably repost next week.

Gorgeous stuff.

Tuesday reminded me of that scene in The 5,000 Fingers of Doctor T where they're touring the dungeons, and Terwilliger shows them the poor wretch who's been imprisoned in a giant bass drum while someone beats on it. The roofers wanted to get the entire job done in one day, so they threw a crew of 6 or 8 at it, and went at it like gangbusters (or maybe eardrum busters). The dogs would have gone nuts.

So Wednesday we went to the shelter, and after wanting to take home just about every dog we saw, we found a pair of older dogs who'd been kenneled together. When we took them out for a meet and greet, they were friendly with us, and got along well with each other, so we adopted them.

One's a Lhasa Apso female, about 9 yo, and the other's a Rat Terrier male, who's 6 yo. They're settling in fairly well, though the terrier turns out to be a bolter who can get through our chain link fence in seconds. The good news is that it's not running away, just the urge to explore, because he will come back. The bad news is we live on a busy street, and he doesn't have good car sense, so he's now on a leash whenever we go out, and will be until he's obedience trained.

Neither of these dogs was ever trained in any way as far as we can tell, though they're housebroken and they recognize their names. Worse, the terrier has scars where a harness was put on too tight and left on him all the time, and he flinches from loud voices and criticism. So we have some work to do to win the dogs over (though after only two days they're both willing to cuddle and be petted by us, which is a very good sign).

I'll post more details about them and some pictures on my blog tomorrow. Right now I need some sleep; it's been too long since I had to walk dogs regularly, and these two wore me out today.

Why, only last week (when I was telling him about Quark), one of my colleagues at work said that this would (hypothetically) be a sign of the coming Apocalypse.

Also, did they build a subdivision on top of Ponzi Vineyards, or did we just miss the turn yesterday?

The arabic-numbered list of subjects you see on the verso page of a book are intended for the Library of Congress' Cataloging in Publication program (CIP), described at

http://cip.loc.gov/

The CIP subject terms are generally from the Library of Congress subject headings (LCSH), or, if it's a children's book, from the Library of Congress Subject Headings for children-- the latter set of terms are usually marked off with square brackets.
A searchable catalog of authorized subject terms can be found at

http://authorities.loc.gov/

The LCSH terms can be pretty fine-grained (e.g. "Time travel -- Fiction"). The BISAC subject headings mentioned in an earlier comment are broader categories for areas of a bookstore where books should be shelved for sale (e.g. "Science fiction"). I generally see BISAC subject headings on the back cover of a book, rather than in the CIP section (where LCSH tends to be seen).

Note that you don't have to provide a CIP description on a published book-- if you do give one, libraries will tend to follow your lead on cataloging and shelving; if not, they'll figure out something themselves (which might be different from library to library, though many libraries follow the lead of certain major libraries). So if you're not sure about including the right information, you can leave it off. Or ask a librarian-- anyone with professional librarian training should be familiar enough with the cataloging conventions to at least give you some guidance.

Thanks. We needed to get smaller dogs this time because neither of us is physically capable anymore of giving a large or very energetic dog (like the border collie we had last) the exercise it needs.

The last time we went down to the coast for a day I tried to take a shortcut through part of Tigard to get to 99W. I hadn't been on those back roads in quite a long time, and was astonished (and disoriented) to discover several large subdivisions I'd never seen before. So it's entirely possible that Ponzi has emulated that valley in Lafferty's short story that sucked itself in until, from the outside it was a few inches across.

I bought -- on impulse, from Goodwill -- two VHS tapes of Starlost episodes. Last year. I haven't had the courage to watch them.

That said . . . I think the basic concept, as cooked by by Ellison and Bryant, has considerable merit and could make a great show.

As badly lost as we got in the dark in December, being able to see where one is, once one passes Stafford, isn't necessarily better. I'm really surprised that the fire and police departments don't put their foot down hard on the utter chaos of writhing disconnected cul de sacs and insanely elaborated country lanes which has developed between 217 and Cornelius.

