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October 25, 2010

Those who know tell all on our helpful website
Posted by Abi Sutherland at 02:41 PM *

So somewhere in my file of C&P’s from long-lost tabs, I found an unexpected clip, adrift from its URL. It’s from one of those answer websites, but not your usual sort. I can’t recall the site, and I’ve cleared my history since.

- o0o -

How do I slay a dragon?

On an isle near where I serve as wizard has come a dragon from the east. I do not know how to slay it, but cannot tarry while it grows further in strength. My shadow is ever too close behind me.
— Sparrowhawk
I found my gift in fire and lost it in shadow; learned in silence what I lost in words.

@Sparrowhawk:
Look for the hollow of the left breast as he turns and flies above you.
— T. H. Rush
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Snails.
Snails who?
Just snails.

@Sparrowhawk:
I find that pretty much any enemy can be defeated by tearing its arm (well, in this case, forelimb) off and beating it to death with the soggy end. The problem, and this is where most monster-slayers go wrong, is that you can’t stop there. You have to check for relatives.
— B O’Wulf
Mead, mead, mead, mead…

@Sparrowhawk:
I say, have you got any decent fewmets from your beast?
— Pellinore Rex
Semper ubi sub ubi.

@Sparrowhawk:
Have you tried talking to it?
— EC Scrubb
=^-^=

- o0o -

I seem to recall that there were other questions and answers. I remember a long and complicated query concerning orbital mechanics that was answered with “find an older authority figure who will lecture you on the importance of basic trigonometry”. There was also one about single combat that got answered with a recipe for homemade gunpowder, and something I really did not follow about heptapodia.

Any of this sounding familiar to anyone?

Comments on Those who know tell all on our helpful website:
#1 ::: ddb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 03:04 PM:

Clearly there was a great depth of knowledge of dragon lore among those involved in the original thread!

#2 ::: jbrandt ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 03:07 PM:

HEPTapodia or HEXapodia?

Because, as we all know, hexapodia is the key insight.

#3 ::: ddb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 03:16 PM:

Well, I'm finally getting some Google hits on the bits you quote.

But only because this post has appeared in the Google index already (just over 1/2 hour after it was posted).

#4 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 03:18 PM:

jbrandt @2:

Distinctly HEPT. I suspect that's indicative of how useful and accurate this site was.

Perhaps we could do better? And are there any other questions that might be useful to discuss?

#5 ::: ddb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 03:33 PM:

Well, in a discussion of ways to kill Dragons, seems like the feet of reptiles are relevant!

#6 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 03:54 PM:

I think I know that site. Is it the one where every time someone posts "Will this get me in trouble?" or "Help, I'm stuck on an elevator," they get buried under hundreds of comments?

#7 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 04:19 PM:

Help! I'm afraid civilization is about to collapse, and I want to make sure that it recovers as quickly as possible. I'd like to hope that a library of some sort would help, but I'm not sure how to protect it. Any ideas?

H. Seldon

#8 ::: Bruce Cohen (Speaker to Managers) ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 04:33 PM:

@H. Seldon

Beware of mayors bearing gifts (politics and science never mix well). And watch out for coal-powered robots.

#9 ::: Nina ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 05:23 PM:

Help, I'm a princess and my parents want to marry me to this totally wimpy prince while I'd rather learn magic and cooking and swordplay. What should I do?

#10 ::: Q. Pheevr ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 05:27 PM:

Ferments? Fewmets, surely. Or has an allusion eluded me?

#11 ::: pericat ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 05:27 PM:

Fewmets, @Pellinore Rex. They're fewmets, not "ferments". He's on the track of a dragon, not a distillery.

#12 ::: pericat ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 05:32 PM:

(Q. Pheevr and I are having a meeting of the Nitpicker's Society at approximately 18:43:15 next Tuesday. Cookies with little sprinkles will be provided. Bring your own tweezers and monocles.)

#13 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 05:34 PM:

Q. Pheevr @10:

Yes, fewments; thank you.

I am going to take the autoreplace on my text editor and feed it to a dragon. It will then come to understand fewments all too well.

#14 ::: ddb ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 05:56 PM:

pericat@12: I wish to point out that you have neglected to specify the location of this meeting! Street address, room number, and so forth.

