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October 19, 2009

Seasonal Poetry
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 10:02 PM *

Sneezin’ and coughin’ isn’t … much fun
I fought the germs and the … germs won
I fought the germs and the … germs won

I need a tissue but I … got none
I fought the germs and the … germs won
I fought the germs and the … germs won

My joints are creakin’ and I feel so bad
A fever has begun
Well, that’s the worst feelin’ … I’ve ever had
I fought the germs and the … germs won
I fought the germs and the … germs won

(Instrumental Break)

Swallowin’ Advil by the … net ton
I fought the germs and the … germs won
I fought the germs and the … germs won

Some little virus made a … home run
I fought the germs and the … germs won
I fought the germs and the … germs won

My joints are creakin’ and I feel so bad
A fever has begun
It’s the worst feeling … I’ve ever had
I fought the germs and the … germs won
I fought the germs and the … germs won


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Comments on Seasonal Poetry:
#1 ::: thomas ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 10:24 PM:

Well, if you will set off a full immune response for a few little rhinoviruses, you got to expect some collateral damage. No mercy will be shown to any cells that have been reading subversive unauthorised RNA. There's no Guild of Radical Militant Librarians to protect you here, and the T-cell doesn't need a search warrant to read your MHA.


#2 ::: thomas ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 10:38 PM:

D'oh. MHC, not MHA.

#3 ::: elise ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 10:48 PM:

Sorry to hear it, Jim, if this song is first-person. Hope you feel better soon.

#4 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 10:52 PM:

No, I'm perfectly fine. Someone else, in another place, inspired this, and who am I to let a good parody go to waste?

#5 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 11:16 PM:

I, on the other hand, am enjoying the pleasures of Advil, Tamiflu, and Zithromax this week. $#%^!

#6 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 11:22 PM:

I'm glad I don't have anything. We finished our Renaissance Festival season with a bang, and a lot of cold, wet weather until the very last day, Between losing a bit of weight and having enough under-clothes, I managed to dress nice and appropriately for the weather. (losing enough weight that my good, period clothing looked okay with the padding...)

I have often gotten ill when the seasons change because folks come out without concern about their own health. AND we used to have a fall convention at a hotel with an, well, questionable atrium. The supports were all wooden, and when all was said and done, they had to condemn that atrium/pool/hot tub area because all the wood was seriously rotten due to the water.

The con moved to a successful spot, though it isn't as much fun as the open atrium hotel. On the other hand, I don't get sick anymore after that convention, so I love the change.

#7 ::: HP ::: (view all by) ::: October 19, 2009, 11:38 PM:

"I had a little bird and it's name was Enza.
I opened up the window and in flew Enza."

Has anybody smarter than me been looking at the mortality rate versus the infection rate for H1N1 Swine Flu (2009)? I start to, and then I get scared, and then I read that ICUs are running out of beds.

If it's not on the news, it didn't really happen, right?

Happy Halloween.

#8 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 01:38 AM:

For the record, the song being parodied is "I Fought the Law," by the Bobby Fuller Four. I don't think they ever had another hit.

(Done without Googling, which says something about the junk I carry around in my brain.)

#9 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 04:02 AM:

Note that albatross's comment @5 was held in moderation, which delayed my sincere expression of sympathy.

#10 ::: Anna Feruglio Dal Dan ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 05:05 AM:

Thank you Jim for inspiring me to go back to my roots! Now I have the Clash playing on my computer.

I didn't even know that it wasn't theirs, but you also inspired me to dip into Wikipedia with what threatens to be a morning swallowed up by the Wikisink again.

"I Fought the Law" is a much-covered song originally recorded by Sonny Curtis and The Crickets (post Buddy Holly) in 1959. The song was famously covered by Bobby Fuller Four, who recorded a more successful version of the song in 1965, and by The Clash, who performed and recorded a punk rock version in 1976 and 1977.

Just as the song became a top ten hit, Bobby Fuller was found dead in a parked automobile near his Los Angeles, California home. The police considered the death an apparent suicide; "just about everyone who knew him disagreed",[1] however, believing instead that Fuller was murdered.

The Dead Kennedys, in particular, wrote and recorded a different version as a comment on Dan White's 1978 murder of San Francisco mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor Harvey Milk, and White's subsequent use of the "Twinkie defense" to influence the court to convict him of the lesser charge of manslaughter. The song, sung from White's perspective, replaced the line "I fought the law and the law won" with "I fought the law and I won".

In 1989 during Operation Just Cause, when the U.S. Army had Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega confined to the Papal Nunciature, the Vatican's Embassy, and were attempting to flush him out. U.S. Army PSYOPS Units surrounded the compound and used several psychological tactics including flood lights and loud speakers. They played music like "I Fought the Law" loudly and repeatedly from the loudspeakers. The Bobby Fuller Four version of this song is ranked #175 on Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

#11 ::: Mike Leung ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 07:51 AM:

When I think of fluorescent lights... bathroom lights
The curtains undrawn, whincing in the sunrise-glair
Prima donna lord you really should have stayed there
Instead of dragging yourself in to slump in your swivel chair
And its one more sneeze I don't want to hear from you anymore
We've all gone crazy lately
Co-worker stomachs rolling round the basement floor

"And someone wipe my nose tonight -- chicken soup"
You almost had your hooks in me didn't you dear
You nearly had me roped to drive you home
Bedside-bound, hypnotized
Sweet freedom whispered in my ear
"You're a butterfly
And butterflies get taken home by
Home by cab, tip the hack, bye-bye"

...

