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April 2, 2010

Hutaree video stars evil dildo-wielding man-duck
Posted by Teresa at 08:35 PM * 85 comments

This is Talking Points Memo’s story, but neither they nor I can improve on the version written by Harry Kimball at Newser:

Adjust your opinion of Kristopher Sickles—one of the Hutaree militia members jailed on suspicion of sedition and conspiracy to murder a police officer—according to a YouTube video dug up by TPMMuckracker which is super NSFW. In it, Sickles awakens in a field naked save for a picture of George W. Bush partially obscuring his genitalia. He finds a wounded guy lying nearby, and is himself attacked by a man in a diaper wearing a huge duck head, who roars: “May the mighty dildos of hell rain upon your wicked carcass, quack, quack.”

“Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet,” Sickles pleads. He is then rescued by a lisping passerby. In what appears to be a punchline for a joke that never really got told, Sickles’ naked character answers the question of what happened thusly: “I just woke up from a wet dream to a dead guy and a chicken who preceded to flog me with a rubber cock, and to top it all off, I’ve got a moron humming on my naked balls.” The clip has disappeared from YouTube, but TPM has a version.

To which I can only add that the remainder of the video features some seriously defective first aid, and that it ends with a picture of the duck head mask with a flashing “666” superimposed on it. I’m not sure there’s anything else you can say, unless it’s that if you’re suffering from an overheated brain, this’ll freeze it right up.

Addendum: There is more to say, and Dave Luckett knows how to say it:

#42 ::: Dave Luckett ::: April 03, 2010, 12:58 PM:

He wakes in a field, disoriented,
With Bush’s face taped to his private parts,
As if to an act George had just consented
That Monica did, when she won our hearts.
And George’s face wobbles so! Fits and starts
Quiver his phiz where the paper’s stuck.
For rolling-eyed crazy, it’s right off the charts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

Some other guy’s bleeding, his head is all dented,
We see no use of the healing arts,
It seems quite amazing that death is prevented -
Reviving him seems to depend upon farts.
But right about there, the brannigan starts,
A guy in a diaper’s running amuck
With a dildo. He swings, and it certainly smarts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

For the guy’s in a duck mask. It’s probably rented.
He clobbers our hero, and then imparts
Some gibberish ‘way worse than merely demented,
Then quacks, throws a smoke-bomb and swiftly departs,
When a stranger shows up and displays martial arts,
The wounded guy’s grappled. They drag the poor schmuck
Ignoring his cries as his pancreas parts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

Prince, if you’re shopping, I hear the Wal-mart’s
Got a special on brain-bleach, so back up the truck.
I’ll need several tons for the whole and the parts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

Comments on Hutaree video stars evil dildo-wielding man-duck:
#1 ::: JamesK ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 08:55 PM:

I was handling it until the duck-head showed up. There is no set of circumstances under which this can make sense.

#2 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 09:04 PM:

It makes me wonder just what he'd been ingesting.
That's either insanity or a really serious drug trip.

#3 ::: Janet Croft ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 09:12 PM:

Perhaps some deeply obscure in-group joke, totally lame to outsiders? In spite of its palpable brilliance, it's possible some people could be deeply confused by Boomderedux and its references to dinosaur sodomy...

#4 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 09:17 PM:

Making Light is going to get some interesting Google search hits.

#5 ::: Chris Quinones ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 09:30 PM:

I'm not watching that thing, but if that "mighty dildos of hell" quote doesn't somehow derive from an episode of Metalocalypse, I'll eat a few of my less-favorite hats.

#6 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 09:45 PM:

..I'm sorry, but why is Howard the Duck going insane and hitting naked men with a dildo? Or is this some sort of deeply Freudian pastiche by which Mr. the Duck exorcises his demons?

#7 ::: Lizzy L ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 09:50 PM:

My favorite comment at Harry Kimball's blog:

"Republicans get weirder and weirder."

Just so.

#8 ::: Graydon ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:00 PM:

Lizzy L @7 --

Science works. Complex -- really complex, so complex no one person does or can understand what's going on in them -- organizations exist, and do things, some of which are really cool or good and few of which have been in the world before. The present day is the time in which there has been a mighty change, and more and more of the world becomes a place in which the assertions of Ecclesiastes just don't apply.

