The most recent 20 comments posted to Making Light by A.R.Yngve:

I will say this ONE THING in praise of Bush: He dodges thrown objects quite well. Instead of becoming a politician, what occupation should he have chosen to suit that talent? (Dodgeball champion?)

OK, so Obama closes down Gitmo and reverses all pro-torture policies. Good.

But.

What about the torturers? They'll still be around? Will they be put on trial and say, "I only followed orders"? Or (more likely) will they be quietly paid off to resign and keep their mouths shut?

The only Deep Thought that springs to mind is...
In yo' FACE, Dubya!
;-)

The basic rules for how to create bullshit verb tenses:

1st person verb:
"I dress"

2nd person:
"YOU dress up"

And so on:
"HE/SHE puts on some rags"
"THEY look so 90s"

This can easily be applied to news:

- WE bail out the economy
- THEY take over the economy

- WE investigate Blackwater controversy
- THEY massacre innocent civilians

At this point in life, I expect truth to routinely be stranger than fiction.

So when the whole "Who Killed JFK" issue is settled, hopefully in my lifetime, it'll be something truly bizarre and out-there, like...

2/10 on the bizarro scale:
"Lee Harvey Oswald was working as an agent not of Soviet Russia, as you might have expected, but Turkey. The Turkish military was pissed off that JFK's deal with Chrustjov involved dismantling the missile bases in Turkey."

5/10 on the bizarro scale:
"JFK ordered his own assassination to make sure the space program wouldn't be shot down by political enemies, but would be pursued in honor of his memory."

9/10 on the bizarro scale:
"JFK never existed. The victim was an actor playing a part, and was killed when he threatened to expose the fraud."
:-P

And the world breathes a sigh of relief.

Thank you, America, for saving the world -- and my little son -- from the prospect of President Palin.

When a candidate acts like she was endorsed by God, then I expect an OFFICIAL endorsement:

Chorus of angels, parting of the heavens, giant hand descending and pointing directly at Elizabeth Dole, thundering voice declaring "THOU ART ENDORSED BY THE LORD THY GOD."

In related news:
"Nurglon Supporters Claim Obama Is A Witch"
http://aryngve.blogspot.com/2008/10/nurglon-supporters-claim-barack-obama.html
---------------------
Sean Inannity: Joe-Bob... you and your friends, die-hard Nurglon supporters, are saying that Barack Obama is a witch.

Joe-Bob Sispak: Yeah!

(Voices in crowd: A witch! A witch! Burn'im! Burn the witch!)

S: But how do you *know* he's a witch?

J: He turned me into a newt!

S: A newt?

J: (Pause) I got better...

S: It does look like Obama is going to win the election. Do you expect your candidate, Nurglon, to bow out gracefully?

J: No! Nurglon must win! She's the only one who can save us now!

S: From the economic crisis?

J: No, ya dope! From the elves!

S: The elves??

J: Yeah! See, Nurglon's been givin' us a few hints who's really behind them bad loans and risin' prices and stuff! It's all the work of a global conspiracy of elves! But Nurglon's gonna eat all the elves and then the problems are going away! Nurglon forever!!

(Crowd cheers)
---------------

I've noticed that some people are not "ideologically committed" to their racism. You know the kind: the inconsistent xenophobe.

They will spout racist remarks about large groups of people they don't know ... but are still able to make friends who are dark-skinned or simply "foreign"... and NOT think of these friends as part of the same vaguely defined "Others" they talk about in such sweeping terms.

So: Is there among this type a "Reverse Bradley Effect"? People who say they would never vote for a "black candidate"... but actually do so anyway, once they've mentally separated Barack Obama from the murky "Them" in their minds?
:-S

"Bush went for the pay cap, since it is symbolic instead of pragmatic, but I was worried that demanding equity for the bailout money would seem too Swedish."

If the Swedish government tried to pull off a stunt like this bailout deal, it'd be laughed out of the country. Swedes are very touchy about the government fooling around with the taxpayers' hard-earned money.