"Someone wipe, someone wipe, someone wipe my nose tonight
Someone wipe my nose tonight
Someone wipe, someone wipe, someone wipe my nose tonight
Someone wipe my nose tonight..."

#12 ::: dcb ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 08:06 AM:

HP @ 7: where are you getting your reports from? I recommend looking at WHO rather than newspaper reports. Their report for 15th October states: "As of 11 October 2009, worldwide there have been more than 399232 laboratory confirmed cases of pandemic influenza H1N1 2009 and over 4735 deaths reported to WHO." It goes on to point out that most milder cases are not counted individuals, so the actual case count is much higher - making the mortality rate per infected individuals much lower. Points which are of concern are the high risk of developing severe disease in infants under one year of age and the relatively high percentage of people with severe disease who do not have severe underlying (preexisting) medical problems (particularly health young adults). There has also been full occupancy of ICU beds in some regions.

On the plus side, influenza rates in the Southern Hemisphere have now returned to normal (below baseline).

Summarised from: http://www.who.int/csr/don/2009_10_16/en/index.html

I'm glad that I appear to have only a normal seasonal cold, mainly manifesting as a sore throat, and that even that mostly held off until after I ran my half-marathon the Sunday before last. Still wish it would go away.

#13 ::: Cynthia Wood ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 08:29 AM:

We're currently trying to decide whether or not to get our sons the H1N1 vaccine - their school having just sent a form that allows them to get it at school. I'm as pro-vaccine as they come, but both boys are healthy little buggers (9 & 11), and #1 son is needle-phobic, so getting poked is rather more traumatic for him than most kids. I find myself reluctant to add two more needle sticks to his set for the year, when his pediatrician just told him he was done with vaccines until college. We don't generally bother with seasonal flu vaccines, and thus far neither child has ever gotten more than a very mild case of the flu.

Decisions, decisions.

#14 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 08:36 AM:

When I took my wife to the ER in the middle of the night last week, there were quite a few people in the waiting room, and some were coughing. I minimized how much touching I needed to do.

#15 ::: OtterB ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:16 AM:

Cynthia Wood @13 Do they offer the FluMist nasal version? I have a somewhat needle-phobic kid with developmental disabilities and imperfect hygiene (as in, she sticks her fingers in her mouth all the time and therefore exposes herself to whatever is going around). FluMist has been my solution for seasonal flu for several years and is what she'll get for H1N1 as well.

#16 ::: thomas ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:54 AM:

HP,dcb:

My monkey brain's irrational preference for personal news makes me note that colleagues who work at the big hospital in town are seeing just the same as the WHO reports. There are somewhat more very sick people than in a usual flu season, and a higher proportion of them are young and previously healthy. They aren't currently in any danger of running out of beds or nurses or doctors, though.

#17 ::: Mike Leung ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 10:38 AM:

I, I love the color the packaging wears
And the way the sunlight swirls in the syrup that it bears
I hear the sound of a gentle slurp
Fight the urge to lick inside the plastic cup

I'm pickin up my cold medications
It gives me expectorations
I'm pickin up my cold medications
It gives me expectorations
Good, good, good, good -- 'spectorations

#18 ::: Steve C. ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 10:57 AM:

I put on my Facebook status today: Sneezin' and snifflin' and hawkin' and coughin' and droppin' my g's.

#19 ::: B. Durbin ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 11:01 AM:

The FluMist version of the H1N1 vaccine is already available*, whereas it's going to be a few more weeks before the shots come out. Alas for me, none of my immediate family is eligible (pregnant, asthmatic, and under 2 are the categories.)

I've gotten my regular flu shot and will be taking Gareth in today to get his.

The researcher who figures out a non-egg method of making flu shots is going to be very popular very quickly.

*"Available" means, naturally, that pretty much all of the current doses have been distributed.

#20 ::: Theophylact ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 11:13 AM:

Winter is icumen in,
Lhude sing Goddamn.

#21 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 12:54 PM:

I would have preferred the swine flu vaccine being available a couple weeks ago, personally. I gather it (in the flumist form) was available for select groups around here last week, from the county health department, but no doctor's office has it yet.

#22 ::: LauraRunkle ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 01:34 PM:

Had stealth flu last week. It took a break, and now have classic flu redux.

All my sneeze are loud
and my mien is gray
I'm doubled by a cough
on an autumn's day

I'd be safe and warm
if the shots had been this way
influenza dreamin'
on such an awful day

#23 ::: Cynthia Wood ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 02:12 PM:

@OtterB - The school does not offer the FluMist (or at least doesn't say so), but I'll talk to his pediatrician and see if I can get it that way - thanks for the idea!