If you, or your culture, isn't good enough at dealing with new and strange things (I want to type "complexity handling" here, but suspect it's like "change budget" in being too terse to be helpful), there's this ... strain.

Eventually, you either build a (virtual, but functional) wall, you give up and change culture, or you go a little nuts.

The Hutaree appear to have gone a little nuts and then asked "but what's over the next hill?"

#9 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:03 PM:

I want to know why people who like guns as much as they do know so little about first aid,

#10 ::: Andrew ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:24 PM:

Teresa @9 - Presumably they haven't hit anything yet and are realistic on their chances of doing so in the future.

#11 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:29 PM:

Graydon, if I hadn't turned my head you'd owe me a keyboard. Instead my cheap rug under my chair mildly dislikes you (it's had worse, we have four cats...)

That said, I'm at home but totally afraid to look at that video for fear my head would go a 'splody.

#12 ::: Anne Sheller ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:36 PM:

I'm on dial up, so am not going to watch the video, but the report reminds me of the actual published scientific report on an instance of homosexual necrophilia involving two mallard drakes.

That might even qualify as dinosaur sodomy.

#13 ::: Graydon ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:45 PM:

TNH @9 --

First aid implies reality.

If you live in a contingent universe and make the effort to comprehend reality, First Aid is there because if you get to your grave without needing it you're beyond lucky.

If you live in whatever mental universe the Hutaree are inhabiting, First Aid is of the devil; you have to train, it's really easy to do it wrong, what counts as wrong changes (raise your hand, people taught to do mouth-to-mouth in a way that will now fail you in a well-conducted first aid course) it's implacable about all the things you don't know how to do and shouldn't try, and you won't need it anyway because god won't let anything bad happen to you.

I lived as a student in a house owned by a local not-particularly loony church; the church was however loony enough to refuse to either move the pile of solvent based paint out of the other half of the house or have fire extinguishers because -- and this is, honest to Tiwaz, an exact quote -- "God wouldn't let anything bad happen". And that guy was close to sane and could function well in general society.

Paula Helm Murray @11 --

My apologies to your much beleaguered rug. (And my general ones for not making the explicit point that I think the process in that post is why the Republicans are getting weirder.)

#14 ::: heresiarch ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 10:45 PM:

Actually, "Scar my Tattered Body No More" would make a pretty good title for a country album.

#15 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 11:04 PM:

That video appears to have been shot at the corner of Dumb and Weird.

#16 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 11:29 PM:

Graydon:

I lived as a student in a house owned by a local not-particularly loony church; the church was however loony enough to refuse to either move the pile of solvent based paint out of the other half of the house or have fire extinguishers because -- and this is, honest to Tiwaz, an exact quote -- "God wouldn't let anything bad happen". And that guy was close to sane and could function well in general society.
Such heresy! God wouldn't let anything bad happen? Did they see what happened to his son? And did they test the general proposition by walking off the edge of the roof?

If you believe God created the universe, God created the laws of physics and chemistry that say that piled-up cans of solvent-based paints are a bad idea.

Furthermore, Tiwaz would never leave cans of solvent-based paint sitting around like that.

#17 ::: Michael Roberts ::: (view all by) ::: April 02, 2010, 11:50 PM:

My brain seems to be freezing up just from reading your synopsis; I'm not sure actually watching the video would be safe.

I don't like embarrassment humor and I suspect this would be excruciating.

#18 ::: Kip W ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:09 AM:

Well, this explains everything!

... Say, does anybody here happen to have Jodie Foster's address?

#19 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:14 AM:

Teresa, that's the same feeling they seem to have about driving - God won't let them have accidents. (I give cars with religious symbols a little more room than strictly necessary, because of that.)

#20 ::: Lizzy L ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:25 AM:

I am so glad (truly, not snark) that Graydon is here to explain the universe. I'm finding it mighty confusing. And no, I'm not going to watch that video, either...

#21 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:37 AM:

reducktio ad absurdum

#22 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:43 AM:

My undergrad-college SF club mostly consisted of long-timers, but some students drifted in at the beginning of a semester and then out at the end of a term.