"Ja, to save the country you must give one man over 700 billion kronas of your money to spend as he sees fit -- and you are not allowed to find out what exactly he does with all that money of yours!"

But what would *Nurglon* do...?
--------------------------------
Sean Inannity: Do you support the bailout plan and giving extraordinary powers to the Treasury?

Nurglon: NO. ALL POWER SHALL BE MINE.

S: And how do you propose solving the financial crisis?

N: THE DOLLAR SHALL BE REPLACED WITH A NEW CURRENCY, THE VALUE OF WHICH IS SET BY AN ABSOLUTE STANDARD.

S: And what standard is that?

N: BLOOD.
-----------------

Move over, Palin! There's an even folksier, more family-valuesy, plain-speaking candidate in town:


It's Nurglon (r)!

Do get well, Teresa.

“If nature is going to come and get us, bring it on!â€

Well.

I read this book "The Way of Myth" (a collection of interviews with Joseph Campbell), where he said something that stuck in my mind: We have forgotten how often people once used to get mad at the gods. It wasn't always that they saw nature as beyond all reproach.

When they were struck by nature's misfortunes -- storms, earthquakes, plagues, failed crops, dead livestock -- they assumed that the gods "did" this to them.

But they did not automatically react with "What have we done to deserve this?" (Is that something we've been conditioned to say?)

Anger can also be a form of honest despair... like Job's complaint that God was being unfair to him.

But we've come a long way since Job. Now it's come to this:
“If nature is going to come and get us, bring it on!â€

Ah, the wisdom of the ages.

I promised I wasn't going to say "They'll Kill Us All"...

...but seeing this (link below), I'm starting to think: Where is the best place to build a fallout shelter for my family, where do I store all the food -- and will the living envy the dead?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/11/sarah-palins-charlie-gibs_n_125772.html

Why is it, that every election another word is turned (by Republicans) into something negative?

"Liberal" used to be a neutral term.
So did "elite", or "community organizer".

I fully anticipate the next word being turned into a pejorative term:
SNEERING VOICE-OVER: "Obama is a *Democrat* who believes in *Democracy*..."

#35, Nina Katarina wrote:
"What is this country turning into?"

Russia, but with some other guy in Vladimir Putin's place.

I'm kidding. It couldn't happen.

Right?

I think the American public is being deliberately distracted to focus on the candidate's personal life and family. It serves to distract voters from what's really important: Policy.

Judging by the way Major Palin ousted city officials on dubious grounds, would a President Palin act the same?

I honestly do not care about her kids specifically -- they do not exist independently of everything else. They would be living under the same President as the rest of America -- not to mention the world...

So Palin can fire a gun. Good. But can she negotiate? What, precisely, will she be doing as Vice President of the United States -- or President, if McCain dies?

Thanks all, for explaining to me the succession rules.

Now, I'm not going to shout "They'll Kill Us All" about an eventual McCain-Palin presidency -- I still remember how people went on and on about how Ronald Reagan would start World War III, and the Cold War was a lot more dangerous than current times -- but man, that's one bizarro ticket. (Though Giuliani would have been even worse.)

OK, suppose John McCain is elected President (through a series of random accidents, race-baiting campaigns and a few "hanging chads"), then dies of age-related causes (cancer, heart attack, what-have-you)... and Palin finds herself suddenly being thrust into the limelight as President and Commander-in-Chief.

Questions:

1. Who is going to be her pick for Vice President?

2. The Russian leader (i.e. Putin) decides she's a pushover and invades Kazakhstan.
What does Palin do (or not)?

3. Pakistan is taken over by Fundamentalists who threaten all-out nuclear war with India.
What does Palin do (or not)?

4. Why couldn't Michael Palin be Vice President instead? (I mean, if you're going to have a Silly Party then why not make it properly silly...)

"The level of violence appears to be far beyond a reasonable response to the Georgian military action."

People prefer to be slaughtered reasonably.

Comment statistics for A.R.Yngve on the Making Light blog

Total: 202 comments. View all these comments on a single page. (May take some time to load.)