It's almost too easy to cast Kaylee as Ado Annie, and too much fun to sing "Poor Jayne Is Dead."

Posted August 5, 2008 9:04 PM by Teresa Nielsen Hayden

I think that Jayne should play Ali Hakim.

The next question being: what is the other main plot that's going on while the crew is putting on Oklahoma!, which will serve as a counterpoint?

Posted August 5, 2008 9:12 PM by James D. Macdonald

Jim (2), obviously, the other plot in parallel with the musical performance should involve a medical crisis on the spaceship. Between rehearsals, people can scramble to diagnose a deficiency disease they've never seen before, and lament the difficulties of replenishing their stores in a galaxy of corrupt and untrustworthy suppliers. I expect that would lead to a performance of "Scurvy with the Fringe on Top?" with the full cast of adulterated lines.

Posted August 5, 2008 9:26 PM by Adrian

Yes! Or if the medical crisis involves one of the performers becoming delirious, pulling on an animal suit, and then running out of the sickbay while receiving an injection, with the hypodermic still sticking into them, they could sing "The Furry with the Syringe on Top".[*]

[*] Credit where credit is due: M. A. Foster for the original bad pun.

Posted August 5, 2008 9:55 PM by Clifton Royston

Or a cast full of unadulterated limes.

Posted August 5, 2008 10:05 PM by Daz

Kaylee Frye as Jud Fry.

Posted August 5, 2008 10:18 PM by James D. Macdonald

If you start with the obvious Kaylee as Ado Annie, then Simon becomes Will Parker, leaving Mal and Inara for Curley and Laurie, which sits wrong, somehow.

I used to play this game with Gilbert & Sullivan operettas and Looney Tunes characters. Mostly because it's fun to imagine Tweety Bird singing "Poor Little Buttercup" or Daffy Duck doing "Tit-willow." (And the classic Elmer Fudd as Major-General.) Bugs Bunny always got the soprano roles because he does drag so well.

I think I tried to put 1994's crop of Olympic skaters into the Les Mis roles, too. I wanted to see those routines.

Posted August 5, 2008 10:35 PM by Rikibeth

If you start with the obvious Kaylee as Ado Annie, then Simon becomes Will Parker, leaving Mal and Inara for Curley and Laurie, which sits wrong, somehow.

I used to play this game with Gilbert & Sullivan operettas and Looney Tunes characters. Mostly because it's fun to imagine Tweety Bird singing "Poor Little Buttercup" or Daffy Duck doing "Tit-willow." (And the classic Elmer Fudd as Major-General.) Bugs Bunny always got the soprano roles because he does drag so well.

I think I tried to put 1994's crop of Olympic skaters into the Les Mis roles, too. I wanted to see those routines.

Posted August 5, 2008 10:35 PM by Rikibeth

Kaylee as Judd only works if you've got Zoe as Curly. Which of course means that Wash is Laurey Williams.

(And I am suddenly minded of the performance of Othello by soldiers of the Fourth Infantry Regiment in Corpus Christi, Texas, in 1845, in which a young Ulysses S. Grant played the role of Desdemona.)

Posted August 5, 2008 10:35 PM by Debra Doyle

Zoe as Curly
Wash as Laurey
Jayne as Annie
River as Jud
Shepard as Aunt Ella
Mal (in drag) as Ali
Simon as Gertie
Inara as Will
Kaylee as Farmer Carnes

Posted August 5, 2008 10:47 PM by Daz

Heh. Fools never differ.

Posted August 5, 2008 10:49 PM by Daz

I swear someone has written exactly this... but now I can't find it. Although I did find a Firefly/Fiddler On The Roof crossover.

