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February 3, 2009

Cornify
Posted by Patrick at 07:42 PM *

www.cornify.com

Clay Shirky observes: “The internet is done now.”

Comments on Cornify:
#1 ::: Daphne B. ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:02 PM:

Sadly, I lack the technical skill to make this work. Seems like it would be awesome, though. (I have IE7, and I do have Javascript enabled.)

#2 ::: Lauren Uroff ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:03 PM:

Somebody at that website reads BoingBoing!

#3 ::: Steve Downey ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:31 PM:

I'm having Junior High School flashbacks. Sparkles and Rainbows and Unicorns, oh my!

#4 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:49 PM:

But what if you don't like rainbows and/or unicorns?

#5 ::: Mary Frances ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:50 PM:

Oh-my-god. That's scary.

#6 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:53 PM:

And the unicorn's in purple!

#7 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 09:12 PM:

Did you know that the French word for 'unicorn' is 'licorne' (corrupted from Italian word 'alicorno'?

#8 ::: J.K.Richard ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 09:13 PM:

Fragano, fear not, there are many, many ways of defacing the Web...or 'improving' it.

#9 ::: Darlene Marshall ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 09:30 PM:

Is this the part where I claw my own eyes out in horror?

#11 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 10:13 PM:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

#12 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 10:45 PM:

It is with transcendent joy that I find my current browser configuration steadfastly immune to the effects of that website.

#13 ::: Dr Paisley ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 11:04 PM:

That's not right!

No, seriously, the unicorns aren't pooping the rainbows, so that's just not right.

People should do some damn research, grounch, grounch, grumble.

#14 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 11:47 PM:

Does it work on vampire websites?

#15 ::: Mary Dell ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 11:51 PM:

Nick Mamatas shared recently discovered a piece of Twilight fic in which orgasms are referred to as "unicorns."

So this brings me extra EXTRA joy.

#16 ::: Steve Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 12:02 AM:

I love it! No only do I love it for itself, I love it for the hundreds of imitators it's going to spawn.

Wake me when there's a good cthulhu one.

#17 ::: Mary Frances ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 12:31 AM:

Linkmeister @ 6: Oh, that's not all--keep clicking, and you'll eventually get to the sparkly-pink "My Pretty Pony" unicorn . . . brrr.

#18 ::: Lee ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 12:42 AM:

I note with amusement that the first sidebar ad on this page is for an Xlibris book called "Escape of the Unicorn". Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

#19 ::: Soon Lee ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 12:54 AM:

It requires javascript.

#20 ::: Steve Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 12:56 AM:

I predict cornify's servers are going to melt down within 12 hours. Or twenty minutes if BoingBoing mentions this.

#21 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 01:35 AM:

I prefer the tiger cubs in the snow.

#22 ::: Pantufla Milagrosa ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 02:08 AM:

Everyone witness the healing power of unicorns on www.godhatesfags.com!

#23 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 07:12 AM:

15: Ouch. UR DOIN IT RONG.

#24 ::: Sus ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 08:10 AM:

Mary Dell @15

No, no, noooo! You mustn't link to that fic! Someone might accidentally click on it, and then there'll be asploded brains all over the place. My eyes are still bleeding.

#25 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 08:22 AM:

#24: The zombie thread is over there.

#26 ::: Sus ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 08:58 AM:

#25 Er...okay?

#27 ::: Stevey-Boy ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 10:25 AM:

Mary Dell @ 15 That link... My eyes... My coffee... Explanation to coworkers...

I wonder if the euphemism is more apt in Edward's case?

#28 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 10:30 AM:

Mary Dell @ 15... orgasms are referred to as "unicorns."

Masakage Yamagata: Little Takemaru was a problem, but the horse is worse. It can tell. Only the late lord could ride it.
Nobufusa Baba: If the double falls off, everyone will suspect.
Nobukado Takeda: Lord Shingen has been ill. He must refrain from riding.
Masakage Yamagata: Good idea.
Masatane Hara: There are many other problems. We must be careful to keep the late lord's intentions.
Katsusuke Atobe: Tonight he will have to meet the late lord's mistresses. How will he be with them?
Masakage Yamagata: Our master has been ill. He must refrain from riding.

(Kurosawa's Kagemusha)

#30 ::: Velma ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 11:32 AM:

I have just shared Cornify with some of my coworkers. I believe it will be a very giggly day here in the office.

#31 ::: Older ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 11:58 AM:

I guess all y'all ain't seen the Worst! Website! Ever!:

http://www.globalaigs.org/

The Glaucoma Hymn:

Glaucoma, Glaucoma, Glaucoma
Constricting vision slowly
Halted by progress of science
Vision of a world united
Beyond all science knowing

Mercifully, they seem to have removed the sound from the front page since I last "visited."

I think this site would really benefit from having unicorns. And sparkles.

#32 ::: Kathryn Cramer ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 01:04 PM:

UNICORNS & RAINBOWS INVADE MARS!!!!

Put the Cornify bookmark in your browser bar and then go to http://www.google.com/mars/. Then click the Cornify link a lot.

#33 ::: Charlie Stross ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 02:10 PM:

Novalis @29: damn it, someone with a time machine has obviously gotten to my unicorn life-cycle story before I've written it. (As hatched on the spot at last year's worldcon, when I happened to be sitting at the same bar table when John Scalzi tried to sell Lou Anders on a theme anthology about Unicorn Bukake.)