These were usually quiet folks who liked to read SF but didn't feel they needed to be in a club to enjoy it. Not convention goers. Not stay up all night watching bad horror movies or playing Cosmic Encounter with three Powers each.(According to legend, Spider Robinson may once have been one such fringe member.)

But some of the short-timers were . . . odd. A born-again christian dude with what today we'd call a personality disorder. An Ozzie Osbourne fan who cackled endlessly about the awful things his hero did on stage. (Bats. Dolphin.) A guy who sat around flipping his butterfly knife open and shut. Another guy who was only interested in "Lost in Space." ONLY "Lost in Space."

They drifted in. They drifted out. I don't think they were SF capital-F Fans, or even read SF; the science fiction library was just a quiet place full of much less judgmental than usual folks where they'd light for a time.

I wonder if this Kris Sickles guy just kind of drifted into the Hutaree Militia. He's clearly not well, and the Hutaree folks are clearly not well, but that video suggests that Sickles is clearly not well in ways that don't shout out "Born again Christian Warrior."

#23 ::: Kevin Riggle ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 01:08 AM:

WAT. o_O

"God wouldn't let anything bad happen".

It's worse when they're refusing needed repairs to the parsonage on those grounds. And it's usually a condition of employment that the pastor live in the parsonage.

#24 ::: mea ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 01:20 AM:

can't watch the whole video. Just the beginning is as painful as grading freshman comp papers...but less articulate. Yep, doesn't seem very uptight Christian warrior to me either. More like high school boys aspiring to join a fraternity.

@22 Stephan Jones. As a mostly-lurker, I feel a bit like the short-timers in your club, sitting quietly on the Making Light couch - the one in the corner, out of the main flow of action. But now I need to brush the hair out of my eyes and speak up: Where did you go to school that had a science fiction library? Are you talking about a serious SF library like at UC Riverside? Or a cozy collection of battered paperbacks with a few swayback couches?

Yes, I am using thoughts of cosy SF libraries as a unicorn chaser.

#25 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 05:05 AM:

Found it. It's an excerpt from a video project called Pure Sanity (more NSFW).

#26 ::: BSD ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 07:34 AM:

Mr. Cooley, that still doesn't explain anything. Was he part of the group making those videos? Was it a FANVID?

Some of the things we know about the Huttaree starting to suspect, like Al Qaeda, that if you scrape the surface and look at them right, you'll see that a significant number of their adherents might have been fen had their lives gone differently.

#27 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 08:09 AM:

I don't feel comfortable exploring that angle any further. I found the link and provided it as a launch point for people interested in further research on the topic. I don't feel any obligation beyond that.

#28 ::: kid bitzer ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 08:16 AM:

i don't think it needs saying in this group, but it probably will need to be said quite often in the months to come, that "laughably irrational" is not equal to "harmless". the fact that these guys made a whacked out, quacked out video does not mean that were not on their way to killing a lot of police offers with ieds.

those losers out in columbine would have made a video quite like this, i imagine, and they killed a dozen of their classmates. unstable people are just that, i.e. unstable; they lurch in many different directions, some more obviously harmful and some less. their very instability makes it harder to infer from one piece of behavior to the next. inferences that would normally go through for normal people ("anyone who would take care of an injured dog and pay its vet bills surely would not torture and kill it!") just don't go through for unstable people.

and when you get a few unstable people in unstable orbits around each other (strangely attracted to one another, so to speak), then all bets are off. the next video we find may be a sober, restrained re-enactment of "the bells of st. mary" with a remarkably convincing solo by a bing crosby baritone.

and that *still* won't tell us that they were harmless. it will just tell us that they were unstable.

of course, instability is not *proof* of criminal intent, either, or of any tendency to be harmful. (which also does not need to be said in this group). what matters is the evidence, the testimony, and so on.

the govt still has to make its case. this video doesn't do it for the govt, or show that, on its basis, we can tell the hutaree were bad scary people. all i'm saying is: it sure doesn't exculpate them. (and i can predict with some confidence that it will be spun in just that way by their defenders).

#29 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 08:29 AM:

A Hutaree gunner in the muck
Was heard to murmur "Oh, f_uck!
When we have the Apocalypse
It will be raining cock-tips
And I'll be buggered by a rubber-dicked duck!"

