The most recent 20 comments posted to Electrolite by Xopher:

Problem is, they won't work outside those boundaries. Nothing about my world can penetrate their world. The things I say, the facts that I present, the impeccable arguments I make are all equally ineffective. What I say hits the boundary of their world, and slides right off.

I would characterize this as selective learned stupidity. This is a kind of stupidity that has nothing to do with any lack of native intelligence; as you say, many of these people have fine minds within their frames. However, they've chosen, with what degree of freedom can be argued, to reject all information incompatible with their current knowledge base and system.

I have a lot of trouble breaking my own frame enough to deal with such people. In mine, raised as I was in a house led by a man of science (whatever other problems I may have had with him), this is called selecting your data to suit your theory, and is a crime against science, and therefore against humanity. So when I notice someone doing it, even if it's on a completely personal matter, I become furious.

In case it wasn't clear from the above, I'm well aware that this is a flaw in me. I know full well that not every decision is based on science, that not everyone thinks scientifically by instinct (I knew the scientific method long before I was taught it in school), and that you don't have to be "doing science" all the time. But for me, laying down that way of thinking is a deliberate, conscious act requiring a light trance to achieve.

To reach them, therefore, requires a person more tolerant than I find myself able to be. I'm sure I can find other ways to contribute to the progressive cause, and I certainly hope there are people who can do this part, but I just have to keep my distance, or be an active detriment to the cause I want to promote.

(These are things a person could very well say with biting sarcastic intent. I'm being perfectly sincere, however.)

Hey, we all snit once in a while. It would be hypocritical to be hypercritical of your snitting...and besides, if no one snitted, where would we get our nice snitted gloves and sweaters?

Please ignore this comment. I'm going to bed now, I swear. In fact, do not read this sentence...oops, too late. Glrg bonfets blrlro ombita shlub.

I’d just like to express my sympathy for all the suffering in the world except that of [insert name of individual here].

Reminds me of an old cartoon from the New Yorker: "I feel that my love for Brother Valentine is less than my love for anyone else in the entire world."

Reminds me of a joke someone (Teresa?) once told me: a Dominican, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit use arcane means to ask which order is most beloved of Christ.

The answer:

"My sons: I love ALL my orders exactly equally. Signed, Jesus Christ, SJ."

We all feel these things more intensely when we feel a personal connection. This is how humans are. It's not that we don't care about total strangers with whom we have nothing in common; it's just that we get numb after a while (and a good thing, too; how long could we remain even marginally functional if not?). The person being a member of our tribe just slices right through that, and brings back that intimate sense of "it could happen to ME and those I care for" that we often lose.

I too am sick of being told, when I'm worried or grieving, "why aren't you worried or grieving over these other folks? And these? And..." Because like all humans I have a limited capacity for grief (probably for worry too, though I have yet to find my limit there).

It's not just when we feel a personal connection, either. This morning I saw a picture of a very attractive man and then found out he'd been paralyzed in an accident. I felt the sadness of this much more acutely because he was attractive. That's not rational, fair, or virtuous; it's just human. And if it makes me a bad person, then there are no good people (and therefore it doesn't).

Kevin - maybe because you think about the sound of what you write, especially when there's strong emotional content. This is a good way to write things that sound better than run-of-the-mill, but not such a good way to spell...

I have that problem too, as you might have guessed (or even observed). And I'm a pretty good speller when I'm not worked up.

Anna,

I was with you right up until your last line. I'm glad we're all part of the same tribe. And even the pain is part of being human, which, overall, we rejoice in.

These words from the Dark Aphrodite: "If you love, you will mourn. This is not a risk; it is a certainty - because all relationships end in either separation or death."

Grieving is part of being human. Without grief there would be no compassion, as a Navajo (I think) legend says about Death. I don't enjoy feeling that little bite I feel when I hear about someone dying (what if that were one of my friends? Or my brother? How must his mother feel? etc.), but I wouldn't wish it away, not for anything, because without it I would be lessened.

Probably I'm responding to something you didn't mean. If so, ignore this. It just pushed my button.

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