Posted August 5, 2008 11:46 PM by Manon

The "type casting" or "too easy" cast:
Curly - Wash
Ado Annie - Kaylee
Will Parker - Simon
Aunt Eller - River
Laurey - Zoe
Ali Hakim - Mal
Andrew - Book
Jud Fry - Jayne
Gertie - Inara
(obviously some of these fit way better than others)
In "actual practice", or "Serenity dynamics", substitute
Ali Hakim - Jayne
Andrew - Mal
Jud Fry - Book
(obviously arguable, else why this thread?)

Posted August 6, 2008 12:05 AM by Don Simpson

Rikibeth, @ #7:

I think I tried to put 1994's crop of Olympic skaters into the Les Mis roles, too. I wanted to see those routines.

I once told someone that they'd never truly understand Les Misérables until they saw it in the original Klingon.

Humans thinking that they can make up a story about honor? Pah! It must have been Klingon.

Posted August 6, 2008 1:40 AM by Dori

Wash plays all nine parts, while manipulating plastic dinosaurs.

Posted August 6, 2008 1:55 AM by Steven desJardins

Aaaah! Curse your sudden but inevitable dance number!

Posted August 6, 2008 7:43 AM by ajay

I think casting Simon as Will based only on the fact that he's Kaylee's love interest is kinda lame.
Zoe would make a good Aunt Eller, though. Simon would do as Andrew ...

Mal as Curly, obviously, but possibly Wash as Laurey.

Or River as Laurey with an entirely new ending where Laurey takes off her pretty pink bonnet and ends Jud when he tries to burn her.

Posted August 6, 2008 8:12 AM by Another Damned Medie

The question is: who plays what roles in Serenity’s production of Oklahoma!?

The mere thought gives me nightmares. If someone sullied my memories of one of the best shows of all time by transforming it into a schlocky musical I might have to take up residence in a clock tower. With or without a high-powered rifle.

Posted August 6, 2008 8:44 AM by Jason B

While I'm not a Firefly fan (I know -- heresy!), I'm curious whether this is meant to play like the lighthearted 1955 movie (with Gordon MacRae, Gloria Grahame, and Eddie Albert) or the darker London revival (with Hugh Jackman)? That would certainly have me shuffling the roles.

Posted August 6, 2008 9:06 AM by Bruce Adelsohn

ajay @ 16: Here, have an Internets. You win.

Posted August 6, 2008 9:29 AM by Ginger

#18 If someone sullied my memories of one of the best shows of all time by transforming it into a schlocky musical I might have to take up residence in a clock tower.

Then you probably don't want to think about the time when Serenity was waiting for cargo and to pass the time the crew put on The Pirates of Penzance. (Kaylee played Mabel and Jayne played the Sergeant of Police.)

Posted August 6, 2008 9:43 AM by James D. Macdonald

#8: Mal/Inara for Curly/Laurie isn't such a bad fit. In both cases, their refusal to admit that they love each other drives the plot.

I don't know if this episode would work though. I mean, if we follow the plot through, at the end, they would have to establish a brand new state, a brand new state. (Or perhaps in bitter counterpoint, they don't.)

As an aside, while Oklahoma is deservedly a landmark of American Musical Theater, the verse to the title song is not Hammerstein's most wonderful lyric.

#18: At least Jim didn't have crew put on Into the Light, the musical about the Holy Shroud of Turin, or Here's Where I Belong, the musical based on Steinbeck's East of Eden. We were all dying to see the "packing and shipping of lettuce" ballet, weren't we?

Posted August 6, 2008 10:21 AM by John Chu

I was thinking the other day about the possibilities of adapting one of the Firefly episodes to a musical. Say, "Trash", for example. Camera pans across the bare landscape and ends up on Mal, sitting on his rock.

MAL: That... went well.

(faces camera, sings)

... That was swell.
Sure, I'm pantless, what the hell!
But I'm going to leave you guessing --
At the moment I'm just messing
With your mind.
'Cause this here's just the teaser --
[glances downward] No, not that, that one's a pleaser! --
But with this the show is open,
And I'm goin' to leave you hopin',
With perhaps some thoughts of gropin'
My behind.
Ain't it fine?