Worse than Bellevue. Worse than everything from Tukwilla to Woodenville. At least Lake Washington and Lake Samammish impose some sort of linear pattern on the mess.

I think instead of "the silicon forest" a more exact lable would be "the silicon termite nest".

JESR, #670, maybe you need a Furminator. Shiva sheds like crazy if I don't use this on him every other day or so, and he no longer hacks up hairballs. Spirit doesn't shed, but she's jealous if I don't give her a few light swipes, too.

Also, the European Starling Wins.

I must have been too enthusiastic this morning on the cat, though, as she appears to have some bald patches in that spot behind the neck where one always begins brushing. Eek! Maybe the real thing doesn't eventually tear the hair out at the roots...

I'd guess we're seeing only about half as much (or less) lying around to vacuum up, and we're cleaning up a lot less hairballs too. Three of the four cats love it and come running begging to be groomed whenever they see it out; the other one tolerates it perfectly well, but is not gaga over it to the same extent.

The furminator doesn't actually pull the hair out; it just grabs the loose undercoat hairs.

My dog loves it and will give belly if she's particularly pleased with the furmination. This means most of the time I can only get one side done at a sitting. I've been trying to start with her 'tocks - that way if she gets too relaxed, at least her fluffiest part gets done.

Did I post this picture of what I combed off of my dog one morning last month?

Pile of Hair

That took about a half hour of determined effort with a "wire bristles on one side, nylon slicker bristles on the other" brush from Safeway. I had to tie Kira up to a railing so she wouldn't go belly-up, her "I surrender, stop it" response to brushing.

For more scale, the pile next to the donor.

I think I just got too enthusiastic with it with the cat this morning. She loves being groomed (touched at all, by anyone, actually--she's an incredibly unpicky cat) and I only stopped once she started complaining...

Via Cheryl Morgan, who liveblogged the ceremony, here are the winners (my first place vote in parentheses, if different from the winner)

Special awards to NASA on its 40th Anniversary, and NESFA Press

Keith Stokes Presents the First Fandom Awards

Hall of Fame Awards to Mike Ashley and Isaac Asimov

The Sam Moskowitz Award for Excellence in Collecting: Frank Robinson and Bob Peterson (tie)

Big Heart Award: Suford Lewis

And now the voted awards

John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer: Mary Robinette Kowal

Best Fanzine: File 770 by Mike Glyer (PLOKTA)

Best Fan Writer: John Scalzi (Steven Silver)

Best Fan Artist: Brad Foster (Taral Wayne)

Best SemiProzine: Locus (NY Review of SF)

Best Professional Artist: Stephen Martiniere

Best Professional Editor, Short Form: Gordon Van Gelder, F&SF

Best Professional Editor, Long Form: David Hartwell (Patrick Nielsen Hayden)

Best Dramatic Presentation, Short Form: "Blink," Dr. Who (saw none of the nominees, didn't vote)

Best Dramatic Presentation, Long Form: Stardust

Best Related Book: Brave New Words, the Oxford Dictionary of Science Fiction, Jeff Prucher (Breakfast in the Ruins, Barry Malzberg)

Best Short Story: "Tideline," Elizabeth Bear ("A Small Room in Koboldtown," Michael Swanwick)

Best Novelette: "The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate," Ted Chaing ("Finisterra," David Moles)

Best Novella: "All Seated on the Ground," Connie Willis ("Memorare," Gene Wolfe)

Best Novel: The Yiddish Policemen's Union, Michael Chabon (Brasyl, Ian McDonald)

Commentary: the Chaing and Willis wins were a given, as was Locus for Best Locus (h/t, Teresa). Several old hands winning after a drought, but the big surprises to me are Stardust and Chabon. I'm betting the former benefitted from a split vote between Heroes Season One and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Check out the photos of our new dogs. Like most dogs, as soon as you try to take a picture, they move, so these are the only really decent shots we've gotten of them so far, even with 2 cameras in different parts of the room.

On a totally different topic, how long does the Fluorosphere think this information can be kept under wraps?