#34 ::: Ken Brown ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 03:25 PM:

Curse you, Captain Cornify!

For the first time in years my inner music track is playing the Hampsterdance!

Am I doomed?!

Do I have to listen to the Ballad of Little Musgrave another ten times to make it go way?

#35 ::: Michael ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 03:49 PM:

Everyone knows that Jedi Knights are really Unicorns.

This is the worst website I know, starting with the basic concept of "a picture of text" and ending with the content.

#36 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 04:05 PM:

Does anybody else remember the zombie unicorns in Ridley Scott's Legend? Okay, they weren't really zombies, but, after Tim Curry's minions hacked their horns off, they fell dead and remained so until Tom Cruise grabbed the horns back and put them back on their foreheads without using Crazy Glue.

#37 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 04:46 PM:

My former favorite candidate for worst web site turned out to be an art project.

Hurray for the Internet Archive Wayback Machine!

#38 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 04:53 PM:

Essay question: compare and contrast Amanda Palmer's song video in PNH's Particles and the Cornify website, with particular attention to the use of satire in each. You will be graded on spelling, punctuation, and sense of humor. Neatness counts.

#39 ::: novalis ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 06:02 PM:

Charlie Stross @#33, I would buy novel that even though I have already been spoiled for it.

#40 ::: Karen ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 08:45 PM:

This sentence fragment "I happened to be sitting at the same bar table when John Scalzi tried to sell Lou Anders on a theme anthology about Unicorn Bukake" is a complete story all by itself. Is that microfiction contest still going on? 'Cause even if it's true, it should win.

#41 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 09:46 PM:

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn

#42 ::: MaryL ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 11:22 PM:

The direct link to the Glaucoma Hymn:

http://www.worldglaucoma.org/Download/forcedownload.php?file=Hymn.wma

If you click the link in the lower right corner of the first page, it leads you there.

#43 ::: Paula Lieberman ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 12:11 AM:

(the verse daemon rouses itself...)

Zombie unicorn ate my brain,
'ware be ware the Choosers of the Slain!
Zombie unicorn ate my brain,
That damn website's got a lot to explain!

Sparkly rainbows and purple beasts,
Even worse than infectious yeast,
Zombie unicorn ate my brain,
That damn website has a lot to explain!


#44 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 07:51 AM:

40: "I did two things on my seventy fifth birthday. I put flowers on my wife's grave. Then I tried to sell Lou Anders on a theme anthology about Unicorn Bukake. Then I joined the Army. Three things. I did three things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I put flowers on my wife's grave, tried to sell Lou Anders on a theme anthology about Unicorn Bukake, joined the Army, and taped bacon to my cat. Four things. Among the activities I engaged in on my seventy-fifth birthday are... oh, sod it, I'll come in again."

-- Michael Palin as Cardinal Scalzi in "Old Man's Spanish Inquisition"

#45 ::: Cadbury Moose ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 08:16 AM:

ajay @ 44:

I read that as "Squamous Inquisition".

(Our weapons are Fear, Surprise, Eldritch Tentacles, and a large barrel of Blasphemous Ichor.)

Plus chocolate, of course.

Cadbury.

#46 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 09:19 AM:

Sus @ #26:

If that's puzzlement about the purpose of Jon Meltzer's suggestion, I read it as "Post the link in the zombie thread - to them, brains-all-over-the-place is a good thing".

("Braaaaaains!")

#47 ::: mds ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 03:21 PM:

This sentence fragment "I happened to be sitting at the same bar table when John Scalzi tried to sell Lou Anders on a theme anthology about Unicorn Bukake" is a complete story all by itself.

If nothing else, some variant of it should be the opening for the next Laundry story.

And you know, every time I find myself getting vaguely irritated by Clay Shirky again, he up and makes observations like that.

#48 ::: hamletta ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 02:48 AM:

I just temped for a local religious institution's educational wing, and everything for those poor chirrens was done in Comic Sans.

During my brief tenure, I changed what I could, but there's so much out there!

I made sure to tell my permanent replacement that Comic Sans is an abomination unto the Lord. I think/hope she'll get it, since she's a costume designer by trade, and therefore not visually retarded.

#49 ::: David Goldfarb ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 04:43 AM:

Shall we designate a thread for font creebing? I can recall one about Trajan sometime back. My current pet peeve is Papyrus, which is not a bad font, but right now is enormously overused.

#50 ::: Sus ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 08:30 AM:

Paul @ 46

Ah. Cheers. :) I'm not re-posting that link, though. It's dangerous for people, even if the braaaaaiiiins-reliant community might appreciate the, er, fall-out. Hur hur.

#51 ::: Mez ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 11:38 AM:

The original example from Chaos theory was that the way a butterfly's wings flapped in one country might eventually cause a cyclone in another, so by no means are only pleasant outcomes expected from the stories — 'For the want of a nail' — is that little proverb/ aphorism/ anecdote/ (non)rhyme known in the USA?

Terry's battlefield butterflies reminded me of Chris Clarke's post on Creek Running North from 2005 about Vanessa cardui, the Painted Lady, migrating. The original link seems to have succumbed to the effluxion of time, so this link is to my Anzac Day post, including an extract from it.

#52 ::: Older ::: (view all by) ::: February 07, 2009, 12:02 AM:

MaryL (#42): Back in the Dark Ages, when I discovered this website, you didn't have to click on the link to hear the godawful Glaucoma Hymn; it started up without any action on the viewer's part when the page was opened.

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