#30 ::: Lighthill ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 10:24 AM:

To be fair, I've .... seen movies like this. I think they're mostly made by low-budget filmmakers who decide to make "the craziest damn movie you ever saw." Barn of the Blood Llama comes to mind. They're generally not a sign of mental instability in the filmmaker.

As for the first aid issue, IME it's entirely possible for somebody who knows real first aid (or engineering, or scientific technique, or law) to leave it out of their movie on the theory that the audience won't know or care. To ensure that your make your characters treat an injured character properly, it is not enough that you know how to do first aid. You must also treat your characters as rational and quasi-intelligent beings rather than as mere puppets of your messed-up plot.

#31 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 10:35 AM:

I don't think people should mistake this video for an official militia manifesto or statement; we don't know if there are any other members of the group in it yet.

protip: if you ever consider running for public office, this is exactly the kind of thing that people will dig up about you, seeking explanations.

#32 ::: kid bitzer ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 10:42 AM:

#31--
"i'm proud to represent a district with a lot of ducks. this is just constituent servicing!"

"i want to represent eugene, oregon"

"there have been questions about my past, but i have not ducked them!"

#33 ::: Kelly McCullough ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 10:57 AM:

Earl Cooley III @ 31 which is one of the many reasons that I will probably never rise above the small town county board supervisor level of politics where I am right now. At this level, I know my voters as neighbors and they know me the same way, I'm that weird liberal science fiction author that hangs out with the university folks. Odd, but in a treasured local eccentric way.

#34 ::: Coyote ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 11:28 AM:

What's more, even as we speak, George Lucas is staring at his computer screen, and thinking, "*That*'s how I could have made Howard the Duck even wierder!"

#35 ::: Jim Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 11:30 AM:

Any number of big-budget Hollywood movies have laughably bad first aid demonstrated in them.

#36 ::: Randolph ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 11:36 AM:
the church was however loony enough to refuse to either move the pile of solvent based paint out of the other half of the house or have fire extinguishers because -- and this is, honest to Tiwaz, an exact quote -- "God wouldn't let anything bad happen".

Gee, is that what they call moral hazard?

#37 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 11:39 AM:

Graydon @ 13 -- Asimov's essay "The Fateful Lightning" noted the embarrassing tendency for early modern churches, rather than their less holy neighbors, to be struck by lightning, since the church spires were the tallest structures. In 1769, the town of Brescia, Italy, was devastated because the church of San Nazaro was struck by lightning, after the townsfolk had stored 90000 kg of gunpowder in the church's vaults because they thought that was the safest possible location.

#38 ::: kid bitzer ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:11 PM:

@37--

you can find this observation already in one of the comic sketches of lucian of samosata writing say 170 AD.

it's in lucretius' 'de rerum natura' book 6.417-420, and since lucretius (writing around 70 BC) is generally copying older epicurean material we can conjecture that it goes back easily to c. 300 BC.

anyhow--zeus' blasting his own temples is an old trope.

#39 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:19 PM:

The video (yes, we watched it, with Danny hanging over my shoulder, agape, muttering, "what?" every few seconds) has the quality of one of those "let me tell you about the SF novel I'm going to write" conversations I've had once or twice with very young, very intense guys very late at night at conventions. The guys who are oblivious about personal-space and think that somehow the incoherent mess they're describing is all symbolism and depth. It's disturbing and weird, but not particularly scary until you realize that this guy has access to a lot of weaponry.

One note: unlike the Dead Guy on the Ground and Improbable Karate Guy who enters later, the Naked Mr. Sickles can actually deliver a line with some degree of fluidity. I'm not saying he can act, but he doesn't seem frozen by being in front of a camera which--given that he's standing there in all his considerable all, is a little disturbing in itself.

#40 ::: Michael Turyn ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:42 PM:

Years ago, Douglass St. Claire Smith coined the phrase 'consumer abnormality' to describe things outside the norm that rather than being a threat to it, in fact turn a profit for it.

Consumer abnormality is real abnormality as a our native and idiosyncratic fantasies are to the ones we've been fed.