Bruce, those look like some fine dogs.

I will have to check out that Furminator. My Aussie mix sheds enough each spring and fall to make a whole 'nother dog.

On a totally different topic, how long does the Fluorosphere think this information can be kept under wraps?

Bruce, those look like some fine dogs.

I will have to check out that Furminator. My Aussie mix sheds enough each spring and fall to make a whole 'nother dog.

I infer that my friends are either out of the loop on this, extremely honest, or figure I'm extremely honest; certainly, my girlfriend and I are paying our T fares (at the moment, she's getting hers free with a monthly rail pass; I pay per ride when I visit). I don't mind paying the fare, I'm just wondering what subset of the total T-riding population counts as "everyone who rides the trains."

And yes, you've hit one of my pet peeves, an "everyone" that means "everyone like me" for values of "like me" that can be ethnicity (skin color, background, and/or native language), class, tech savvy, gender, political outlook, or "coolness" of the "everyone knows $pop_culture_fact."

MBTA wants to distract attention from endemic incompetence and corruption.

Well, of course: Boston after all. Cambridge, too.

Jompa, the Lhasa, has a few medical problems that we'll have to deal with, but she's beconing affectionate and attentive to us already. And she gets along very well with Spencer. They don't care which food or water bowl they use, as long as they each get fed, and they even switch back and forth on which crate they sleep in, though they've both had a chance to rearrange and get their smell on the blankets. I think they'll do fine.

Put me clearly on the of side of lovers vs. haters in endorsing the Dyson DC17 Animal Cyclone Vacuum. This machine mows it's way through long and short animal hair* like fans at the party suite buffet. The first two or three times you use it, you'll be amazed and kind of grossed out at all the dust/debris that it pulls from the carpets. It's easy to use, lots of accessories, etc etc. Well worth the price.

* Great Pyrenees/English Setter Mix + 2 cats

Also, if I try to go to nielsenhayden.com via Firefox, I get a "page not found" error, while it shows up fine in Opera.

I'm currently using the internet at Wegmans - had the same error while here the other day. I'm not sure if this is a problem if I log on elsewhere.

Anyway, it is a strange problem and I figured you'd want to know, and that the Open thread was the place to share this.

I use Firefox all the time, and currently have at least 10 tabs open on Making Light (and have reloaded 3 or 4 of them this morning), so I suspect this problem is specific to where you're coming from. I have no idea why it would work for Opera and not Firefox, that's weird.

I just walked to a nice little bakery that's around the corner from my house to pick up some lunch and a coffee. To get to the bakery I have to cross a fairly busy but small (two-lane) main road. There's a crosswalk, and while you can't rely on it, people tend to be pretty good about stopping for pedestrians LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO. It's not a hard street to cross by any means.

Today I got to the street, and some jerk in a Jeep drove right past me, after which the road was clear, so I started to cross. When I got halfway across, though, the same jerk in a Jeep (on a cell phone, of course), who had just made an illegal U-turn in the middle of the street, came back the other way, failed to yield to me AGAIN, in the process almost hitting me and forcing me to stand still in the middle of the road with no idea if anyone was coming because my attention was focused on not getting hit by the Jeep.

As he drove past, some recollection that the world outside of his vehicle exists entered his mind, and he noticed I was there. As he did, I gave him what I thought was a pretty restrained palms-up "what're you doing" gesture, along with a good-natured, but loud, "Dude!" I went into the bakery, thinking the incident was over.

But no. As I stood in line, the jerk (now out of the Jeep and off the cell phone, because god forbid you use your cell phone when you're NOT driving) CAME INTO THE BAKERY TO presumably buy some food but more importantly YELL AT ME. I tried to explain the myriad things he had done wrong (failure to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk, illegal U-turn, no turn signal, another failure to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk ALMOST RESULTING IN A COLLISION), after which he shook his head in disbelief and just stared at me like I was both crazy and stupid. And then he did this really ridiculous manly thing where he kind of stood in line aggressively, which I can't exactly describe but which involved standing in a place where it was unclear if he was going to try to muscle in ahead of me when the woman working asked who was next, and where I couldn't avoid seeing him staring at me like a jerk.

