Take a bag of frozen steak fries. Bake them in the bottom of a casserole pan until nearly done.
Take a mess of boiled ham, cut into ¼” cubes. A mess of green onions, finely sliced, stems and all. A red pepper, chopped, with seeds and stuff discarded. A pound of bacon, fried and crumbled (or cut up with kitchen shears, if that’s the way you roll).
Divide the ham, onion, pepper, and bacon into two equal piles. Sprinkle one pile over the potatoes. Pour on one bottle of Cheez Whiz, nuked enough to make it pourable. Spread the cheese-like material out over the potatoes and stuff.
Take the other pile of chopped stuff, and sprinkle on top of the Cheez Whiz.
Bake until it’s all hot and friendly (350°F for thirty minutes or so).
Serve with sour cream.
Listen to your arteries scream.