Hell is waiting 90 minutes in line so your carpooler can get the
souvenir T-shirt.
Hell, Michigan, is on the way between home and work, if we take the
really really scenic route. It's not much of a town, with just
three businesses. My carpooler Steve announced yesterday that we
should stop in, so we could say we'd been in Hell on 6/6/06. The
Screams store, which sells ice cream and Hell kitsch, was not
prepared for the crush. There were about 50 people in front of us
in the line at about 9:30 am, and more were pouring in behind us
all the time. And it appeared that the T-shirts were late in
arriving, as the line didn't move until some guys showed up with
cartons. (And then they were having trouble with their Visa phone
line, which dropped the authorization attempt every time someone
called the store asking for information.)
While we were waiting in line, the guy from Fox Channel 2 (Detroit
Fox affiliate) did a couple of feeds right next to us, and Steve
and I were picked up as the camera scanned the line. On the first
feed, the reporter held up a large thermometer and reported,
reasonably correctly, that the temperature in Hell was 82 F.
Apparently that wasn't sexy enough; for the second feed, somehow
they gimmicked the thermometer and announced and displayed a
temperature in Hell of 100 F. The Fox team also had a dry-ice
machine to try and juice up the visuals with a little fog. There's
undoubtedly a moral in here somewhere.
Lots of media people, both print and TV; a mix of bikers, kids in
goth-ish looking clothes, and middle-aged to elderly folks. Lots of
red posters for the movie THE OMEN. After FINALLY getting the
T-shirts, Steve and I wandered over to the Dam Site Inn for a late
brunch: they weren't staffed to handle the crowds either. We got
the day's special: pulled pork BBQ, fries and drink for $6.66.
(Frankly, the steakburgers we saw delivered to other tables looked
better.) When we left shortly before noon, some loud rock music had
started up, and we found parked cars lining the two-lane road for
quite some distance. I imagine the party will get pretty crazy
later tonight. The authorities had stationed a fire engine &
paramedics there, and police cars cruised by in a non-threatening
way.
You can find the T-shirt design on Ebay, if you are curious.
I hate to correct the esteemed Mr. Kyger. I am not certain what the
area code of Hell is, but I'm sure that it is not 616; that area
code is the western edge of Michigan, way west of Hell. Most likely
Hell is in the 734 area code, along with the neighboring village of
Pinckney.
-- Live (almost!) from Hell, this is Ken Josenhans, for MAKING
LIGHT
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