Anyway, after staring at me for a while in his aggressive stance, he backed off a little and started going through his money, and I guess he didn't have enough or something because he left. I ordered my (delicious) egg and cheese croissant and my (delicious) coffee, and when they were ready maybe five minutes later, I left.

AND THEN WHILE I WAS CROSSING IN THE CROSSWALK TO GO HOME HE ZOOMED RIGHT PAST ME AGAIN. On his fracking cell phone. I don't think he was even aware that I was there that time.

RRRRRRRGH.

Luckily, on the way home I had an adorable run-in with a pit bull puppy and her extremely friendly and funny owner, so I felt mostly better by the time I started eating, but still. I can't stand jerks.

Sometimes one wishes for a good set of caltrops, doesn't one? Or a nice cave troll.

Myriad is Greek for ten thousand. To use it correctly, map it to "thousand", thus:

"the thousand things he had done wrong" -> "the myriad things he had done wrong"

OR

"thousands of tentacles and one fearful eye" -> "myriads of tentacles and one fearful eye"

What you must never do is use "myriad of", until such a day that the English language has become so corrupted that "thousand of" is correct usage. At which point, if I am not already dead, I shall explode into a myriad tiny gobbets and make myriads of little marks on the walls.

Glad that the puppy experience helped make up for things, at least a little bit!

abi @ 702/703: I have often wondered about "myriad", particularly the structure "a myriad of". Thanks for the explanation. And I always appreciate a good spittle-flecked rant on language abuse!

Syd: Sadly, I'm pretty sure that Rhode Island doesn't have any cell phone-while-driving laws. And yeah, the thing I most regret not saying to him is something along the lines of "Regardless of what anyone may have done wrong in that situation, myself included, you almost hit a pedestrian you should have seen. You need to pay attention to the world when you're behind the wheel of a fast-moving multiple-ton object."

Seriously, glad you didn't get hurt.

You can have a thousand of those chocolate truffles*, but you can't have a thousand of chocolate truffles. Nor yet a myriad of chocolate truffles.

-----
* Well, 998. ethan gets one, and if they're going, I'll have one too, thankyouverymuch.

*Not to worry, the stuff tested out to be non-hazardous (and really - when everybody from the emergency services [Fire|Police|Ambulance] is relaxed and swapping stories with each other, the odds are good that nothing dreadful is going on... it's just -- disconcerting.

"Oh dear, oh dear, here I am all alone with all of these chocolate truffles, and no way to carry them. Whatever shall I do?"

(Fan Summoning ½ spell)

Bruce STM, #683, Cute dogs! They kind of match, too.

Lance, #694, I thought you were talking about a vacuum to use on the pets! No such problem here, no carpet. The cleaning lady comes every other week and she's due Tuesday. I'm starting to get catfurbunnies on the laminate, but I'm willing to wait for her to get them with the dust mop.

ethan, #699, wow, what an idiot! I hope he doesn't drive there often, although if he does, I suppose you could alert the police.

But what do you do if none of the fans in your vicinity like chocolate truffles?

Granted this could be considered a low-probability event...

(*) OK, the sample of the study comprised one single driver, the woman who drove us to ML's party after the masquerade.

On the page immediately previous, a delightful wedding cake with a collapsing top layer, a blowfish cake, and a birthday cake complete with flies and obvious fly-attractant. And there's that appalling baby shower cake that got censored for anatomical correctness...

Adapted from a story by H.P. Lovecraft. A Seattle history professor, drawn back to his estranged family on the Oregon coast to execute his late mother's estate, is reaquainted with his best friend from childhood, with whom he has a long-awaited tryst.

Oh, and Tori Spelling is among the cast.
The horror! The horror!

http://www.tor.com appears to have been haxxored.

Sorry.

Yes, I am looking forward to the squares rant. Why do you ask?