Mostly I prefer a binocular microscope for this kind of event.

abi@13: Getting warmer, but lose the "n"; it's "fewmets".

#15 ::: vian ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 06:00 PM:

Nina @9:

I believe that as a Princess, there is only one option available to you in the long term. You clearly have to disguise yourself as a boy and make your way to London or the city of your choice - because you will need a locale with both fencing academies and a restaurant - to seek your fortune.

In the short term? Depends on whether you are in a tower or not at the moment. But either way, cutting your hair is a good start.

#16 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 06:03 PM:

pericat #12: Bring your own tweezers and monocles.

You prefer a monocle instead of a loupe? May I ask why?

#17 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 06:04 PM:

Nina @9 -- Visit the Enchanted Forest and ask for help from the second being you meet there. The first does not have your best interest at heart.

#18 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 06:22 PM:

Earl Cooley III @16 You prefer a monocle instead of a loupe? May I ask why?

It goes with the white cat...

#19 ::: Sisuile ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 06:28 PM:

Nina@9
Go adventuring in the Mountains of Morning. Follow Tom @ 17's advice. Alternatively, get yourself fostered to one of the "Fairy Godmothers" - they get to go everywhere, see everything, and no one dares tell them what they are and aren't allowed to do.

#20 ::: pericat ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 06:44 PM:

ddb @14: Meeting's in the usual place. Third subbasement below the current Open Thread.*

Earl @16: monocles lend themselves to more expressive gesturing than loupes. No nitpicker can afford to be without a decent repertoire of gestures and handwaving.


*location details left out on purpose. Consider it a gift from all of me to all of you!

#21 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 07:38 PM:

I am in need of assistance in resurrecting Merlin in order to save Logres.

E. Ransom, @Pendragon

Help, am stuck on Darkest Thulcandra...

#22 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:04 PM:

I know you are a Logres
And not just a common bum
For the true ruler of Logres
Is really some guy named Ransom

My lover was a Venusian
We were the only two of the race
A resurrection of the tired old trope
Of Adam and Eve in Space

And so we're thawing Merlin
To save the universe
From bureaucratic magic
With a silly Babel curse

[best I could do before having to go somewhere. if you can write this better you're welcome to.]

#23 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:06 PM:

Teresa at #6: I hope they're not still trapped in the elevator.

#24 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:07 PM:

I momentarily misread "how may I slay a dragon" as "how may I stay a dragon," i e avoid being transformed into something else. This led me to extrapolate a different possible game scenario.

#26 ::: Chris ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:14 PM:

I am need of finding out what this ring is that I got from some dude under a mountain.

B. Baggins

#27 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:16 PM:

I can't get no satisfaction.

Please advise.

M. Jagger

#28 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:26 PM:

Few Mets, if any, will be in the World Series this year.

#29 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:32 PM:

I did a Google search for "Help, I am stuck in an elevator" and it led me to finalfantasyforums dot net. Could that be the one?

#30 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:39 PM:

Help! Through a series of events I'd rather not go into in detail, I now find myself chained to a corpse in the desert. Can anyone help?

-Mac

#31 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:39 PM:

Dear sirs, I must hire a thief. Does the symbol-onna-door trick really work?

Sincerely, T. O.

#32 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:41 PM:

*facepalm* Chris beat me to it.

Xopher, thou hast stumped me.

#33 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:43 PM:

Last one for a while, honest:

I have a spinning wheel and a lot of straw. Unfortunately, I only know how to use a drop spindle. Any tips?

Ms. Miller

#34 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 08:51 PM:

TexAnne, ZpGrnthr, ol Senax Abeevf. Not SF. Or rather, it is SF, but not in the usual sense (vg'f fhogvgyrq "n abiry bs Fna Senapvfpb").

#35 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:07 PM:

Xopher: Thank you! I shall look into it.

#36 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:11 PM:

Unfortunately, I gave away the ending. Sorry.

#37 ::: TexAnne ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:27 PM:

Xopher: not until just then.

#38 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:44 PM:

*beats self with stick*

#39 ::: romsfuulynn ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:48 PM:

There appears to have been a website maintained by someone named techwitch, in the 2005 to 2008 timeframe
The Internet archive, under the sidelink "humor"
http://web.archive.org/web/20080506053047/http://www.madbbs.com/users/strieder/
takes you to a page that references that essay, but did not scoop the essay itself.