#24 ::: Nix ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 04:09 PM:

I too just have a normal seasonal cold.

Unfortunately it's my fourteenth this year (I think: I may have missed a few).

#25 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 04:15 PM:

#11, Elton John, "Someone Saved My Life Tonight"
#17, Beach Boys, "Good Vibrations"
#22, Mamas and Papas, "California Dreamin'"

Hmm. From this song selection, the demographics skew towards the 35-59 crowd.

#26 ::: David Harmon ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 05:22 PM:

Got my regular flu shot today. According to the doctor, they're still saving the H1N1 shot for the front-liners at the hospital (he made a point of saying that it wasn't everyone at the hospital). According to my Mom, my stepfather (70yo) is, however, getting nudged to take it.

#27 ::: Mark ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 06:11 PM:

Another dawn is breaking
Body shaking all over
With the sneezing
Hacking, wheezing
Sleep is undiscovered

And my working team
Sounds like 1918
Stay in bed
Stay in bed
They are whining
With their sniffs
And their coughs
And their coughs
And their aches
Don't come in
Don't come in
You're contagious

Stay in bed
Stay in bed
Zombie, zombie, zombie....

#28 ::: B. Durbin ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 06:35 PM:

Got my H1N1 shot today when I took in the boy— they'd just received it this morning. (He'll get a second dose in a month; kids under 2 need two doses.)

You know, funny thing about Bobby Fuller— there's a blog I read, where the poster's half-brother is Bobby's kid. As his mother was thirteen at the time, it was a big scandal... and his grandfather sometimes claimed to be the guy who killed Bobby Fuller. (Unfortunately, that particular post is 404'd. Pity, that.)

The case was officially left unsolved, as a possible suicide, but one wonders if the police knew or suspected and didn't follow up. (It wasn't the first time Mr. Fuller had a bit of a problem with underage girls, so it might have even been somebody else's dad.)

#29 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 06:47 PM:

Everybody's coughing at me
I won't get the flu inside me
Cause I got the H1N1 jab.

People stop and sneeze
I can't see their faces
only the whiteness of their masks

I'm going where the public health is
on everybody's brain
Goin' where the customs suit my health
Bankin' on that herd protection
Bailin' from that bad disease
Skippin' over the swine flu 'cause immume.

Everybody's coughing at me
I won't get the flu inside me
Cause I got the H1N1 jab.


#30 ::: Kayjayoh ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 07:37 PM:

Maybe this helps explain why I haven't been able to get the song "Chicken Soup with Rice" out of my head.

(Well, that and my 2.5 y/o nephew really likes the Nutshell Kids songs.)

#31 ::: Angiportus ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 08:31 PM:

Does anyone know offhand, in Pugetropolis, if over 50 and sleep apnea qualify a person for the H1N1 shot? [will check local sources in a while]

#32 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 08:51 PM:

re "Operation Just Cause"

Just once, I'd like to see a military adventure named something literal like "Operation Cynical Rationalization".

#33 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:22 PM:

Check weather report,
Will there be frost tonight?
Annuals inside.

#34 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:33 PM:

When it's cold at the
Head of the Charles Regatta
no-one dumps their boat.

Cold rowers at the
Head of the Charles Regatta
just want to finish.

#35 ::: Caroline ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:36 PM:

I've got H1N1 flu, I've got H1N1 flu
I've got H1N1 flu, I've got H1N1 flu.

But it's gonna take fluids
A whole lot of sipping fluids
It's gonna take plenty of fluids
To do it right, child.

And I'm gonna take Advil
The maximum dose of Advil
To keep that fever down
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right, child.

I've got H1N1 flu, I've got H1N1 flu
I've got H1N1 flu, I've got H1N1 flu....

(N.B. When I had Probably Swine Flu, ibuprofen did nothing at all and only acetaminophen kept the fever down and made the awful body aches go away. So YMMV. Advil scanned better.)

#36 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:56 PM:

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

That shows me
they were dangerous
frozen
and solid

#37 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 09:59 PM:

I've eaten the plums
from your refrigerator
very delicious

#38 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 10:09 PM:

I'm doing daily caring for a person with terminal cancer. I am trying to figure out where I can get the shot cheapest.

#39 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 10:26 PM:

Earl Cooley III @ 32: It's all in the punctuation. "Operation Just 'Cause".

#40 ::: David Harmon ::: (view all by) ::: October 20, 2009, 11:27 PM:

Joel #39: Oh, I am so stealing that! ;-) It's even pronounceable!

#41 ::: Sarah S. ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 09:31 AM:


The Sniffle

In spite of her sniffle,
Isabel's chiffle.
Some girls with a sniffle
Would be weepy and tiffle;
They would look awful,
Like a rained-on waffle,
But Isabel's chiffle
In spite of her sniffle.
Her nose is more red
With a cold in her head,
But then, to be sure,
Her eyes are bluer.
Some girls with a snuffle,
Their tempers are uffle,
But when Isabel's snivelly
She's snivelly civilly,
And when she's snuffly
She's perfectly luffly.