And which
You were probably
Saving fandom with.

Forgive me
It was vulnerable
So Googlejuicy
And unpatched.

I love the pictures of abi with the book!

You know, ethan, that movie is probably better than Highlander 2. As for Cthulhu being in Oregon, Marilee, why not, if we can have a wicker man and human sacrifices off the coast near Seattle?

Oh no! Not the bees! Not the bees!

Cthulhu in Oregon?

You ever spent a rainy season up here? We've got to find something to do!

Serge @717 and other curious souls: I have seen Cthulhu the movie at the Anchorage International Film Festival. I don't think I have ever laughed as hard at anything in my life. In fact, among a certain subset of my friends, "I'm your rough beast," still inspires helpless laughter.

One school of thought holds that the film makers were trying to tell too many stories at once, and as such failed to tell any one story coherently. I, however, maintain that the original intent was to make a lighthearted coming of age/coming out comedy about being the gay son of the chief priest of the Great Old Ones in a small coastal village. Unfortunately, someone involved with the production saw Children of Men one too many times, and decided that the original idea was too much of an upper. Without entirely scrapping the original script, they tried to inject existential and environmental dread (and polar bears nearly overcome with ennui). Fortunately they did not ruin the comedy.

It was seven dollars well spent. But with all that, it was not actually a good movie -- just very very entertaining. I still felt empathy for the director, who was in attendance. He sat through the screening of a film that he obviously loved and believed in surrounded by an audience that howled with laughter every time the movie tried to be affecting.

As for the polar bears nearly overcome with ennui, I find myself thinking of Scott of the Sahara being attacked by a 7-foot-tall tentacled penguin before he knocks it out by using his jockstrap as a sling.

I think my favorite clip in the video I linked to is when he's running around knocking the masks off of children while they yell "Hey!" Or maybe when he punches Kathy Bates. Or, yeah, the bike theft is pretty hilarious. Really, it's hard to choose.

They shapeshift, have several bizarre postures (at least to non-cuttlefish) and the flamboyant variety is poisonous.

lore sjoberg took a break from snarky humour in this week's column to shout-out to yog's law.

ethan, #699: So help me, on the 3rd encounter I would have hit the fender with my fist and yelled (simulating being hit). And then dared him to call the cops about it.

If you can also give me some more detail of the way the web works, it would help. Ad[Thanks]vance.

I called his daughter (who had just left as I came in) and left a message and then when the EMTs came, gave them history. They kept asking me questions and I couldn't stand up anymore, so I pulled a chair to my doorway (didn't want to be on the stoop in the way and fortunately, the cats were terrified and hiding) and sat and answered. They got him on a backboard and then the gurney and took him out to the ambulance. I locked his place up and put a note on the door for his daughter in case she got the message and had already left for the condos and also called her again to leave a message (she told me later she had trouble understanding me, but other people don't seem to) that we were going to the ER. I followed the ambulance, but the nurse had me wait in the waiting area while they got him set up.

His daughter and son-in-law arrived just as they were letting me go in so I went with them to say Hi and when we got there, he was still a little disoriented. He hadn't known why he fell down the stairs here, but he'd remembered by then that he'd gotten up from his recliner and was disoriented and meant to go to the kitchen and instead slipped on the stairs (right across from the kitchen). He held my hand and said Hi and thanks and said he hurt a lot because of the backboard. I explained that he had to stay on that until he was x-rayed and they couldn't give him anything for pain because they might need to do surgery. I joked that there should be something that made us feel better and didn't interfere with surgery. I didn't want to stay and insert myself, so I made sure his daughter had my number and told her I wanted updates and came home. This may be what tips him into assisted living.

Janet and Manny and I are supposed to meet Jo at Union Station tomorrow and I've stood and sat up straight a lot today, but I plan to try hard to get enough rest so I can still go. I'll call Janet tomorrow morning if I can't.

I hope all is well, but you've mentioned your worry for him in your LJ.

Take care.

Wow, you took the best possible care of him and didn't hurt yourself.