There is an email address legat111 referenced there at yahoo and deviantart references that and techwitchontheweb

#40 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:48 PM:

Hey, my uncle just bought some second-hand robots (fell off the back of the sand crawler, if you know what I mean), and one of them -- of course -- just broke. Where do I find the Users Manual on this old fella? It's a Artoodetoo something -- can't read the rest of the ID.

Thanks in advance,
L.S.

#41 ::: xeger ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 09:53 PM:

Help! I am a single man afflicted by a universal truth! How shall I resolve this conundrum?

F.D.

#42 ::: Patrick Connors ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:04 PM:

It does sound familiar, but not as a website.

Back in the eighties, the head librarian at the University of Arizona used to have a section on a bulletin board (the cork and thumbtacks sort) where one could post any question, and he would answer. The answers were of various degrees of utility and whimsy.

I should do that on my blog.

#43 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:12 PM:

OK, I had to leave my parents' home in kind of a hurry. I'm not in any danger, because of this mark on my forehead, but there don't seem to be a lot of people around.

Any idea how I can find myself a wife?

#44 ::: pericat ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:27 PM:

@L.S. Got it on the "cheap", didja? Yeah, right - this forum is for assistance on only legit purchases. We're not gonna help you crack your Artoo-Detoo.

Palpatine
Imperial Moderator

#45 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:50 PM:

Xopher: Seek employment with a very pale tall dude with dark hair and eyes, who sometimes wears a funny helm.

#46 ::: MichaelC ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:50 PM:

B. Baggins @26 The ring you found is a core hardware component of a wide-area network; specifically, a Tolkien-ring network.

#47 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:54 PM:

Hey, this guy pulled a thorn out of my foot, and now he's come over to my house. If I'm really, really hungry, what sauce is best for eating him with?

F. L.

#48 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 10:57 PM:

I've taken passage on a badly beaten up ship full of scary characters, and need to figure out how to get along with them to keep myself and my sister safe. Anyone have any advice?

S T

#49 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:00 PM:

Abi: I think that last one also required identifying sufficiently strong hollow logs for the job at hand.

#50 ::: Singing Wren ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:06 PM:

@M.J. 27

You're not the only one with mixed emotions.

#51 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:07 PM:

I woke up this morning and found myself transformed into a giant cockroach. Any tips?
-GS

#52 ::: Joel Polowin ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:09 PM:

Heptapodia -- elderly person, with cane, carrying a baby all day?

#53 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:28 PM:

One of my favorite writers of technology thrillers starts his books with a climactic scene, and half the fun of the book is finding out how the characters got into that mess in the first place. One book starts with our hero in a cave on the side of a volcano, driving a truck full of explosives, under fire from somebody, and in the opening sequence the truck stalls out and the refrigeration unit gets shot. The temperature is rising, and they've got to get out of there.... The setup certainly fits the theme of this post and comment thread.

Moon Hill, by Martin Woodhouse. Strangely compelling books. He also wrote a couple of the Honor Blackman Avengers episodes, and some historical thrillers with Leonardo da Vinci as the swashbuckling teen protagonist.

#54 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:35 PM:

That old man does nothing but order me around all the time, and his daughter is pretty, but not much nicer. Also she wears skimpy outfits all the time, and doesn't even notice how her father looks at her. It's really creepy. That guy's got monsters in his id, let me tell you.

How do I get off this damn planet, anyway?
-RTR

#55 ::: heresiarch ::: (view all by) ::: October 25, 2010, 11:59 PM:

@RTR:

It's like you know exactly what I'm going through. She leads me on, and when he catches us she plays the innocent victim, and suddenly I'm a slave! A slave! This was MY island first, buddy!

C.

#56 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 01:37 AM:

Erik Nelson@23, that's because they're trying to get the elevator to go up, instead of to the basement.

       "May I ask you," inquired the elevator in its sweetest, most reasonable voice, "if you've considered all the possibilities that down might offer you?"

#57 ::: TomB ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 01:56 AM:

I need to get my fewmets amalgamated.

