And on another, completely unrelated topic, a cry for help.
A small rodent apparently chewed into our wall and entered mouse heaven. While the initial overpowering stench of death has faded, an awful fustiness lingers downstairs. We've tried several air thingies to no avail. I've been forced to move my daughter's baby shower to a restaurant. (Second grandson, will be named Gabriel Nathaniel. Thank you.)
Please e-mail with advice--short of ripping out walls--thank you much much much.
postalval@yahoo.com
NPR news broadcasts now go something like this; "In Iraq today, ten troops were killed..."
Troops? I sit in my car, grind my teeth, then say, "Those were SOLDIERS, Americans, PEOPLE, damn it!"
How nice. Send them to an unjustified war, then depersonalize their deaths.
I have the honor of living in central Florida, and at this time of year my thoughts turn to . . . backing up my writing. I do this the easy, cheap way. I copy and paste it into an email, then send it to myself.
Soooo much easier to redo the formatting than to retype everything from a hard copy, especially when you'd have to retype an entire novel. And it gives me peace of mind should we be forced to evacuate.
I also keep my jewelry in a ziplock, but that's of much less value to me. :-)
(I can see using some of these in parody....maybe a new VP exercise.)
#20 is my favorite.
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high
school essays.These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4 She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
You've heard of amoral--how about Arepublican?
as in;
Arepublicans, if asked to protect the sanctity of marriage, would instinctively start with their own.
Arepublicans know that Jesus is not on their speed dial.
Arepublicans are more interested in strengthening what the American flag stands for than pursuing the few citizens who burn it in protest.
Arepublicans are more concerned about the needs of impoverished living children than what transpires in a Planned Parenthood clinic.
Arepublicans are adverse to worshipping on Sunday and, then, deciding who to hit with a bunker buster bomb on Monday.
Arepublicans still believe that a Presidential leak should only occur in a bathroom.
Arepublicans can pronounce "nuclear."
From here
A great summary of the Bush Administration, in my opinion, here.
Why Spielberg Makes Bad SF--As reported in 'Ansible'
STEVEN SPIELBERG knows how to have fun: `Science
fiction for me is a vacation, a vacation away from all the rules of
narrative logic, a
vacation away from physics and physical science.
/ It just lets you leave
all the rules behind and just kind of fly.'
(Reuters interview) [LR]
'Grey sole', hmm.
Grey soul sounds like a day without writing.
Congratulations, Teresa. No shame in feeling 'fangirly'.
My website was mentioned a few years ago in the very last line of an article that ran on pg 69 of the NY Post--my site rec'd 38,000 hits that day.
And the proud momma ordered a copy of the paper and has the article in her scrapbook. There you go.
Ooooh, anybody wanna see some Scientology cartoons?
(All right, I'm very late to the discussion and this is a shameless promotion of my website--but every hit on my site makes David Miscavige's mouth foam just a teensy bit more...)
Ooooh, anybody wanna see some Scientology cartoons?
http://www.scientology-kills.org/laugh.htm
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|---|---|
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