(It might be better to skip the dancing for this part, mind you.)

Posted August 6, 2008 10:37 AM by Joel Polowin

Let us begin by assuming that everyone aboard _Serenity_ has agreed to go along with this, will accept any part, and is at least moderately enthusiastic about the idea. (In "reality", I'd imagine that Kaylee would certainly do it (might even have been her idea), Jayne certainly would NOT do it (too much blackmail potential), and everyone else would have reactions ranging from "bemused by the whole idea" (Mal, Wash) to "too self-conscious to sing" (Simon, Book).)

* Curly McLain: a cowboy, the romantic lead (“O What a Beautiful Morning”)
Dr. Simon Tam. Mal seems like the obvious choice, but I think he's too hard-bitten to be a credible Curly. Simon is a romantic, and I bet he had some musical training in his background.

* Ado Annie Carnes: a young lady, comedy secondary romance (“I Can’t Say No”)

Kaylee is the clear choice here, and I won't depart from it.

* Will Parker: a cowboy, comedy secondary romance (“Everything’s Up To Date in Kansas City”)

Jayne. I can practically hear him singing "Everything's Up To Date in Kansas City".

* Aunt Eller Murphy: an older lady; Laurey’s aunt

I really wanted to cast Book in drag, but I need him to be Andrew Carnes, so... River Tam. A waste of probably the best dancer and singer aboard, but I can't fit her in anywhere else.

* Laurey Williams: a young lady, the heroine (“Many a New Day”)

Casting River would be creepy if Simon is Curly, so... Inara Serra, given careful instructions to be more fresh-faced and less elegant. It's a pity, though, because River as Laurey would make use of River's dancing talent.

* Ali Hakim: a peddler (“It’s a Scandal, It’s an Outrage”)

Wash would do a fantastic, scenery-chewing turn, especially if he re-grows his 'stash.

* Andrew Carnes: a farmer; Ado Annie’s father

Book.

* Jud Fry: Aunt Eller’s hired hand; the villain (“Lonely Room”)

Mal. I think it'd be theraputic for him--wrestling with his dark side as he does--to play the villian.

* Gertie Cummings: Friend to Laurey and Annie; a flirtatious young lady

Zoe would have a blast with this. I can really see her cutting loose and hamming it up.

Posted August 6, 2008 11:30 AM by Nicole TWN

Re: 18 --

Playing in the Serenity cargo hold every Saturday night at midnight:

Kaley as Janet
Simon as Brad
Mal as Frank-n-Furter
Wash as Riffraff
Zoe as Magenta
Inara as Columbia
Jayne as Rocky
Book as The Narrator and Dr. Scott
Featuring River doing "The Time Warp"
Special Guest: a guy with blue gloves as Eddie

Now, now. Put down the gun, Jason. Help me make toast.

Posted August 6, 2008 11:39 AM by Jeff Hentosz

Nicole #24: "too self-conscious to sing" (Simon, Book)

Unless, of course, musical theater is part of Book's sordid and mysterious past.

Posted August 6, 2008 11:41 AM by ethan

25: WANT.

Posted August 6, 2008 12:02 PM by ajay

Jason B #18:

The mere thought gives me nightmares. If someone sullied my memories of one of the best shows of all time by transforming it into a schlocky musical I might have to take up residence in a clock tower. With or without a high-powered rifle.

Ah, so does River play Jason B, or should it be Jayne? (Probably Jayne. River would just kill them with her brain.)

Posted August 6, 2008 12:23 PM by albatross

But wait! Do we know if any of the crew and passengers of Serenity can sing? I'd cast Jayne as Ali Hakim in a minute, if I thought he could handle the part. And the Shepherd as Aunt Eller. But that's just me.

Posted August 6, 2008 12:28 PM by Madeleine Robins

Madeleine @ 29: I don't think we have any evidence either way about whether or not any of the characters can sing. But Nathan Filion can sing.

