Is is a downer for a man-child to express his ambivalence for the holiday season? Hope not.
Hate: presents, family, candy canes, egg nog, wreaths, a trunk full of crap. Family.
Like: snow, darkness, cold-ass wind, single-malt scotch whiskey.
Love: my far-away friends. My ex-girlfriend, still.
Want: a ten-foot tall firecracker.
I literally cannot fathom writing a letter to your wife or husband to be read upon your death. How can someone do that? But then, how can you not?
That hurts.
My dad fought in Korea. From what I can tell, it's closer to WWII than Vietnam, not necessarily in reality, but in the minds of the soldiers and the stories our culture tells about it. It seems generational, too, this mindset.
My dad thinks every war that America pursues is a *good* war - Iraq, Panama, Vietnam could have been won, etc. He's just very pro-military and pro-America. I think this is wrong and dangerous, but I don't argue with him. I let him think that I basically agree with him, out of respect for what he has seen.
It's a mess of feelings. I mean, a military that unquestioningly enacts the nation's policies is necessary - leaving the political decisions to the elected. But at the same time, I get this feeling that if the world's soldiers would just refuse to do this anymore, we could stop. Anyway, I know that's ridiculous.
But the truth is, no matter what a soldier thinks about a war, or the politicians say, or what we believe, there are those who actually die. Their lives end, right there on some nowhere street. Reading that list of soldiers in the article, with the tiniest little description of each; their hometown, family left behind...that was too much for me.
And we live in a democracy. Even if it doesn't feel like it, this is what we've come up with, and it is a country ruled by and for, us. We are responsible. People have and continue to die for, and because of, us. And I want to thank them. And to say I'm sorry.
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