HP (#10), it's a matrix. New York Magazine (from which both XKCD and Entertainment Weekly have drawn inspiration for their versions) calls their chart the Approval Matrix, although I suspect others used matrices for snark before them (it seems like something that would have been a natural for Spy magazine back in the day).
Sounds like grapefruit is feeling bitter.
Dave Bell: Did you by any chance catch the Good Eats: Down and Out in Paradise special? Alton Brown ably demonstrates the folly and frustration involved in trying to open a coconut.
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