This looks like any number of self-made videos...I can't honestly say whether this particular individual is involved in evil, as not all shared in this group's supposed evil intentions, but I can say that he is Banal.

#41 ::: HelenS ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:57 PM:

This sounds like the nightmares I have about Really Bad Typos.

"It's a dick! It's a duck! It's a dick! It's a duck! NOOOOO! DUUUUUUUCK!"

#42 ::: Dave Luckett ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 12:58 PM:

He wakes in a field, disoriented,
With Bush’s face taped to his private parts,
As if to an act George had just consented
That Monica did, when she won our hearts.
And George’s face wobbles so! Fits and starts
Quiver his phiz where the paper’s stuck.
For rolling-eyed crazy, it’s right off the charts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

Some other guy’s bleeding, his head is all dented,
We see no use of the healing arts,
It seems quite amazing that death is prevented –
Reviving him seems to depend upon farts.
But right about there, the brannigan starts,
A guy in a diaper’s running amuck
With a dildo. He swings, and it certainly smarts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

For the guy’s in a duck mask. It’s probably rented.
He clobbers our hero, and then imparts
Some gibberish ‘way worse than merely demented,
Then quacks, throws a smoke-bomb and swiftly departs,
When a stranger shows up and displays martial arts,
The wounded guy’s grappled. They drag the poor schmuck
Ignoring his cries as his pancreas parts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

Prince, if you’re shopping, I hear the Wal-mart’s
Got a special on brain-bleach, so back up the truck.
I’ll need several tons for the whole and the parts,
That, and the quack of the rubber duck.

#43 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 01:24 PM:

#24: SUNY Stony Brook.

Still in operation.

#44 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 01:40 PM:

Une canard andalou?

#45 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 02:24 PM:

I've watched the whole thing, and have a couple of things to say. Though they sound like I'm defending it, I should say at the outset that this film adds to the impression that this guy is a loser who is just the kind that becomes dangerous when given weapons.

First, this is only an excerpt. The full-length movie apparently has not survived, but it's possible it's somewhat more coherent. Not any better, mind you, but more coherent.

Second, the fact that a character in a movie doesn't practice good first aid doesn't mean the filmmakers don't know it. This character is clearly supposed to be a loser; you can tell by the junior-high-school-level semaphore: he farts every time he bends over. That makes him a clown character.

Third, it is possible this is intended as a parody. The farting could be to add absurdity. "How many things can we do wrong in one movie?" is a game some people play.

#46 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 03:05 PM:

Also: is there any such thing as a non-evil dildo-wielding man-duck? If so, does the fact that the man-duck is wearing diapers help disambiguate that somewhat?

Adults who wear baby-style cloth diapers as their outermost layer...well, I don't know about you, but I've never met one who wasn't evil.

#47 ::: Mark ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 03:19 PM:

Stefan @ 43: Were you a regular at I-Con, then? In, say, the late '80s, early '90s? We might have some overlapping extended circles.

#48 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 03:21 PM:

Xopher #45: First, this is only an excerpt. The full-length movie apparently has not survived, but it's possible it's somewhat more coherent.

Did you overlook my link @25? I just checked, and the Pure Sanity site is still up as of a couple of minutes ago.

#49 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 03:25 PM:

That should be "the link" and not "my link".

#50 ::: janetl ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 04:24 PM:

kid bitzer @ 32: "i'm proud to represent a district with a lot of ducks. this is just constituent servicing!"

I'm one of the people who snicker every time I see "servicing" outside of the context of livestock, but I think there aren't many of us left. Or maybe all those companies talking about servicing their customers really mean it that way?

#51 ::: dolloch ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 04:28 PM:

I don't know. It struck me as an amateur attempt at absurdist comedy. Sort of a Monty Python inspired if not comprehended. Is c**k-slapped by a duck terribly different from a fish-slapping dance? Perhaps there's a vague attempt at a pun: duck head (d**khead)?

#52 ::: dolloch ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 04:53 PM:

Aaaand now that I read my post again I should have spent more time editing it. Once again, with more actual readable English:

I don't know that this video is all that strange. Well, it is strange but not in a 'made by lunatics' kind of way. It struck me more as an amateur attempt at absurdist comedy - inspired by things like Monty Python, though perhaps they didn't quite comprehend what Monty Python was doing. More like a surface reading of Python which was then imitated.

