I was going to write something about how any text overworked will
lose clarity. I don't think it's anything specific to wikis. It
probably happens the most there because wikis practically beg you
to overwork its text.
In this case though, that it was poorly translated from the French
sounds more plausible (definitely more interesting). I was
wondering about the odd use of "reunion", and now I know. Cool.
#17: I think world building in SF stories is an analogous problem.
You're trying to get the reader up to speed without also ejecting
him out of the text.
The problem isn't so much having long sentences as how you build
those sentences though. The long sentence that opens the
NationMaster.com version works. I think it's because, despite its
length, its structure isn't very complex. i.e., it's easy to parse
linearly. It doesn't bury important information in a subordinate
clause which modifies the adverb modifying the adjective modifying
the sentence's object, for example.
The current Wikipedia version actually has shorter sentences, but
it's less clear. It doesn't present information when you want it.
(e.g., do we really need the definition of "salonnière"
while we're still learning what a salon is?)
Oh dear. I think something both Teresa and Debra Doyle said to me
at VP two years ago just made sense...
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