#58 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 02:16 AM:

(Peripherally, one day maybe someone can explain to me why hexapodia really is the key insight. Because I genuinely have never got it.)

#59 ::: KayTei ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 02:19 AM:

Huh. My initial bias was in the direction of the usenet oracle.

#60 ::: twirlip ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 03:05 AM:

abi @ 58: Gur fxebqrevqref evqr fvk-jurryrq pnegf. Cerfhznoyl Gjveyvc fbzrubj xabjf gung gur Oyvtug'f "qrngu enpr" vf urkncbqvp, ohg vf zvfyrq ol gur punggre ba gur Arg vagb guvaxvat gung uhznaf, engure guna fxebqrevqref, ner gur Oyvtug'f chccrgf -- urapr "Vf vg gehr gung uhznaf unir fvk yrtf?"

#61 ::: Mike McHugh ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 03:31 AM:

@H. Seldon:
if I can offer one piece of advice: stay away from nukes. It never ends well.
— I. Leibowitz
Sic transit mundus

#62 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 07:30 AM:

@I.Leibowitz #61

Did you ever get that pound pastrami?

#63 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 08:28 AM:

@B.Baggins
Generally, sooner is better than later for dealing with these things. Find someone you trust and tell him the truth. --ER

@Miller
What's the staple length of your straw? My middle sister wants to know. --C.

#64 ::: Lila ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 09:14 AM:

Both my parents are really kick-ass types, but every time I try to emulate them, I break my foot. What am I doing wrong? --A day late and half a meter short

#65 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 09:21 AM:

#64 @A day late and half a meter short That's nothing that taking over your own mercenary fleet won't cure.

#66 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:21 AM:

@a day late
Be careful, that kind of worry can give a man ulcers.

#67 ::: ma larkey ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:27 AM:

I think you recognize the dragon by the way his fingers curl around a teacup. or not.

#68 ::: OtterB ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 11:01 AM:

TomB @57 I need to get my fewmets amalgamated.

Now I really want to read a book where our young hero is struggling with the decision of whether to strike out on his own, or remain in the family business, Amalgamated Fewmets.

Fewmets Unlimited
Acme Fewmets
Megafewmets. Or, perhaps, Nanofewmets.
All-American Fewmets
Few*Mart

Here ends the string of random associations. At least, mine.

#69 ::: Theophylact ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 11:03 AM:

M. Villon: The snows of yesteryear may be found towards the bottom of the glacier. Kovacs Enterprises supplies appropriate coring equipment.

#70 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 11:12 AM:

@H. Seldon
"Protect"? What's wrong with a shotgun? --H. Farnham

#71 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 01:03 PM:

I think I love this person, but he's such a Pervert--all he's interested in is sex! It doesn't help he's not from around here. How do I make this work?
--THriE
The Sage is occupied with the unspoken
and acts without effort.

#72 ::: Rymenhild ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 02:19 PM:

THriE:

Road trips, or the local equivalent, almost always work, especially if you can arrange to be stuck in some really awful weather.

#73 ::: Bob the Mole ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 04:59 PM:

Google yields provenance...

http://redhead.tumblr.com/post/1406333025/how-do-i-slay-a-dragon-on-an-isle-near-where-i

#74 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 09:31 PM:

Could this be the Internet Oracle?
http://www.livinginternet.com/l/la_known_oracle.htm

#75 ::: Ginger ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:26 PM:

Palpatine @44: If that's even your real name...never mind, then -- found the original owner and got the manual, thanks!

But while I'm here, anyone got any new recipes for whomp-rat? I'm kind of tired of my aunt's stew.

#76 ::: thanate ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:26 PM:

L.S. @40:

Is your robot a Sirius Cybernetics model? If so, don't bother fixing it; you'll save yourself trouble by throwing it in the rubbish heap now.

--A. Dent

ISO tea. Please contact if you know the name or location of any non-demolished supplier!

#77 ::: thanate ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:30 PM:

ah, timing... oh well.

#78 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:45 PM:

I'm kind of tired of my aunt's stew.

Ungrateful wretch! Soon you'll WISH your aunt could make her stew for you, mark my words!

#79 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:50 PM:

Anybody got matches? It's really cold here, and I'm trying to build a fire.