I mean, is being c**k-slapped by a duck terribly different on the surface from the fish-slapping dance? I think the line delivery is the real clue here. The "Scar...mallet" line particularly struck me as intentionally overwrought and delivered in what they considered to be tongue-in-cheek. I'd even go out on a limb to say Duck Head is an attempt at a pun (homonymic humor? Homonymiphobic humor?) for d**khead.

Which I guess is a more long winded way of saying I think Xopher @ 45 has it right - attempt at parody with Jr High humor.

#53 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 04:56 PM:

Hutaree Gunnery Duckery Dickery Buggery?

#54 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 05:12 PM:

FWIW, dolloch, your first version made perfect sense to me.

#55 ::: Madeline Ashby ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 06:01 PM:

Ladies and gentlemen, this calls for a mashup:

Rubber Duckie, you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you;

Woo woo be doo

Rubber Duckie, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend, it's true!

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby

Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!

Rubber Duckie, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you.

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby

Rubber Duckie, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of -
Rubber Duckie, I'd like a whole pond of -
Rubber Duckie I'm awfully fond of you!

Doo doo, be doo

#57 ::: Michael Walsh ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 06:18 PM:

That was special.

#58 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 07:31 PM:

Or should that be "Rubber Dickie"?

#59 ::: Jon Hendry ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 07:57 PM:

Wait, wait, I'm trying to keep up here, but WHICH seal-opening unleashes the dildo-wielding anthropomorphic ducks?

Maybe Fred at slacktivist knows. Maybe Left Behind gets interesting in book 3?

#60 ::: Lee ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 08:22 PM:

janetl, #50: Imagine, then, my feelings about the term "fan-service", which is common in several fannish sub-cultures and refers (most frequently) to scantily-clad-female fantasy-fodder, included gratuitously in artwork to increase sales to the sort of fannish stereotype with which nobody wants to identify.

Erik, #53: I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I saw that!

#61 ::: PhilPalmer ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 09:57 PM:

So am I the only one who saw it as a Hieronymus Bosch reference?

#62 ::: Margaret Organ-Kean ::: (view all by) ::: April 03, 2010, 10:44 PM:

Tom @44

My cat will not forgive you. She was sitting next to me when I read that.

#63 ::: Stefan Jones ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 12:22 AM:

Mark @ #47: I was around then, but not as heavily involved in I-Con proper. (The library and convention are two different organizations that share a lot of personnel.) (I was I-Con's treasurer for a couple of years, I recall. '85 or so?)

#64 ::: Leroy F. Berven ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 12:35 AM:

PhilPalmer @ 61: Accepted as evidence that bosh and Bosch are not, inherently, mutually exclusive.

#65 ::: Scott W ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 12:47 AM:

Perhaps Mr Sickles saw Sex With Ducks and felt a need to respond.

#66 ::: Coyote ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:45 AM:

Adults who wear baby-style cloth diapers as their outermost layer...well, I don't know about you, but I've never met one who wasn't evil.

Xopher #46- good point.

#67 ::: Coyote ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:46 AM:

Adults who wear baby-style cloth diapers as their outermost layer...well, I don't know about you, but I've never met one who wasn't evil.

Xopher #46- good point.

#68 ::: Lee ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:53 AM:

Kelly, #56: If you want devil duckies, I suggest going straight to the source.

#69 ::: tykewriter ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 06:54 AM:

dolloch: if it walks like a dick, and quacks like a dick...

#70 ::: Larry ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 09:34 AM:

I can't bring myself to watch that vid yet having just woke up. But it sounds like the video is a cautionary tale regarding what happens if you let rubber ducky grow up unsupervised with the likes of one Bert & Ernie.

FOR THE DUCKYS!!!!

#71 ::: Ken Brown ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 09:50 AM:

PhilPalmer #61: and Hieronymus Bosch was stable, well-organised, sane and harmless?

But as others said, its the sort of thing I can imagine non-right-wing non-nut-jobs doing for a laugh (Am I the only one who heard the Stingray theme at the end?)

