The most recent 20 comments posted to Making Light by jess a.:

LizzyL @162: But I get concerned when folks (Jess A., in earlier posts) start talking about getting "the community" involved, and about "outing" people, and you did praise Jess A.'s responses in one of your posts. Getting a community involved in responding to behavior like Lori Drew's can go in all kinds of unforeseen directions, including physical violence, which will solve absolutely nothing.

Please note -- I said that I hoped their community knew who these adults internet-bullying a local child was, and what the end result was. I did not say that they should be outed on the internet; and I certainly didn't say that I thought their community should exact some kind of revenge (physical or otherwise).

I think it's important that this community -- described in the media reports as tight knit and small, the kind of group who car pools and even vacations together -- knows that one set of parents in their midst thought that this sort of behavior was somehow appropriate. Further, that this mother publicly states that she doesn't feel "as guilty" as she might otherwise.

These are not the kind of people I would want to continue vacationing with, or that I would want caring for my child at a sleep-over or some such thing. If they were local business owners (and apparently they are), I wouldn't want to give them my business, either. That's all I meant; I don't think I stated or implied anything more than that.

Dave @86: I'm as revolted as everyone else by what they did, but doesn't this smack of vigilantism?

That's why I said (way up @49), that their community should be made aware of their involvement. Which is not to say that every average person with internet access ought to be mailing/emailing/calling them on the phone to berate them or exact some kind of "punishment".

If their community knows, or has known for a while (since Megan's death?), and this still hasn't been a problem for Ms. Drew & whoever else may have been involved, then I would hope that there is some sort of justice somewhere. I can't understand why someone who behaves in this way has been allowed by their community to just ... keep on, business as usual.

Gah. Not sure how my comment got posted three times, but I do apologize.

There is just so much awfulness in this story, but for some reason, this quote jumps out at me. Regarding the Anonymous Mother:

(She) felt this incident contributed to Megan’s suicide, but she did not feel ‘as guilty’ because at the funeral she found out ‘Megan had tried to commit suicide before.’

So she felt a little guilty, but not "as guilty" after she heard some gossip at the funeral? Somehow hearing some piece of information that lead her to believe Megan was troubled before absolves her of guilt in this situation? The whole thought of justifying this behavior to yourself in this way is ... well, like the rest of this situation, it's sickening.

Whether or not this group of people has any criminal action taken against them, they do deserve to be outed to their community. It boggles my mind that you can, as an adult, engage in this kind of bullying of a child, and there are no consequences, legal or social, to be had. (Short of a broken foosball table and a lawn-job.)

There is just so much awfulness in this story, but for some reason, this quote jumps out at me. Regarding the Anonymous Mother:

(She) felt this incident contributed to Megan’s suicide, but she did not feel ‘as guilty’ because at the funeral she found out ‘Megan had tried to commit suicide before.’

So she felt a little guilty, but not "as guilty" after she heard some gossip at the funeral? Somehow hearing some piece of information that lead her to believe Megan was troubled before absolves her of guilt in this situation? The whole thought of justifying this behavior to yourself in this way is ... well, like the rest of this situation, it's sickening.

Whether or not this group of people has any criminal action taken against them, they do deserve to be outed to their community. It boggles my mind that you can, as an adult, engage in this kind of bullying of a child, and there are no consequences, legal or social, to be had. (Short of a broken foosball table and a lawn-job.)

There is just so much awfulness in this story, but for some reason, this quote jumps out at me. Regarding the Anonymous Mother:

(She) felt this incident contributed to Megan’s suicide, but she did not feel ‘as guilty’ because at the funeral she found out ‘Megan had tried to commit suicide before.’

So she felt a little guilty, but not "as guilty" after she heard some gossip at the funeral? Somehow hearing some piece of information that lead her to believe Megan was troubled before absolves her of guilt in this situation? The whole thought of justifying this behavior to yourself in this way is ... well, like the rest of this situation, it's sickening.

Whether or not this group of people has any criminal action taken against them, they do deserve to be outed to their community. It boggles my mind that you can, as an adult, engage in this kind of bullying of a child, and there are no consequences, legal or social, to be had. (Short of a broken foosball table and a lawn-job.)

Beth Meacham @ #31:

Did you look for Sharyn, you know, in your heart?

The world is, indeed, fascinatingly small -- and I think it's been made moreso by the internet. Best wishes to the bride & groom!

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