Posted August 6, 2008 1:03 PM by Joel Polowin

Well, okay. Then Nathan Fillion can play Laurey.

Posted August 6, 2008 1:10 PM by Madeleine Robins

Let us begin by assuming that everyone aboard _Serenity_ has agreed to go along with this, will accept any part, and is at least moderately enthusiastic about the idea.

Let me just say, folks, that being at sea for far less than six months can make far worse ideas than this seem good.

And amateur theatricals among service members have a long tradition (see above, Sam Grant in Corpus Christi). Someday ask me about how amateur theatricals on deployment turned me into an author.

Posted August 6, 2008 1:14 PM by James D. Macdonald

Jim,

How did amateur theatricals on deployment turn you into an author?

Posted August 6, 2008 1:28 PM by abi

Hah! Jayne a weapons specialist! That's like calling a freight train "a car body remodeling specialist".

Otherwise, as proven again recently, Whedon + singing + some dancing == win.

Posted August 6, 2008 1:43 PM by Daniel Klein

How did amateur theatricals on deployment turn you into an author?

I'm glad you asked, Abi!

There we were stationed in the Republic of Panamá (1984-88). The three choices for entertainment on base were alcoholism, adultery, and amateur theatricals. So Doyle and I started writing science fiction instead.

Posted August 6, 2008 2:00 PM by James D. Macdonald

I am trying to envision the production number for "The Farmer and the Cowman", given the background for Serenity and all.

Posted August 6, 2008 2:02 PM by fidelio

So Doyle and I started writing science fiction instead.

Because "authoring" also starts with 'a'?

Posted August 6, 2008 2:35 PM by Joel Polowin

Oh man. This thread brings back happy, happy memories of a late night chat a couple of years ago about how best to turn Serenity into a musical.

My LJ entry on this is flocked, hope you don't mind a repost:

Serenity! The Musical
(with an all-star cast from across the years)

Starring...

Alan Arkin as Mal!
Josephine Baker as Zoe!
Danny Kaye as Wash!
Liza Minelli as Inara!
Kristin Chenowith as Kaylee!
Yul Brynner as Jayne!
Joel Grey as Simon!
Mary Martin of Peter Pan fame as River!
Zero Mostel as Book!
Harvey Fierstein as Mr. Universe!
The New York City Rockettes as the Reavers!

and special guest CAROL CHANNING as... The Operative!

featuring showstopping numbers such as:

Joel Grey's sinister yet sentimental "She Always Loved To Dance"
Carol Channing's chilling rendition of "This Is A Good Death, Dear"
Danny Kaye's energetic "Oh God Oh God We're All Gonna Die" tap dance extravaganza!
The action packed number "Fruity Oaty Bar (Fight)" featuring Alan Arkin, Yul Brynner, Mary Martin, and one thousand elephants! (actual number of elephants limited due to stage constraints)
Yul Brynner's powerful "I Won't Get Et...cetera!"
Alan Arkin and Liza Minelli's touching duet "Dear Buddha"
Mary Martin's haunting solo "Miranda... I just found a place called Miranda..."
Harvey Fierstein and the voice of Julie Andrews in the technoballad "Nevermore, Lenore"
Danny Kaye's poignant song and interpretive dance number "Watch Me Soar"
Kristin Chenowith's strident, stirring performance of "Hell To This I'm Gonna Live!"
The Rockettes' amazing chorus line number "We'll Take Your Ship, Rape You To Death and Sew Your Skin Into Our Clothes (In That Order If You're Lucky!)"
Alan Arkin and Carol Channing's menancing duet "That Ain't Plan A/This Is A Good Death, Dear (Reprise)"

And stay in your seats for the heart-tugging finale "Tore Up Plenty, But She'll Fly True" when the ship itself joins in on the chorus of Josephine Baker's electric song and dance!