#80 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 26, 2010, 10:58 PM:

Man, I totally thought I was in love, and me and my GF finally had sex, but today...wow. I just really hate her now. I think I'm gonna kill her, in fact, but not until I make her suffer.

#81 ::: David Goldfarb ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 01:49 AM:

Xopher@79: Go to hell.

#82 ::: Terry Karney ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 02:05 AM:

Anyone know how to put a sword into a stone? I pulled this one out by mistake and if I get found out there will be hell to pay.

AP

#83 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 02:23 AM:

@Eddie - Is there some way I can get a [expletive deleted] cup of tea on this ship?
- RMN

#84 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 02:47 AM:

Abi@58, not sure if you're asking where the reference is from or why the character keeps insisting on it. "N Sver Hcba Gur Qrrc", ol Ireabe Ivatr, jnf bar bs gur zber jbaqreshy obbxf bs vgf qrpnqr. Znal qvssrerag xvaqf bs npgvba naq qvfphffvba gnxr cynpr npebff n tnynkl-fcnaavat pbasyvpg, zhpu bs gurz bire na byq-snfuvbarq Argjbex znvyvat yvfg qvfphffvba orpnhfr gung'f jung'f srnfvoyr npebff infg qvfgnaprf naq vagrefcrpvrf ynathntr genafyngvba. Bar fcrnxre, Gjveyvc bs gur Zvfgf, bhg ba na rkgen-fybj pbaarpgvba, xrrcf vafvfgvat gung gur snpg gung uhznaf unir fvk yrtf rkcynvaf n ybg nobhg gur Oyvtug gurl qht hc gung'f vasrpgvat gur tnynkl.

I'd always assumed that gur Gjveyvc punenpgre jnf fvzcyl lbhe fgnaqneq qvfphffvba yvfg gebyy jub xrcg vafvfgvat ba uvf cnegvphyne jebat cvrpr bs vasbezngvba nobhg juvpu ur qvqa'g unir n oybbql pyhr, engure guna nalguvat zber pbzcyrk guna gung nf Gjveyvc@60 fhttrfgf. Gurl qba'g pnyy vg "Gur Arg Bs N Zvyyvba Yvrf" sbe abguvat.

#85 ::: TomB ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 11:41 AM:

Xopher @78: Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.

#86 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 02:22 PM:

Bill @84:

No, what I was asking for was what twirlip @60 explained. I know the source and the flavor, but the common insistence that the observation really is true was the bit I couldn't figure out.

But thank you for taking the time to contextualize in case it was not the case. And thank you, twirlip, for your explanation.

I actually learned something on this thread. The fact that this surprises me is...amusing.

#87 ::: lorax ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 02:38 PM:

Bob @73, check the date and the link from the bottom of that site; they got it from here.

#88 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 02:43 PM:

(psst...the text in the OP bears the same relationship to reality as the noises at the window here)

#89 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 03:32 PM:

TomB #85: Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.

A book that has been inside of a dog, if the pages are recoverable at all, is likely in dire need of museum-strength restoration work.

#90 ::: Owlmirror ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 05:14 PM:

Honourable and wise advisors,
All of the children in my village between the ages of eight and thirteen — but none younger or older — have fallen ill simultaneously. All of the adults are at a loss. What can be done?

-- L. Y., aka #10 O.

#91 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 06:23 PM:

Xopher@43, Harry, get back to school, and you're too young to get married (unless JKR writes another volume...)

#92 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 06:30 PM:

David 81: If you meant to reference my #80, save me a seat.

If you really meant #79, I'm afraid I've got my head stuck in the cupboard again. My reference was to Gb Ohvyq n Sver, ol Wnpx Ybaqba. Vg'f n oybbql qrcerffvat fgbel gung va zl ren nyy uvtu fpubby serfuzra jrer sbeprq gb ernq.

#93 ::: Michael I ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 06:38 PM:

Xopher@79

I COULD light the fire, but then everyone would know where I am. (sigh) I suppose it can't be helped.

#94 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 06:47 PM:

Bill 91: LOL! Good one. But actually I was referring to an older text. A MUCH older text.