--Ogden Nash

#42 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 09:40 AM:

#27, The Cranberries, "Zombie"
#35, George Harrison, "Got My Mind Set on You"
#36, ... wait, wait, don't tell me, it's on the tip of my tongue...

#43 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 09:45 AM:

One, two
One, two, three

Wake up kids
We’ve got the piggies’ disease
At you age it gets you down on your knees
So polite, you cover up when you sneeze

You’ve got the influenza in you
Don’t let go
You’ve got the influenza in you
One pill left
Not sure you’re gonna pull through
Don’t give up
You got a reason to live
Can’t forget
If you don’t get it you can’t give

This whole damn world can fall apart
You’ll be OK, we have a crash cart
You’re in harms way and I’m right behind
Now we’re all dyin’

You’ve got the influenza in you
Don’t let go
You’ve got the influenza in you
One pill left
Not sure you’re gonna pull through
Don’t give up
You got a reason to live
Can’t forget
If you don’t get it you can’t give
Don’t let go
I feel the fever in you


#44 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 09:58 AM:

Footnote:

Like Linkmeister @ #8, I got Jim's without Googling; but these two, although I recognised them without assistance, I needed to Google to find out what they were called.

"Zombie" is the song I've known for years as "that one Cranberries song I always recognise but have no idea what it's called". I was rather surprised to learn the title; I wasn't sure what that repeated word in the refrain was, but 'zombie' wouldn't have been in my top five guesses.

The other one, it might not actually be true to say I recognised - having Googled it, I suspect that what I really recognised was the Weird Al Yankovic version.

#45 ::: JCarson ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 10:15 AM:

@Paul A. #44 - THANK YOU! I could not figure out how I sorta-kinda-halfway knew "i've got my mind set on you" and yet all the words were new. Your Weird Al link has made it all clear.

#46 ::: Sarah W ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 12:54 PM:

You may think it's funny
To joke and get all punny
When your nose is runny--
But it's snot.


My 2-year old is just coming out of a documented case of H1N1--she was diagnosed about halfway through what we and our ped. (originally consulted over the phone) thought was a pernicious bout of croup.

She's fine now, except for the requisite, lingering ear-infections and some fatigue, thought the adults of the family are still reeling from serial sleep loss.

So far, the rest of us are okay, but both my 6-year old and I had a sneezing contest this morning . . .

#47 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 03:15 PM:

Earl Cooley III: If you let the planners' names get used, they have names like, "Lemon Drop" and "Snowball".

Just Cause was Blue Spoon but one of the Joint Chiefs decided that wasn't the sort of thing people would want to be known for having been in (recall this was going to be the largest combat operation since Viet-nam; and the first Combat Jump for the Airborne since 1972).

#48 ::: dlbowman76 ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 03:31 PM:

I never meant to catch the bloody flu,
This pox has got me down - it's true.
My tonsils and my adenoids
Are now the size of asteroids...

My breath is a portend of doom
I cough and colleagues flee the room.
The snot is flowing down my face
And not a bloody tissue in this place...

It was the grippe of the moment
Coughing my bloody lungs out -
The grippe of the moment - I'm back off to bed.

But no, for sleep eludes me still,
I've lots of evening left to kill.
My aches and pains, a constant friend -
Oh God..."Will this never end?"

Cause it's the grippe of the moment
the grippe of the moment
the grippe of the moment ruined my night...

The rest, the soup, the medications all -
Frankly have done me bugger all.
The dawn is coming, nothing to be done
Oh God here comes the f***ing sun...

It was the grippe of the moment
The grippe of the moment
The grippe of the moment ruined my night.

#49 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 04:36 PM:

David Harmon @ 40: I don't think the joke is original with me, but I don't know how one might trace it. The usual search engines ignore punctuation like that.

#50 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 04:37 PM:

Terry @ #47, Better Just Cause than Market Garden, methinks.

#51 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 04:50 PM:

The lyrics from the computer game Portal song Still Alive can be applied to the flu season pert near without change.

#52 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 05:11 PM:

Joel Polowin @ 49:

I remember hearing the joke about "Just 'Cause" during the operation itself. I've got to say, the Bush administrations have given us some very ambiguous names for military operations. Consider also Operation "Enduring Freedom". I took it to mean, "Those wogs are going to endure the freedom we give them whether they like it or not".

#53 ::: Paula Lieberman ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 05:36 PM:

On the last side with this more, the more to regret it....

It's a world full of viruses
And ill-health
Where Ruplithugs want
Heathcare only for wealth-y
A world of no hope
It's a world full of fear
There's so much that we share
H1N1-aware
We've a worldwide plague.

It's a small world after all
(Influenza!)
It's a small world after all
(Influenza!)
It's a small world after all
And we all could die!

There are lots of viruses
Which spread fast
And this new swine flu strain
Won't be outclassed
Hop a plane and go
And in two days' show
It's a niggardly small world!

It's a small world after all
(Let 'em die!)
It's a small world after all
(No money, why bother?!)
It's a small world after all
(Influenza!)
It's a small, small world
(And greedy one, too....)

