The most recent 20 comments posted to Making Light by davey:

Further notes to Kim's, since the neilgaiman.com bulletin boards are another place where I lurk and occasionally post. (Hi Kim!) It's much more of a free-for-all than here (for example); since it's bb style and anyone can post a new topic, the times when almost everyone is reading and posting in the same 2-3 focused discussions are much less frequent there than in ML.

In two years I've seen one recurrent banning (there's a persistent troll, he's come in multiple successive times under new names and accounts but his posting style and attack style are so distinctive that some of the regulars can now spot him in 3-4 posts, at which point the moderators make various checks to determine probable-identity and when they're reasonably sure it's him he's banned again), and one specific banning for continued inappropriate and intentionally abusive language after several requests to be more civil. There have also been a few situations in which a discussion has become intensely heated and closer to personal attack than most of the participants are comfortable with, and a poster has agreed to go away and cool off for a while after off-line discussion with the lead moderator.

The basic rule seems to be 'be civil and behave as if you respect everyone else's opinion'. As Kim notes, there's a designated Flame Wars section where that doesn't apply. (Even there, the moderators keep an eye on discussion, but it's agreed that everyone enters FW topics at their own risk.) There are fairly hard rules against obscene language and frontal-nudity displays in all topics; the latter was discussed and resolved on the boards--Neil probably remembers a query from the mod about it--because many of the European posters couldn't figure out what some of the US posters were fussing about. (I think the issue arose when someone put a photo of a local advertisement into their post to illustrate a point, and it was artistically excellent and no-buts explicit. The final decision was that photos are out but links with labels are fine.)

Also, as Kim said, it's largely self-regulated. The lead mod is generally willing to let people hang themselves in the eyes of the regulars before he'll step in. The more-recently-appointed second mod is more conservative but he's been called on it a few times and has relaxed a bit lately.

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I'm realizing that I evaded the probable when-are-you-having-children pressure by being married at 25 and divorced at 27, 300 miles from my immediate family. (I didn't visit often, and still don't). My parents and other relatives always asked if I were seeing anyone, and welcomed the gentlemen friends I occasionally brought to celebrations, but that early divorce apparently bought me breathing space. The potential pressure is long past: I was 36 at my second wedding (children wouldn't have been impossible, but my folks didn't even ask); both of my sisters have children, and two of my three first cousins; and all of my grandparents are dead.

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Karen, that's a heavy load. I hope it eases for you and your family soon.

Mike, we now have more than enough to share with those we care about, and there are wondrous conveniences available of Overnight Delivery and Special Packaging.

And I'm really glad Chip's still fit enough to shovel since he does the apron in front of the garage and usually the whole sidewalk around our corner lot, while I do the path from the kitchen door to the back gate (and, now, the pad by the back steps where my Vespa is parked).

Could be worse, though: the silliest shoveling-out I ever had to do was in 1978--Boston got The Blizzard, but I was still in Lancaster County, PA, which only got a couple of feet of snow in that storm. I was living in dorm, and not teaching off-campus the next few days, so by the time I went out to clear my car the plows had been by many times and the parkers on both sides of me had also shoveled out. So there I was facing a mound of snow well taller than myself in which was buried, somewhere, my VW Beetle. White, of course. After I was done laughing I took soundings with the handle end of the shovel to figure out where my car actually was...

Mike, you just wait till the next Minicon music party...

I'm wondering if anyone else might be up for a range trip on Arisia Sunday? I'd also like to go in the company of knowledgable friends, but I'll be packing up NESFA Press and supervising dealer load-out during Sunday late-afternoon at Boskone.

If not, s'OK, another time.

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