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December 24, 2008

Bad for Christmas
Posted by Teresa at 09:09 AM * 13 comments

Corgi heads. Three of ‘em. Doing old-timey country dancing. In elf suits. It’s a bad, bad thing.

From MaxBass.com, which has all the best music jokes, a gutwrenching O Holy Night, and a disastrous end to Handel’s Messiah.

Never get drunk at a company party. And if you aren’t normally much of a dancer, don’t get drunk and hit the dance floor at your office Christmas party, because there’s always someone who collects trophies: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. You hear me? Always.

Try not to live next to people who think Luke 2:12 reads, “ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger, in the middle of a disco with a synchronized light show.” Not this guy. Definitely not these guys. And this house is almost scary. Why is there a city skyline? Did they get a deal on the animated brass band? And what is that reindeer supposed to be chewing on?

This Christmas illuminations video gets a special award for most clueless voiceover.

Dog: guilty, guilty, guilty.

Comments on Bad for Christmas:
#1 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 09:16 AM:

How about using Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah as a Christmas song?

#2 ::: bentley ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 09:48 AM:

And only three years ago, this was considered "wow." Now, it's almost understated.

(Teresa: the Handel's Messiah link is wonky.)

#4 ::: bentley ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 10:10 AM:

Is it the "When organists mutiny" one? It's back! Thanks.

#6 ::: Julia Rios ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 10:39 AM:

The musical disasters are painful, but not as painful as this version of Jingle Bells with a slide whistle.

#7 ::: MacAllister ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 02:31 PM:

...

I think one of those houses was mine.

*G*

Merry Christmas, Nielsen Haydens, and ML.

#8 ::: CHip ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 09:09 PM:

Has anyone ever tried to portray Peter Shandy's house, from his very first appearance in Charlotte MacLeod's work? Something about an additional electrical service, everything double-locked so it couldn't be tampered with, and him spending a quiet Xmas on a freighter after being pestered for years to contribute to the decorations on the faculty crescent....

Unfortunately, the person who had not just added wires but close to a full-time personal service truck (at a great house at a junction on the Jamaicaway) sold the place some months ago; the new owner has not carried forward the tradition. (Newspaper photographs don't begin to do the place justice; if my web-fu wakes up I'll find a link -- \somebody/ must have posted pictures.)

And at least those choristers \had/ an organ. My concert last week had only piano, because a collection of construction idiocies out in the street ran a crack all the way up/through the altar end of Old South Church (Boston) a couple of weeks ago; the vestrymen (?) were afraid that playing the organ would knock plaster loose around the crack.

#9 ::: Bart ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 09:34 PM:

For so-bad-it's-good holiday music, I'll contribute Jingle Rock Bell.

For sly commentary on the Vegasization of Christmas decorations, here's "50 Kilowatt Tree" by the Bobs. This should be the official song of Jennings Osborne.

For anyone wondering about the real story behind that terrific rendition of "O Holy Night" (thank you for that one in particular, Teresa), here's a site that purports to have the answer. (Short version: a professional music producer, but not a professional vocalist, was goofing around in the studio and doesn't know who made the recording public.) If they're correct, I would identify the mysterious "Steve M." as this fellow.

Merry Christmas, MacAllister, Nielsen Haydens, and other Fluorospherians!

#10 ::: Juli Thompson ::: (view all by) ::: December 24, 2008, 10:06 PM:

Teresa,

The two links at "not these guys" have been taken down by youtube.

(The first "not these guys," not the second "definitely not these guys," if that makes any sense at all.)

The clueless voiceover left me totally gobsmacked. And the tree doesn't look as impressive as they seem to think it is.

#11 ::: B. Durbin ::: (view all by) ::: December 25, 2008, 12:15 AM:

I've always liked this "screwup" version of the 12 Days of Christmas. (The original version is down right now due to a copyright complaint.)

#12 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: December 26, 2008, 06:57 AM:

Juli, I've replaced those broken YouTube links with one to the guy's own website.

Mac, I'm sure I'd like yours. I might even like all of these better when I'm feeling less squashed.

#13 ::: Strata Chalup ::: (view all by) ::: January 02, 2009, 11:55 PM:

I usually love the silly links collections, but the ones of the dancing made me sad. Mostly I saw non-glamorous people having a good time, and being mocked for their lack of perfection. I saw some pretty decent dancers and singers who just happened to be old, or balding, or fat.

Who is the bigger sad sack, the drunken office-party dancer, ineptly having fun, or the sneering cynic on the sidelines, capturing the moment and 'sharing' it on YouTube so s/he can feel superior?

There's a well-known set of trite lines that ends with "and dance like nobody's watching." A few months ago I stayed up in SF at the main office to go out with coworkers to see a band that featured one of our colleagues. The opening act was good, and their act was good. People were happy, smiling, nodding, jigging their shoulders a little, but only a couple dozen of the 100ish folks there were actually dancing. There was room, but maybe it just "wasn't cool"? I danced, and had fun, and didn't care.

Whether at an office party or out at a club, if the dancing is only For The Beautiful People or The Talented People, there'd better be signs. Otherwise this old fat chick is gonna be dancin'.

So there.

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