#54 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 05:51 PM:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Must be winter's dead
I've a nasty flu

#55 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 06:48 PM:

I should be able to get the H1N1 vaccine (needle because I have chronic illnesses and am 54), but Kaiser doesn't have any yet. When I saw my primary today, the center had a sign up saying if you were there to get your regular flu shot, you could get your mammogram, too. I already had both, at different times, so I just got x-rays of my left forearm to send to ortho before I see them. The primary thinks it's tendenitis and I need a steroid shot.

#56 ::: Paula Lieberman ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 06:51 PM:

It snowed in mid-October
With pears still on my tree
A world of white snuck in at night
In autumn should not be,
And with the ice and snow comes chill
And with bad weather flu,
And viral advertising claims that's true--

Now there's that vaccine being made
In batches late and small
And looking out the window now
It might be back to fall,
But with the weather bad last week
And with that snow the freeze
The world is full of nose drips, coughs, and sneeze--

And spread around H1N1
And sick the people get
But in the Congress hear the pols
Who speak with no regret
Healthcare's no right and should no be
Replicans all say,
I guess they want us dead and gone away--

And we who watched with horrror
Back eight years ago and more,
The lies were spreading thick and fast
To start an unjust war
A rathole with a million dead
And trillions wasted--why
As neocons' agenda drained us dry.

And then the crashed economy and bailing rich banks out,
The new poor homeless in the streets
The wealthy get more clout,
The rich keep getting richer and the Congres has health perks,
Who the hell is voting for those jerks?

Hypocrisy is in the House and in the Senate more,
Republicans protecting rape* and torturing and war,
But they hate single payer and the taxpayer who's poor,
Or unemployed, disabled, young, it's sure

Republicans in office have their healthcare public paid,
But the ones who pay for it
For us there is no aid,
The hypocrite Republicans yell "Private Enterprise"
And that is just another of their lies--

Not everyone who has a job has healthcare for a perk,
And what happens to the healthcare when employees lose the work?
Their jobs have gone to India or China or just gone,
But the Congresscritters' coverage stays on--

And there are those who cannot work
Or no job have they found
Or have a job with pay too low for staying above groud
Or maybe costs for healthcare go beyond what they can pay,
And hope they can survive to the next day.

#57 ::: Mike Leung ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 07:20 PM:

Sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze me (You still have to blow)
Baby sneeze, baby sneeze, sneeze me (You still have to blow)
Baby sneeze, baby sneeze then blow (You still have to blow)
Then blow, I said baby, then blow
I love you so (You still have to blow)

Baby, you know you break my heart when you drip away (You still have to blow)
I said, I said, I said I'll wipe you some other day (You still have to blow)
I said, baby, baby, sneeze, then blow (You still have to blow)
Then blow, blow baby, blow baby
I love you so (You still have to blow)

#58 ::: Jon H ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 07:53 PM:

OT: Regarding the 'Satire is Over' link to the Get Motivated seminars, one of the speakers at some events is Rick Belluzzo, better known as "The Guy Who Killed Silicon Graphics". Before SGI, he was at HP, and killed HP's RISC CPU development, in favor of the Intel Itanium, aka, 'itanic', which was stillborn and even Microsoft doesn't support anymore.

After SGI, he went to Microsoft to run MSN.

WINNAH!

#59 ::: Jon Hendry ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 07:54 PM:

OT: Regarding the 'Satire is Over' link to the Get Motivated seminars, one of the speakers at some events is Rick Belluzzo, better known as "The Guy Who Killed Silicon Graphics". Before SGI, he was at HP, and killed HP's RISC CPU development, in favor of the Intel Itanium, aka, 'itanic', which was stillborn and even Microsoft doesn't support anymore.

After SGI, he went to Microsoft to run MSN.

WINNAH!

#60 ::: mensley ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 10:59 PM:

When I was sick, lying in the bed
I felt like crap in a warming bath
No breathing
No breathing

Fast working drugs could solve my pain
Like an embrace of insurance claims
No breathing [4x]

With every form that came to pass
More phlem appears until my lungs went black
And now there's
No breathing,
No breathing.
And now there's
No breathing,
No breathing anymore.

You disappoint with every claim
The idealistic things i believed
The libertarian died inside of me
No breathing [4x]

You disappoint with every claim
The idealistic things i believed
The libertarian died inside of me
No breathing [7x]
No insurance anymore.

#61 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: October 21, 2009, 11:34 PM:

Paul Lieberman @ 56:
Their jobs have gone to India or China or just gone,
But the Congresscritters' coverage stays on--

By George, you've got it! We'll outsource Congress! Let's hire some Mongolian herdsmen who have been put out of work by desertification to replace them. We'll set up a call center in Ulan Bator where they can ignore calls from their constituents, and they can vote on bills that won't affect them. Just like Congress today, only cheaper.

