I saw the story in this morning's Toronto Star--and no fears that they're being too balanced there. They hit all the big quotes, and talked to at least one organization that had nothing nice to say about him.
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/214305
What do you know. I'm a man. Again.
(I say "again" because I always come up male on these internet test thingies. I'm pretty sure I'm female, though--unless sudden advances in biology now allow men to bear children.)
Oh, this made me laugh.
It's too bad we don't have an army worth speaking of. Though I hear we're buying a helicopter this year. And the Canadian Pony Troops are supposed to be pretty terrifying.
I've been a lurker for a few months now, but this one inspired me to get out of the closet.
In my highschool, we too knew what "jail-bait" meant--and we treated it as a joke. The idea that on our sixteenth birthdays we would suddenly attain maturity and be protected from making bad decisions and/or no longer be harmed from semi-coercive sexual situations with persos more than a few years older than ourselves was considered laughable. All my close girlfriends in highschool, in fact, were "victims" of statutory rape under the letter of the law. None considered themselves victimized, coerced or harmed. Every freshman girl I knew was dating someone at least a few years older than herself. This might have been questionable; but the relationships were real, long-lasting (2 years +, with or without sex), consensual, and based on respect and affection.
To declare that this is legally impossible or harms the younger person by definition is to treat young teenagers, IMO, as gradeschoolers. The purpose of adolescence is to learn independence, which involves learning decision-making skills. Postponing this process until after some magic age upon which decision-making skills will somehow magically appear is harmful to teenagers.
My parents met when my mother was 16 and my dad 21. They got married a year later--my mother was still in highschool, my Dad about to graduate from university. Thirty-six years later, they're still together, happily. To decide that their relationship would have been illegal if they hadn't been married, or if they'd met a year earlier? Bizarre. (Mind you, I don't think it's necessarily a good thing that my Mom got married so young; but that she knew her own mind and was acting from her own convictions, and not under the coercion of my father, I have no doubt. She is a person of very strong will.)
I, too, have several times been involved with boys/men considerably older than myself (my husband is ten years older than I am--we met when I was 22). and yes, sometimes I made poor decisions; but those decisions were mine. I was not harmed by the people I was involved with, I was not coerced.
I simply can't wrap my mind around the concept that the law should exist to aid us in our personal, sexual decision-making. I can understand that being able to say "we can't, because..." is useful, in some situations; but I don't think the problem is most usefully addressed by a law. Anymore than a law compelling highschool seniors to take biology, arts and computer sciences is the ideal solution to teenagers making poor educational choices, or a law compelling people to save 10% of their income is the ideal solution to a culture of debt.
My daughter is only three, so who knows what will change in eleven years; but my first answer is to say that I would much rather her date a caring, sincere and compassionate senior than a jerk her own age. I hope that I'll respond to the person, when the time comes (if it does), and not the demographics.
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| 2006 | 1 |
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