#95 ::: Elliott Mason ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 07:14 PM:

Xopher@94: Yes, and I saw what you did back there. Don't think nobody noticed. It's going on your Permanent Record, mister. :->

A relevantly cryptic and geeky fanfic filk about your character's parents is available here (lyrics).

#96 ::: Singing Wren ::: (view all by) ::: October 27, 2010, 09:44 PM:

Suggestions needed: Things to do in Denver. All previous suggestions have assumed living visitors.

WZ

#97 ::: Rob Rusick ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 12:35 AM:

TomB @85: Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.

And inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

#98 ::: David Goldfarb ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 12:46 AM:

Xopher@92: Oops, yes, I meant 80 not 79. Sorry. I got the reference in 79 but didn't have a suitable pithy reply.

#99 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 08:54 AM:

@AP - Well, I've got this oscillation overthruster. Might not do exactly what you want, though. --BB I know it's only rock and roll but I like it!

#100 ::: Bill Stewart ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 10:34 AM:

Carrie@99
@BB - Go for it! Make-a the ganglia twitch! - EL@princeton

#101 ::: Jacque ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 06:38 PM:

Singing Wren @96: Suggestions needed: Things to do in Denver. All previous suggestions have assumed living visitors.

Well, if you're going to be fussy about it, I don't expect one needs to be living to participate in this.

#102 ::: Lila ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 10:35 PM:

Owlmirror @ #90, have they been eating mulberry leaves? If so, pay close attention to any poetry they may recite. (You should take this advice with a grain of salt, as there is a slight flaw in my character.)

#103 ::: Magenta Griffith ::: (view all by) ::: October 28, 2010, 11:18 PM:

Xopher @43

I figured you were referring gb Pnva, va Trarfvf.

#104 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 04:21 AM:

Lila @ #102:

Ha, that sounds familiar. I keep meeting this oracle who gives me advice that doesn't mean anything until it's too late, and if I complain he says "Don't blame me, I'm just passing on what the leaves told me".

If you have any advice for dealing with the slimy little so-and-so, I'll be glad to hear it.

D.
--
Remember Tunnel 17!

#105 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 04:27 AM:

TexAnne @ #33:

I can provide all the help you'll ever need, but it'll cost you.

-- anon@youdontgetmethat.easi.ly

#106 ::: patgreene ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 01:01 PM:

@F.D., 41: Have you tried talking (really talking, not merely standing around looking insufferable) to any of the local girls? They might have some insight into what might help your situation.

@GS -- I'd be wary of letting your family see you in that condition. Especially your father.

#107 ::: praisegod barebones ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 01:41 PM:

Theophylact@69: having been recommended to your site by one FV, I'm wondering if you have any tips for locating the songs of spring. JK

#108 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 04:47 PM:

Magenta 103: Just so.

#109 ::: Bruce Cohen (Speaker to Managers) ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 05:28 PM:

I love the smell of warm fewmets in the morning. Have a cup of Ferret Coffee?

#110 ::: Lee ::: (view all by) ::: October 29, 2010, 09:28 PM:

Paul, #104: You might try talking with the Bone Mother. Sometimes the intersection of two equally-opaque oracles provides useful information.

#111 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2010, 01:16 AM:

I keep looking for stray adventurers to eat, but there don't seem to be as many any more. Where can I find some?

-- A Grue

#112 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2010, 01:48 AM:

Grue @111 -- In the dark, on the stairs (at The Palace in Fitzroy).
-WPA

#113 ::: Paul A. ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2010, 01:10 PM:

A. Grue @ #111:

This time of year, the place you're most likely to find adventurers is at IFComp.

#114 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2010, 02:29 PM:

A Grue @111:

Judging by what I've just seen cycling after nightfall, you should consider moving to the Netherlands. Plenty of cyclists without lights.

#115 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2010, 06:42 PM:

Grue@111 -- Sorry, but the Wumpus is ahead of you in line. You'll have to wait your turn like everybody else.

#116 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2010, 06:56 PM:

Grue, I'd hang out in the maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Or the other maze where they're all different.

#117 ::: Matthew Evans ::: (view all by) ::: December 11, 2010, 05:19 PM:

@singingWren #96

It is generally the norm to Knife your bosses son in Denver, providing it is done in a suitable location, i.e a convertible outside a bowling alley.

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