#62 ::: Alex ::: (view all by) ::: October 22, 2009, 03:29 AM:

Last nite she said
Oh Baby I feel so down
The way I've got this cough
and I'm so worn out

So I, I turned around
Oh baby, I know the score
It's swine flu for sure
I'm walking out that door

Well, I've been asleep for, oh, fifteen minutes this week
Oh baby, I could drown
in my own snot
I keep spreading the virus

See people, they don't understand.
No girlfriends, they can't understand.
Your grandsons, they won't understand.
On top of this, I ain't ever gonna understand.

#63 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: October 22, 2009, 06:13 AM:

By George, you've got it! We'll outsource Congress!

By George III, would that be?

#64 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: October 22, 2009, 11:45 AM:

Abi #9:

I meant to say before, thanks. I took my last Tamiflu today, and seem to be okay to go out in public (no symptoms for more than 24 hours). But that wasn't any fun at all. Yuck!

#65 ::: Mike Leung ::: (view all by) ::: October 22, 2009, 01:55 PM:

I took my Tamiflu today oh, boy
I was the sticky man who served you eggs
And though I scooped them from the trough
Well, I just had to cough
Which I uploaded as a photograph
I wiped my nose out in my palm
No one had notice if I washed my hands
A crowd dined indifferently and stared
That spoon should be cleaned before
Nobody was really sure
If the dishwasher was churning suds

#66 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 22, 2009, 10:04 PM:

twenty twenty twenty four hours of flu -
I wanna be sedated
nothing I can do
nowhere to go
I wanna be sedated
I got me to an airport
got me on a plane
somebody there was sneezing
and now I feel insane

Fortunately I haven't actually gotten the flu for a few years. I've had my Seasonal Flu shot, and eventually the flying-swine shots will get here.

Angiportus - 50's about the borderline for the nasal flu vaccine, which is how much of the supply in the US is getting shipped so far, so you'll probably have more trouble finding shots. I had the nasal version a few years ago for seasonal flu, and felt mildly fluish for a couple of days, which I don't get with the injected form. (It was a vaccine-shortage year, and it did mean that I didn't have to feel guilty about taking vaccine away from little kids and old people because the nasal version's not approved for them. But now I'm too old for it, unless they change the rules, which is unlikely for the first year's swine flu experience.)

#67 ::: dcb ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2009, 04:59 PM:

Anyone got any cough remedies to suggest? I've gone through my cold, mostly, and I'm left with a non-productive irritated (and very irritating) cough. My ribs hurt from coughing. I've not managed five minutes without coughing all day and I've got to retching point several times (apologies if that's too much detail). So far neither codeine linctus nor Robitussin (Dextromethorphan hydrobromide) is making any difference that I can detect, and I'd really like to be able to get to sleep tonight.

Any suggestions muchly welcomed.

#68 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2009, 05:04 PM:

dcb (67): No remedies to suggest, I'm afraid, just my sympathy.

I'm in the early stages of a head-cold myself. Anyone here know how you're supposed to use a CPAP machine when you can't breathe through your nose? Alternatively does sleeping sitting up avoid the apnea problem?

#69 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2009, 09:35 PM:

dcb:
Guaifenesin (Mucinex and the like if you can't stand the taste of the liquid stuff, I sure can't), does a very good job of loosening up mucus. Steam is also very good, but from your description, you're going to need something to break the irritated-cough-irritating-the-lungs-making-you-cough cycle. Which means a cough suppressant. The heavy-duty ones are narcotics, so call your doctor or health service, if that isn't possible/feasible/affordable, talk to your pharmacist/chemist/apothecary/dispensing shaman.

Mary Aileen:
If you can prop yourself up so that you maintain a good airway (snore free) while sleeping, yes. The problem would be keeping your head in a good position. I use a bead-filled pillow that mushes into a stable headrest when I can't sleep on my side (like in the early stages of my broken shoulder). A position where your head is tilted slightly back and gravity pulls your chin down would probably give you the best chance. I take it that nasal decongestants are out of the question? I suspect that you get to choose between different methods of not sleeping well.

#70 ::: David Harmon ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2009, 09:48 PM:

dcb #67: Some people do not respond to codeine, and you may well be one of them. I'm guessing you've already tried throat-soothing cough drops (slippery elm, menthol, eucalyptus, and the like) without avail? If so, then as John Houghton notes, you likely need to ask your doctor for the real narcotics.

#71 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2009, 09:50 PM:

Mary Aileen@68, you could try a decongestant like Sudafed or its politically correct cousin phenylephrine if those don't keep you awake or too jittery. (Some people can't handle the amphetamine relatives; ymmv.) There are CPAP masks that cover your mouth and nose both, but that may be more trouble than you want to go to.


I had a housemate in college who said that the only cold remedy that ever worked well for him was bourbon. It may not actually work any better than the other stuff, but you don't care.

#72 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: October 23, 2009, 10:17 PM:

The trees are closing up shop for the winter, discarding the leaves that just last week were their main stock in trade. The mice and chipmunks are happy though, a fresh blanket of leaves to keep them warm and hidden is a gift gladly received. Nothing wasted. Overhead a traffic jam of geese are leaning on their horns, impatient to get to their winter homes by the golf course. Soon the snows will come and fill the woods with soft quiet cold. When the winds howl and snap off tree branches to spite, I'll be curled up by a fire, and in the flames I'll see again the red and yellow leaves of autumn.