Posted August 6, 2008 2:54 PM by Emmy

James D. Macdonald at #21

Then you probably don't want to think about the time when Serenity was waiting for cargo and to pass the time the crew put on The Pirates of Penzance.

Please, sully not my 'Pirates of Penzance' TNG casting.

Picard as the Major-General, Riker as the Pirate King with Geordi as his trusty sidekick, Samuel; Worf (probably being blackmailed into it) plays the Sergeant of Police.

Data *is* Frederick. "Oh is there not one maiden here, whose homely face and bad complexion Have caused all hope to disappear..."

Deanna as Mabel, with sundry con ensigns as the Major-General's various daughters, and Dr Pulaski as Ruth.

Posted August 6, 2008 2:56 PM by pensnest

I'd put Worf as Frederick, "the slave of honour". Adopted away from his birth family, age messed up by temporal anomalies and relativistic travel, etc. Especially after the TNG finale: "You always get me to do what you want by appealing to my sense of honour!" "That's because it always works!"

Posted August 6, 2008 3:29 PM by Joel Polowin

Okay, without reading anyone else's ideas, here's how I'd advise them to do it:

Curly McLain: Mal
Ado Annie Carnes: Kaylee
Will Parker: Simon
Aunt Eller Murphy: Zoë
Laurey Williams: Inara
Ali Hakim: Wash
Andrew Carnes: Book
Jud Fry: Jayne
Gertie Cummings: River

Some of it is typecasting (Kaylee, for instance!) and working with rather than against certain sexual tensions. But the question remains: how many of them can actually sing? And can Simon handle comedy?

Now I'm going to read what everyone else said...

Posted August 6, 2008 4:23 PM by Sylvia Li

Nicole #24: Like this one better than my own!

Joel #23: That just totally wins. Love it.

Posted August 6, 2008 4:37 PM by Sylvia Li

albatross@28: Ah, so does River play Jason B, or should it be Jayne? (Probably Jayne. River would just kill them with her brain.)

If I were to match myself up with Firefly characters I'd call myself a blend of Wash and Jayne. (Wayne?) Since I look a lot more like Jayne, I'd just have to hope that Adam Baldwin has the range to take on some of Wash's personality.

Sometimes I try to kill people with my brain, but all that ever happens is a flag with the word "BANG" pops out of my ear.

Posted August 6, 2008 5:08 PM by Jason B

An easy question for this crowd: who here does not desperately want to see the Whedon/Davies crossover show, Dr. Who-rrible?

(ok, I mostly just want to see the John Barrowman & Neil Patrick Harris duet)

Posted August 7, 2008 12:11 AM by Dori

Ooh. Barrowman and NPH. I'm not sure I could handle that - I'm not sure any of us could, really.

Posted August 7, 2008 12:30 AM by shadowsong

ajay@16: Aaaah! Curse your sudden but inevitable dance number!

"Dance number"? "Dance number"?!

It's a dream ballet, dammit!

So: Who's Agnes DeMille in this whole mishigas?

shadowsong@45: I can't handle Barrowman, period. nnnnggghhh....

Posted August 7, 2008 1:19 AM by hamletta

Speaking of Dr. Horrible who else found that TMBG's 'Mr. Horrible' song instantly invades your head as soon as you hear or think the phrase? For me, it's a vastly stronger earworm than any of the songs from the show.

Posted August 7, 2008 2:14 AM by Clifton Royston

The three choices for entertainment on base were alcoholism, adultery, and amateur theatricals.

Blackadder II!

"But what about the family fortune, Edmund?"

"There isn't one. My father blew it all on wine, women and amateur dramatics. By the end, he was eking out a living doing humorous impressions of Anne of Cleves."

More seriously, it sounds a lot like "Plain Tales from the Hills" or something... life in an Indian hill station c. 1890.

Posted August 7, 2008 4:48 AM by ajay

Jayne: A good (if untrained) tenor, thanks largely to his Mama's all-hands, no-exceptions Saturday-night family sing-alongs.

