If it weren't for the cat, I could sleep with the door closed.

If it weren't for the cat, the butter would be soft.

If it weren't for the cat, my father wouldn't have survived infancy. At least, he thought so.

If it weren't for the cat, we wouldn't have had kittens.

There are stories behind each of those, and only the last is obvious....

If it weren't for the cat, the mice would play the gamelan.

And I wouldn't be up so early if it weren't for the mice playing the gamelan.

Because we haven't got a cat.

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I don't know what it means. I post this for the information of any interested persons, or gnomes.

The same is happening with this message.

*but we wouldn't be without her. And we'd prefer it if I was writing "if it wasn't for the cats", even though there was even less room for humans when we were a proper two-humans-two-cats household.

Would their lownesses care for some double chocolate stout?

Good kitty!

I have eaten
the hamster
that was in
the tank

and which
you were probably
keeping
as a pet

Forgive me
he was delicious
so meaty
and so slow

If it weren't for the cat, all those mice would still be cluttering up Purgatory.

If it weren't for the cat, Europeans would still be using ferrets (who are comparatively stinky) to control rodents.

(Xopher, you may not be getting into the proper spirit for this.)

[insert baffled feline look]

[Fragano, you're getting gnomed for three spaces in a row. Check your name; I think they may be up there somewhere. -- Cario Borisi, Duty Gnome]

If it weren't for the cat, I would have slept through the night without getting too warm in bed.

Why did the cat move with things strapped around its body? My cats have all collapsed when a sock (or similar) is tied loosely around them. They usually manage to stagger if something is just draped over them.

OK, we'll assume that with extensive training, the cat would move with things strapped around it. Having gone to that effort, why didn't they add a top layer of something that looked like cat fur?

If it weren't for the cat, I'd have fewer scars. (Wrong kind of cat?)

--Dave, and the course of future comedy would have been very different

(Also, about 30% of what goes into our rubbish bin, as opposed to the recyling or compost bin, is kitty litter/kitty poop).

I have to say, though, my cat never did as much damage as my dog has (though the dog is more targeted -- always the bedclothes). And both of them together haven't done as much damage as my rabbit did!