John Rogers of Kung Fu Monkey has been posting “reruns” during the holiday break, and this one, from 2006, is particularly appropriate to the Now.
I am absolutely buffaloed by the people who insist I man up and take it in the teeth for the great Clash of Civilizations—“Come ON, people, this is the EPIC LAST WAR!! You just don’t have the stones to face that fact head-on!”—who at the whiff of an actual terror plot will, with no apparent sense of irony, transform and run around shrieking, eyes rolling and Hello Kitty panties flashing like Japanese schoolgirls who have just realized that the call is coming from inside the house!Despite which, for now at least, it appears we’ll be spending the last hour of flights into the US, and randomly-selected domestic flights as well, confined to our seats and forbidden to use the bathroom. Good thing the international terror masterminds will never think to blow up their underwear fully 65 minutes before landing!
I may have shared too much there.
To be honest, it’s not like I’m a brave man. I’m not. At all. It just, well, it doesn’t take that much strength of will not to be scared. Who the hell am I supposed to be scared of? Joseph Padilla, dirty bomber who didn’t actually know how to build a bomb, had no allies or supplies, and against whom the government case is so weak they’re now shuffling him from court to court to avoid the public embarassment of a trial? The fuckwits who were going to take down the Brooklyn Bridge with blowtorches? Richard Reid, the Zeppo of suicide bombers? The great Canadian plot that had organized over the internet, was penetrated by the Mounties on day one, and we were told had a TRUCK FULL OF EXPLOSIVES…which they had bought from the Mounties in a sting operation but hey let’s skip right over that. Or how about the “compound” of Christian cultists in Florida who were planning on blowing up the Sears Tower with…kung fu?
(Rogers is, among other things, co-creator and showrunner of the amusing TNT series Leverage. In further proof that there are only 15,000 people in the world, my brother Benjamin was a props-and-sets guy on that show during the production of its most recent season.)