#73 ::: Mez ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 12:41 AM:

Nice, John H

#74 ::: dcb ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 06:00 AM:

John Houghton @ 69 Lovely word picture.

John Houghton @ 69, David Harmon @ 70 Thanks for the suggestions. Codeine was all the doctor prescribed. Yes, I've been using cough drops but once the cough-irritate-cough cycle really got going yesterday, nothing seemed to help. Luckily the various medications did presumably reach a sufficient concentration last night (three doses each of codeine and dextromethorphan hydrobromide, taken alternately during the day) that I was able to get to sleep (the cask-strength single malt probably assisted as well). Eight hours or so without coughing has greatly reduced the irritation, thankfully, although my ribs and diaphragm are sore this morning. Hopefully I'm now over the worst.

Mary Aileen @ 68 Thanks for the sympathies, and mine to you, although I can't offer any suggestions to help.

#75 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 10:58 AM:

John Houghton (69), Bill Stewart (71): Sudafed makes my heart race, so that's out. Mucinex helps a tiny bit; over-the-counter nasal sprays work pretty well, except when I'm so completely plugged up that they can't get to the problem. Last night, I did manage to get my nose clear enough to use the CPAP, but I'm going to try sleeping in the recliner if my nose plugs up completely. Which it might.

#76 ::: Thomas ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 12:11 PM:

dcb@74:

Glad to hear things are improving. I have found old-fashioned sedating antihistamines to be helpful for an irritated cough (partly by helping me sleep through it).

John Houghton@69:
The failure of codeine to work as an analgesic for some people wouldn't necessarily be relevant to it working for cough. The issue for analgesia is that a lot of the effect of codeine comes from some of it being metabolised to morphine, which has much more effect on the mu-opioid receptor. Some people don't do this metabolic step, so codeine doesn't work for them. The effects on cough are not through the opioid receptors -- dextromethorphan, which works just as well, doesn't have any opioid effects -- and codeine should work without being converted.

I suppose the opioid effects of codeine may help with not worrying about the cough and being able to sleep through it, rather than actually with suppressing the cough.

#77 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 12:18 PM:

76
Having had cough syrup with codeine (for bronchitis) I'll speak to its ability to make you not much care about coughing. It did seem to suppress mine, but that was because there were some other ingredients. (I think it was 'Act*f*d-C': pretty orange color, not quite as tasty as oranges.)

#78 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 12:59 PM:

Thomas (76): dextromethorphan, which works just as well [as codeine for coughs]

Results vary. Dextromethophan doesn't do much for me. It's not completely useless, but it's close. Codeine works better, but it makes me *extremely* groggy, and also extremely nauseated unless I'm lying down flat. Useful at night, but that's it. (When I was in the hospital with pneumonia a few years ago, I refused the offered codeine because I couldn't breathe while lying flat. The nurses were not happy with me.)

#79 ::: geekosaur ::: (view all by) ::: October 24, 2009, 05:21 PM:

Ah, yes. Neither dextromethorphan nor codeine help me much with cough; in addition, I'm one of those folks for whom codeine doesn't metabolize into morphine. Oh, and my body shrugs off pretty much anything else short of anesthesia intended to put me to sleep. Severe coughs are fun.

#80 ::: Rikibeth ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 01:02 AM:

Dextromethorphan has SOME opioid sedating effects, just not as strongly as codeine. Which is why people who drink OTC cough syrups for the mood-altering effects tend to down a whole bottle at once.

And, yeah, there's some alcohol content in there too, but if they were just getting high off the alcohol, they'd ACT like a whiskey drunk; they don't, and they DO act like someone who's had some codeine.

Oh. Yeah. And it also doesn't suppress coughs as well as codeine does. Proved that last year with the kid's post-flu bronchitis.

#81 ::: David Goldfarb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 01:02 AM:

I used to find that if I lay on my back and did my best to breathe through my nose as much as I could, eventually the airflow from the CPAP machine would dry up the mucus and allow me to breathe through my nose. Sometimes this would take a long time, but only once did I ever get to the point of giving up and sleeping without the machine. More recently I have actually switched to a mask that covers my mouth.

#82 ::: David Goldfarb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 01:03 AM:

I used to find that if I lay on my back and did my best to breathe through my nose as much as I could, eventually the airflow from the CPAP machine would dry up the mucus and allow me to breathe through my nose. Sometimes this would take a long time, but only once did I ever get to the point of giving up and sleeping without the machine. More recently I have actually switched to a mask that covers my mouth.

#83 ::: David Goldfarb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 01:06 AM:

Yeah, I was afraid of that -- first time I posted, I got an error message. The message said "correct the error in the form and press 'post' again" so I pressed "post" again.

#84 ::: David Harmon ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 11:24 AM:

Rikibeth #80: Negative, Negative, DANGER Will Robinson!

Seriously -- I actually tried that once, when "Robo" hit the news back in the early '90s. I couldn't get hold of any real hallucinogens just then, and that's what the effects were supposed to be like.... so I downed four ounces of Robitussin.