Inara: Though skilled instrumentally, she's unable to tell if a note she's singing is anywhere close to where it ought to be, standard deviation about four semitones. [I knew a guy who had this odd limitation to his pitch recognition, some years ago.]

Posted August 7, 2008 9:21 AM by Joel Polowin

Dropping back one level of reality, I believe that Jewel Staite, Adam Baldwin, and Ron Glass can sing. Of course there's another question: can their characters sing? It takes a fairly good singer to fake being a bad singer in an entertaining way, so there are some decisions to be made here (Fillion can sing, and I think making Mal a poor-to-middling singer, constantly upstaged by Inara [Baccarin recorded an album; it doesn't suck] would be a funny touch).

Speaking of bad singing, does anyone remember Groucho Marx in The Mikado? Am I conflating two hammy productions together, or was Clive Revell in the same production?

Posted August 8, 2008 1:33 AM by Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers)

Speaking of bad singing, does anyone remember Groucho Marx in The Mikado?

I think my head just exploded.

Posted August 8, 2008 8:47 AM by Jason B

I think Malcom as Jud would be a very good idea; also Jayne likes to _think_ of himself as a mofo with a sense of honour, so his Curley might be great---and I think Jayne would get a kick out of singing "Poor Jud is Dead" to Cap. Reynolds.

Inara _is_ Ali Hakim.

And Groucho Marx as Ko-Ko was a disappointment, perhaps because I kept on being caught up short by the spngs' truncation in the televised/kinescoped production I know.

Posted August 8, 2008 11:23 AM by Michael Turyn

Jewel Staite doesn't even look like she's acting on Stargate: Atlantis. The guy who played head doc before this had character. Her character doesn't.

Posted August 8, 2008 8:01 PM by Marilee

So wonderfully wrong, Emmy @38. But I'm tempted to update to people who are currently living & age-appropriate:
Book should be Brian Stokes Mitchell (why change race?)
I'd cast Audra McDonald as Zoe.
Deven May (Bat Boy) as Simon.
Hunter Foster (Urinetown) as Jayne.
We'll keep Chenoweth as Kaylee.
Roger Bart as Wash.
Lea Michelle (Spring Awakening) as River.
John Lloyd Young (Jersey Boys) as Mal.

I leave the casting of Innara to whoever can make the best suggestion.

We will keep the Rockettes as the Reavers. It will break everyone's brains. Oh, the brain-breaking.

Posted August 8, 2008 8:54 PM by Greg Machlin

@24 I like your picks, but would switch Mal and River's roles, giving:

Curly: Simon
Laury: Inarra
Ado Annie: Kaylee
Will Parker: Jayne
Aunt Eller: Mal
Ali Hakim: Wash
Jud Fry: River
Gertie: Zoe
Andrew: Book

I think with this casting, you could probably do a creditable job with the dream ballet.

Posted August 9, 2008 2:44 AM by janet

Greg Machlin@ 54: I'd cast Idina Menzel as Inara, but the Menzel/Chenowith combination is hell on my mental image of Inara and Kaylee's relationship.

Posted August 9, 2008 2:44 AM by Molly

janet @ 55

Curly: Simon
Laury: Inarra

and Moe?

Posted August 10, 2008 10:36 AM by Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers)

Clifton Royston? Ugliness Men on line 47 for you.

(No, you are NOT the only one, and here we go again, THANK you very much!)

Posted August 10, 2008 2:44 PM by Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little

Bruce Cohen @ 57: and Moe?

To say nothing of Shemp. Poor Shemp. Always forgotten.

Posted August 10, 2008 10:17 PM by Jason B

Clifton @ 47: You're not alone! I've been singing about glasses of milk a whole lot more often than usual, lately.

Everyone else: I've laughed aloud many times reading this thread, thank you all!

Posted August 13, 2008 9:34 PM by Liza