somebody. somebody bad is my guess, seems to have posted a new
aristocrats version to the sickipedia -
http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php?title=The_Aristocrats
Just in case it gets deleted I will reproduce it here, for uhm
historical purposes -
QUOTED TEXT:
authoritative version
That above. I call it the Amateurs.
Here's how the pros do it.
A man comes into a talent agents office. The talent agent asks
"What's your name?" The man says "George Bush," the talent agent
says "That's a pretty funny name, bet you've got a dirty act, let's
see what you can do."
So the guy wastes no time, he goes straight to work, he rips off
his clothes and has underneath an aviators outfit with a couple of
athletic socks stuffed in the crotch, two of this friends come
sprinting in - Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. Then they go invade
Iraq, as quickly as possible they pile up a pyramid of dying iraqui
boys. Rumsfeld fucks the boys, comes in their asses, then throws
them to Cheney who sucks the semen and shit out from their assholes
while shouting "I never drink wine" All the while Bush prances
around at the bottom of the pyramid doing extremely artful stumbles
and every now and then lifting up the bullet riddled corpses while
saying, goodness, I can't find any weapons of mass destruction
here. Dick Cheney hears this and pulls out his cock, and shoots
Bush in the face with it "sorry," he says "I thought you were a
bird."
Suddenly crawling out from underneath the pyramid of dead boys is
Tony Blair and Anders Fogh Rasmussen of Denmark, they are both
naked and they have the severed penis of a dead boy in their mouths
and are playing a tug of war with it. As they do this Bush starts
of racing between the naked prime ministers and fucking them in the
ass, while drinking straight vodka and vomitting on their
backsides. Whenever he fucks one or the other, that one says "It is
just anti-americanism not to want to be fucked up the ass by George
Bush".
Meanwhile as all this is happening, in another part of the talent
agents office a water pipe bursts and starts flooding, the people
who live in the less expensive offices under the talent agent start
floating up because they are dead. Bush immediately starts taking
advantage of this and works the dead corpses into the act. He
starts fucking the corpses of the dead black people that were in
the lower offices, as rescue workers try to get in he and Dick
Cheney has them pose behind them in formation while not doing any
real rescue work. Soon everyone in the lower offices is dead, in
order not to have this decrease from his own growing pyramid of
dead iraqui boys that Donald Rumsfeld is still fucking with cyborg
intensity, he stacks up the dead flood victims, says there's 800 of
them, although there is evidently more, and he and Dick Cheney
starts eating the excess.
At this point the talent agent has had enough, he starts yelling
stop it, stop it I can't stand anymore of this act. i thought I'd
seen every filthy act in show business but you crazy fucks should
be in jail. "
Dick Cheney says "We know where you live, and we know who you been
talking to."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we are the aristocrats, your natural rulers, you dirty
little plebe!"
Anders Fogh Rasmussen stands up and says "Hey now that reminds me
of a joke!"
"Oh well," says the talent agent "I am always on the lookout for
new material"
"Well this happened some months ago, I was walking down Bredgade in
Denmark and saw Pia Kjærsgaard and started kissing her
ass."
There was a long pause.
The talent agent says "What's the joke?"
Anders Fogh says "I am. Hasn't anyone figured that out yet?"
George Bush says "Jesus, I hate them Germans."
... Please note that this is actually part of a much longer routine
that also involves religious-based home schooling in the U.S and
vaudevillian comedy routines on a planet populated by disgusting
Cthulhu like creatures. But I don't have the time to write all that
down now.
END QUOTED TEXT
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