Someone who'd never actually taken LSD, 'shrooms, or such, might well have thought that's what they were supposed to be like... but no. I did indeed get "interesting visuals", notably rainbow halos around everything -- but those weren't hallucinations, they were blatantly side effects of a toxic overdose! There was none of the "softening of the mind" which true hallucinogens produce, no sedating effects either (admittedly, I'm a codeine non-responder), and the whole time I could feel my liver screaming for mercy....

Obviously, I never tried that again, and I've been downright leery of "re-purposed drugs" ever since.

#85 ::: David Harmon ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 11:30 AM:

David Goldfarb #83: Yeah, I was afraid of that -- first time I posted, I got an error message. The message said "correct the error in the form and press 'post' again"

Weirdly, I get that same message even when the "error" is "you have been posting too many comments in a short period of time" -- that is, I had a couple or three comments waiting in preview, and I tried to go through the tabs posting the lot of them.

#86 ::: Epacris ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 03:28 PM:

P J Evans @77, David H @84: Accidental Act*f*d-C syrup overdose at work gave me very strange lightheadedness, confusion, visual effects(?). One of very few times I've been 'high'. Not sure if it's still sold here, tho' tablets are.

#87 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 04:14 PM:

I once misread the label on a bottle of cough syrup and took two tablespoons instead of the recommended two teaspoons. It made me very dizzy and kind of confused.

#88 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 05:23 PM:

Epacris, I had to have a prescription for it (this was in the mid-80s) because it had codeine in it. (It also came under the heading of necessity - I was having trouble sleeping, with the coughing. The jury duty was just coincidence.)

#89 ::: Rikibeth ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 06:43 PM:

David Harmon: I didn't say that I thought drinking dextromethorphan cough syrups was a GOOD idea! I just wanted to note that they DID have some opioid effects, contrary to Thomas' claim @76.

If you're a codeine non-responder, it's not surprising that you don't get any codeine-like effects from dextromethorphan, either.

I haven't tried large doses of dextromethorphan, only as-directed cough suppressant doses. It's SLIGHTLY effective on my coughs. As-directed doses of codeine cough syrup are notably more effective. I can't report on the psychoactive properties of larger doses of codeine, either, because the amount in a Tylenol 3 will reliably make me toss my cookies, as will Vicodin.

Oddly, this effect does not seem to obtain from opiates administered via other routes.

#90 ::: Rikibeth ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 06:52 PM:

Epacris @86, that's an antihistamine, right? Excesses of antihistamine can do highly disorienting things, as I remember well from emergency treatment of an allergy attack! To this day I'm not quite sure what triggered it, although best guess is that the nut topping on my sundae was cross-contaminated with Brazil nuts. I didn't have an Epi-pen, so we got me outside of a heroically large dose of Benadryl on the way to the ER. I was LOOPY.

#91 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 08:53 PM:

Rikibeth, because of its sedative effects, Benadryl is sometimes used as a non-addictive sleep aid.

#92 ::: Rikibeth ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 09:03 PM:

fidelio, I've used it for that myself. When you go beyond the standard as-directed dose, you get more complicated effects than mere sleepiness!

#93 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2009, 09:33 PM:

Yes indeed, with possible added drool puddling thrown in as well.

I knew someone in my local SCA group once who was a field medic. Another acquaintance asked him what he did when people needed to sleep in the field and couldn't; his answer was "Benedryl". Alas, they didn't ask him how much, and were at the point of needing to be towed by a string around the bog toe, like a balloon, metaphorically speaking, when they finally fell asleep. They did sleep very well, though.

#94 ::: Pendrift ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2009, 05:06 AM:

Ouch, and sympathies to everyone who's ill right now.
I also want to thank the people who discussed the neti pot on the Flu Redux thread. My (mild) allergies tend up act up in cold weather, but nasal flushing has warded them off. Ditto for the sniffles.

#95 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2009, 10:30 AM:

fidelio (90): Benadryl doesn't make me even slightly sleepy. So much for OTC, non-addictive sleep aids for me.

That makes it a more-tolerable allergy medicine, though. When I was a kid, Benadryl was pretty much the only one around. Prescription only, but my family kept a stock on hand for emergencies (three of us had severe localized reactions to beesting).

#96 ::: emily ::: (view all by) ::: November 01, 2009, 02:04 PM:

can i use this for a school project

#98 ::: Mark ::: (view all by) ::: November 01, 2009, 05:09 PM:

What kind of school project, emily?

If you're talking about Jim Macdonald's very informative flu post, your teachers probably won't be pleased with you. That's a secondary (possibly a tertiary) source, which is to say Jim pulled information together from a bunch of original and/or authoritative sources and put it in a more convenient and/or entertaining summary format. Your teachers would no doubt prefer you went to the kinds of sources from which Jim learned his stuff originally.

If you're talking about the poetry here in this thread, most of it is pastiche, works of parody derived from copyrighted material (the original songs). I'm very curious as to what sort of school assignment it would be useful for.

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