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April 14, 2009

Help Wanted: Wolfman
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 12:25 AM * 17 comments

There’s a steady paycheck in it.

There’s this place called Clark’s Trading Post in Lincoln, New Hampshire. They’re open Memorial Day through Columbus Day with all kinds of Fun Touristy Things To Do, starting with watching the trained bears (we make our own fun up here). They’ve got a fun house. They’ve got a wood-fired narrow-gauge live-steam railroad you can ride. Off through the woods.

In those woods lives the Wolfman, who rides around in an old car, shakes his fist at the train, and generally capers about. He’s an interpretive actor with a bushy beard and long hair, dressed in pelts … and the old Wolfman is retiring (health reasons) after fifteen years. The job of being a Stereotypical New Hampshire Eccentric is now open.

Pay’s twelve bucks an hour, forty-eight hours a week, outdoors in all weather, late spring through early autumn. There’s an open casting call this coming Saturday (April 18th) at the Lin-Wood School in Lincoln. Ten a.m. to two p.m.

Wolfman video.

Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture.

Comments on Help Wanted: Wolfman:
#1 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 01:54 AM:

What, no WolfWoman need apply? That's very parochial.

#2 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 02:26 AM:

I should pass the job listing on to Vili the Warrior. His behavior has toned down quite a bit since that story was written in 2004.

#3 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 03:04 AM:

I don't think I can manage the commute.

Jim, you realise you will have to report on the results.

#4 ::: Peter Darby ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 04:19 AM:

... do they pay a relocation fee?

#5 ::: Jim Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 09:21 AM:

WolfWoman? Sure, why not? "Male" isn't one of the requirements in the job description. You have to be "willing" to grow a beard -- it doesn't say how successful you have to be.

#6 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 09:27 AM:

What? Marv Wolfman quit that job?

#7 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 11:33 AM:

As they say in the commercials "In this economy" I might consider it, but the cold would get to me. I've become a west coast wimp.

#8 ::: Perle_Rare ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 12:23 PM:

They ought to advertize it as the best job in the world, announce a world-wide contest, accept a ridiculous number of applications and then make a huge hoopla about the selection process.

Unless the entire world knows about it, how can they ever be sure they found the "best" candidate?

Isn't that the way things are done nowadays?

#9 ::: Falconer ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 01:36 PM:

I got an A- in Authentic Frontier Gibberish in college, but New Hampshire is an awful long way away.

#10 ::: John Farrell ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 02:08 PM:

Awesome! Good ol' Clark's. Back in the 1970's we used to think the poor bears were drugged.

#11 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 07:03 PM:

Those bears are besotted on ice cream cones.

#12 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 07:50 PM:

All equipment needed for the job can be found on by searching for "girl scout cookies".

Since this reminds me of something from another current thread, I have to ask: Do the job duties include treating hemophiliac royalty?

#13 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 07:58 PM:

Does the job entail being called Jack?

#14 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: April 14, 2009, 10:26 PM:

They should have several prospective wolfmen fight it out and make it a reality TV show.

#15 ::: Michael Roberts ::: (view all by) ::: April 16, 2009, 11:40 AM:

Surely you don't stand there yelling for the entire day -- you get to go into your hut when there's no train, right? So is there broadband in there?

I always thought being a gate guard with broadband would be the perfect job. You'd have a guaranteed base income just for sitting there, plus whatever you earned from working online. And since I sit in this damned chair for about fourteen hours a day anyway, it'd just be free money.

#16 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: May 03, 2009, 02:54 PM:

I have heard from my friends in Lincoln that only twelve people showed up for the audition.

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