There have been sf cons that might have had something not very different from that put on late at night. Mostly in Glasgow in the 1980s, but they have existed. Though they would probably have been funnier and certainly fuller of fannish in-jokes - but maybe this was full of in-jokes we didn;t notice cos to them we are not *in*.

#72 ::: Lee ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 12:27 PM:

I'm putting this here rather than in the open thread due to its political nature.

30 US governors sent threatening letters.

Summary: 30 governors, Democratic and Republican both, have received vaguely-threatening letters from a group called Guardians of the Free Republics. The letters give the governors 3 days to resign their offices or they will be "removed". The FBI is investigating.

My questions:

1) ISTR that some 20 US governors are trying to sue to exempt their states from Obama's health-care reform. Are these 30 governors the ones who haven't? If not, why were they targeted?

2) Is "Guardians of the Free Republics" associated with the Freepers?

3) Why the HELL isn't the mainstream media all over this? I saw it on the Headline News cable channel yesterday, but when I went looking for more info, I had to find it from the Christian Science Monitor, forghodsake!

And why am I not at all surprised that this has been linked with a Texas hate-radio station?

#73 ::: Jim Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:03 PM:

1) ISTR that some 20 US governors are trying to sue to exempt their states from Obama's health-care reform. Are these 30 governors the ones who haven't? If not, why were they targeted?

No. One of the governors who got the letters spoke at the bit Tea Party shindig in Nevada the other day.

#74 ::: Larry ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:12 PM:

Lee @72: This group seems to be, like the article stated, outside normal political bounds. I do find some irony in a group proclaiming to want to return to a "true" America espousing ignoring founding procedures and doctrine. I guess they have stopped at the Declaration of Independence.

hopefully the story will get picked up on Monday. It is Easter so I expect a slow news day. Though there are a lot of stories regarding the Catholic Church scandal.

#75 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:12 PM:

73: Yeah, but Jindal's parents came here from India. I suspect that the morons in question see his skin color rather than his party affiliation.

#76 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 01:34 PM:

Lee @72:

NYT has it; that's where I saw it.

#77 ::: dolloch ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 03:12 PM:

TexAnne @54 - Thanks, sometimes I wonder.
Tykewriter @69 - Brilliant!

#78 ::: Michael I ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 03:54 PM:

Lee@72

Article on the letters was in the Washington Post on Saturday. According to the last paragraph of the article "The FBI expects that all 50 governors will eventually receive such letters".

#79 ::: Carol Maltby ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 04:33 PM:

Erik @53

If you shorten it to "Hutaree Gunnery Duckery Buggery," it is crying out to be the opening line of a double dactyl .

#80 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 05:44 PM:

Lee, #72, 1) ISTR that some 20 US governors are trying to sue to exempt their states from Obama's health-care reform. Are these 30 governors the ones who haven't? If not, why were they targeted?

Our AG sued, but the governor still got the letter. The WashPost reported that the FBI thinks all 50 will get them.

#81 ::: dilbert dogbert ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 06:24 PM:

I laughed at the description of the video but did not clik to view. I cruised over to the paricles and clicked on the battlefield earth one. God!!! I blew snot all over the keyboard and hurt myself laughing. Thanks Thanks Thanks
Full disclosure: I dated a Scientologist for a while and really really liked her. I think someone in the org told her to dump me. Too bad she was someone special - except for the Scientology.

#82 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: April 04, 2010, 07:30 PM:

dilbert dogbert @81 -- I dated someone a few years ago who had once been a Scientologist (back in the 60s), and she was someone quite special. So there's hope for you yet!

#83 ::: Kip W ::: (view all by) ::: April 05, 2010, 10:16 AM:

Hutaree diapery ducks;
A gang of angry fucks.
Our fundie sons:
Mad dogs with guns.
Hutaree diapery ducks.

#84 ::: novalis ::: (view all by) ::: April 05, 2010, 09:55 PM:

Sadly, the full video mentioned in #25 appears to now be unavailable. Perhaps they ran out of bandwidth. Anyone have a mirror? It's not on the Internet Archive.

#85 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: April 08, 2010, 10:48 AM:

Maybe the guy's an Alan Moore fan.

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